


Children Of Wartime

by polverine



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Marauders Era (Harry Potter)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-28
Updated: 2020-12-29
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:35:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 215
Words: 153,815
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23358634
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/polverine/pseuds/polverine
Summary: Tales from Hogwarts during the Marauders Era.
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Marlene McKinnon & James Potter, Mary Macdonald & Marlene McKinnon & Dorcas Meadowes & Lily Evans Potter, Sirius Black & Remus Lupin & Peter Pettigrew & James Potter, Sirius Black/Marlene McKinnon
Comments: 850
Kudos: 331





	1. 31st August 1971

Marlene swung across the the monkey bars while James sat above her. Sun had been beating down on the climbing frame all day, making the metal burn hot against her skin. “I wish it was tomorrow already.” He said longingly. “I’m not going to be able to sleep tonight.” 

“Yeah, I can’t wait to ditch you for some better friends.” Marlene smirked. James pulled a face and started trying to pry her fingers off the bar. “No, don’t! I’m kidding!” She shrieked, grabbing another one. “Face it Jamie, you’re stuck with me.” 

“I can’t wait for Quidditch! Reckon we’ll get picked for the team?” He asked. James was convinced they’d be in the same house, and she really hoped that he was right.

“They’d be mad not to.” Her dad used to take them up in into the woods on his days off to ride brooms, it would be so good to play for the actual an actual team though…and the glory of winning the Quidditch cup…people cheering her name. Marlene smiled slowly at the thought. She hooked her knees over one of the bars and let go, swinging upside down. 

“Marley, your knickers are showing.” James muttered. 

“Why do you care? You’ve seen me in my knickers before — without them too.” Their parents used to put them in the same bath to save time when they were little. She laughed at way her voice sounded as the blood rushed to her head, the skirt of her dress tickling her chin and her long hair brushing against the hard ground below. 

“ _I_ don’t care. But there’s a man over there watching us.” James said. Marlene swung her body, grabbed a bar and let her legs fall, before pulling herself up to sit beside James. Together they watched the man as he watched them. The hairs on the back of her neck stood on end; there was something very unsettling about him. “Why’s he in a playground?” James whispered. Marlene looked around, they were the only two other people there, so he wasn’t here with children of his own. “There’s a whole park full of benches he can sit on.” 

“Can we help you?” Marlene called out irritably. Though she instantly regretted it, neither of them had brought their wands, even if they had, they didn’t really know any spells yet. As the man stood up James shifted slightly, squaring his shoulders. 

“Are you here by yourself?” The man asked as he approached. 

“Marlene, let’s go.” James said, ignoring the question; he looked as uneasy as she was starting to feel. They jumped down from the climbing frame and ran out of the playground, across the field, and didn’t stop until they’d reached the safety of James’s front garden. James picked up a stick and brandished it at the gate. “I’ll jinx him if I see him again!”

“I’m sure you will.” Marlene said, rolling her eyes. 

“And at school you need to tell me if anyone picks on you, I’ll beat them up.” He said. Marlene spun around, hands on her hips. 

“I’m almost two months older than you, James Potter!” She could beat people herself.

“Yeah but I’m the boy.” James shrugged. Marlene shoved him hard, and he landed on his backside in the grass. 

“I don’t need you to protect me!” 

“Alright, alright.” He muttered, and she held out her hand to pull him back to his feet. Mrs Potter appeared on the doorstep.

“Come on, Marlene, your mother wanted you home for half six.” She smiled, ushering her inside and over to the living room fireplace.

“See you tomorrow!” She called over her shoulder to James, before stepping into the emerald flames.


	2. 1st September 1971

The compartment door slid open once more and for a moment Sirius thought that the redhead and the Snivellus boy had come back, but it wasn’t; a blonde girl with long legs and a soft smile sat down beside him.

“Did you get lost?” James asked. “You’ve been gone ages.”

“No, Jeremy started giving me a lecture on what he doesn’t want me doing…don’t leave my common room after dark, don’t answer teachers back, don’t go in to the forest…oh don’t worry,” she added with a laugh when James rolled his eyes, “I’ll be doing all of those things.” Sirius thought that her laugh might just be the most pleasant sound he’d ever heard in his life.

“Marlene, Sirius. Sirius, Marlene.” James introduced, gesturing between them. Marlene smiled at Sirius, and he suddenly felt oddly aware of how he was lounging across two seats. He straightened himself up slightly, trying to look taller; it wouldn’t be so bad ending up in the same house that she was sorted into. He looked out of the window again so that she wouldn’t think he was staring. He was with James, he’d probably leave if he got sorted into Slytherin…except he _didn’t_ want to be just like his family. The only one he liked was Andromeda, but she was in her seventh year now so even if he got put in Slytherin it wasn’t like he’d get to spend all that much time with her…and he and Narcissa hardly ever even spoke to each other anymore. 

“Do you know if people usually get sorted into the same houses as their parents?” Sirius asked, trying to sound casual. James shrugged and looked at Marlene.

“Well Jeremy’s in Gryffindor, same as Mum was. But Dad was in Slytherin.” Marlene said thoughtfully.

“I always forget Mr McKinnon was in Slytherin.” James grinned. “You know, ‘cause he’s nice…maybe if your parents were in different houses, you end up in one of the two?”

“Maybe.” Sirius said, a knot starting to form in the pit of his stomach, and wishing he’d not brought the subject back up. He’d been so excited about the prospect of going off to Hogwarts, but now he was finding it hard to shake off an icy worry. The door slid open again and another girl walked in.

“Do you mind if I sit in here?” She asked, she looked a little upset. James patted the seat beside him, introducing them all. “I’m Mary.”

“What houses were your parents in?” James asked her. “If they went to Hogwarts, that is.” 

“My Mum went to a wizarding school in Singapore, but my dad was in Hufflepuff.” Mary said. Marlene cocked her head in interest so Mary carried on, “after Dad finished Hogwarts he left for Singapore to look after my Grandmother and that’s where my parents met. We moved to Canterbury when I was two. They had a huge fight about which school to send me to.” Sirius supposed this might be a good way to test it, if Mary ended up in Hufflepuff and James ended up in Gryffindor, it didn’t bode well for him. “What house do you think you’ll be in?” Mary asked Marlene.

“She’ll be in Gryffindor.” James said quickly. “If I’m a Gryffindor then Marley’s _definitely_ a Gryffindor. And I’m bound to be in Gryffindor.” He said, swinging the imaginary sword once more. Sirius looked glumly out of the window, but he was saved from continuing with the conversation by a little old lady with a food trolley.


	3. 1st September 1971 .II

Mary waited nervously with the other first years, she was starting feel a bit sick now. “Do you know how they sort us into houses?” She asked a boy with light brown hair to her left. He nodded, but for a moment he seemed to anxious to speak.

“Apparently, we put on a hat and it decides.” He whispered, and Mary felt some of the the sensation return to her legs. That didn’t sound so bad, she wasn’t sure why the boy looked so worried. 

Professor McGonagall led them through to the Great Hall and Mary stared up at the starry ceiling in awe, it was so pretty. She was so preoccupied by it that she didn’t even notice the hat and the stool until the hat began to sing. Her legs began to feel a little numb again by the time the hat had finished, she wasn’t sure she had any of the qualities it said the houses looked for. She didn’t think she was particularly brave, or cunning, or smart. Her dad was in Hufflepuff, that one didn’t sound so bad…McGonagall began to call them forwards in alphabetical order. When she called for Avery, Mary recognised one of the boys that had been so awful to her on the train before she’d found a new compartment, the hat seemed to be on his head for less than a second before it shouted Slytherin. ‘Banks, Felix’ and ‘Bennett, Diana’ both became Ravenclaws, then McGonagall called “Black, Sirius!”

Mary watched as Sirius stepped up to the stool. The hat covered his eyes for a moment before it shouted “Gryffindor!” 

The delight on his face as he handed McGonagall back the hat was striking, she wasn’t sure that she had ever seen someone look so happy in her whole life. As he strode over to the Gryffindor table, Mary watched a seventh year Slytherin, wearing a Head Girl, badge catch his eye and give him a thumbs up. Mary tried not to think about what would happen if the hat couldn’t decide where to put her…‘Evans, Lily’ became a Gryffindor…maybe she could ask the hat for a specific house, Sirius had seemed nice so at least with Gryffindor she would have him, and she’d be far away from Avery… 

“Lupin, Remus.” The boy she had spoken to in the Entrance hall stepped forwards on shaky legs and placed the hat on his head. It took about a minute to decide, the longest so far Mary was sure, before—

“Gryffindor!”

“Macdonald, Mary.” McGonagall called. Mary shuffled up to the stool, chewing on her bottom lip as she stared at the inside of the hat. 

“Let me see,” said a little voice in her ear, “you value fairness, loyalty, and chivalry. You’re definitely noble, and I see a strong desire to prove that you can be brave. Hufflepuff or Gryffindor I think.” Marlene squeezed her eyes shut, and the hat finally called out “Gryffindor!”

Mary pulled off the hat and hurried over to the table, taking a seat between Sirius and Lily. Next was Marlene, and the hat barely brushed against her blonde hair before it shouted ‘Gryffindor.’ Meadowes, Dorcas, a black girl with her hair pulled up into a curly bun on top of her head that made her seem taller than she probably was, was also sorted into Gryffindor. The hat took over five minutes to decide where to put chubby little Peter Pettigrew; so long that the students around her began to whisper. When the hat finally decided on Gryffindor the applause was significantly less pronounced than it had been for anyone else, and Mary caught a couple of teachers sharing looks of concern. James became the last Gryffindor in their year and Mary couldn’t help but notice that there seemed to be far less Gryffindor first years compared to the other houses. When the sorting finished the empty plates before them filled with so much food that Mary’s stomach growled eagerly. As she loaded her plate up with lamb, and mashed potato, and Yorkshire puddings, and broccoli she was very glad that her dad had told her about all the different ghosts, because Lily gave a small scream of surprise when Nearly Headless Nick’s head toppled to the side. 

“What took the hat so long?” She heard Sirius ask Peter, and looked around.

“Oh,” Peter squeaked, “it wasn’t sure where to put me.”

“I thought it wasn’t sure if you had enough magic.” James grinned, and Peter turned a little pink but smiled nervously back.

“It wasn’t sure where to put me either.” Remus said. 

“Yeah but it was about four minutes more sure about you.” Sirius smirked. The food on the plates were replaced by more puddings than Mary could ever have imagined…she wished she hadn’t eaten so much of the previous course. She ladled a spoonful of strawberries into her bowl and drizzled them with melted chocolate, while she watched James push the dish containing an apple crumble closer for Marlene to reach. She had assumed that they’d met on the train but maybe they’d known each other longer. By the time their plates were clear, Mary was starting to feel very sleepy; Professor Dumbledore stood and the hall fell silent.

“Before I let you all go to bed, I would like to introduce Professor Russell who will be taking over the position of Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher. May I also remind you that the forest on the grounds is off limits to all students, and the use of magic in the corridors is prohibited. Finally, we have a new addition to the grounds, a Whomping Willow. This tree would rather be left alone, and I advise all students to give it a wide berth, lest they wish to spend time under the care of Madam Pomfrey in the hospital wing.” Out of the corner of her eye she saw James and Sirius exchange a gleeful look.


	4. 2nd September 1971

“See I told you I’d be able to find it.” James said to Sirius and Remus as they rounded a corner and joined the queue to enter the Transfiguration classroom…Peter tagging along behind them.

“Did you get lost, Jamie?” Marlene called down the line with a smirk.

“No, I have a fantastic sense of direction, we just took the scenic route.” James lied defiantly, but Marlene just laughed, she always knew when he was lying. 

“Is Marlene your cousin or something?” Remus asked him as Professor McGonagall called them inside. They had Transfiguration with the Ravenclaws, there only seemed to be a handful more of them than there were of Gryffindors. James grinned when he saw them, they looked ‘arty’, as his mother would say.

“Nah, she used to live next door until her parents moved them all to London.” He explained, and the class fell silent as McGonagall swept over two her desk. 

“Transfiguration is the most complicated magic that you will study at Hogwarts, and it can go dangerously wrong, so I will not tolerate any misbehaviour in my class— Nor, Miss McKinnon, will I permit people to talk while I am talking!” She added abruptly, cutting off Marlene’s whisper to Lily. Marlene flushed scarlet and looked quickly down at her desk.

McGonagall hadn’t been exaggerating, Transfiguration was incredibly complex. She had tasked them with turning a match into a needle, and while James was sure that his match was a little bit shinier by the end of the class, it was definitely still a match. Much to everyone’s surprise, McGonagall’s especially it seemed, three quarters of an hour into the lesson Sirius sat with a silver needle on his desk. McGonagall had gazed at him in astonishment for a moment, before holding it up so show them all.

“Well done, Mr Black.” She beamed, and awarded him ten points. 

“You switched it out with a needle you brought with you right?” James asked once they’d left the classroom, but Sirius shook his head. 

“Hand on my heart, I didn’t.” He said, looking very proud of himself.

“Why aren’t you in Ravenclaw?” Diana Bennett asked suspiciously, catching up with the Gryffindors as they made their way to Charms. Sirius just shrugged and James wondered if the hat had even been on his head long enough to discuss another house with him.

“Is it too late for you to ask to move houses?” 

“I’m happy where I am, I think.” Sirius called after her, with a grin, as she veered off down another corridor to whichever lesson the Ravenclaws had next.


	5. 6th September 1971

Remus awoke. Speckles of light shone through the boarded up windows of the Hogsmeade house that he was confined to. He supposed that he should be grateful that it was roomier than his parents basement; he remembered feeling grateful for the extra space last night. Now though, he just wanted a cuddle from his Mum. He let out a ragged sob which aggravated his aching bones — hot tears rolling into his hair — and forced himself to turn over onto his front. “Stop crying.” He hissed, grinding his knuckles into the hard floorboards. He found that he’d bitten himself more than usual, maybe it had been the unfamiliar location. Blood was still dripping from his wounds. Maybe next month would be easier…

He used the table to drag himself up to his feet and limped over to the bathroom, turning on the shower. The shack had running water at least — though it was freezing. He had to try and clean himself up a bit, if Madam Pomfrey saw him like this then she’d keep him in the hospital wing for the rest of the day; he didn’t want to fall behind. Shivering, he desperately tried to curl in on himself. He watched the blood run down the drain for a while before, feeling numb from the cold, he dried himself off and dressed.

Remus struggled up the passage to the willow, his right leg didn’t seem to want to respond properly to instruction, and blood from a particularly deep bite on his left arm was once more running down onto his hand. He needed Madam Pomfrey to heal him up quickly. For the first time in his life he was starting to make friends…but how on earth would he explain it if they saw him like this? If they ever found out that he was a monster he’d be all alone. He reached out and touched the knot in the trunk, the branches stilled and Madam Pomfrey helped him clamber out.

“Oh my goodness.” She said, wrapping a blanket carefully around his shoulders. “You poor boy.”

“It’s not so bad.” He mumbled.

He really wanted his Mum.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just in case any one is curious, I looked it up and 5th September 1971 was a full moon


	6. 18th September 1971

Dorcas propped that morning’s copy of the _Daily Prophet_ up against the jug of orange juice. She’d noticed her parents names in an article about a Death Eater’s arrest the previous week and she was looking for further mentions. Aurors had dangerous jobs, and while she didn’t think it very likely that, should anything happen to them, she would hear about it first in the paper, it didn’t stop her obsessively scanning it every morning. They’d also not responded to the letter that she’d sent yesterday, but — she tried to reassure herself — if they’d been working through the night like they sometimes did then they probably hadn’t had the chance. As proud as she was that they were out there trying to stop Voldemort, she lived in fear that one day they just wouldn’t make it home.

“Any good news?” Lily asked, leaning across to look at the paper.

“There never is.” James laughed, spreading jam onto his toast; though Dorcas wasn’t sure how he knew this, she’d not noticed an owl deliver him a paper in the near three weeks since they’d arrived here. 

“Madam Malkin’s is has a sale, that’s about it.” Dorcas said, pointing at the advert in the bottom corner of the page. Remus also had his nose in the morning paper. He looked better than he had done when they had arrived here, not so tired…though worry was creasing his forehead as he read. She wondered which of the horrifying news stories he was reading; the Muggle family that were burned alive in their home, the little girl that was savaged by a werewolf, the old wizard that was tortured for days…

“Does anyone know how to do a French plait?” Mary asked, walking over to them. “I tried using a spell for it but it was tangling my hair.” 

Marlene got up and offered her the seat. “I do, come here.” She ran the comb through Mary’s hair and gathered up a small section at front. Sirius knelt up beside her on the bench to watch, and in a rather bemused voice, Marlene explained what she was doing step by step. Dorcas folded up her paper and picked a croissant from one of the plates of pastries. 

“Can I try?” Sirius asked Mary. They all stared at him.

“Umm, sure.” Mary said, sounding surprised. Sirius got to his feet and Marlene moved to the side to make room, carefully handing over the sections of Mary’s hair and talking him through what to do next. 

“Mate, what are you doing?” James laughed.

“Seems like a useful skill, I might have a daughter one day.” Sirius shrugged. Dorcas looked past him to the Slytherin table, there was an older blonde girl watching him with a sad smile, but when she noticed Dorcas staring she quickly looked away and engaged the boy next to her in conversation. 

“I’m going to meet Sev in the library, I want to make a start on Slughorn’s homework. You coming, Dorcas?” Lily asked.

“Who’s Sev?” James asked quickly. “Wait…are you on about Snivellus?” 

“Don’t call him that!” Lily snapped, rounding on James. 

“Yeah, I’m coming.” Dorcas said, linking her arm with Lily’s and tugging her away. If Lily and James started screaming at each other over breakfast a teacher was bound to swoop over and start docking points. So it wasn’t the most fun way to spend a Saturday, but if she was going to be as good an Auror as her parents were it was never to early to start preparing.


	7. 31st October 1971

“Hey, Evans!” James called across the common room. Lily swept her hair over her shoulder and looked up from her book. “You coming with us tonight?” 

“Coming where?” She asked, though she wasn’t sure why she was even asking, she couldn’t imagine ever accompanying him anywhere.

James looked around the common room but Remus was the only other person around; it was the first Hogsmeade weekend so it was fairly quiet in the school today. “Marlene didn’t tell you? She was trying to get close enough to Whomping Willow to touch the trunk, and she was sure that she saw a tunnel under the roots. We’re going to go and investigate tonight.”

“That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. You’ll get into so much trouble if you’re caught wandering the grounds at night! That’s if that tree doesn’t kill you first.” Lily snapped, slamming her book shut. If there was a tunnel under the tree then did that mean that it had been put there to cover up something? “Tell me you’re not going along with this, Remus?” She demanded, he’d so far seemed most sensible of the Lost Boys. Remus, who had been staring into the fire, turned at the sound of his name. He didn’t look at all well again. Tired, run down. “Are you alright?” 

“I’m fine.” He said faintly. “I think I’ll go and lie down.” 

“Remus!” James called, but he didn’t look back at them as he went up to the boys dormitory. “Come on Evans, live a little.” The portrait hole opened and Marlene climbed inside. 

“Was this your idea?” Lily asked, turning around in her chair to face her.

“Was what my idea…oh,” Marlene said, looking between her and James. “no, but it sounds like a laugh.” She shrugged.

“You’re an idiot.” Lily muttered.

“Hey! Don’t call her an idiot!” James shouted, but Lily had already started up to the girls dormitory. She was quite alone now, so she allowed herself a small smile at the spark of adventure that James Potter had ignited in her. It was reckless, and dangerous…and they’d be in so much trouble if they got caught out of bed, but she couldn’t deny her curiosity about what might possibly be lurking beyond the tree. 

Lily rummaged in her trunk for her ballet shoes, dance always worked to ground her, to keep her disciplined. She slipped them on and began to stretch. She wouldn’t trade Hogwarts for anything, nor her life in this world to which she truly belonged. Yet, there were everyday things from her Muggle life that she missed terribly. Ballet classes for example, or Saturday afternoons going to watch Aston Villa with her dad. She even missed arguing with Tuney.


	8. 1st November 1971

Marlene crept down the dormitory stairs with Lily, Mary and Dorcas at two o’clock that morning. The boys were already waiting for them in the common room. “This is such a bad idea.” Lily whispered.

“Relax.” She murmured, as James held the portrait open for them and he pressed his finger to his lips. He hadn’t brought the cloak, she didn’t think he would have. It wouldn’t cover them all and if some of them were going to get caught then all of them were going to get caught. 

“I’m not sure about this.” Peter mumbled as they made their way quietly down the seventh floor corridor.

“Then go back. No one is forcing you to come.” Sirius snapped. Marlene saw Peter look longingly back at the portrait as they turned the corner to a flight of stairs but he still followed them.

“Will all of you be quiet.” James hissed, she wasn’t sure how he was remembering his way in the dark. His sense of direction wasn’t half as good as he claimed it to be. She wondered how many nights he’d crept around under his cloak. 

“Did you hear that?” Remus asked, and they froze. Marlene could hear shuffling footsteps on the other side of a tapestry door. 

“Filch.” Mary breathed, and James mouthed ‘this way’, beckoning them through a door opposite. They sprinted on tip toes down three more corridors until they arrived at the marble staircase. Dorcas reached the heavy oak doors first having taken the stairs two at time and wrenched it open.

“ _What on earth do you think you’re doing?_ ” Marlene felt her blood run cold, and in unison they all turned to see Professor McGonagall standing at the top of the stairs in a tartan dressing gown. The heavy door closed with an echoing bang. “My office. Now!” She shouted, pointing down the corridor to her right. They traipsed slowly back up the staircase, Marlene felt as though her legs had turned to lead. They filed into her office and she slammed the door behind them. “Explain yourselves.” She said, striding around to the other side of her desk to stand in front of the eight, pyjama clad, first years.

“We were sleepwalking, Professor.” Sirius said, quickly. McGonagall gazed down at him, her nostrils flaring. 

“Sleepwalking? All eight of you were sleepwalking?” She asked, disbelief dripping from her tone.

“That’s right Professor.” Lily said. Marlene looked around at her, she’d half expected Lily to tell her the truth, she’d been so against them going in the first place. 

“Whose idea was it for you to go _sleepwalking_?” McGonagall asked slowly.

“It was mine.” Said Mary, but this wasn’t true, Marlene hadn’t even told her about the tree until just before they’d gone up to bed. 

“No it was mine.” Marlene said, she couldn’t let Mary take the fall, if she hadn’t mentioned it to James then he wouldn’t have had the idea.

“It was my idea, Professor.” James said.

“They’re all lying, Professor McGonagall, it was my idea.” Sirius said.

“No, I was the one that suggested it.” Remus said gravely.

“It was my idea—” Dorcas began but Lily cut her off.

“It was mine, Professor.” Lily said. Marlene felt Peter stumble against her slightly, Sirius must have kicked him.

“It was my idea.” Peter squeaked.

An odd expression flashed across McGonagall’s face, temporarily interrupting her anger. “As you are all so intent on acting out _Spartacus_ at half past two in the morning, I will be taking twenty five points from each of you—”

“Professor! That’s two hundred points!” James shouted. 

“I’m pleased to see that you can count, Mr Potter. And you will be spending all of next Saturday in detention. I’m sure Mr Filch has plenty of cleaning for you to be getting on with. Now, go straight to bed. All of you.”

“Two hundred points.” Peter groaned, as they shuffled back along the corridors. “Everyone is going to hate us.” 

“I think it was going to be more.” Marlene whispered, thinking of that strange look on McGonagall’s face.

“What makes you say that?” Lily asked.

“Marlene’s right. I think she liked that we stuck together.” Sirius muttered. “Profiterole.” He said to the Fat Lady.


	9. November 1st 1971 .II

“I can’t believe _you_ lost two hundred points in one night.” Severus muttered. Lily yawned, pulling her cloak tighter around herself as they sat in the courtyard during morning break. It was too cold to be outside this morning.

“It wasn’t just me.” She said defensively, as she watched James, Sirius and Peter chatting animatedly with Marlene. Peter had been right, the rest of Gryffindor seemed a little off with them today. She wasn’t worried about that though; she was more concerned about Remus, he looked even worse than he had yesterday. She’d try and talk him into going to the hospital wing if he didn’t perk up by this afternoon. 

“What were you even doing out with Potter in the middle of the night?” He hissed. “He’s vile.”

“I wasn’t just _out with Potter._ ” Lily snapped, he was making it sound like they’d been on a date or something. “We were sleepwalking.” She added with a grin. Severus just glowered at her.

“I keep trying to tell you that they’re no good, why didn’t you listen to me?” He snapped, Lily rolled her eyes. “They’ve gone and got you stuck in detention on a Saturday.”

“Oh, give it a rest Sev, I’m too tired for this right now. They’re my friends. They didn’t get me in trouble, I got myself in trouble.”

“I thought _I_ was your friend?” He asked dejectedly.

“You are!” She insisted, just because she was making new friends now didn’t mean that she liked him any less. “I can have more than one friend.” Lily watched as Jeremy stormed across the courtyard. He grabbed hold of Marlene’s ponytail and pulled her over to one of the free benches. Lily stood up quickly, drawing her wand, and caught James’s eye as he mirrored the action.

“Don’t get involved. I’m sure that she can look after herself.” Severus said, gripping hold of her arm but Lily yanked it free.

“Jeremy, get off of me!”

“Two hundred points, Marlene! I told you that you weren’t allowed out after dark! I told you that you had to behave yourself! Just wait until I write to Mum and Dad, you’re going to be in so much trouble! You’re such an embarrassment!” Jeremy yelled.

“You’re the one making a scene!” Marlene shouted back, jumping to her feet. “ _You_ don’t get to tell me off and I’ll hex you if you ever grab me again.” She pushed past him and strode furiously from the courtyard. 

“I bet she get’s a Howler.” Severus grinned gleefully.

“What’s a Howler?” Lily asked, though by the look on his face, she was sure it could be nothing good. “You know what, never mind.” Lily muttered.

“Lily, where are you going?” Severus asked, following her as she chased after Marlene. She needed to make sure that she was okay.


	10. 1st November 1971 .III

“Marley.” James called, leaning across his desk to tap her on the shoulder. He wanted to make sure that she was alright, and if she wasn’t then it was his responsibility to cheer her up. Marlene was a proud girl, and Jeremy had humiliated her during morning break. 

“I’m trying to concentrate, Jamie.” She hissed. Flitwick had tasked them with trying to make feathers fly, but as exciting as that was, it was the last thing that James cared about right now. Marlene's back was unnaturally straight in the way that told James that he was playing with fire… she was likely to explode at him. 

“Look, Jeremy is a prat, I’m going to put itching powder in his pyjamas, okay?” James said. He wished she would turn around so he could see if that had earned him a smile or not. He was sure it had.

“Just leave her alone, Potter. She’s not in the mood.” Lily muttered, turning right around in her chair to face him. James felt a spark of fury ignite in his chest. Who was Lily to tell him to leave Marlene alone? He was trying to help!

“You know what, Evans, mind your—”

“Mr Potter, let’s see what progress you have made.” Said Professor Flitwick, appearing suddenly at his side. James jumped, nearly slipping out of his seat and Mary, who had been watching them, had to stifle a giggle with her hand. James righted himself and pointed his wand at the feather. 

“ _Wingardium Leviosa!_ ” James called, with a flick of his wrist, and the feather floated up above their heads.

“Well done, Mr Potter!” Flitwick cried. Sirius muttered ‘show off,’ but James thought that was a bit rich coming from him, what with his Transfiguration successes every lesson. He waited until Flitwick had moved on to correct Mary’s grip before he turned to Sirius and Remus. Peter shuffled his chair closer but he wasn’t sure why he was bothering, it wasn’t like he ever did anything other than tag along…James supposed he might be useful as a lookout, they needed to make sure no one came into Jeremy’s dormitory. 

“So, here’s the plan…” 

When Jeremy thundered down the stairs and back into the common room that evening he was scratching like he had fleas. James and Sirius shared a grin before lifting their books a little higher to half obscure their faces.

“Marlene!” Jeremy growled, looking around for her.

“What now?” She sighed, throwing her Defence Against the Dark Arts book onto the table. Jeremy gripped the arms of her chair, his face inches from her’s.

“You’ve been in my dormitory. You did something to my clothes!” He let go of the chair to claw at his back.

“What are you talk—” Her eyes flicked to James and comprehension seemed to dawn on her face. “Yeah, okay. I messed with your clothes. Serves you right for pulling my hair.” She smirked. 

“Right, I’m going to McGonagall.” Jeremy said, crossing to the portrait hole. Marlene’s face paled a little, and Sirius stood up quickly.

“It was us, Jezza. It was me and James.” 

“I hope McGonagall gives you a week of detentions. You need to stay the hell away from my sister, I won’t have you corrupting her…and don’t call me Jezza.” He snapped. James glared at the Jeremy as he disappeared out into the corridor. The idea that Marlene was meek enough to be influenced like this by anyone was deeply offensive.


	11. 3rd November 1971

Despite the fact that they had double History of Magic that afternoon — and that he and James had detention with McGonagall over the whole itching powder in Jezza's pyjamas prank — Sirius had high hopes for this birthday. His friends seemed to have picked up on what his parents were like, and had given him a box crammed to bursting with Gryffindor banners, scarves, and flags for him to decorate his bedroom with. Lily had even thrown in a Muggle poster of a motorbike — quite nice of her really, given that he’d literally bored her to sleep in front of the fire with questions about them a few weeks ago. Now he just needed to learn how to perform a Permanent Sticking Charm before he went home for the summer.

Andromeda wrapped an arm around him from behind and planted a kiss on his cheek; he recognised the faint smell of tobacco, coffee and perfume “Happy Birthday.” She said.

“Get off, Dromeda.” He grumbled, turning pink as James and Peter smirked at each other. She pulled away and licked her thumb, wiping the lipstick off his face. A few of the older Gryffindors sitting near them at the table laughed and he turned redder still. She squeezed herself between him and Marlene, handed him a present, and took a bite out of his slice of toast. Neatly wrapped in fancy silver paper and decorated with a pretty green ribbon, the tag read ‘ _To Sirius, Happy Birthday, Lots of Love, Andromeda_ ’, but it wasn’t Andromeda’s untidy scrawl; Narcissa’s elegant handwriting was so similar to his own that he recognised it instantly. Sirius tore open the paper and picked up the heavy book; _A History of Gryffindor House_ by Leona Houghton. He ran his hand over the deep red leather and flicked through the gold edged pages. It started with Godric Gryffindor, and had chapters on notable Witches and Wizards who had been in the house. 

“Thanks.” Sirius grinned. “And tell her thanks too.” He added, looking over to where Narcissa sat. Narcissa tilted her head slightly and he gave her small, sad smile. He so badly wished that things could be different. He just didn’t understand why she seemed so intent on becoming the shandy version of Bellatrix when Andromeda was so cool.

“You’re welcome.” She said, messing up his hair and returning to the Slytherin table. Remus took her seat.

“Where were you last night? You look terrible.” Sirius said, there were dark circles under his eyes and he looked quite drained.

“I wasn’t feeling well, so I went to the hospital wing. I’m alright now though.”

“Are you sure? I want to nap through History of Magic but I can’t if you’re not going to take notes on the 1637 Werewolf Code of Conduct for me to copy.” Sirius said, pouring him a cup of tea; a smile flickered across Remus’s face. James half dived across the table, upending the toast rack, and grabbed the neck of Remus’s robes, pulling them to the side slightly.

“What the—”

“How did you get that bruise?” James demanded. Sirius looked and he too saw the purple discolouration to Remus’s collar bone. 

“Let go.” Remus snapped, prying James’s hand away and straightening his robes. “I tripped on the way to the hospital wing.” 

“You tripped?” James asked, raising his eyebrows, disbelief lacing his words. “Then why didn’t Madam Pomfrey clear it up?”

“I didn’t mention it, I didn’t even notice it.” Remus replied flatly, standing up back up. “Are you coming to Herbology?”


	12. 6th November 1971

James pushed open the door to a girls toilets on the second floor, and used the mop bucket to prop the it open for his fellow Gryffindors. It had taken them all morning to clean the bathrooms in the dungeons, ground, and first floors and Filch had said that if they didn’t finish today then they’d have to carry on tomorrow. All without magic as well — his arm was killing him from scrubbing. He wasn’t going to complain about it again though, not out loud at least, Lily had given him such a dirty look when he’d done so earlier.

“I don’t even know why he’s making us clean this one.” Marlene whispered. “Moaning Myrtle is only going to mess it up again.”

“Excuse me?” Sirius sniggered. “Who’s Moaning Myrtle?” 

“She’s not here.” Dorcas said, having pushed open all of the cubicle doors to check.

“She’s the ghost that haunts the bathroom.” Mary explained, using one of the hot taps to refill their buckets. James thought this ghost name had to be the best yet, it beat Nearly Headless Nick and the Bloody Baron by a mile. 

“She haunts the bathroom?” Remus laughed, pouring bleach down one of the toilets and starting to scrub. “How did she die?”

“With a name like Moaning Myrtle I have a few ideas.” Sirius smirked. 

“You’re disgusting.” Lily snapped, throwing a wet cloth at him, but he dodged. The cloth hit the wall, sliding down the tiles and onto the floor.

“I don’t get it.” Peter said, looking between Sirius and Lily, but they both ignored him, Sirius still grinning.

“She’s so annoying, someone had to have done her in.”

“Marlene!” Mary gasped. “That’s an awful thing to say, she was only a teenager, it had to have been an accident. I can’t imagine someone would have killed a student.” James thought this was quite naive of Mary, plenty of children were getting murdered now. Though he supposed Hogwarts seemed fairly safe, at least with Dumbledore around.

“I bet she was murdered.” Marlene whispered, but quiet enough so that only James would hear her. 

It really was the most miserable bathroom that he had ever set foot in, cobwebs hung from the candle brackets, one of the cubicle doors was hanging off its hinges. The sinks were chipped, and there was a long crack running across one of the mirrors. He wondered briefly who’d broken it and gotten the seven years of bad luck. James walked over to the skinks and started trying to wipe away some of the grime, but when he went to turn the tap of one, nothing happened. “Seriously, why is he making us bother?” He snapped irritably, leaning down to look at a little serpent carved into one of the taps. “Hey Marley, some Slytherin girl has carved a snake on this one, think we should carve a lion on one to even it out?” 

“Do it.” Peter said, leaning over to look.

“Go on then, Peter.” He said, standing back to make room for him, but Peter shuffled uncomfortably from side to side. James rolled his eyes. “Chicken.” He muttered and sprayed the mirror with glass cleaner.

“Can we not make this worse by vandalising the place.” Mary said. “I don’t want to lose another Saturday.” 

“Fine.” James sighed, he was only trying to make it a little bit more fun.


	13. 17th December 1971

“This is all so stupid.” Sirius muttered as Dorcas opened the door to Slughorn’s office for his Christmas party. “I can’t believe I let you talk me into actually coming.” Dorcas rolled her eyes and looked around for Lily, she was stood over in the corner talking to Snape. “Snivellus got invited?” Sirius asked in disbelief. “Right, that’s it, I’m definitely leaving.” 

“No don’t.” Dorcas said, grabbing his elbow with both of her hands. Lily was going to spend the whole evening with Snape and she wanted someone to talk to. “You can’t just leave me here by myself, that’s not very chivalrous. I thought you were a Gryffindor?” 

Sirius glared at her resentfully but he let her tug him into the room.

“Sirius!” Slughorn boomed, beckoning him over to where he was stood with Narcissa and Malfoy, that Slytherin prefect that she was dating. “Your cousin and I were just talking about you.”

“Oh yeah?” Sirius asked cautiously.

“I just can’t believe I didn’t get you, I got all of the Black girls! I was so sure I’d get you too when your name was read out at the start of term! I taught your parents, you know? Of course that was before I was head of Slytherin.” Slughorn sighed, and Sirius made a non committal noise. “I’m sure you were shocked that the hat put him in Gryffindor?” He asked Narcissa. Narcissa watched Sirius for a moment with an odd expression.

“No.” She finally said. “I would have been more shocked if he had been in Slytherin. Sirius has always liked to distance himself from us, he’s breaking his mother’s heart.” 

Dorcas felt Sirius stiffen slightly beside her; what an awful thing to say. Slughorn looked awkwardly between Narcissa and Sirius. 

“Have you met Dorcas Meadows?” Slughorn eventually asked Malfoy and Narcissa, in a forced, jovial voice, apparently deciding that a change in subject was the safest way forwards. “Her parents, Matthew and Sophia, are Aurors. Highly respected, they’re doing wonders in the fight against He Who Must Not Be Named.” Malfoy’s lip curled up into a sneer. “Dorcas, I’m particularly fond of you mother.” Slughorn continued. “She’s a commanding woman, I’ll be very surprised if she’s not made Minster for Magic someday.” Dorcas smiled, her father called her a commanding woman too; Dorcas only hoped that she would be described that way when she grew up. 

“Hi.” Lily said, appearing at Dorcas’s shoulder. Dorcas looked around, Snape was stood slightly behind her with a gloomy expression on his sallow face — he seemed to be enjoying himself even less than Sirius, if that was possible. 

“Lily! My little Potions star.” Slughorn beamed. 

“So you’re Severus’s Muggle-born friend?” Malfoy asked, his sneer becoming more pronounced. 

“You’re not Muggle-born, are you?” Slughorn gasped, and Lily nodded. “I never would have been able to tell!”

Dorcas ground her teeth a little at this, it was such a stupid comment. “You can’t tell someone’s Muggle-born by looking at them.”

“I could tell.” Malfoy said nastily. Dorcas felt Lily reach around her to grab hold of Sirius’s arm but Slughorn, infuriatingly, seemed to be pretending that he’d gone temporarily deaf.

“Let’s go and get a drink, Lucius.” Narcissa said, slipping her hand into Malfoy’s and pulling him away into the crowd. Dorcas glared at Snape; if he was as good a friend to Lily as she insisted he was then why wasn’t he standing up for her. She was very pleased to see that he seemed to fold inwards a little under her gaze.


	14. 15th January 1972

Sirius spotted Andromeda sat on a low wall, tucked away beneath North Tower. When she spotted him she waved him over. “What are you doing out here? It’s freezing.” Sirius asked.

“Waiting for Ted. You can hang out until he gets here if you like.” She offered, and Sirius nodded eagerly, watching her take a swig from a hip flask. “It’s Firewhisky, you want to try some?”

Sirius didn’t think he’d ever heard a more stupid question in his life, of course he wanted to try some! She handed him the flask and he took a sip, before passing it back. The liquid burned his throat on the way down but a wonderful warmth spread through his limbs, combating the icy January evening. “Can I have some more?” He asked, feeling bolstered.

“Absolutely not.” Andromeda said firmly. “What sort of Head Girl do you take me for?” Then she grinned. “Want a fag?” She asked, holding out a little silver case. Sirius picked one up and placed it in his mouth, Andromeda held up the flame of her lighter to the end but smirked. “You’ve got to breathe in.” Sirius inhaled and the cigarette lit; smoke filled his lungs and he started to cough. Andromeda laughed. She took the cigarette from his mouth and took a drag. “I don’t think smoking is for you, kid.” 

Sirius glowered enviously at her, she just looked so effortlessly cool sat on the wall with her hip flask and her cigarette. “Let me try again.” He demanded. Andromeda surveyed him for a moment; he was sure that she’d been about to hand it back when she looked past him.

“Shit.” She whispered, grinding it out behind her and pulling Sirius into her arms. She was holding him so tightly to her that he could hardly move. “There, there, Sirius!” She said loudly. “It’s okay, I miss her too!” 

“Miss Black, what ever is the matter?” The voice sounded like Professor Kettleburn but Andromeda’s grip on him was so vice-like that he couldn’t turn around to check. “Is he okay?”

“Oh Professor, he’ll be okay. We’re just coming up to the anniversary of our Great Aunt Belvina’s death. Sirius was so terribly close to her.” Andromeda said, stroking Sirius’s hair. He racked his brain trying to even remember who Belvina was…he wasn’t sure either of them had even met her, and she certainly must have been further back than ‘Great Aunt’. He spotted the smoke drifting up from the abandoned cigarette and quickly cupped his hand over it; turning his snort of laughter into a loud sob. “It’s alright Sirius, you have a good cry, you’ll feel better for it.” 

“When you’ve composed yourself, you should both go back inside. It’s getting dark.” Kettleburn said. Andromeda waited a few moments before she let go, and they watched him limping away into the distance. 

“Lucky it wasn’t Slughorn, he’d have stayed to share some anecdote about a deceased relative. That or it would be just our luck that he was friends with her at school or something.” Andromeda grinned.

“Or McGonagall, she’d have seen through your overacting from a mile off.” Sirius teased. 

“I think we did a great job.” Andromeda chuckled, bowing to an imaginary audience.

“Great Aunt Belvina? Where on earth did you pull that name from? Had I even been born when she died?” 

“It’s a gift.” She shrugged. “I think you were about three.” Her story wouldn’t have held up to much scrutiny, but Kettleburn seemed to have bought it. “Right, clear off, I can see Ted.”

Sirius was shivering by the time he got back to the common room and the bottom of his robes were soaked from the snow, he couldn’t wait to put on his pyjamas and warm up by the fire. He nodded to James and went up to the dormitory. Sirius froze in the doorway, his heart pounding.

“Remus…” Remus was stood in his pyjama bottoms with his back to him and when he turned he jumped, grabbing for his top to cover himself up. His torso was horribly scarred...some old, white, and others newer, violently red against his fair skin. 

“It’s not what you think.” Remus said quickly. Sirius stared at him.

“What do I think?” Sirius challenged, his voice was calmer than he had been expecting it to be. Remus opened his mouth but closed it again. “Who did that to you?” 

“No one—”

“Some of those are pretty old, I know what old scars look like. Was it your parents?” 

Remus raised his wand so quickly that Sirius didn’t have time to react, and the jug on the table to Sirius’s right exploded, spraying the room with glass and water. Sirius ducked far too late and felt the stinging in his cheek. “Don’t you dare! My parents are good people, they haven’t done anything to me.” 

He had never seen Remus lose his temper before. He pulled on his pyjama top and pushed past him.

“Did you do it to yourself?” Sirius called, but Remus ignored the question.


	15. 11th February 1972

The Gryffindors were still talking in excited whispers when Professor Russell entered the Defence Against the Dark Arts classroom; they had spent last lesson learning the theory for the Disarming Charm and she had promised that this lesson would be a practical. Even Remus — who had been moodier and more reserved than usual, talking less to all of them — was chatting spiritedly to Sirius and James. It wasn’t the most adventurous of spells, but ever since they’d seen Professor Russell disarm a couple of dulling Ravenclaw sixth years they’d all been quite eager to have a go themselves.

“Alight, everyone on their feet.” She said, striding to the front of the class. She waved her wand and the desks and chairs skidded to the classroom edge. “I’m going to divide you up into pairs. Miss Meadows with Mr Lupin, Mr Potter with Mr Pettigrew, Miss McKinnon with Mr Black, and Miss Evans with Miss Macdonald.”

Marlene had noticed that their teachers frequently tried to separate James and Sirius, they seemed to find it made for safer and less disruptive lessons…especially on Fridays, when concentration was running low from the prospect of the afternoon off awaiting them. They rearranged themselves and Marlene turned to face Sirius. “I’ll go easy on you, McKinnon.” He said in a kind, yet somewhat condescending voice.

“It’ll probably be better for you if you don’t.” She warned. She didn’t need anyone going easy on her, and like James, it seemed like Sirius was going to have to learn that the hard way.

“You are to use _Expelliarmus_ only.” Professor Russell said, looking pointedly at James and Sirius, who smirked at each other. “On the count of three. One, two, three!”

“ _Expelliarmus!_ ” Marlene shouted, pointing her wand at Sirius. His flew from his hand and he crashed into the desks behind him. Marlene covered her mouth with her hand, she honestly hadn’t meant to knock him to the floor. “I’m so sorry!” 

Sirius gazed up at her in shock for a few seconds before his face broke out into a beaming smile. “That was brilliant!” 

“Thanks.” Marlene grinned back and held out her hand. He took it, and she pulled him to his feet. “Want to try again? I’ll go easy on you, Black.”

Sirius nodded and hurried off to find his wand. Marlene looked around the room: Dorcas was handing Remus back his wand; Lily had somehow managed to cause Mary to float a foot in the air and was currently holding onto both of her hands and trying to tug her back to the ground; and Professor Russell was summoning Peter’s wand from the grounds where James had caused it to fly out of the window. Despite the chaos, Professor Russell seemed throughly unperturbed, though Marlene supposed that this must be her smallest class…it was probably a nice break for her. 

“Did you see me disarm James?” Peter asked Marlene excitedly as they all entered the Great Hall for lunch.

“Oh shut up, Pete.” James snapped, shoving him. “That doesn’t count, I was trying to help Evans get Mackers down! I was barely gripping my wand, I wasn’t even paying attention to you!”

“Does anyone?” Sirius asked, and Peter scowled at him.

“Do you have to call me Mackers?” Mary sighed witheringly…though she looked relived to be back on solid ground. James shot her an apologetic smile, Marlene wasn’t fooled however, nicknames seemed to stick.

“Yeah, Peter, I don’t think your one successful attempt counts.” Marlene teased, ladling leek and potato soup into her bowl. “Mine on the other hand, did you all see Sirius go flying?” She was more than eager to brag now that she was sure that he was okay, and that he was taking the whole thing in very good humour. They spent their lunch hour discussing their Disarming charms in animated detail. With each recount their stories got considerably more outlandish, and by the time they were leaving the Great Hall for Herbology, James was insisting that Peter had been hanging from the window ledge by his fingertips…though, even after much dissection, none of them — including Lily herself — could work out what she’d done to make Mary float in the air like that.


	16. 27th March 1972

“Is ickle Mary all alone?” Mary didn’t need to look around to recognise Mulciber’s voice as she hurried down the third floor corridor to the Charms classroom. “No friends for you to hide behind?” She heard him whisper a spell, but before she could even turn and draw her own wand she felt her throat constricting, like something was squeezing tight around it.

“Please.” She gasped, clawing at her neck. Mulciber sneered at her for few moments more, before he lifted his wand; laughing as he walked away. Mary crashed to her hands and knees, air filling her lungs. She pushed herself to her feet and shot through the door to Charms, slamming it behind her. 

“Miss Macdonald! Class started ten minutes ago!” Flitwick squeaked. 

“I’m sorry.” She panted, hurrying passed the Hufflepuffs to one of the tables at right at the back behind her fellow Gryffindors. “I had to go back for my book.” 

“Are you okay?” Marlene whispered. “You look—”

“As I was saying!” Flitwick said, cutting Marlene off. “Your exams are approaching—”

“Ten weeks!” James called, sounding outraged. He apparently wouldn’t stand for any mention of the ‘E’ word on his birthday. It was a four day week with the Easter holidays starting on Friday and James had made it very clear at breakfast that morning that he had already checked out. 

“—and I expect you to revise hard over the holidays, and practice, practice, practice! Now, Miss Smith, will you please hand out the pineapples. We will be making them tap-dance today.” 

Mary stood her book up on desk and rested her chin on her folded arms, hiding herself from view, but Marlene snatched it up. “What happened?” 

“Nothing.” Mary mumbled, she didn’t want to cause a bother, and her friends seemed to have a tendency to overreact.

“Mary, if something’s happened you should tell us. We care about you, we want to help.” Remus said kindly, taking the book back from Marlene.

Sirius snorted. “Yeah, Remus. If something happens, friends want to help.” He said pointedly. Mary looked between them, Remus’s expression had darkened.

“It’s not the same.” Remus half growled. 

“How did you—”

“Just drop it.” Remus warned as he took a pineapple from Lydia Smith. 

“I’m going to find out what’s going on with you.” Sirius said, before turning his attention back to Mary. “Has someone been bothering you?”

“Just drop it.” Mary muttered.

“You know what, fine. Suit yourselves, alright. Fine.” Sirius snapped, picking up his pineapple and dragging his chair over to sit by James.


	17. 9th April 1972

Lily strode in the direction of the Whomping Willow, with Severus hurrying behind her whispering frantic warnings. It was the first truly warm day of the year and they’d been stuck inside the library revising for a week now. 

“Lily, you can’t, it’s too dangerous!” Severus said. Lily glanced at him over her shoulder and rolled her eyes. 

“Oh lighten up, Sev. It’ll be fun!” 

“The branches aren’t going to let you touch the trunk, don’t be one of _those idiots_ trying!” Severus pleaded. 

“If anyone can it’s me.” Lily grinned, stopping on the lawn and doing a pirouette before starting off again. 

“Was this Potter’s idea or McKinnon’s?” Severus asked, as Lily waved to them. “Which one talked you into it?” 

Lily ignored him, she hadn’t been talked into anything, she wanted to be the one to be able to touch the trunk, no one had managed it yet.

“Oh _wonderful_ , you’ve bought Snivellus.” Sirius said to her.

“Stop it.” She warned, but Sirius just smirked. “Have you had a go yet?” She asked Marlene, Marlene shook her head. They watched as a fourth year Ravenclaw, that Lily was sure she recognised as playing Seeker stepped up. He waved his wand at one of the branches and it froze but as soon as he pointed his wand at another, the first branch took his legs out from under him and landed flat on his back. It seemed the tree wasn’t the easiest to control by magic. 

“Hi Severus.” Lily looked around, they had been joined by Florence Fortescue, a pretty, mousy-haired Slytherin in their year. “Are you going to have a go?” 

“No.” Severus said, but he sounded less sure than he had when Lily had mentioned it. She looked back at the tree to see James get whacked in the shoulder by a branch, and retreated to a fit of laughter from Sirius.

“My turn.” Lily said, kicking off her shoes, it would be easier to move in her socks. 

“Lily, don’t.” Severus begged, but she ignored him. She jumped and ducked her way through the branches — it was no harder than ballet. The tips of her fingers had just scraped against the bark of the trunk when a branch swung down and caught her in the stomach, knocking the air out of her and sending her flying backwards ten feet. 

“Lily!” 

It was James who called out, James who dropped down to her side. Lily coughed, feeling as though she was going to throw up. She could still feel the rough surface of the tree against her fingers, and when she held her hand up to her face to see, the tips were flecked with bark.

“I did it.” She wheezed, showing James. She glanced at Severus, he looked furious. Lily wished that he would cheer up a bit, not everything had to be so serious all the time. Marlene helped her sit up and they all watched as a Hufflepuff boy stepped forwards, he’d hardly inched close when a branch struck him across the face, blood splattered the ground and Lily screamed. 

“Davey!” A Hufflepuff girl cried rushing forwards and dragging him back. Davey was clutching his face, blood running down his arms.

“He needs to go to the hospital wing.”

That night McGonagall visited the common room and forbade them all from going near the tree. Madam Pomfrey had only just managed to save Davey Gudgeon’s eye, but there was a chance that he’d never be able to see out of it again.


	18. 17th April 1972

Remus set down his book and rubbed his temples. He’d had enough of revising, the twelve uses of dragon’s blood seemed to be carved onto the inside of his skull. Marlene yawned widely and James took a photo of her with the camera his parents had sent him for his birthday. 

“James!” She whined, but seemed not to have the energy to really protest. “I’m going to bed.” She muttered, kicking his chair on the way out of the library. Remus looked across the table at Sirius who had his nose in an _Encyclopaedia of Dangerous Plants._

“What me to test you?” Remus asked him half-heartedly.

“Oh, I’m not revising.” Sirius said casually. “But I have found out how to get passed the willow’s branches.” 

“What?” James said loudly, then seeming to remember that he was in the library, repeated it in a whisper. Remus felt his heart sink. He knew what was coming.

“There’s a knot on the trunk, if we touch it we can see what’s in that passage underneath.” Sirius said.

“Flitwick did say to ‘practice, practice, practice.’” James grinned. “We’ll go tonight. We’ll use my cloak so McGonagall doesn’t catch us this time.”

“What about the girls? The cloak won’t cover eight of us.” Remus said, jumping on the excuse. A spasm of guilt flickered across James’s face but it was rapidly swallowed by the growing excitement. 

“We just won’t tell them.” He shrugged. “You’re in though right, Remus?”

Remus chewed on his lip. He could go straight to McGonagall now and warn her what James and Sirius were planning. That was what he _should_ do…but if they discovered that he’d grassed them up then they’d probably never speak to him again. He could refuse to go, they’d think he was a coward — the least of his problems right now. But he couldn’t be sure that he hadn’t left anything in the shack that would give away that he was the one causing the noises that had the villagers — thus Hogsmeade visiting students — gossiping in fearful tones. If they discovered what he was then they definitely would never speak to him again. At least if he went along, he could hide anything he might have left lying around. 

“Yeah, alright.” He muttered grimly. 

“Peter?” James asked. Peter looked at each of them, before nodding. 

They returned to the common room and waited until their fellow Gryffindors had all gone to bed before James went to fetch his cloak. Remus wondered if he could sneakily kick a suit of armour on the way, but they didn’t pass one. Sirius pushed open the great oak front door and closed it carefully behind them. It took far quicker than Remus would have liked for them to reach the tree. 

“ _Wingardium Leviosa._ ” James whispered, pointing his wand at a stick on the grass. It hovered in the air and he directed it to the knot in the trunk. The branches stilled and James pulled the cloak off of them. “Let’s go.” He said sliding down the sloped passage. The others followed him, Remus reluctantly bringing up the rear. They moved quickly, and at some point Sirius must have overtaken James because he was the first to pull himself up through the small hole at the other end. “I think this the Shrieking Shack?” James whispered, looking around the room. “Alex Carmichael was telling me about it.”

“Is that blood?” Peter whimpered, pointing at the dark stain on the wooden floor. _Yes, Peter_ , Remus thought to himself, _it's blood_. “What sort of monster lives here?” 

“Maybe a werewolf?” Sirius asked, leading them to the hallway and up the stairs. Remus was sure they’d be able to hear his heart, it was thumping so loudly. They were going to figure it out.

“No.” James said. “Everyone knows they live in the Forbidden Forest. It’s probably something Hagrid’s hiding down here. A Chimaera or a manticore, or something like that. I’ll have a look in _Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them tomorrow_ and see if anything seems likely.” Remus spotted his jumper on the floor at the foot of the four-poster and pushed it under the bed with the heel of his shoe.

“Of course, it might not even be a creature.” Sirius reasoned. “Wizards are more than capable of causing that sort of bloodshed.” 

“That’s even more disturbing.” James muttered. 

“Sirius has a point.” Remus said; it wasn’t a lie, he was right. 

“Can we go now?” Peter asked, sounding close to tears.

“Yeah.” James said, and Remus noticed that he didn’t sound nearly as confident as he usually did. “Yeah, let’s go.” They hurried back through the shack and down into the passage. Remus just hoped that what they’d seen would be enough to keep them from venturing there again. Forget catching him as a werewolf, he’d never be able to forgive himself if he hurt any of them.


	19. 16th May 1972

James nudged Sirius and pointed at Snape just ahead of them in the corridor. Sirius glanced around, then nodded when he’d checked that they were alone. 

“ _Petrificus Totalus!_ ” James shouted. Snape’s arms and legs snapped together and he swayed comically on the spot for a moment before falling face first to the floor with a thud. Sirius let out a roar of laughter. They rushed forward and hoisted Snape up, dragging him over to a broom cupboard.

“It’s alright, Snivellus.” Sirius said, as they shoved him inside while Snape looked furiously between them. “I’m sure Filch will find you in a couple of hours…maybe tomorrow if you’re really unlucky.” 

As they walked back towards the common room, James did wonder how bad Snape’s revenge might be, the greasy little prick did seem to know a disturbing amount of curses. Too late now, it was done, Snape was locked away in a cupboard and James had intention whatsoever of going to let him out.

“Widdershins.” He said to the Fat Lady before she’d even asked for the password; she swung forward and they climbed inside. James dropped down into one of the armchairs and took his Charms book out of his bag, without any real intention of revising. He felt pretty confident about these upcoming exams, well…maybe not Astronomy, but who cared about that one anyway? 

“Where did you go after dinner?” Marlene asked, siting down on the arm of his chair. James opened his mouth, about to tell her, when he spotted Lily sitting within earshot. She definitely wouldn’t like what he’d just done…though he couldn’t work out what she saw in Snape.

“Just exploring.” James said, resting his head on her lap. He half expected her to jerk her leg to shift him but instead he felt her ruffle his messy hair, it was quite a soothing action. 

“I think she fancies you, Potter!” James sat up and looked around to see who had spoken; a plump third year girl with an infuriatingly simpering voice…Becca or Bess, something like that.

“Don’t be so ridiculous.” Marlene snapped. “You might as well suggest I fancy Jeremy.”

“Yeah, but you’re not _actually_ related to Potter though, are you?” The girl giggled. “Oh, young love.”

“Leave them alone, Bertha.” Jeremy said coldly, and much to James’s surprise, Bertha shrugged and turned back to her friends. 

“Stupid bitch.” Marlene muttered under her breath. “So I’ve been chatting to Ana Scott, she pointed out that Cheryl and Monica Tyler are in their final year, that means that next year there’s going to be two Chaser spots on the team. We should start practicing for try outs now.” 

“What, right this second?” James teased, knowing that wasn’t what she meant. He pondered what the chances actually were that two second years would get picked for the team…then Ana was only a second year, and he and Marlene were really very good — Madam Hooch had even told them as much in their flying lessons.


	20. 5th June 1972

Sirius bottled up his flask of forgetfulness potion and labelled it with his name. He looked over at Lily’s caldron — her potions were always perfect — and the colour of his was slightly off…he was sure he’d added one too many mistletoe berries. He’d teased Marlene last night for cramming but she might’ve had the right idea. Oh well, there wasn’t anything he could do about it now. 

As they headed out of the dungeon he spotted Andromeda coming out of the girls bathroom. Her eyes were red and puffy.

“I’ll catch you up.” He said to James before weaving back through the crowd. If someone had upset he wanted to make it right. “Dromeda!” She looked around and groaned when she saw him.

“Go away, Sirius. I’m not in the mood.” She climbed the stairs and Sirius followed her outside into the sunshine. 

“What’s wrong?” He asked. She dropped down onto a wall out of sight of any of the castle windows and lit a cigarette with a shaking hand. He sat down beside her. “Revising for your N.E.W.Ts can’t be that bad…are they really that nastily exhausting?” 

“What?” She asked, turning her face away to exhale. He’d never seen her so distracted, so distant.

“Your exams—”

“I’m pregnant.” Andromeda whispered, cutting him off. Sirius stared at her.

“What do you mean you’re preg—”

Andromeda covered his mouth with her hand. “Keep your voice down.” She hissed furiously. She let go and took another deep drag from the cigarette. Sirius was starting to wish that he hadn’t asked, he’d been hoping that whatever was wrong would be something that he could fix, but this was so far beyond his capabilities. 

“Does Ted know?” He asked, after searching desperately around for a question so that he wasn’t just sat there like an idiot. “Is it Ted’s?”

“Of course it is.” Andromeda snapped, running her hand agitatedly though her hair as she stared out at the forest. “I haven’t told him yet.”

“Why not? He’ll be happy won’t he?” Sirius asked. Honestly, he couldn’t understand why Andromeda looked so miserable…maybe she was just scared. She started to laugh, but there was no humour in the sound.

“Sometimes I forget that you’re just a little boy.” She sighed sadly. Sirius bristled at this, he wasn’t a little boy, he was twelve! He opened his mouth to argue but closed it again, Andromeda seemed to be in the sort of mood where if he argued with her she’d just send him away; he couldn’t bear the thought of being sent away by Andromeda. “You wouldn’t understand.” She finally said. “You’re too young.” 

“Try me.” Sirius said, he _wanted_ to understand, he wanted to help.

“Alright.” Andromeda said, almost grinning but not quite seeming able to make it stick. “Ted and I are only eighteen, I know that might seem really old to you, but I can promise you, it’s not. Babies take a lot of work…time and energy, responsibility, and importantly, money. I’m going to give Ted the out, he can walk away and I won’t think any less of him for it.” She said. Sirius grit his teeth, forcing himself not to interrupt. She might not think any less of Ted, but he would. “Either way, this severely limits any career ambitions I had…and my parents will kick me out as soon as I tell them.”

“Why?” Sirius asked, but as soon as he did he realised it was a stupid question. Of course they would kick her out.

“Ted is Muggle-born. You know what they’re like, they’re like your parents. Imagine, say in seven or so years, you come home one day and tell your mum and dad that you’ve gotten — what’s her name? That little Muggle-born girl you’re friends with? Evans — Lily Evans pregnant, that the next member of the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black,” she said this scathingly, “is going to be half-blood. You think dear Uncle Orion and Aunt Walburga are going to be doting grandparents? Offering to babysit little Sirius Jr while the two of you go to work? Would you trust them not to drown him in the bath the second your back is turned? Because I wouldn’t trust either of our parents not to do that.” 

Sirius recoiled slightly at the vivid and disturbing picture that she had painted, but he knew that she was right. 

“If Ted want’s to stick around—”

“He better.” Sirius said darkly, and Andromeda gave him a sad smile.

“—it will make things a little easier, more so if his parents don’t take it too badly. But even then…” Andromeda didn’t seem to know how to continue. They watched a fox dart across the grounds and into the forest. “I wish I didn’t want this baby. My life would be so much easier if I didn’t. I’ve been trying to talk myself out of going through with it since I found out. But I alas…” She sighed. “I’m so young, and this is a very grown up mess that I’ve gotten myself into.”

“Why haven’t you told Ted yet?” Sirius asked.

“I’m going to tell him when our exams are over, I’m not putting this on him until after.” She said. “That, and I’m so in love with him. If he’s going to leave me I want to put it off for as long as I can…keep it to yourself, alright?” She added.

They sat in silence while Andromeda finished off a second cigarette, then she got up, placed a kiss on top of his head and went back inside. After a few minutes, Sirius followed. He walked right passed the Great Hall, no longer feeling hungry. He didn’t notice Snape in the Entrance Hall until a whooshing sensation grazed his left ear as he climbed the marble staircase.

“ _Expelliarmus!_ ” He bellowed, spinning around. “ _Flipendo!_ ” Snape flew backwards, hitting the Entrance Hall wall. Sirius was breathing heavily as he descended back down the staircase, wand still raised, ready to pour all of his anger and frustration, all of his helplessness over Andromeda’s situation, into hurting Snape.

“Black! What are you doing?” McGonagall shouted, he recognised the question as rhetorical. “Twenty points from Gryffindor! Now get back to Gryffindor Tower before I put you in detention as well.” 

Still seething, Sirius returned to the common room. He should revise for Defence Against the Dark Arts tomorrow but his mind was swimming with worries far beyond his years.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I know we all know that smoking is a stupid thing to do when you're pregnant, but this was 1972.


	21. 14th June 1972

“Black, come with me!” McGonagall called. Sirius groaned, what had he done now? Actually, the list was fairly long, but he’d thought he’d gotten away with a fair amount of it. He’d been intending to go and sit in the common room, it was a beautifully sunny day so most of the school seemed to be out on the grounds; he probably would have had Gryffindor Tower all to himself. Sirius followed McGonagall gloomily to her office; she gestured at the chair opposite her desk, and sat in her own. Sirius threw himself down and waited for the lecture. 

“What’s wrong?” She asked brusquely.

“Professor?”

“You are lacking your usual gusto. You’ve been walking around for more than a week with miserable look on your face. At first I assumed that you were stressed about your exams, but those are over now. Why aren’t you outside with your classmates, enjoying the sunshine?”

“Oh.” Sirius said non-committally, aware that it wasn’t an answer to her question. The company of his friends — asking him what was wrong when he hardly understood the answer himself — was the last thing he wanted right now. It certainly wasn’t that he was concerned about his exams, he actually thought he might have done pretty well, all things considered. He was far more worried about Andromeda, not that he was going to tell McGonagall about _that_ …Andromeda would never confide in him again. That worry for her, however, seemed to be combining with an aching sadness in his heart — a sadness that was far harder to explain. After all, this had been the happiest year of his whole life. 

“What is it, Sirius?” She asked gently. The sudden softness in her tone was so jarring that it snapped him right out of his preoccupation. 

“I’m fine.” He said, though his voice didn’t quite sound like his own. 

“Well my door is always open if you wish to talk…or would just like somewhere to sit quietly with your thoughts.” She said. “And if it cheers you up at all, while your results won’t be released just yet, my colleagues have spoken very highly of your performance in the exams. As for Transfiguration, you have achieved the highest grade that I have ever given a first year student in my entire career.” 

Sirius tried to smile, this _should_ have cheered him up…and it did, he supposed, sort of. It didn’t get rid of the crushing weight in his chest though. “Professor, do you think I could sit in here for a bit now?” 

“Of course.” She said, opening the tartan biscuit tin and conjuring up a teapot and cups. “Help yourself.” She added before passing him a copy of _Transfiguration Today_. She picked up an essay from the stack of exams on her desk and began to read, occasionally making notes in the margins. Sirius, still hardly able to believe he wasn’t getting shouted at for one of his numerous infractions, poured himself a cup of tea — adding milk and two heaped teaspoons of sugar — and selected a Ginger Newt from the tin. He thought he might have noticed the the corner of McGonagall’s lip twitch upwards in a smile, but was gone too quickly for him to be sure.


	22. 30th June 1972

“Cheer up, Sirius.” Marlene said as she waited in the Entrance Hall with the other first years for Hagrid to arrive and lead them down to the boats that would take them back to Hogsmeade station. “We’ll be back here soon enough. I’ll write to you…and I’ll makes sure James remembers to as well.” 

“I don’t need reminding to write to my friend, I’m not a child.” James snapped…childishly. 

“Yeah.” Sirius muttered, she wasn’t sure he’d even heard her. She followed his gaze to Andromeda and Ted stood on the marble staircase. Ted had both of her hands in his and he seemed to be whispering urgently in her ear. 

“Is Andromeda okay?” Marlene asked, Sirius shook his head before turning back to Marlene with a poorly forced smile. 

“So have you got any plans for summer?” He asked.

“I— Yeah, Lily has invited me to stay for a couple weeks. I’ve never stayed with Muggles before, I’m quite excited.” Marlene grinned. 

“I really think you’re going to be disappointed.” Lily laughed, pulling her long red hair up into a high ponytail. “How about you?”

“Oh, I’ll be covering my room with that Gryffindor stuff you all got me and doing everything I can to annoy my parents.” He said, his smile looking slightly more real that it had done before. “Dorcas?”

“I’m going to try and convince my parents to take them to work with them everyday.” She shrugged. The all stared at her; sure the Ministry could be a fun place to go once in a while, but to go there all day everyday? She couldn’t think of a worse way to spend the summer holidays.

“You had _all_ better write.” Mary said. “Most of us don’t have the luxury of siblings.”

McGonagall moved among them, handing out notes reminding them that they were forbidden from using magic outside of school. 

“I wish we could use magic at home, I want to show my parents what I’ve learnt.” Lily muttered, looking down miserably at the note. 

“ _You_ can’t use magic at home, the rest of us, however, can.” Sirius grinned. 

“Sirius, be nice.” Remus warned, using the note to mark the page of his book and stowing it in his bag.

“What do you mean?” Lily frowned.

“Dromeda was telling me how the Trace works…or I guess I should say, doesn’t work. I think the Ministry can tell when magic is used around an underage wizard, but they can’t tell who performed the spell. You’re the only witch in your house, so they’ll know it’s you. The rest of us though…” He trailed off with a smirk. 

“Well that’s not fair!” Lily gasped. 

“I wouldn’t worry, Evans.” James muttered glumly, looking down at his note. “I’m not sure my Mum and Dad will let me use magic at home. Marley’s parents definitely won’t.” 

They watched together as a mass of carriages crossed the lawn towards the castle, and though they did not know it yet, it would be the only time all eight of these young Gryffindors would stand side by side and see them as horseless.


	23. 9th July 1972

As Dorcas was crossing the landing back to her bedroom there was a blast from downstairs like an explosion. She screamed, ducking instinctively. Her father’s hand closed around her’s and he was pulling her back to her feet and into her parents’ bedroom. Shouts echoed from downstairs; screams and curses; a woman’s cackling laughter. Matthew pushed Dorcas hastily into the wardrobe. 

“What ever you hear, what ever you see, I need you to stay silent and stay hidden.” Matthew whispered.

“Dad no, let me help you.” Dorcas begged, she could run and get her wand, her bedroom was just across the hall. Or he could summon it for her.

“Dorcas, this is not a discussion.” He hissed. She could hear the creak of footsteps on the stairs. “I love you so much.” He pressed his lips to her forehead for a moment and she could feel his tears dripping onto her cheeks. Matthew stood, closed the door and turned, ready to face them. Dorcas watched him through the slats in the wardrobe door; he was gripping his wand so tightly that she thought the veins in his forearm might burst through his skin. Four Death Eaters entered the room, Matthew moved faster than Dorcas ever could have imagined, deflecting the curses. Spells shattered the mirror, destroyed the vanity, blasted holes in the walls. She had her hand pressed so tight to her mouth that her fingernails were cutting into her cheek. A jet of green light hit Matthew square in the chest and Dorcas’s whole world crumbled around her. She couldn’t move, she couldn’t think. The laughter of the Death Eaters was still ringing in her ears long after they had left and the light from the Dark Mark cast the room in a sickly green glow. 

Eventually Dorcas managed to push open the wardrobe door. She stumbled forwards, falling to her knees at her father’s side. “Daddy?” She whispered. His dead eyes were staring, unseeing, at the ceiling. She clutched the the front of his robes and let out a shriek of anguish, what was she supposed to do without him? 

_Mum._

The voice in the back of her head seemed to instil some feeling back into her legs. She bolted down the stairs, passing a dead Death Eater in the dining room, to where her mother lay sprawled out on the kitchen floor. That same blank expression on her face. Dorcas screamed, and then again, and then once she started she couldn’t stop. The noises seemed disconnected from her own body, like they were coming from someone else. 

A pair of arms clutched her so tightly from behind that she could hardly move. “Come away, Dorcas.” Alastor growled in her ear. There was something so solidly comforting about Alastor Moody’s presence. He would make everything okay. He would take care of her. Her parents had always said that…said that if anything ever happened to them, then Alastor would keep her safe. 

“I didn’t help them. I just hid.” Dorcas sobbed, as he turned her away from her mother’s body. 

“It’s alright, you did the right thing.” Alastor said, trying to brush the tears off of her cheeks with his thumbs, his own face contorted with grief. “Are you hurt?” It took Dorcas a moment to realise what he meant. She was in agony. But when she didn’t answer he started patting her down; she realised he was checking her for injuries.

“I’m—” She tried to say “fine” but the word got stuck on her tongue. She settled for shaking her head. 

“Hold tight onto my arm.” Alastor growled.

Dorcas knew that she was apparating, what else could they be doing? And at any other time she might find the odd constricting sensation remarkable, but she’d already been finding it hard to breathe. She’d already felt like the whole world was crushing in on her. This was nothing compared to the all consuming, monumental loss that had overtaken every part of her soul; drowning her in grief. The great intake of air to her lungs as they appeared in front of Alastor’s front door brought her no relief. The stones of his front path were uncomfortable under her bare feet. She tugged, distractedly, at the sleeves of her Bagstone Badgers pyjamas; they were slightly too short at the wrists and ankles now where she had grown a bit over the school year. Alastor gripped her elbow and led her inside — stopping briefly for a small potion bottle in the kitchen — and up two flights of stairs to a little bedroom on the second floor. He helped her into bed and smoothed down the covers, before sitting on the edge. 

“Tell me what happened.” He urged. 

“I don’t know.” Dorcas whispered, the details of that night seemed to be slipping away from her as though they were water that she was trying to cup in her hands. All she knew was that her parents were gone. She closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose. “I heard a bang from downstairs. Dad pushed me into the wardrobe.” She could feel tears rolling down her face again. “He told me to stay quiet…and that he loved me….four Death Eaters came upstairs…one of them killed him but they were all wearing masks.” She choked. Alastor face was white as he unstoppered the little potion bottle with shaking hands. “What’s going to happen to me?”

“That’s up to you. Your parents asked me to be your guardian should anything happen to them, but if you’d rather go somewhere else then I can make other arrangements.” Alastor said. He didn’t understand, that hadn’t been what she was asking. 

“No. I mean…I let them kill my parents. I didn’t _do_ anything. What’s going to happen to me?”

Dorcas watched his heart break, she could see it on his face. “You think you should be punished for what happened tonight? Dorcas, no.” He said gruffly. “Drink this.” He pressed the bottle into her hand. “It’ll put you right to sleep. Stop you having nightmares. We’ll talk more when you’ve had some rest.” 

Dorcas gulped down the potion, hindered slightly by the tightness in her throat. She slid further down into the duvet and Alastor tucked her in; his expression an age away. 

“They were my favourite people.” Dorcas mumbled drowsily. She thought she might have heard Alastor say ‘mine too’ as sleep pulled her under.


	24. 10th July 1972

_AUROR COUPLE MURDERED IN BRISTOL HOME_

Sirius looked at the two photographs on the front of that morning’s Daily Prophet, a sinking sensation in his stomach. As he began to read the article, his fears were confirmed.

_At around 11pm yesterday evening five of He Who Must Not Be Named’s supporters stormed the home of celebrated Aurors, Sophia and Matthew Meadowes, aged 45 and 42, respectively—_

Sirius was distracted from the article by his Aunt Druella stepping out of the flames of the kitchen fire. 

“Your mother?” She asked, snapping her fingers and dusting soot off her robes, looking incredibly agitated. 

“In the drawing room, I think.” Sirius said, and she stormed passed him up the kitchen stairs. He had a horrible feeling what this might be about, so, giving her a little bit of a head start, he folded the paper and followed her up. He slipped into the parlour opposite and left door ajar to listen. 

“—pregnant! With some filthy little Mudblood’s spawn! The shame of it Walburga, you can’t imagine! My daughter let some vile Muggle boy touch her. What am I going to do? Your brother has taken to his bed from the humiliation of it! Bella is tending to him now…such a good girl, _she’s_ courting one of the Lestrange boys, why couldn’t Andromeda follow her example?” Druella wailed. Sirius grit his teeth, his hands shaking as he gripped the paper. “Help us.” His aunt pleaded. 

“Druella, dear, stop fretting. Andromeda has made a mistake but we can rectify it for her. We’ll put an end to this pregnancy business, and find a nice pure-blood man for her to marry — Amycus Carrow or Gordon Travers, I believe they’re both unattached — someone who will keep her out of trouble.” Walburga soothed. Sirius’s heart was pounding. Andromeda had told him that she’d wanted this baby, whether Ted intended to have anything to do with them or not. But it didn’t seem like their family was going to give her that choice. Tossing the paper aside he crept back down to the kitchen, threw a handful of Floo powder into the fire, and knelt with his head in the flames. It was the most bizarre sensation that he had ever felt in his life. 

“Dromeda!” He called when his head stopped in their living room. Narcissa, seated on one of the velvet sofas, looked up from her Arithmancy book.

“She’s in her room.” She said. Sirius looked around, Narcissa and his head were quite alone. 

“Can you get her for me?” Sirius asked. 

“Why?” 

Sirius swore loudly, he didn’t have time for this right now, he was sure he could only have a few minutes. “Narcissa please.” He begged. He was going to have to take a leap, trust the part of her that he was sure was still buried beneath the ever growing obsession with blood purity. “I heard our mothers talking, they aren’t going to let Dromeda keep this baby. You’ve got to help her. You’ve got to warn her. Tell her that she needs to run, now. I know you don’t agree with us on a lot, I know you don’t think Ted is worth anything, but you must see that this is unspeakably cruel. She’s your sister.” The look that Narcissa gave him tugged at his heart. He felt like he was four years old again, back when she was his best friend in the whole world…but as quickly as it had appeared, it had gone, and her expression was impassive. “Please, Narcissa. They’re going to _force_ her to get rid of that baby, I know you’re not so cold that you can’t recognise that as barbaric. _She’s your sister!_ ” He was desperate now. He was sure he could hear his mother and aunt on the kitchen stairs. “If the situation were reversed she’d do anything to protect you. You _know_ she would.” 

“I’ll take care of it.” Narcissa finally said, jumping to her feet and sweeping her hair over her shoulder. “Don’t worry, Sirius. I’ll take care of it.” She hurried from the room and Sirius wrenched his head out of the fire. 

“Who were you talking to?” His mother asked. Sirius turned, the two women had been stood right behind him. 

“James Potter.” Sirius lied quickly. “A friend I made at school.” Druella raised her eyebrows.

“Potter sounds like a Muggle name.” She said coldly.

“Not necessarily, Dru, my Aunt Dorea married a Potter.” Walbuga reasoned. “Is your new friend pure-blood?” Sirius nodded, biting his tongue to stop himself pointing out that he was possibly the only one of his new friends that was. 

“Listen, Aunt Dru, I know Ted. He’s really nice, and he and Dromeda love each other so much. Don’t do this to her.” Sirius pleaded.

“I will not have my line tainted by some filthy Mudblood.” Druella hissed. 

“Better Muggle-born than the vile hatred that you’re all—” Druella slapped him hard across the face. Sirius stumbled, catching himself on a kitchen chair. He righted himself quickly, his cheek stinging painfully.

“Go to your room.” Walburga ordered. But Sirius glared at her, standing his ground. He needed to give Andromeda and Narcissa as much time as he could. Druella slapped him again but this time he was braced for it. “Are you deaf, boy?” Walburga snapped, seizing him by the back of his t-shirt and shoving him towards the kitchen door. “And change into some robes. You bring me such shame, I won’t have you dressing like a Muggle in this house.” 

Sirius returned to his room but did not change. All he could do now was wait and hope. Hours later, there was a tap on his bedroom window. Sirius shot up from the bed and hurried to let the owl in. It dropped a note onto his desk and flew back out again. The note, written by Narcissa, simply said one word: _Safe._


	25. 27th July 1972

It was freezing in his parents’ basement, and his skin felt raw beneath the chains. Remus understood why his father felt that they’d been necessary. He’d been so much stronger when he’d come home at Christmas, and it had been months since they’d last seen him. His father was scared that he would break out of the basement. Remus hated that people were scared of him, though they certainly had good reason. The door opened and his mother and father hurried down the steps.

“Take them off of him, Lyall.” Hope demanded, kneeling in front of him and brushing his fringe off of his face.

Lyall tapped the chains with his wand and they fell away. Remus threw himself into his mother’s arms and she wrapped him tightly in a blanket; holding him close. 

“Mummy.” He sobbed against her shoulder, he sounded like a child but right now he didn’t care. He’d had enough of trying to be strong, he’d had enough of telling himself to grow up, to stop crying. It was such a relief to be held; he’d been so terribly alone in the mornings after his transformations at school. “It hurts.” 

“My sweet, brave boy.” She whispered into his hair as she rubbed his back. She was so soft, so warm. “Your dad will heal you up nice and quick.” She soothed. “He’s been practicing, he’s gotten very good. Better than he used to be.” Remus let her chat away, listening more to the timbre of her voice rather than what she was saying. Having his mother’s arms around him was _almost_ enough to keep him from going back to school. “My baby, I’m so sorry, I’m so, so sorry.” He didn’t know why she was apologising, she had nothing to be sorry for. If he wasn’t such a monster this wouldn’t be necessary. 

“I’ll run you a nice hot bath, son.” Lyall murmured. Hope began to hum softly and Remus breathed her in, twisting a lock of her hair around his fingers the way he used to do when he was small. 

“I’m a monster.” He whispered. Her arms tightened around him considerably.

“Don’t you dare.” Hope said, her voice strained. “You know, after you were bitten, people would talk about you in the past tense…‘he _was_ such a sweet boy’; ‘oh, Mrs Lupin, _wasn’t_ he such a kind boy?’; one healer at St Mungo’s even had audacity to tell me that she was sorry for my loss — talking about you like you had died. They didn’t understand. You _are_ a sweet boy, you _are_ a kind and loving boy. I would get so angry, I still get so angry. _You are my son_ and I am so proud of you. How dare they talk about you like that. I need you to hear me, Remus, you are my child and there is nothing in the world that you could ever do that would stop me loving you. _Nobody_ is allowed to call you a monster, not even you.”

Remus didn’t know what to say; his heart was going to burst.


	26. 12th August 1972

It was a hot August afternoon, the hottest Mary could remember it being in a while, and the bustle of Diagon Alley didn’t help matters. She noticed Sirius sat with Florence Fortescue; she liked Florence herself, but it was hardly like Sirius to make nice with the Slytherins in their year. 

“I’ve just spotted a friend, can I catch you up?” She asked her parents.

“Of course, sweetheart.” Malcom smiled, at the same time that Katherine said ‘Absolutely not.’ “Katie, be reasonable! You’ve hardly let her outside all summer.”

“It’s too dangerous.” Katherine said. 

“We’re in the middle of Diagon Alley. Go on, Mary, we’ll get your books."

“Don’t be long. Don’t go too far. Don’t talk to anyone that you don’t know!” Katherine called. Mary sighed, her mother was insane, treating her like she was six not twelve. She weaved her way through the crowd to Florean Fortescue’s Ice-Cream Parlour. 

“Hi Mary.” Florence smiled. “Do you want an ice cream?” 

“It’s okay, I can’t stay long.” Mary said.

“Florence, take over for half an hour.” Called a voice from inside, and Florence rolled her eyes.

“Coming, Uncle Florean!” Florence got up and went into the shop. Mary took her seat. 

“Fraternising with a Slytherin?” She teased, picking up Sirius spoon and stealing a bite of his sundae. 

“She gave me a free sundae.” Sirius shrugged. Well of course, free food, it was understandable now.

“Why is it that the richest people get all the free stuff?” 

“Rich _and_ handsome, don’t forget handsome.” Sirius smirked, but then his expression turned sombre. “Have you heard from Dorcas?”

“Yeah.” Mary murmured. “She’s living with a friend of her parents, but her grandparents are really angry that she’s not with them. They’ve written to the Ministry, to Dumbledore too, she told me. She wants to stay were she is, but her letters…it’s breaking her heart.”

“What are they playing at? Like she needs to be dealing with all that _now_.” Sirius hissed, pushing away his sundae and running a hand through his hair. 

“Did Andromeda really get married the other day?” Mary asked, she’d been intending to lighten the conversation but Sirius slumped back in his chair and looked up at the pink and white umbrella above their heads.

“Apparently.” He said carefully.

“You didn’t go to the wedding?” Mary didn’t understand, he and Andromeda seemed so close. 

“I wasn’t invited.” He ground out, then looked at her rather guiltily. “I didn’t mean it like that. There wasn’t really time. She got married in such a rush. Our family doesn’t approve of Ted, see. They washed their hands of her last night. Blasted her off the family tree…literally.” Sirius said, rubbing his upper arm and watching a wasp crawling across the surface of the table. “My father brought me and Reggie here to get our school things, Mother-dearest couldn’t face the shame of being out in public now that her niece has married a Muggle-born. Have you ever heard anything so ridiculous?” 

“Sirius, we’re leaving!” Mary looked around to see Mr Black stood on the other side of the busy street beside a boy who was considerably less good looking that Sirius. She glanced back at him, Sirius seemed to have folded in on himself.

“See you on the train.” He mumbled as he left. Mary watched him sadly, he seemed so miserable, even more so than he had done in those last few weeks of term.


	27. 1st September 1972

Dorcas stowed her truck in one of the carriages and stepped back on to the platform. She was in no rush to go and find her friends, how was she supposed to have a conversation with them? There was an aching hole in her life that none of them could possibly comprehend. 

“Have a good term.” Alastor said, giving her shoulder a brief, tight squeeze. 

Dorcas hesitated for a moment before she threw her arms around his waist. “Thank you.” She mumbled, more grateful to him than she could ever put into words. 

Alastor froze; he was hardly the most tactile of people, but after he seemed to recover somewhat from the shock of being hugged so suddenly, he folded Dorcas into his arms — patting her back a little awkwardly. “Alight, get on the train. I’ll see you at Christmas.” He said gruffly, his voice sounding thinker than it had a moment ago. Dorcas let go of him and boarded the train, but when she looked back to wave at him, his back was turned. Sighing, she wandered down the carriage until she reached a compartment with James and Marlene and took a seat. 

“Hi.” Marlene said in a tentative voice. “Are you—”

“I’m fine.” Dorcas lied quickly, she really didn’t want to talk about her parents. 

“Who was that man with you on the platform?” James asked, looking out of the window to where she figured Alastor was still stood. 

“Alastor Moody. I’ve been living with him since…you know.” She mumbled. 

“Alastor Moody, the Auror?” Marlene asked incredulously. “Isn’t he a bit…” She trailed off when Dorcas raised her eyebrows, whatever adjective she’d been intending to use, Dorcas didn’t want to hear it. Alastor had taken her in, and held on tight so that she didn’t float away into the endless expanse of her grief.

“He was a friend of my parents. They asked him to look after me if anything…” Dorcas shrugged, wishing that they would just drop the subject. The compartment door slid open and they were joined by Sirius and Remus. Sirius stared at her, chewing on his lip for a moment, but Remus pushed passed him and sat beside her. 

“What?” She asked Sirius bluntly. She wished they would all stop acting so weird; she wasn’t some spectacle to be goggled at. Couldn’t they go and find some other parentless student to gape at? She doubted that she was the only one. 

“Nothing, sorry.” Sirius said, sitting down between James and Marlene. The train began to move, and Dorcas switched seats with Remus so that she could stare out of the window. She listened to her friends discuss their summers, whether the rumours were true that Professor Russell wasn’t returning this year, what James and Marlene’s chances were of getting on the Gryffindor Quidditch team. She was relived that they didn’t try to prompt her to take part in the conversation. Eventually they were joined by Mary and Peter too, only Lily was missing…Dorcas supposed she’d chosen to sit with Severus.

“Did you see it happen? Your parents, I mean.” Peter asked her. The silence in the compartment was deafening. The air around them stilled completely. Dorcas thought for a moment that she could actually hear sound of her father’s body hitting the floor, and her eyes burned. James stood up and punched Peter so hard in the stomach that she was sure they had all felt it. Winded, Peter slid out of his seat.

“Does anyone know when this year we have to select our third year subjects?” Mary asked in a falsely cheerful voice. 

It began to rain as they travelled further north, and when the train began to slow, pulling into Hogsmeade Station they all scrambled to gather their belongings. Outside in the miserable, drizzly evening they were swept up along with the throng of their fellow students. Remus closed his hand around her wrist to keep her from getting lost among the crowd and Dorcas was filled with such a wave of gratitude and affection at the gesture that she thought it might spill right over. They exited the platform and she came face to face with the most terrifying horse she had ever seen. Its eyes shone, dead and white, it coat was stretched taught across its bones and it adjusted its large leathery wings menacingly. There were too many of them to count, ready to pull the carriages that would take them to the castle. 

“What are you staring at?” Remus asked, looking back at her as he climbed into the carriage. 

“The…horse.” Dorcas said, finding it very hard to look away.

“What horse?” There was something in his tone, a concern quite unlike the concern she’d been hearing from people all summer. “There’s nothing there.” Dorcas tore her eyes away from the beast her heart pounding. Was she loosing her mind? If it had been any of them but Remus she would have thought that they were messing with her — she could definitely see James or Sirius playing that joke on her — but _Remus_ wouldn’t do that. “Maybe you should go to Madam Pomfrey after the feast.” He whispered as she climbed in beside him. She shook her head, she would write to Alastor…though he’d probably put her in St Mungo’s.


	28. 4th September 1972

James buttered himself a slice of toast and stifled a yawn into his shoulder. It was his own fault he was so tired — he shouldn’t be, they’d arrived on a Friday which meant they’d had the whole weekend before lessons started — but he’d snuck out with Sirius to explore last night.

“You’re not allowed to be yawning already.” Marlene said, pouring herself a glass of orange juice. “We need to get back out on our brooms later…I will join the team without you if I get picked on Friday evening.” 

“No you won’t.” James said, biting into his toast with a grin. Marlene gave him a dirty look and turned away to talk to Lily. McGonagall moved along the table handing out timetables and James looked down at his; they had Defence Against the Dark Arts first, it shouldn’t be a bad way to start things off but they had it with the Slytherins this year. “Have you seen this?” He demanded, thrusting the timetable under Sirius’s nose. Sirius pushed James’s hand aside and looked down at his own timetable. 

“Shame about Professor Russell, I liked her. Where is Ilvermorny, anyway?” Peter asked.

“America. Massachusetts, I think.” Mary said. 

“At least she was fun, this Lamot bloke looks about as entertaining as Binns.” Sirius said, glancing up at the staff table. 

“He used to work at the Ministry. Department of Magical Law Enforcement.” Dorcas said quietly. James looked around, she’d barely said a word all weekend. “He was asked to resign, but I don’t know why.”

“An Auror?” Lily asked, nervously meeting James’s eyes; they were all walking on eggshells, unsure whether it was untactful to bring up anything even tangentially related to Dorcas’s parents. Dorcas’s lips curled into a slight smile.

“He wishes. He was a member of the Magical Law Enforcement Squad. He applied to be an Auror quite a few times I think but never got accepted…My parents—” Dorcas paused, seeming to struggle with her words. “They never thought much of him. Alastor can’t stand him.” 

After breakfast, James and his fellow Gryffindors headed upstairs to their Defence Against the Dark Arts classroom. Lamot was already waiting for them, seated behind his desk. He took the register and when he reached Dorcas’s name he stopped to tell her how sorry he was for her loss. She shifted uncomfortably in her seat and mumbled a quiet ‘thanks’. James wasn’t sure if the discomfort came from the fact that she’d been gossiping about him, or that she didn’t really seem to like people offering her condolences. 

“It’s very nice to meet you all.” Lamot said; his voice could definitely rival Binns’s. James was sure that this was about to go from their most exciting subject to their dullest. “In the first term I will be taking you through some of the beasts that He Who Must Not Be Named is thought to be using, and in our second term we will discuss some of the curses that you might have seen in the papers lately.” James saw Dorcas flinch, and felt a deep wave of sympathy for her; forget reading about them in the papers, she’d seen one right up close in the most horrifying way imaginable. “First, werewolves. There are several members of the wizarding community that dangerously underestimate the threat these creatures pose— Yes, Miss…” Lily’s hand had shot up in the air.

“Evans. They’re wizards. They’re not creatures, they’re witches and wizards, aren’t they?” Lily asked.

“We will cover that debate, however I am of the opinion that they are beasts rather than people.” Lamot said. James frowned, that seemed rather harsh. “Professor Emerett Picardy has stated in his book _Lupine Lawlessness: Why Lycanthropes Don’t Deserve to Live_ that the once bitten the victim loses all of their humanity, even while in human form they cannot distinguish right from wrong. It’s tragic, but you mustn’t become complacent about this threat to our safety and society.”

James glanced around — surely his classmates weren’t buying this — and his eyes fell on Remus; his back was rigid, his face white as he looked down at his parchment, and he was pressing down so hard with his quill that the tip had snapped.

 _Oh._

Suddenly it all made sense, his absences, his injuries, the house at the end of the Whomping Willow, how ill he looked either side of a full moon…James couldn’t believe that he hadn’t seen it before.

_Oh, shit._

James kicked the leg of Sirius’s chair and inclined his head ever so slightly in Remus’s direction. He watched as the pieces fell together on Sirius’s face, before it set in cold fury. James felt the same way, Lamot was going on like werewolves were evil, but Remus was so _good_ that it was almost sickening. 

“Well this Picardy is chatting shit then isn’t he!” James snapped loudly. 

“Detention tomorrow night, Mr…”

“Potter.” James seethed.

“I won’t allow swearing in this classroom.” Lamot said softly. “I’m sure after a few lessons you’ll all have a more sensible view on werewolves.”


	29. 4th September 1972 .II

Remus had bolted from the Defence Against the Dark Arts classroom as soon as the bell rang, and James hadn’t seen him for the rest of the day. As soon as they were away from the girls, he and Sirius started to make a plan…Peter hadn’t even clocked it himself, they'd had to spell it out of him. 

Sirius wanted to go and find Remus right after dinner, but James needed to go out and practice with Marlene…she’d demand to know why if he refused. He shook her off in the Entrance Hall afterwards when he spotted Sirius and Peter waiting for him.

“He’s probably in the library.” Sirius said. “That’s where he always is.”

They didn’t make it that far, however, they saw him walking along a first floor corridor. “Remus!” James called. Remus froze as they hurried over, he looked like he wanted to run again.

“Don’t even think about it.” Sirius grabbed his arm and pushed him into a classroom, maybe a little too aggressively. 

“We know.” James said, as Peter closed the door behind them. Remus backed away, bumping into the desks. “We know and we don’t care.” 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Remus said faintly, his face was deathly white, and he seemed to sway slightly on the spot.

“We know that you’re a werewolf.” Peter said, and James had to bite back a smirk. The ‘we’ was a little bit rich coming form Peter. 

“Why didn’t you tell us, mate?” Sirius asked, his voice mercifully softer than it had been before. Remus opened his mouth and closed it again, he turned his back to them, gripping the edges of the desk.

“You heard Lamot today, and that’s hardly the minority opinion…I’ve never had friends before, I was scared that you would see me like that.” Remus whispered. The title of the book that Lamot had mentioned rang in his ears and James felt sick. 

“It doesn’t change anything. We still like you, we don’t think werewolves are bad…I mean you’re a much better person than me and James put together.” Sirius said. 

“You can’t tell anyone.” Remus pleaded, he sounded so desperate, so terrified. 

“Of course we won’t.” James promised. He hated keeping things from Marley, and he knew that it would never change her opinion of Remus, but this wasn’t his secret to tell. 

“Do the teachers know?” Peter asked.

“Dumbledore, the heads of houses, and Madam Pomfrey.” Remus said, his voice sounding very constricted. 

“There’s no way Dumbledore would have hired Lamot if he knew that was the nonsense he was going to be spouting.” James muttered, surely he would never knowingly make a student sit through what Remus had today. Remus let out a cold laugh.

“That’s how most people think…Dumbledore, McGonagall…they’re the exception, not the rule.” Remus mumbled. “You— you really don’t care?” There was such a heartbreaking trace of hope in his voice that James felt winded.

“No, we don’t care. And we’re going to help you.” Sirius said. “We’re going to divide classes up for when you’re ill either side. That way you can just sit back and relax, or go to the hospital wing if you want. Peter'll concentrate on Potions and Astronomy, James is going to take Charms — obviously, and Herbology, and I’ve got Defence Against the Dark Arts — though that’ll be a waste of time this year, History of Magic and Transfiguration. We’ll make sure our notes are up to the Remus Lupin Standard.” 

“You hate History of Magic and you don’t take proper notes in Transfiguration, Sirius, you said you don’t need them.” Remus mumbled.

“Yeah, but you like very detailed notes to revise from.” James said. “We don’t want you to have to worry that you’re missing something.”

Remus’s shoulders began to shake, and James realised with a twinge of horror, that he was crying. He and Sirius exchanged an uncomfortable look, each mouthing ‘you go’ to the other. After a moment the three of them closed the rest of the distance and rather awkwardly wrapped their arms around him.


	30. 8th September 1972

Marlene and James reentered the common room to cheers and congratulations from most of their fellow Gryffindors. There were certainly some that seemed a little skeptical about the ability of two second years to play Chaser…it had been different with Ana last year, she had been joining two very experienced Chasers. Now though, the more skeptical Gryffindors were arguing that nearly half the team looked _very young_. Marlene supposed that they’d just have to prove them wrong in the match against Slytherin in November. James went over to join their fellow second years. 

“No Lily?” Marlene asked, looking around. 

“I think she’s upstairs.” Dorcas said, sliding over to make room for James. Marlene weaved her way through the crowd in the common room and went up to their dormitory. Lily was stood in the middle of the room standing on the tips of her ballet shoes, her legs looked a little wobbly but it was still pretty impressive. 

“How do you do that?” Marlene asked. Lily jumped and stumbled forwards.

“Practice, and I definitely need more of it.” Lily laughed, lifting herself back onto her toes. Marlene kicked her boots of and tried to copy her — wincing at the crushing feeling in her toes — but Lily threw her scarf at her. “Stop it, you’re going to hurt yourself! For one thing you don’t even have pointe shoes on!” 

“Okay, okay.” Marlene muttered, sitting down on the bed. “I got on the team, though!” She grinned. 

“That’s great.” Lily murmured, checking her posture in the mirror. 

“No please, don’t sound so excited, it’s embarrassing.” Marlene said, shaking her head. 

“Sorry Marley, Quidditch is just not as _good_ as football!” She shrugged. Marlene threw the scarf back at her. 

“You’re insane, football is rubbish! There’s only one ball! And they have to stay on the ground!” Marlene said; she’d given it a chance, she’d watched some of it on the television-thingy with Lily’s family, but it had just been so boring. “And it doesn’t even make sense.”

“You’re right, Marlene, how silly of me. Football is a really complicated sport compared to the very easy to follow game of Quidditch.” Lily said sarcastically. Marlene grinned, she supposed she had a point. 

“Come downstairs, we’re celebrating.”

“I’m supposed to be practicing…I’ve got to stay on top of this myself, it’s not like I’m going to class three nights a week anymore.” Lily said.

“Yeah, and I’m supposed to be doing homework, but we have all weekend.” Marlene jumped up and grabbed hold of Lily’s hand, pulling her towards the door. She rolled her eyes and followed. They sat down with the others and Marlene reached across the table for a Butterbeer. “What are you reading, Remus?”

It was Lily that answered, however. “ _Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland_.” She said, untying the ribbons of her shoes and kicking them off. 

“My mum used to read it to me when I was a little boy.” Remus shrugged, marking his page and setting the book down.

“Mine too.” Lily smiled, picking the book up and flicking through it. “I can't remember, is it this one or the next now that has the ‘Jabberwocky’?” She asked. Marlene caught Sirius’s eye and he shrugged. Between them Lily and Remus seemed to have brought a whole Muggle library with them, and Marlene was rather curious.

“The next one.”

“I love that poem so much— Potter, stop staring at my feet.” She said, quickly tucking them up underneath her. 

“What have you done to them?” He frowned. Marlene had gotten used to seeing Lily’s feet all red and marked; the shock had worn off. 

“Ballet all summer, they get a little battered.” Lily explained. “You should see the feet of the older dancers, this is nothing yet.” 

“Would it be alright if I borrowed it after you’ve finished?” Marlene asked Remus. “I promise I’ll be careful with it.” It did look like a very worn copy, liable to fall apart at any moment.

“Yeah of course. It’s a great book.” Remus said, sounding rather pleased.


	31. 22nd September 1972

Marlene had made a galant attempt of concentration in double History of Magic but they were an hour in now and she just couldn’t make herself care about the Medieval Assembly of European Wizards. Binns didn’t even seem to notice if people didn’t pay attention in his class, so she turned around in her seat to engage Sirius in a whispered conversation.

“Not now, Marley.” He muttered, not looking up at her as he furiously jotted down everything Binns said. Marlene frowned, feeling more hurt than she cared to admit. Since when had Sirius ever been interested in anything that Binns had to say? She turned back around sulkily. James waved a scrap of parchment at her marked out for a game of Hangman, and they spent the rest of the class spelling out insults against Snape.

“Sorry about that.” Sirius said, as they filed out of the classroom when the bell rang.

“It’s fine.” Marlene said, a little colder that she _really_ meant it to be. She just wasn’t used to being ignored, and Sirius’s undivided attention when she requested it was something that she had started to take for granted. Sirius definitely seemed to have heard the coolness, because he was being extra chatty with her as they ate lunch. To try and ease some of his guilt, she mustered up a warm smile as he offered her a bread roll from the basket…after all, she was the one who had been overreacting. “I’m going to be borrowing your notes to revise from as you’re so dead set on becoming such an expert on medieval assemblies.” She said.

“Well you’re going to have to, I’m not sure spelling out ‘Snivellus is a bellend’ is going to help you much. It’s a historical fact, sure, but I don’t think Binns'll include it in the exam.” Sirius grinned, snatching the parchment out of her bag.

“Marlene!” Lily snapped. 

“No, Evans, it doesn’t count see, she got hung before she finished it.” James said, showing Lily the particular hanging in question. 

“Where’s Remus?” Dorcas asked, putting an end to the bickering. “I’ve not seen him since breakfast.” 

“He wasn’t feeling well, I think it was the kippers.” Peter said as he stuffed almost a whole roll in his mouth.


	32. 2nd October 1972

“—there are several social clubs that have a long history of werewolf hunting.” Lamot said. “It is a sport that dates back to the sixteenth century and a few of these organisations still engage in the activity to this day. Due to the ever changing categorisation of werewolves, the legality of the sport varies. The majority of these clubs have always hunted the werewolf during the full moon, however there is one that still chooses to hunt during the rest of the month as it’s considered safer.” 

The fact that there were organisations that took part in werewolf hunting wasn’t news to Sirius, but the fact that there was one that did so when it wasn’t even a full moon certainly was. He’d also always thought that it was some sort of secret underground thing…but the Ministry _allowed_ this?

“And I thought Muggle fox hunting was monstrous.” Lily whispered to Sirius, her voice dripping with disgust. He made a small noise of agreement.

“They hunt people? That’s evil!” Marlene gasped.

“Creatures, Miss McKinnon.” Lamot said, with a nasty leer. “And ten points from Gryffindor for not raising your hand.”

Mulciber raised his hand. “Sir, can anyone join these organisations?” 

“Well, they’re certainly selective about their membership.” Lamot said. From what Sirius knew, the two main requirements seemed to be lots of gold and mustn’t be Muggle-born. “And this particular sport is _usually_ only open to members who are of age, due to the savage temperament of the werewolf.” 

“Have you ever gone werewolf hunting, Professor?” Mulciber asked.

“Only when the Ministry deems it legal.” Lamot said with a careful smile that told them all that he actually paid no attention to Ministry regulations regarding werewolf hunting. Sirius was gipping his wand so tightly under the desk that his hand was shaking. He would give anything to know how to perform the Cruciatus curse. Lamot had just admitted to hunting people — people like _Remus_. He shuffled his chair to the side slightly so that he was more effectively blocking his friend. He doubted that Lamot was going to fly across the desks at him — doubted that he even knew what Remus was — but Sirius wanted to be ready just in case.

“Is this why you were asked to resign from the Ministry?” Dorcas’s voice was so cold that Sirius actually shivered. The nasty little smile disappeared from Lamot’s face in an instant and was replaced by an expression of upmost contempt.

“How dare you…your parents would be mortified! You’re lucky that they’re no longer around to—”

“Shut up!” Dorcas shouted, standing up so quickly that her chair toppled over. 

“Detention, Miss Meadowes! Now sit down.” For a moment Dorcas didn’t move. They stared at each other and Sirius wasn’t sure which of them was more angry. Then, Dorcas picked up her chair and dropped back into it.


	33. 2nd October 1972 .II

Lily looked over Severus’s shoulder and nudged him. “You’ve not put in enough water.” She said as he stirred the mixture, she could tell that it was too thick. He looked at her skeptically for a moment and Lily felt a ripple of annoyance. When had her advice in Potions ever led him astray before? “Trust me.” She urged, dragging her stool across the dungeon floor to sit to the other side of the row she was sharing with Severus and Dorcas. Dorcas been staring at the blackboard while her potion brewed, but Lily doubted that she’d really been seeing it. Her eyes were watery, and Lily had a horrible feeling that she was watching the murder of her parents play out among curves Slughorn’s written instructions. 

“Lamot was bang out of order.” Lily said, trying to bring Dorcas’s thoughts back to the present. “He’s such a prat. More than that, he’s evil. You can’t listen to anyone who thinks hunting people is a _sport_.” 

“Yeah.” Dorcas mumbled, flicking some of the dried nettles off of the desk.

“You can’t listen to him. I think your parents would be proud that you stood up to him like that.” Lily said, but Dorcas just shrugged. “You should tell McGonagall what he said, she’ll get you out of the detention…Or write to Mr Moody, see if he can complain to the school. Surely he’d be annoyed that Lamot said that to you…”

“He’d probably be furious, but I’ve caused Alastor enough trouble…and in case you haven’t noticed, Lily, we’re at war.” Dorcas bit coldly; Lily tried not to take it personally. “Sorry, I just…he’s got more important things than me to worry about right now.” 

Severus scooped up a spoonful of puffer-fish eyes and took aim at the back of James’s head. He missed and they splattered against Marlene’s blonde hair. 

“Severus!” Lily snapped. Marlene reached behind her and let out a noise of disgust when she felt the slime. James spun around in his seat, his wand raised. “Potter, don’t.” Lily warned, but before James could decide if he was going to pay her any mind, Slughorn wandered over to check on their potions. 

“Now, now.” Slughorn said good-naturedly, waving his wand at the back of Marlene’s head and vanishing the eyes. “Ten points from Slytherin, Severus.” He looked down into Lily’s cauldron and beamed. “This looks very promising, as always.” Lily felt a swell of pride, this was the one thing that she was better at than any of her friends. At first she had worried that they’d be bitter about it — Severus sometimes seemed irritated — but the rest of them were just impressed; Marlene especially. Even James deferred to her if he ever had trouble with his Potions homework, (not that she was _always_ quite so willing to help him when he could be so mean). 

“Well, you know, I have a gift.” She grinned up at Slughorn. She caught Marlene giving a very exaggerated but silent yawn behind Slughorn’s back and Lily had to suppress a giggle.

“You certainly do!” Slughorn laughed.


	34. 4th November 1972

The wind was so violent that James was struggling to fly in a straight line, and the rain now so cold and heavy that he didn’t think he’d ever be dry again. He had no idea what the score was, only snippets of commentary were making it through the roar of the wind. He’d scored three goals, and missed one, but he wasn’t sure how Ana and Marlene were fairing. He just managed to dodge a Bludger but the Quaffle slipped from his grasp. Marlene flew beneath him and caught it just in time, shooting in the direction of the goal posts. 

“GRYFFINDOR SCORE! Excellent goal by new Chaser, Marlene McKinnon!” He heard the definitely biased Dale Watson shout as he looped round closer to the stands, though how Dale could see what was going on in the match, James didn’t know. “Fox has seen the Snitch! She’s almost there! Yes! She’s I think she’s caught it!” James could just make out the red blur of Isabelle Fox as she pulled out of the dive, her fist raised triumphantly in the air. “GRYFFINDOR WIN! Two hundred and seventy to eighty!”

James directed his broom to the ground and landed in the mud with a splash, joining the rest of his teammates in a cheering, shivering hug. “We won!” He bellowed repeatedly in Marlene’s ear. He no longer cared that he was cold and soaked to the bone. They had proved that they belonged on the team, proved that they weren’t too young, or too inexperienced to hold their own against older players. 

The celebration in the common room was tumultuous, the Gryffindor team, freshly showered — and dry for the first time since October began — were heroes. James grabbed Butterbeers for himself and Marlene and went looking for her in the crowd. He spotted her stood near the fire talking to Sirius.

“You still look cold.” He heard Sirius say, as he rubbed her arms to try and warm her up. James stopped in his tracks, suddenly feeling very awkward and unsure exactly as to why…it was as though he was intruding on something that he wasn’t supposed to see. “Here, put this on.” Sirius took off the thick, cozy jumper that he’d been wearing all day and handed it to her. James thought it might have been one of the ones Mary, or possibly Remus, had given him yesterday. Sirius had only wanted one thing for his birthday this year — Muggle clothes — and all seven of his fellow Gryffindors had risen to the occasion with gusto, providing him with an entire Muggle wardrobe, with enough size variation to allow him to grow a good few inches before his next birthday when they’d promised to supply him with more.

“Thanks.” Marlene smiled, pulling the jumper on over her head. As Sirius looked around and waved James over, Marlene buried her face in the soft wool and inhaled…flushing scarlet when she realised that James had caught her. 

“Three and a half hours that match went on, wish Fox had caught the Snitch sooner.” Sirius complained.

“ _You_ wish she’d caught it sooner?” James laughed. “You didn’t have to fly in it, it felt like we were up there for thirteen hours, not three.” 

“Where did you get all this food from?” Marlene asked. James and Sirius exchanged a look. There was a brief moment where he considered not telling her, but he was already keeping so much from her that the guilt was gnawing at his insides.

“Well, we found out how to get into the kitchens.” James explained, and then lowered his voice so that they wouldn’t be overheard. “And we also found a passage out into Hogsmeade.” 

“No way.” She breathed, excitement glinting in her eyes. “You have to take me with you next time.” Sirius caught James’s eye, they hadn’t even showed Remus and Peter the passage yet. “Please, Jamie?” 

“Alright, alright.” James said, trying to ‘shh’ her through his grin.


	35. 15th December 1972

Marlene knocked on Lamot’s office door and waited for him to call her inside. Detention on the last night of term hardly seemed fair, but it had been worth it. They’d had a good couple of helpful lessons on Inferi — it was almost worse that he wasn’t a flat out terrible teacher, she was sure that it would make it harder for some students to spot the bigoted bullshit from the genuinely useful information. However, as good as the last few lessons had been, the bigotry had come out in full force again as soon as they’d gone over the werewolf stuff from the start of term. 

“Take a seat.” He said, gesturing at the small table beside his desk. Marlene tossed her bag down in the corner and pulled out the chair, dropping into it. “You’ll be writing lines, _I will not speak unless called upon_.”

“Someone had to call you out on your insanity.” Marlene muttered before she could stop herself. “What the—” Lamot waved his wand at her and he rest of the question was cut off, muted. She tried to speak again by no sound came out.

“That’s better.” Lamot smiled. “Now, start writing.” Marlene seethed furiously as her quill scratched across the parchment over and over: _I will not speak unless called upon_. “It’s for your own good, you’ve been causing a serious disruption to my lessons.” Marlene wanted to point out that his lessons deserved to be disrupted. Lamot slid his chair nearer to her’s. “You, and some of your friends, are contributing to dangerous beliefs that could get people hurt. You’re just a silly little girl who needs to learn when to keep her mouth shut.” Marlene could feel his hot breath on her neck as he spoke and goose bumps rose on her arms. He was too close. He brushed the back of his long finger against her forearm and she flinched. “Keep writing.” He ordered, Marlene could hear the smile in his voice. Lamot was enjoying himself. _I will not speak unless called upon_.

It was almost midnight by the time he had lifted the Silencing Charm and let her go. Heart pounding, she ran all the way up to Gryffindor Tower. Marlene had never hated anyone so much in her whole life. It burned, white hot, in her stomach and she wanted to scream.

“Holly Wreath.” She said tentatively to the Fat Lady, before breathing a sigh of relief that she could speak once more. Marlene climbed through the portrait hole and looked around. The common room was empty but for James sat in one the arm chairs by the fire, the remnants of a game of exploding snap on the table in front of him. He got to his feet when he saw her, and she had a strong suspicion that he’d been waiting up.

“Marley, are you alright?” He asked. Marlene let her bag slip out of her hand and strode across the room, straight into his arms. She gripped the back of his pyjama top and he tightened his arms around her. 

“He’s such a creep.” She mumbled into his chest.

“Yeah, I know.” James muttered. “What did he do?” Marlene didn’t even know how to put it into words. She shook her head, tears brimming in her eyes, feeling incredibly stupid for not being able to articulate the sense of revulsion she’d come away from his office with. He hadn’t really _done_ anything much…except scare her, and she wasn’t about to admit she’d been afraid — not even to James. She didn’t need to, however, James had always understood her better than anyone. “Yeah, I know.” James said again, kissing the top of her head. “It’s okay, I’ve got you.”


	36. 19th January 1973

Sirius moved the milk jug out of the way just in time as post owls descended on the Gryffindor table. Andromeda’s tawny owl, Strix, dropped the letter next to his bowl of cornflakes. He gave Sirius’s finger an affectionate nibble before he helped himself to his breakfast. Sirius opened Andromeda’s letter and began to read.

_Dear Sirius,_

_I hope your term has started out okay, and that you’re causing plenty of mischief? I just thought I’d write to let you know that I had the baby last night. A girl, Nymphadora Tonks, I needed an extraordinary name for an extraordinary child. She looks like a Black…for the moment at least. I’ve enclosed a photo, but doesn’t do her justice, she’s just so beautiful…it almost made the twenty hours worth it! We’ll find a way for you to visit us this summer without your parents finding out._

_Love,  
Dromeda_

Sirius took the photograph out of the envelop and smiled at the little baby blinking up at him. Andromeda was right, there was definitely something of the Black family to her features; their family did tend to produce beautiful people — it was just a shame that most of them grew up to be so evil. He glanced over at the Slytherin table and saw Narcissa get to her feet and leave the Great Hall. Sirius stood and stepped out from the bench.

“Where are you going, I thought we were going to see Remus before Charms?” James asked.

“I can’t, I need to speak to Narcissa.” Sirius said. “Narcissa!” He called, running out into the Entrance Hall. She stopped half way up the marble staircase and turned. “Did Dromeda write to you?”

“Yes, I changed the address and sent the owl back.” Narcissa said coldly. Sirius frowned, he didn’t understand. 

“She had the baby, a little girl…you have a niece. I don’t— What’s the matter with you?” He asked. As he moved to the bottom of the stairs, the letter and photograph in his outstretched hand, Narcissa took a step backwards. 

“I don’t care.” She shrugged. 

“What do you mean you don’t care? She’s your sister.” Sirius hissed, his temper starting to rise now.

“No, Bella is my sister. Andromeda is nothing to me.” He couldn’t bare this cold indifference in her voice. 

“But you _saved_ her, saved them.” He snapped, actually raising his wand, half intending to force to read the letter, to look at the picture…she’d come to her senses if she just saw the baby.

“Are you going to jinx me, Sirius?” She smiled, her voice hovering in some infuriating spot between amusement and approval. 

“I’m thinking about it, yeah.” He snapped.

“You won’t.” She said simply, he raised his eyebrows. “Because I’m not Bella.” 

“You’re not Dromeda either.” He snarled.

“No, I’m not.” What had _happened_ to her to make her so icy. She was right though, he wasn’t going to jinx her — of course he wasn’t. He loved her, maybe not as much as he loved Dromeda, but he loved her. 

“Narcissa, is this piece of scum bothering you? I can curse him if you want.” Malfoy had appeared at the top of the stairs, his own wand raised. Sirius thought he saw her eye twitch in annoyance and he almost smiled. She knew plenty of curses herself.

“Don’t you dare, Lucius.” She said softly, turning to face him. “I mean it, you’re to leave him alone.” 

“Fine, let’s go.” He said, stowing his wand and holding out his hand for her’s. Narcissa paused again on the stairs.

“What’s her name?” She asked, not looking back down at Sirius.

“Nymphadora Tonks.” Sirius said. Narcissa tapped her nails against the bannister for a moment, before climbing the stairs to join Malfoy.


	37. 12th February 1973

Remus had taken to trying to make himself as invisible as possible in Defence Against the Dark Arts…short of borrowing James’s cloak. He was terrified of doing or saying anything that might give away what he was. He made sure, no matter how ill he felt either side of the full moon that he didn’t miss a single one of Lamot’s lessons. 

He’d hardly been able to believe the reaction of his friends, he’d never even dared to hope that they wouldn’t shun him…yet here they were with unwavering acceptance. They were so supportive, and so willing to challenge every horrible thing that Lamot said — even the girls, and they didn’t even know the truth — but they were getting in so much trouble. He wasn’t worth it. Remus was torn between being so unspeakably grateful and wanting to beg them to cut it out. He knew that they’d say it wasn’t about him, though, and maybe it wasn’t. 

Lamot wrote ‘Unforgivable Curses’ on the blackboard. “Can anyone name them?” He asked. Snape raised his hand…Remus wasn’t surprised. “Yes, Severus?”

“The Imperius Curse, the Cruciatus Curse, and the Killing Curse.” Snape said.

“Very good. The use of any of them on another human will earn you a life sentence in Azkaban. Now, I won’t be showing you what these curses look like until your O.W.L year, you’re far too young to see them—” Lamot broke off as Dorcas got to her feet and hurried from the classroom. “Where do you think you’re going— Mr Lupin, sit back down.” 

Remus ignored him ran out after her. “Dorcas!” He called, but she wouldn’t stop. He finally caught up with her when she tripped up the stairs between the sixth and seventh floors. “What’s wrong? Are you okay?” He asked, taking hold of her elbow and waist and trying to help her up. "Let me take you to the hospital wing, you might have sprained your wrist." She clutched her arm to against her stomach and tried to shrug him off.

“I’m fine.” She wasn’t fine, she was crying. Dorcas sat down on the step and covered her face with her good hand. “I’m leaving, I can’t do this anymore.” 

“What do you…wait, do you mean you’re running away from Hogwarts?” Remus asked. Dorcas nodded. “Why?”

“What’s the point in any of this? What’s the point in learning any of this now, my parents are already dead. I would trade all my magic to have them back. I miss them so much, my heart is broken. I’m always _so sad_.” Dorcas sobbed, her words coming out in gasps as though everyone of them was being ripped from her. Remus joined her on the stair. “Every time I go to sleep I watch my dad getting murdered, and every time I do nothing to help him. I should have done _something_. I should—”

“What could you have done? I read the article in the Daily Prophet, there were five of them.” Remus reasoned. 

“I don’t know. I could have helped, I could have distracted them, given my dad chance to—”

“You would be dead.” Remus said flatly, and Dorcas shrugged. 

“Alastor spent all Christmas talking about how proud he is of me and I just feel like I’m letting him down, letting _them_ down. I’m never going to be able to live up to any of them.”

“You get good marks, even this year, when you’ve had other stuff on your mind…you’re doing well.” Remus said, wrapping his arm around her shoulders, when she didn’t push him off of her, he pulled her to him.

“That’s not what I mean…none of them would have hid like that, all three of them would have fought. My parents _did_ fight. I didn’t behave like a Gryffindor, you know, ‘ _where dwell the brave at heart_ ,’ and all that. I don’t belong in this house, the hat made a mistake.”

“I think you’re incredibly brave.” Remus said quietly. She had come back to school, she got up every day and tried. He didn’t even think he’d be able to get out of bed in the morning if he’d lost his parents like that. Dorcas gave a rather snotty sounding snort, and he fished in his pocket for a tissue for her. “Do you think Alastor would prefer it if you were killed too?” Remus asked, and Dorcas gave another shrug, though it seemed more half-hearted than the last. “He seems to really care about you.”

“He does.” Dorcas mumbled, then let out a quiet, watery laugh. 

“What?” Remus asked, though he was pleased to hear her laughing again. 

“He’s spent all summer and Christmas trying to be a parent; helping with my homework, insisting on a bedtime. He cooked breakfast in a paisley apron every morning before he went to work…don’t ever tell him I told you about the apron…I’m just glad I’ve already started my period, it would be mortifying going to him for advice on that.” She said, standing up. Remus felt his cheeks turn pink. 

“Um…” 

“Yes, I said period. Don’t be such a boy about it.” Dorcas said, rolling her eyes, but there was a small smile playing across her lips. 

“Please don’t leave school.” Remus said, trying to side-step the moment. “I’d really miss you.”


	38. 31st March 1973

Mary stretched out on the common room floor, her books open around her. It was a Hogsmeade weekend so they mostly had the place to themselves. She looked over at Marlene sat at one of the tables in the corner; she was bent over her parchment, her quill scratching loudly in the quiet common room. The books stacked beside her were all on werewolves so Mary could only assume that she must still be working on Lamot’s homework. Honestly, Mary wasn’t sure why she was even putting in so much effort if she’d picked the werewolf question from the list: _Explain, with examples to documented hunts, if there is a social benefit to the sport of werewolf hunting, and whether the Ministry should reclassify the species as beasts._ It wasn’t as though Lamot was going to give a good mark to anyone who argued against it.

The portrait hole opened and Sirius stepped in, holding two very fluffy white rabbits. “What on earth are you doing with those?” Marlene asked, looking up from her essay. 

“A morning snack.” Sirius grinned, and Mary saw him glance at Remus, who glared back at him.

“You had better be joking.” Mary snapped, closing her book and getting to her feet. She took one of the rabbits from him and stroked its floppy ears, she’d name them. When they’d been talking about the boys last night Marlene had pointed out just how soft James and Sirius really were underneath all the bravado and meanness…so Mary figured that if she named the bunnies then he wouldn’t be able to turn them into rabbit stew or whatever mischief he had in mind. “Let’s see, we’ll call this one Babbitty…obviously. And the other one—”

“Cinnabun.” Marlene said, looking back down at her essay. Out of the corner of her eye Mary saw Sirius’s face crack into a wide smile. 

“Of course I’m joking. You’ve been complaining that you still can’t turn them into slippers. I’m going to help you.” He explained to Mary. She looked at him suspiciously, it seemed like a very kind thing for him to do. 

“That’s nice of…you just want the excuse to show off how good you are at Transfiguration, right?” She asked.

“Of course.” He shrugged, setting Cinnabun down on the coffee table. 

“You’re asking the wrong questions, Mary.” Marlene said carefully. “Sirius, where did you get the bunny rabbits?” 

“I pulled them out—”

“Sirius.” Remus warned.

“—of a hat! What did you _think_ I was going to say?” He smirked, and Remus snorted. “Shut up, or I won’t give you the slippers.” He took Babbitty out of her arms and set him on the table beside Cinnabun. “Okay, so you need to twirl your wand anti-clockwise, I think the problem was you weren’t flicking your wrist enough as you get to the end of the circle you’re making.” Sirius made the gesture. “The spell is _Soccusfors_.” He demonstrated and Babbitty and Cinnabun turned into a soft pair of white bunny slippers. Mary was actually regretting naming them now, she was already growing attached. “ _Lapifors_.” They turned back to rabbits.

“ _Soccusfors_.” Mary said, waving her wand. The rabbits did turn into slippers, which was more than they had done before, but their noses were still twitching.

“ _Lapifors_.” Sirius said quickly. “I don’t want to leave them halfway between, they’ve got names.” He mumbled, when she looked at him quizically. “Try again, put more stress on the first syllable.”


	39. 2nd April 1973

Lamot moved among them handing back their marked essays. Sirius looked down at his; seventy-five. He’d written on Inferi, and he supposed it wasn’t _too_ bad…though he was sure that it would’ve been higher if Lamot hadn’t taken such a dislike to the Gryffindors in this class. 

“Re-mark it.” Marlene said. She was glaring up at Lamot, radiating with so much contempt that Sirius was sure that he could actually feel it.

“Excuse me?” Lamot asked, raising his eyebrows. Marlene got to her feet and shoved her essay back into his hands.

“I said re-mark it.” The chatter around them and ceased completely as the whole class turned their attention to Marlene and Lamot. “I don’t get zeros in Defence Against the Dark Arts. So, re-mark it.” Marlene demanded. Sirius watched her, and odd fluttering sensation in his stomach. She had never looked so tall. 

“No.” Lamot said, his voice dangerous. 

“Fine.” Marlene snapped, snatching back the essay and crossing the classroom. “I’ll get it marked by someone who knows what he’s talking about.” 

“Miss McKinnon, sit back down!” Lamot yelled, but the door had already slammed shut behind her. Mary had pestered her not to write an essay against werewolf hunting because Lamot would never agree with anything she said, but Sirius was very glad that she’d ignored her; he was looking forward to the fallout. 

Who Marlene had gone to became apparent twenty minutes before the class ended. They all looked up in unison as Professor Dumbledore held the door open for her and she returned to her desk for her bag. She winked at Sirius and he felt that strange fluttering once more. 

“Class, please pack up your books. You may leave early today.” Dumbledore said, and Sirius noticed he was holding Marlene’s essay. 

“Nighty-eight.” Marlene whispered in his ear as the class noisily gathered together their things and moved towards the door. She looked so smug — even when Rhiannon Meyrick shoved into her as they left the classroom.

“You went to Dumbledore?” Lily asked, half laughing and grabbing hold of Marlene’s hand with both of hers.

“Seems a bit pathetic to me.” Snape muttered. 

“No one asked you, Snivellus.” Sirius snapped. Snape narrowed his eyes, but seemed to realise that he was vastly outnumbered now the that rest of the Slytherins had already left. 

“Come on, Lily.” He muttered, but Lily hesitated, looking between him and Marlene. 

“I’ll see you later, Sev.” Lily said. Snape glared at her before storming away. “What did Dumbledore say?”

“Not a lot.” Marlene shrugged. “But I told him what Lamot has been saying this year and he didn’t look happy at all.” 

By that evening, the news that Marlene McKinnon had gotten Lamot fired had spread throughout the school, with varying degrees of speculation to how she had done it. Very few of them reflected well on Marlene, many of which had her inventing unsavoury lies about him, and the worst of which had her actually having done the stuff she’d supposedly accused him of. 

Sirius was sure that she was trying not to let the gossip get to her, but the smugness and triumph of that morning had quickly evaporated, and she was now sitting in the corner of common room reading that _Wonderland_ book, or what ever it was, that she’d borrowed form Remus. James was sat on the floor beside her arm chair, trying to engage her in conversation; occasionally she would nod or make a non-committal noise.

“You did a good thing.” James said as Sirius joined them. “Didn’t she?” 

“Absolutely. Lamot was a monster.” Sirius agreed. “And now we have Dumbledore teaching us.” Well, sort of. Although Dumbledore would be covering their Defence Against the Dark Arts teaching, all but the O.W.L and N.E.W.T classes had dropped down to once a week…at least it meant that they now had a couple of free periods. 

“I’d have thought you’d have been excited about that. I mean, is there really anyone better at Defence Against the Dark Arts?” James said. “Come on Marley, cheer up.” Sirius rolled his eyes, he knew from personal experience that being told to ‘cheer up’ generally had the opposite effect. Marlene looked up from her book and Sirius followed her gaze over to Bertha sat with one of the the other giggly fourth years. Berth and her friend glanced over at Marlene before quickly turning away, erupting into more laughter. 

“Just leave it, Jamie.” Marlene muttered, tugging him back down when he started to rise to his feet. “You’ll spend the rest of your life in detention if you go around jinxing anyone who’s whispering about me.” She’d said it as a deterrent, but frankly, Sirius thought it would be worth the detentions. “They’ll get bored soon enough and find someone else to talk about.”

“Yeah.” Sirius said, encouragingly. “Especially because most people _hate_ Lamot. It’s hardly like it’s a huge loss to the school.”


	40. 24th April 1973

Marlene sat in the common room, her quill hovering over her new subject form. She’d hardly been short of advice, her parents had written to her recommending Divination, Muggle Studies, and Ancient Runes…but she wasn’t sure she fancied any of them. She also didn’t _have_ to pick three — even though they were quite eager for her to — if she stuck with two then she’d have more energy to focus on her other subjects. 

“What do you think, Jeremy?” She asked, she was loath to ask him for help, but he had gone through this himself before.

“Well, I took Mum and Dad’s advice, Muggle Studies and Ancient Runes are both really good, Divination is a bit of a joke…it's a bit soft, but then, so is Dad.” Jeremy grinned.

“Oh no, _I’ve_ picked Divination.” Dorcas said. She’d written to Moody asking which subjects were needed to become an Auror, but he’d told her that none of these additional ones were required and that she should just pick the ones she thought she’d enjoy the most. 

“Well, it could just be that I’m not very good at it.” Jeremy clarified.

“Is it difficult?” Peter asked.

“You can make a lot of it up.” Jeremy said, and Peter quickly ticked the Divination box on his form. “Marlene, you’ve always been more outdoorsy than me, I think you’d enjoy Care of Magical Creatures; my friends say it’s fun.”

“You have friends?” Marlene teased.

Jeremy glared at her. “Do you want my help or not? Arithmancy is apparently very difficult, but you’re fairly smart.” 

Marlene smiled, hardly daring to believe that he was still complimenting her when she was being mean to him. In fact, he’d been quite nice to her since the whole Lamot incident, she supposed that he hadn’t wanted to pile on. She had been right though, they’d gotten bored of the topic after a while and for the most part James had listened to her and not started attacking gossipers left, right and centre; however he and Sirius had needed to spend the night in the hospital wing the other day. They’d cursed Warren Milton but it turned out that they’d not really been a match for him. Whatever Milton had said must have been bad because both James and Sirius flat out refused to tell her what it was and their silence on the matter was infuriating.

Returning to her form, she ticked off Care of Magical Creatures and Arithmancy, while Jeremy turned his attention to Peter who was still fretting. Something light hit the back of her head and she spun around in her chair, looking from the screwed up ball of parchment on the floor behind her to James who was waving her over. She got up and crossed the room. “You couldn’t have called my name like a normal person?”

“I considered trying out the Summoning Charm but apparently it doesn’t work on people.” He grinned. “Is Evans taking Muggle Studies?” 

Marlene looked down at his form, he’d also chosen Care of Magical Creatures and Arithmancy, at least if they turned out to be awful she’d be with James. “I think so.” Marlene said, though Lily seemed to be going back and forth on her subject choices. James ticked the box...he’d be pretty busy next year, what with Quidditch as well. “Why don’t you just ask her?”

“She’s not talking to me today.” James shrugged.

“Why, what did you do this time?”

“Why do you just assume that I did some— I gave Snivellus a wart on his nose the size of a Snitch.” James grinned. “Look, he hexed me first! She’ll cool off, she always does.” 

“So that was why she was arguing with Snivellus?” Marlene asked and James’s face lit up.

“Must be.” He grinned. 

“Want me to hex him too, or do you think the wart was vengeance enough.” Marlene asked, if it was disproportional then she’d even it out.

“Nah, I’m over it. Madam Pomfrey put my toenails back to normal.” He shrugged.


	41. 5th May 1973

There was a loud chatter of excitement, the sort that had accompanied the minutes before Defence Against the Dark Arts started since Dumbledore had take over. They were down to one lesson a week, and Lily still felt she was learning more now than she had in the months they’d spent with Lamot.

“Do you think if he can’t find a replacement we’ll have him permanently?” She asked Marlene hopefully.

“I doubt it’ll be an issue.” Marlene said, as Dumbledore swept in to the classroom. “He’s bound to find someone new by September. I mean, it seems like a pretty cushy job, teaching here. I’d do it.”

“I don’t think he’d hire a thirteen year old to teach Defence Against the Dark Arts.” Severus sneered. Marlene shot him a nasty look.

“I didn’t mean now, idiot.” She snapped. Lily sighed, it would be nice to go one day without Severus arguing with her other friends…hell, at this point she’d happily take an hour.

“Books away, and divide yourselves into pairs.” Dumbledore said. Lily preferred it when teachers paired them up, it would have prevented the sulky look on Severus’s face as she moved to a free space with Marlene. Lily wasn’t sure why he was complaining, Florence had found him and she was genuinely lovely. As they stood, their chairs and desks shot across the room and tidied themselves neatly against the walls. “Today we will be practicing the Shield Charm that you studied last week. Now, may I have a volunteer?”

Many of the class looked uneasy about the idea of having to perform the spell against Dumbledore, what chance did they have? This was _Dumbledore_. Lily did notice, however, that both James and Marlene’s hands had shot in the air; she supposed she shouldn’t really have been surprised. 

“Mr Potter, if you please.” Dumbledore smiled. James winked at her, like the prat he was, as he made his way to the front of the classroom and Marlene put her hand down looking sour. “Now I want you to think of a jinx, Professor McGonagall has brought it to my attention that you and your friends certainly know a few.” James gave a bashful smile, but Dumbledore’s reproach seemed only light. “Any that you like, I am thoroughly unconcerned that you’ll be able to do me any damage.” Sirius sniggered at this, and James told him to shut up. 

They raised their wands. As James shouted “ _Locomotor Wibbly_!” (Lily smiled, the incantation for the Jelly Legs Jinx always amused her), Dumbledore said “ _Protego_ ” and James’s spell hit an invisible barrier.

“If performed correctly, the spell will be unable to penetrate the barrier, as you all just saw. Are you ready to try it for yourself?” Dumbledore asked him, and James nodded, raising his wand again. “ _Rictumsepra_.” Dumbledore said gently. James shouted " _Protego_ " before Dumbledore had even finished the spell, but a jet of silver light blasted through his shield and hit him in the stomach. James doubled over in a fit of giggles, and Lily and Marlene grinned at each other; she’d have to remember that one. “ _Finite Incantartum_.” Dumbledore smiled and James straightened up. “That was very good for a first attempt, Mr Potter. You were very quick. Now, can anyone identify any potential issues that you might encounter if you have to perform this spell out in the world?” Lily raised her hand, as did some of her other classmates. “Yes, Miss Evans?”

“Well, it’s like you said last week, it won’t work against the Unforgivable Curses. So if Voldemort,” some of the class flinched but Dumbledore looked at her with an odd expression — it might have been admiration, and Lily drew confidence from it and continued, “decides he’s going to kill you, then you’re done for.” 

“Correct. This will not protect you against the Killing Curse, however, the Unforgivable Curses are not easy spells to perform, and it seems that many of his Death Eaters aren’t relying solely on them. Can anyone else identify another potential problem? Miss Meadowes?”

“If the person attacking you uses a non-verbal spell, you have less time to defend yourself.” Dorcas spoke so quietly that the very air in the room seemed to still, as though it too had paused to listen to her. 

“Excellent, which is why Mr Potter’s speed just now was so important. Now, off you all go, take it in turns to try and block each other’s jinxes…anyone using dark magic will be severely punished.” He added, and though she couldn’t be sure, Lily thought his eyes flicked for a second to where Avery and Mulciber stood.

Lily turned to Marlene, and raised her wand. “Ready?” Marlene asked, and she nodded.


	42. 26th May 1973

Marlene felt rather sick as she looked down at her plate of scrambled eggs. It was the worst she had ever felt before getting on a broom; even James looked oddly green. The ceiling above them showed that the sky was a brilliant blue; they couldn’t have asked for better conditions to play in. She glanced down the table to the rest of the team; they all seemed fine. She supposed that their confidence came from the fact this wasn’t their first Quidditch final. Marlene, on the other hand, was sure that she’d woken up that morning having simply forgotten how to even throw a Quaffle.

“Have some toast instead.” Mary said, switching their plates. Marlene picked up the slice of toast and took a small bite, though it was like trying to swallow cardboard. 

“Oh my!” Dorcas gasped, as she turned a page of that mornings _Daily Prophet_.

“What is it?” Marlene asked, she would be glad of the distraction from thoughts of that morning’s match. Sirius leant across to read over Dorcas’s shoulder.

“Lamot is dead.” Dorcas said, pushing aside a plate of bacon so that she could lay the paper on the table for the rest of them to see the article. “He was killed by a werewolf, the Ministry think it was Fenrir Greyback.”

“Good.” Marlene said quickly, the nasty bastard got what was coming to him. 

“Marlene!” Mary gasped. “You can’t say that!”

“Why not? Am I supposed to be sorry that he’s dead? He was a terrible person.” She hissed. The fact that he’d been killed by a werewolf too! It was almost a poetic sort of vengeance. 

“Well, you got him fired.” Peter said slowly. “If he was still in the school he’d have been fine, so if you think about it, then really you—”

“Don’t even go there, Peter.” Sirius snapped, but Marlene felt a horrible jolt in her stomach and it plummeted to her feet. _Was_ this her fault?

“It’s _not_ your fault.” James said quickly, as though reading her mind, or maybe just her face. “I’m certainly not going to be shedding any tears over him…look let’s go and get ready, don’t worry about that right now.”

Marlene got to her feet and followed him out on wobbly legs, the rest of the team followed suit and they left the Great Hall to calls of good luck.


	43. 9th June 1973

Dorcas gingerly approached the Thestral outside Hagrid’s cabin. She’d gone to Professor Kettleburn with questions about them, and he’d had asked Hagrid to let her meet one. Dorcas was starting to regret agreeing to this now. It just looked so terrifying. The Thestral shook its dark mane and opened it’s mouth, revealing a set of menacing fangs. She jumped back.

“It’s alrigh’, he won’ hurt yer.” Hagrid said, as he sat on his doorstep peeling potatoes. “His name’s Tenebrus.”

“Hi Tenebrus.” Dorcas said tentatively, reaching up to touch its odd, skeletal face. Tenebrus turned his head and pushed his nose into her palm with a snort, and Dorcas felt herself smiling slightly. He stepped backwards and turned his attention to the carcass of a dead cow lying a few feet away. Out of the trees stumbled a foal, flapping wings that seemed far too big for its body, but not being able to lift itself off the ground. Giving up on this endeavour it bounded forward to Dorcas.

“That one’s Isra.” Hagrid said. Dorcas giggled and knelt down as Isra tumbled over her own legs before righting herself. She was simultaneously the ugliest and cutest baby animal that Dorcas had ever seen. A strange, fleshless combination of horse and pterodactyl, with all the excitement of a Labrador puppy. Dorcas wondered if she could smuggle her back to the common room without Hagrid noticing. 

She watched them for a while; Kettleburn had been right; they were gentle things. Fascinating. And yet, Dorcas would give anything in the world to not be able to see them. To go back to the end of last June, and those seemingly horseless carriages, when her soul wasn’t being weighed down by a crushing grief. Now, even in those moments of happiness that her friends managed to draw out of her, there was still an ever present agony lurking at her shoulder, waiting to swallow her whole.


	44. 18th June 1973

Sirius knocked on McGonagall’s office door but there was no answer. He chewed thoughtfully on his lip. She had told him that he was free to use her office if he needed somewhere quiet, but it felt weird that she wasn’t here. 

“ _Alohomora_.” He said, coming to do a decision. The lock clicked and he pushed the door open. It took him a while to remember how to produce boiling water for the teapot, James was always so much better at that sort of thing, but eventually he’d made himself a cup of tea, selected a copy of _Transfiguration Today_ that he hadn’t yet read from the shelf, and settled himself in the arm chair in the corner of the room. He was just reading about the process of becoming an Animagus, when McGonagall entered the office.

“Good Afternoon, Sirius.” She said, pouring herself a cup of tea and sitting down at her desk; if she was surprised to see him it didn’t show. He half expected her to tell him off for being here but she said nothing about it.

“Are you really an Animagus?” He asked, showing her the magazine when she looked at him questioningly. “I’ve heard people say that you are?” 

McGonagall smiled and got to her feet before turning into a tabby cat with spectacle markings around her eyes and jumped up onto the desk. Sirius let out a laugh and clapped his hands together, it was pretty cool. He wished he could do it. He reached forwards, intending to scratch her behind the ears but she hissed at him and took a swipe at his hand. Sirius pulled it back, his grin half apologetic. She jumped down and turned back into herself. 

“That was brilliant, Professor.” 

“Thank you.” McGonagall said, returning to her chair. 

“Is it really difficult to become one?” He asked.

“Yes, and dangerous too. So the Ministry keep a close eye on people attempting it. It can go really very wrong.” She took a sip of her tea and set the cup down on the saucer. 

“Do you ever worry that you’ll be out in the Muggle world as a cat and you’ll get hit by a car…and someone will take you to one of those Muggle animal healers and they’ll put one of those plastic cones on you?” 

McGonagall glared at him but he was sure that he saw the corner of her lip twitch. “It’s not something I’ve ever thought about.” She said with forced dignity. 

“If you got sick as a cat would treatment even work…like would you need to go to Professor Kettleburn or Madma Pomfrey? When you’re a cat are you more cat or more person…do you think as a cat or as a person? I mean, if I’d throw a ball of wool just now would you have chased after it.” Now that he’d started asking questions he realised just how many he had. “If you got bit by a werewolf while you were a cat would you be a werecat? Can you communicate with all the cats in the school, are you their leader?”

McGonagall raised her eyebrows and Sirius was sure that she was fighting a smile now. “If I was unwell I would turn back into myself and go to the hospital wing. While I’m a cat I still think as a person, but emotions are a lot simpler. I would not have chased after the ball of wool.” She was definitely smiling just a little bit. “And if I was bitten by a werewolf I would not turn into a werecat…to the very best of my considerable knowledge, there is no such thing and the werewolf bite isn’t harmful to an Animagus while they’re in their animal form. Yes, I can communicate with the other cats while I am a cat…” She didn’t dignify his question about being their leader with a response. 

It wasn’t until Sirius was walking back to the common room that it the implications of what McGonagall had said slid into place, opening up a series of wonderful possibilities. A werewolf bite isn’t harmful to an Animagus. He broke into a run and burst through the portrait hole, the common room was empty. He turned back around and hurried down the flights of stairs, taking several at a time. James was probably out on the grounds. He spotted him coming back through the front doors and jumped down the last six steps, twisting his ankle as he landed.

“Sirius, what the—”

Sirius limped over to him, panting and grabbed hold of James’s arm, glancing around to make sure that they were alone. “If we become Animagi we can spend the full moon with Remus.” He whispered urgently. “He won’t have to be alone.”


	45. 7th July 1973

“Where do you think you’re going?” Walburga asked. Sirius jumped, almost upending the box of Floo powder. He’d walked straight to the kitchen fireplace with out noticing her. 

“My friend James’s house.” Sirius said. “I told you this last night.”

“Not dressed like that, you’re not.” She snapped, and Sirius looked down at his t-shirt and shorts. “Where on earth have all these clothes come from? Your father and I certainly didn’t buy them!”

“James lives on a Muggle street. I can’t wear robes.” Sirius reasoned, getting impatient now. He didn’t want to waste half the day arguing with his mother about this. Walburga made a derisive noise.

“What sort of self-respecting pure-bloods choose to live among Muggles.” She scoffed. Sirius stared at her in disbelief, sometimes it was so easy it wasn’t even enjoyable.

“ _We_ do. Grimmauld Place is a Muggle street!” He laughed. Walburga opened her mouth and closed it a couple of times, apparently unable to think of an intelligent retort. In frustration she picked up her china cup and threw it at Sirius, who ducked just in time. The cup smashed against the mantlepiece and sent hot tea and china spraying around the room. Not waiting for her to find something else to throw at him, he tossed a handful of power into the flames and stepped into the fireplace. When he emerged out in James’s living room he had to dust shards of china out of his air along with the soot. 

“What happened to you?” James asked, getting up from the sofa. 

“Nothing.” He muttered, pulling at his t-shirt where it was sticking to him. “Can I borrow a shirt?” He asked, taking his off. James disappeared from the room and retuned with a clean one. “Thanks for this.” He said, putting it on. “I’ll see you later.” 

Sirius threw another handful of Floo powder into the fire and travelled on to Andromeda’s house. He stepped out and looked around the small and shabby living room. The furniture was mismatched, and he thought it might have had several previous owners. Yet, there was something wonderfully inviting about it. Andromeda, hurried in to the room, barefoot and in dungarees…and looking more tired than Sirius had ever seen her. 

“You look haggard.” He grinned, and Andromeda laughed. 

“Come here.” She said. Sirius crossed the room and wrapped his arms around her waist. He’d missed her so much. She was the one person in the world that he _knew_ loved him. The only person. She held on tight and kissed the side of his head. Not even his own mother hugged him like this; he didn’t think she ever had. “You’ve grown!” She smiled. “I can’t even tuck you under my chin anymore. You coping alright?” Sirius nodded against her shoulder. ‘Coping’ was the right word, he wasn’t exactly doing okay in that house, but he was coping. “You want to see the baby?” Sirius wasn’t sure that he was ready to let go just yet but stepped back all the same. He hadn’t actually noticed the playpen in the corner until Andromeda bent down lifted the baby out. “Meet Nymphadora.” 

“She looks different.” Sirius frowned, though he supposed she was several months older than she was in the photograph Andromeda had sent him.

“She’s a Metamorphmagus.” Andromeda beamed. 

“No way!” Sirius said, he’d read about them and they were so rare. Andromeda seemed quite impressed that she didn’t have to explain what it was.

“Yeah. Her hair changed from black to blonde about half an hour after she was born…its been a nightmare having Muggle neighbours, let me tell you. You want to hold her?”

“Oh, I—” Sirius stumbled, flailing his arms a little awkwardly, he had no idea how to hold a baby. But Andromeda just plopped her down in them. Nymphadora leant back slightly in his arms to look at him, _please don’t start crying_ , he thought. But there was a curious expression on her little face. 

“Ted wanted to call her Emily, but she’s extraordinary, I needed to give her an extraordinary name.” Andromeda said. Privately, Sirius was sure that she’d hate her for it. 

“She’s lovely.” Sirius smiled.

“She does have her moments.” Andromeda laughed, nodding for him to follow her into the kitchen where she began making tea. “I’m never doing it again though.”

“Was it awful?” 

“You have no idea. Twenty fucking hours. Ted went off for a cry a couple of times.” Andromeda said, tipping out some custard creams onto a plate. 

“He was crying?” Sirius scoffed, what a soft git. “Why?”

“At the time I was a pretty livid, but I get it. Seeing someone you love in as much distress as I was in and not being able to do anything to help must’ve been horrible.” She shrugged. “So, Nymphadora is going to be an only child.” 

“Has Narcissa been to see you?” Sirius asked, wanting to change the subject in case Andromeda was about to go into any gory childbirth details. Andromeda stirred a teaspoon of sugar into her tea, it clattered noisily against he cup in the quiet kitchen.

“No.” She said carefully, and then gave a sad sigh. “I don’t think I’m ever going to see Cissy again.”

“Why not? She _helped_ you.” This was really starting to piss him off now. Maybe he should try locking them together in room. Nymphadora gave a whine in his arm at the change in his tone and, without even realising he was doing it, he started to rub her back soothingly. 

“That day, she came and told me what our parents were going to do, she helped me pack some stuff, and she hugged me goodbye. It felt like goodbye, it felt final — I’ve tried my best to help her, I really have, but you can’t save someone who doesn’t want to be saved…who doesn’t think they need saving.” Sirius looked away from her, he didn’t want to admit she was right, but Narcissa had drifted so far away from them that no matter how desperately he tried to pull her back she was slipping out of his grasp. “I doubt Nymphadora will ever meet her aunts.” 

“I hope she never meets Bellatrix.” He said, holding her a little closer. Andromeda smiled and he wasn’t sure why. 

“Bella is…” But Andromeda never finished the sentence, she let it trail off into nothingness. 

“Evil.” Sirius spat, looking back at her. He’d lost any love for Bellatrix along time ago, she could rot for all he cared.


	46. 2nd August 1973

“It’s just my luck I meet a pretty girl from my city on holiday, and she goes to boarding school in Scotland.” Ben said, and Mary felt herself blush. She’d never had a boy call her pretty before…it seemed to be a side effect of being friends with Marlene; she loved her, but Marlene demanded attention in every room she entered. Boys looked at her, talked about her, and Mary felt dowdy by comparison. She’d kicked up such a fuss when her parents had told her that they were going to this Muggle resort…not because it was a Muggle resort, but because Marlene had invited her to stay at her’s. Then yesterday, she’d met Ben. Mary lifted herself to sit on the pool table. 

“Well, I’m only here for a week, and I don’t have to go back to school until the first of September.” She smiled. It was rather a shame he was going home tomorrow. Ben moved closer to her, she could feel his breath tickling her cheek. His lips brushed against hers and she felt her heart start to flutter wonderfully. Until loud ringing pierced through the moment, causing them both to jump. “What was that?” 

“Sounds like a fire alarm. I thought I could smell smoke before, I just figured someone had lit a bonfire.” Ben said, taking her hand and pulling her down off the pool table. “Let’s go.” He said, nodding at the fire exit.

“I’ll catch you up, I just want to make sure there’s no one left down here.” Mary said. The basement was massive, full of game rooms and activity halls. There had to be well over a thousand people in the hotel and children were just roaming free. 

“Are you insane?” Ben asked, and Mary shrugged. Maybe she was. 

“I’ll just be a couple of minutes. The place is huge, how fast can fire really spread anyway?” She hurried out into the corridor, drawing her wand from the waistband of her jeans. This hardly seemed like the time to care about the International Statute of Secrecy. She followed a throng of people heading in the direction of a staircase leading to the upper floors, checking each room that she passed for anyone left behind. The smoke was getting thick pretty quickly and she covered her mouth with her sleeve. 

Mary spun at the sound of a crash, the ceiling behind her had collapsed, setting the very walls of the basement alight. She carried on climbing — why did this place have to be such a maze? Spotting another fire exit, she hurried over and pushed the door but it was locked. What sort of morons locked a fire exit? “ _Alohomora_.” She coughed, pushing it open. It was so tempting to leave, but if this one was locked then others might be too. She could open all the doors in the time it might take one of the Muggles to find a key. Cursing all of them, she carried on up, and spotted a group of hotel guests hammering at a door. “ _Alohomora_.” She said again, aiming her wand at a gap in the terrified people. It swung open and and they burst through. 

Mary heard someone screaming above her and ran up another flight of stairs, two at a time as flames engulfed her way back down. Even if she knew the charm to produce water from her wand tip she doubted she would ever be able to conjure enough to put out this much fire by herself. The heat was becoming unbearable, and her eyes were stinging. It was selfish, she knew, but she should have left with Ben. Mary turned a corner and spotted a young women clutching her little girl “ _Reducto_!” She shouted, shattering a low window. “Come here, it’s not too far drop.” She grabbed her arm, and half helped, half forced the woman out before passing the little girl down to her.

The floor beneath Mary’s feet began to shake and she watched in horror as, across the landing, it gave way, sending a father and son plunging into the inferno below. She froze, watching the flames they had disappeared into, unable to convince her own body to flee. What a terrible way to die. The heat was overwhelming, smoke was filling her lungs — choking her. Through the haze the hooded figure hurtled round the corner. And Mary understood, with a horrible, sickening comprehension, what was really happening. 

“ _Petrificus Totalus_!” She coughed before the figure could spot her. The Death Eater went rigid, swayed on the spot for a moment, and fell face down. Mary lunged forwards just in time, grabbing his robes and heaved him towards the window as the floor beneath them started to crumble. She sobbed, from the fear or exertion, she wasn’t sure…maybe both. The smoke was now so thick that she couldn’t see, she had to feel around for the window with her foot. Eventually she felt it, and slid backwards through the gap, landing on the grass below. She let out a grunt as the paralysed Death Eater landed on top of her. Had her parents made it out? 

Mary stared up; the evening sky, black with smoke, was glowing a sinister and dangerous orange. She knew that she needed to move, it wasn’t safe here, the whole building could collapse on top of her, but she just wanted to close her eyes and sleep. Rough hands dragged the Death Eater away and helped her to her feet. 

“You’re alright.” Moody said, his face looming into view. She nodded.

“Mary! _Mary! _” Her mother’s screamed. Mary spun around and saw her parents running towards her. Their wands were out and their clothes were singed; Mary was sure that they'd had the same idea as her. Katherine collided with her, almost knocking her back to the floor. “Sweetheart, we were so worried!”__

__“I tried to help them.” She gasped._ _

__“I know, you did so well.” Malcolm soothed._ _


	47. 24th August 1973

Marlene sat opposite James at his kitchen table, she’d come here almost every day this summer, sometimes not even bothering to go home. They’d done their homework out in the sunshine, bothered the local shop keepers, and had occasionally been joined by Sirius as he passed through to Andromeda’s house. Lily had sent her another book from her library — _The Importance of Being Earnest_ — but other than that she’d not heard from her other friends.

“Did you bring your list?” Mrs Potter asked her, as she cut James’s hair. 

“It’s my bookmark.” Marlene said, showing her the letter. Her mother had been working over time since the attack on that Muggle hotel, so Mrs Potter had offered to take her to Diagon Alley when she took James. Marlene didn’t understand why she couldn’t just go by herself, Jeremy had been allowed to. 

“Right, James, that’s you done.” Mrs Potter said, taking the towel from around his shoulders. “You next Marlene.” Marlene switch seats with James, taking the towel off of her wet hair. 

“Can I cut it?” James said, when Mrs Potter and finished brushing it through. 

“No way! I love my hair, you’ll ruin it.” Marlene said.

“What do you think I’m going to do, chop it all off? Come on, Marls, Mum’s here. She can show me what to do, and if I make a mistake she can grow it back.” James begged. “Please Marley, I want to learn and I don’t have anyone else to practice on.”

“You promise you’ll fix it if he messes up?” Marlene asked Mrs Potter, and she crossed her finger over her heart. “Fine, begin your grand ambition to become a hairdresser. No more than inch though.” She warned. James smirked but he wouldn’t make the joke Marlene knew he wanted to make in front of his mother. 

The haircut took a lot longer than if Mrs Potter had done it herself, but she’d only had to correct a few mistakes. “I wonder who the new Defence Against the Dark Arts professor is?” Marlene asked as they entered Flourish and Blotts.

“I don’t know, can’t be any worse than Lamot though, can they?” James shrugged. “Maybe try not to get this one killed.” 

“Funny.” Marlene glared at him. She still felt a sick twinge of guilt when she thought about Lamot. 

“Sorry, that was a bad joke.” James said, holding his hands up. “You know I don’t really think it was your fault. You shouldn’t either.” 

“Yeah I guess…Do you think I should get an owl? I want a cat but Mum will kill me, Jeremy doesn’t like them.” Marlene asked, changing the subject. She didn’t want to talk about Lamot. 

“I think you should get a cat.” James grinned. 

“That’s because you’re a shit.” Marlene smiled, and James didn’t try to deny it. After Flourish and Blotts, they went to the Magical Menagerie and Marlene chose a beautiful grey owl. She called her Gwendolen after one of the characters in _The Importance of Being Earnest_.


	48. 31st August 1973

Mary finished recounting the events of that night as she knew them. When the Ministry had called her to give evidence against Julius Otten, she’d worried that he would be in the courtroom with her, but he wasn’t. She’d found out more in the month since the attack. Fifty-two Muggles had died…she’d honestly been surprised that it hadn’t been more. The fire had been set by three Death Eaters, one had been killed when a ceiling collapsed, one had escaped, and she had rescued Otten. A blonde, bespectacled young woman sat in the corner, her quill scratching away. Mary was sure that she was a reporter for the _Daily Prophet_. 

“So _you_ didn’t see Julius Otten set the fire?” Crouch asked.

“No. I didn’t see him until just before I pulled him out of the building. And I didn’t see the other two Death Eaters at all.” 

“Very well, you’re free to go.” Crouch said.

“One moment, Mr Crouch.” Said a squat witch to his left. “There is still the matter of punishment for the sheer amount of underage magic Miss Macdonald performed.” 

If Mary hadn’t been sitting she was sure that her legs would have given way. They were going to punish her? Were the nightmares filled with burning and screaming not punishment enough? 

“Don’t be so ridiculous.” Moody snarled. “The Decree for the Reasonable Restriction of Underage Sorcery clearly states that an underage witch or wizard can use magic in life threatening situations. Both Miss Macdonald’s life, and the lives of what the Muggle authorities are reporting was over a thousand other people, were in danger. Miss Macdonald acted with bravery far beyond her years, she doesn’t deserve to be punished, she deserves an Order of Merlin!”

Mary looked down at her knees. She didn’t want an Order of Merlin. She hadn’t acted for a medal, it had just been the right thing to do. 

“You’re free to go.” Crouch said. “There will be no punishment.” 

Mary got to her feet and hurried out of the room to where her dad was waiting for her. He stopped pacing the corridor when he saw her and forced his face into a credible attempt at calmness. 

“Miss Macdonald! Could I have a word?” Mary turned to see the reporter chasing after her. Malcolm wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her away.

“She’s not talking to the _Prophet_.” He snapped.


	49. 1st September 1973

Mary was about to push her trolley though the barrier when something in one of the Muggle shops caught her eye. A rack of newspapers, the front page dedicated to a photograph of the burning hotel and the headline: BRITAIN MOURNS.

“Dad, have you got any Muggle money left? I want to by a magazine.” Mary said, and Malcolm handed over the little bag he kept his change in. “Go through, I’ll catch you up.”

“Absolutely not, we’ll wait here.” Katherine said. Mary resisted the strong temptation to roll her eyes. If her mother had been over protective before the fire, it was nothing to what she had become now. She bought a copy of the paper and put it in her bag before she left the shop so her parents wouldn’t see that she’d lied. Rejoining them, they pushed through the barrier together and out onto the platform. Mary and Malcolm loaded her trunk up onto a compartment and she kissed them goodbye. “Keep your head down, sweetheart. Look after yourself.”

“See you at Christmas.” Mary said, giving her mother an extra kiss. Once she’d settled herself down by the window, she opened the paper with slightly shaking hands, and began to read. She supposed that Beatrice McKinnon and the Muggle-Worthy Excuse Committee had done a pretty good job. An accident caused by three teenagers smoking…she doubted these actually existed. Mary wasn't sure how much of the disaster was the result of particularly flammable building material and human inaction…as the paper was claiming, and how much of it was a cover for actions of the Death Eaters. She turned the page, and over a double spread photographs of the fifty two Muggles that had perished stared up at her. She spotted the father and son she’d watched fall…and Ben. Poor, sweet Ben. He’d gone back in to look for her, she was sure of it. 

She was gradually joined by her fellow Gryffindors. When Lily entered the compartment, Snape hesitated in the doorway.

“Are you joining us, Snivellus?” Sirius asked, raising his eyebrows and poorly concealing his smirk. 

“No.” Snape spat. “Come on, Lily.” He said. Lily looked between them all and sighed, following him out. 

“Wait! Evans, don’t go! I’m sorry.” Sirius called.

“Except you’re not, are you?” She challenged.

“No, I’m not.” Sirius shrugged, and Lily actually smiled.

“At least you’re honest. I’ll see you all later.” She said, before closing the compartment door behind her. 

Mary shifted uncomfortably in her seat, James hadn’t stopped staring at her since he’d sat down. “What?” She finally asked.

“Is it true, what the _Prophet_ said this morning?” 

“I’ve not read it, what does it say?” Mary asked him, the rest of them had turned to look at her now too.

“That rather than evacuate, you started unlocking doors so other people could get out, that you helped people to safety…including a Death Eater?” James asked.

Mary chewed on her lip…where they going to hate her for that last? “Yeah.” She mumbled.

“Wow, Mary.” Peter breathed. “That’s incredible.” 

“Thanks.” Mary mumbled. This was stupid, any of them would have done the same, people needed to stop acting like she’d done something extraordinary…she didn’t want that sort of attention. 

“What was it like, going to the Ministry and giving evidence?” Sirius asked, offering Marlene’s new owl a treat through the bars of its cage. 

“Quite intimidating…there was this witch there who thought I should be punished for all that magic I used.” Her words generated such a profanity laced tirade from her friends that Mary felt a huge swell of affection in her heart. “I should write to Mr Moody and thank him.” She said to Dorcas. “He really spoke up for me.” 

“It’s getting worse out there.” Marlene murmured. “Did you hear about that train crash in Glasgow two nights ago? Four dead and fifty-odd injured. They’ve told the Muggles that the driver had a heart attack.” 

“That was Death Eaters?” Remus asked, sounding horrified. “It was on the front page of _The Guardian_ yesterday, I had no idea.” 

When they eventually reached Hogsmeade station Dorcas grabbed her arm, stopping her from disembarking. “What’s wrong?” Mary asked.

“Listen, I think you’re going to be able to see the Thestrals…they look terrifying, I’m not going to lie. But honestly, they’re so gentle…I just wanted to remind you that they're there. I didn’t want you to get the shock that I got at the start of last year.”

“Thanks.” Mary said. They followed the others off the train, but they’d never catch them up. Mary saw the Thestrals as soon as she left the station. Dorcas had sat up one night in their dormitory last year trying to describe what they looked like…Mary had never imagined they’d look so skeletal, which was madness because Dorcas had actually used the word skeletal to describe them. 

“It’s okay.” Dorcas reassured her, taking hold of her hand and leading her over to one of the carriages.


	50. 2nd September 1973

“Hey, Evans!” Lily turned at the sound of James’s voice. It was a quiet evening in the school, much more so than the common room had been. “What are you— What’s wrong?” 

“Nothing.” Lily lied, but she knew that her voice had given her away. James did look genuinely concerned. 

“Wait there.” He said, disappearing through a door that the Hufflepuffs usually emerged from. Lily chewed on her bottom lip, debating whether to just walk away. Anything that involved James Potter could only lead to trouble…she felt rather bad for this thought, however, when he returned with two mugs of hot chocolate.

“Why are you being nice to me?” Lily asked, taking the mug from him with narrowed eyes. 

“I’m always nice to you.” James said, sounding incredibly offended. “It’s Snivellus I’m mean to.” 

“Leave me alone, Potter.” She muttered, walking away. She didn’t have the energy to fight with him tonight, and James couldn’t seem to go five minutes without being a prick.

“No, wait! I’m sorry.” James called. “I won’t say a bad word against him all evening.”

“If you can stop yourself for the evening, why not for good?” Lily challenged as they climbed the stairs. 

“Because he says and does things that aren’t okay…I know you know that.” Lily didn’t answer, she wasn’t going to engage in this. They carried on walking in silence, she was following him but she had the strongest suspicion that he was following her. They didn’t stop until they reached the top of the Astronomy tower and had nowhere else to go. Lily sat down, looking out over the grounds, as the sun lowered over the horizon. “What is it, Lily?” James asked, sitting down beside her. She registered the use of her first name. It always sounded odd coming from his mouth…but she didn’t dislike it. She took a sip of her drink, mulling over whether to confide in him. 

“They’re killing Muggles, and Muggle-borns.” She murmured, gripping her mug tightly with both hands. “How long until they get my mum and dad…how long until they get me?” 

“They won’t.” James hissed, his jaw clenching so tightly it looked painful. “I won’t let them.” 

Lily laughed, what on earth did he think he was going to do to protect her. “That’s…sweet of you.”

“I mean it, you’re my friend—”

“We’re not friends.” She said abruptly, feeling a twinge of guilt at his dejected expression. “Come off it, Potter. We’re hardly friends…this might be the longest conversation we’ve had without arguing…and there’s still time.” 

“Of course we’re friends…okay, so maybe its not a typical friendship, but it’s definitely a sort of friendship. At least,” he faltered, “it is for me.” Lily raised her eyebrows, she’d love to hear the thought process that had brought him to this conclusion. “I think you’re a bit snooty, but I still like you…and you think I’m arrogant, but you still like me?” He asked this so hopefully that Lily had to bite back a smile. He wasn’t exactly _wrong_. Though ‘like’ might be too strong a word. 

“I guess we are friends…of sorts.” She admitted reluctantly. James’s whole face lit up, and for the first time Lily noticed that he was actually fairly handsome.

“I wonder which day we’ll have Muggle Studies? I don’t think may of us are taking it.” James asked. Lily frowned, what on earth was he talking about?

“I’m not taking Muggle Studies.” 

“What?” James asked sharply. “Marley said you were.”

“I thought about it, but I changed my mind…I guess I forgot to tell her.” She watched as James opened and closed his mouth again. It suddenly occurred to her that he might have only picked it because she had. Lily laughed.

“Shut up.” He muttered, but this only made her laugh harder. Eventually she composed herself and they finished their drinks in silence, watching the sun disappear out of sight. She didn’t feel any less afraid, yet somehow, she felt better.


	51. 6th September 1973

They’d had to wait until the second half of the week for Defence Against the Dark Arts, and they were all rather disappointed to see that Dumbledore had managed to find a replacement. Thursday afternoon rolled around, and Mary lined up outside with her fellow Gryffindors, and unfortunately the Slytherins again, to find out whether Professor Gallo was any better than Lamot…though really, could she be any worse?

“In you go, class, take a seat.” Gallo said. They filed in and Mary hesitated for a second, the desks were gone and the chairs lined the classroom walls. She sat down between Peter and Marlene. The trunk in front of Gallo’s desk gave a shudder but she paid it no mind as she took the register. “Now my lovelies, in this truck here, is a Boggart. Can anyone tell me what that is?” 

Mary watched as Remus’s hand shot in the air. “It's a creature that will take the shape of what ever will scare us most. They usually like dark and enclosed spaces…like wardrobes and cupboards, sometimes they hide in forests.”

“You’re Lyall’s son, aren’t you?” Gallo asked, peering at him through her oversized spectacles. 

“Yeah.” Remus smiled.

“Excellent!” Gallo said. “Now, it hasn’t take a form yet, but can anyone identify the advantage we would have if I were to open the trunk now? Yes, Florence?”

“There’s too many of us, it wouldn’t know what to change into.” Florence said.

“Very good. I want all of you to take a minute to close your eyes and think what frightens you most.” Mary saw Marlene smirking next to her; did anything frighten Marlene? Mary closed her eyes, she thought of the way the fire had climbed the stairs behind her, cutting off her way out, smoke filling her lungs and her heart started to race…it was the most terrified she’d ever been in her life. “When you each step forward to confront the Boggart, it will assume the form that most frightens you. Now the charm to repel the Boggart is…Remus?”

“ _Riddikulus_.” Remus grinned, looking really rather pleased with himself.

“Exactly right.” Gallo smiled. “You need to use your imaginations to force the Boggart into something comical. “I, for example, am terrified of wasps, always have been…but I found it funny when my father would trap them in a pint glass on a hot summer’s day. Whenever a Boggart sees me, it turns into a giant wasp…so I imagine it trapped in an equally giant pint glass and shout _riddikulus!_ You get the idea?” She asked, and the class nodded. “Now, take a moment to think about how you can make your fear amusing.” 

Mary closed her eyes again, but she couldn’t think of how to make those creeping flames amusing…there had been nothing funny about that night. 

“Alright, let’s work our way around the room. Sirius, if you please.” Sirius stepped forwards and Gallo opened the trunk. One by one the the class forced their Boggarts into amusing shapes, but Mary still had no idea what to do. “Mary!” Gallo eventually called, and she stepped forwards, her wand shaking in her hand. The Boggart turned into fire, creeping its way along the floor towards her. 

“ _Riddikulus!_ ” She yelled, but with nothing to turn it into it had no effect. She tripped, landing painfully on her back and rolled over, squeezing her eyes shut and covering her head with her arms. Someone stepped over her.

“ _Riddikulus!_ ” Mary heard Marlene shout and she felt two pairs of hands pulling her to her feet. 

“Are you alright?” Sirius asked. Mary tried to nod, but she couldn’t seem to manage it. 

“James, take her to the hospital wing, ask Madam Pomfrey to give her something for shock.” Gallo said kindly. James didn’t let go of her elbow as he guided her out of the classroom. Mary was barely listening as he explained to Madam Pomfrey what had happened, and she pressed a goblet into her hands. Mary took a large gulp and felt some of the feeling return to her legs.

“I’m so embarrassed.” Mary mumbled, covering her face. It was mortifying, her friends had done fine against the Boggart and she’d completely fallen apart. 

“You shouldn’t be.” James said seriously. “You’ve got nothing to be embarrassed about, it must have been so awful.”

“I was.” Mary said hoarsely. “It was so hot, and could hardly breathe…I thought I was done for…I— do you know how to perform the Bubble-Head Charm?”

“What? Yeah…why?” James asked.

“Will you teach it to me?”


	52. 8th September 1973

That afternoon James raced back from Quidditch practice so fast that he knew that he’d made Marlene suspicious. It was foolish; now she’d be bound to ask what was wrong and he’d have to lie to her _again_. As far as he knew, she’d never lied to him. He burst through the dormitory door and saw Sirius, Remus and Peter all sitting on the floor. 

“Did you get it?” He panted. Sirius picked up the book and waved it at him.

“I borrowed a whole bunch of books.” Sirius said, pointing at the pile on the nightstand; they covered a wide variety of Transfiguration topics. “Might keep her from being too suspicious about the book we were really after.” 

“Smart.” McGonagall was the shrewdest person James had ever met, if Sirius had just asked to borrow this particular book on Animagi…when there were plenty of books in the library offering general information, she’d have put together what they were up to in seconds. 

“I can’t believe she just let you borrow stuff from her private collection.” Peter said.

“What can I tell you,” Sirius shrugged, “perks of being her favourite student.” 

James thought it was more the perks of being as gifted at Transfiguration as Sirius was, but he wasn’t about to say that out loud — Sirius’s head was already big enough. “How’s it looking?” He asked, joining them on the floor.

“Not good.” Sirius muttered, handing over the book. James looked down at the instructions. _Shit._ Some of it would be easy…the strand of their own hair, for example. They could nick Mandrake leaves from the green houses, dew untouched by human or sunlight for seven days would probably mean a trip into the forest, and Slughorn _might_ have Death’s-head Hawk Moth Chrysalises in his store cupboard. However, keeping the Mandrake leaf in their mouths for a month, and waiting for electrical storms… 

“Don’t do this.” Remus said, looking between their equally uncertain expressions. “It’s too hard, you’re not going to be able to pull it off without doing yourselves some real damage.”

James watched as Sirius turned defiant. “You think I’m not good enough to pull this off? I can help these two idiots. It’ll be a piece of piss.” 

Remus sighed. He’d been trying to talk them out of it since they’d told him what they’d planned to do…James thought he knew that he was fighting a losing battle, though.

“Full moon’s on Wednesday, right?” James asked, Remus, who nodded. “Right, after dinner this Wednesday, I’ll grab my cloak and nick us some Mandrake leaves.”

“We’re starting next week?” Peter squeaked, sounding slightly horrified.

“Well yeah.” Sirius said. “This could take a long time.”

James looked sadly down at the book. Marlene would be so into this, and she’d certainly need less help than Peter was bound to need. But that would mean telling her about Remus…and that wasn’t up to him. If this worked, and she found out, she’d never forgive him. It felt as though the universe was trying to weigh his friendship with Marlene against his friendship with Remus and it wasn’t fair.


	53. 12th September 1973

James decided to bring his cloak down to dinner with him, he’d sneak out while most of the school was still eating. After wolfing down quick portion of steak and ale pie he and Sirius headed back out into the Entrance Hall. He pulled out the cloak and handed his bag to Sirius. 

“Give me half an hour.” He said, “And then come back and open the front door.” It would be just his luck that another student, or worse a teacher, would notice the front door opening by itself. After checking that they were still alone, he threw the cloak over himself, and slipped outside. The fact that it wasn't quite nightfall yet made James nervous. He knew it was stupid, he knew that his cloak was perfect…it had never failed him before, and his dad had said that it had never failed him either, but there was definitely something comforting about the cover of darkness. He’d voiced this to Marlene once, and she’d rightly called him an idiot.

James let himself into Greenhouse Three and weaved his way down to where the potted Mandrakes were lined up. Trying not to make it too noticeable to the second years that were working on them, James cut away the smallest leaves from three different plants, and pocketed them. It didn’t take James nearly as long to return to the castle as he thought it would — even though he’d bumped into the Venomous Tentaclua and launched into such a fit of loud swearing as it tried to grab him that if a teacher had heard him he'd have spent the rest of the month in detention...well, maybe not Professor Sprout, she seemed to heartily encourage that sort of language when confronted with the inhabitants of the greenhouses. He had to wait around for a rather lengthy ten minutes, but as promised Sirius was there to open the door to let him back in. It was a good job too, students were now flowing steadily from the Great Hall as the made their way back to their common rooms, so much so that James didn’t dare pull the cloak off yet. 

“Madam Pomfrey took Remus down to the willow.” Sirius muttered out of the corner of his mouth as they climbed the stairs. “Give it a few months and we’ll be able to meet him down there.” 

“Yeah.” James whispered, more so that Sirius would know that he was still there than because he actually agreed with him. He doubted the’d be able to pull this off first time. 

“Coast’s clear.” Sirius said as they rounded the seventh floor corridor to the entrance to Gryffindor Tower, and James whipped off the cloak and stashed it in his bag that Sirius was holding open. “Did you get them?” He asked and James nodded. Peter was waiting for them in their dormitory, and James handed out the Mandrake leaves. “Alright,” Sirius said, opening up the book. “we can’t take them out at all until the next full moon, we can’t swallow them either…Peter.” He added, and James smirked. 

“Shut up.” Peter grumbled.

“Ready?” James asked, they nodded, and in unison placed the Mandrake leaves in their mouths.


	54. 24th September 1973

“What do you mean you swallowed it?” Sirius hissed as they walked across the grounds to Care of Magical Creatures.

“I didn’t mean to.” Peter mumbled. “It was an accident, it got caught on my bacon sandwich.” 

“What are you doing?” Sirius asked as he watched James spit his Mandrake leaf out on the lawn. 

“We do this together or not at all.” James said, and Sirius glared at him defiantly…he didn’t want to do this without _James_ though. Why did Peter have to be so fucking useless? It hardly boded well for the rest of the process.

“Fine.” He muttered, spitting out his own Mandrake leaf. “We’ll start again next full moon.”

“What are you whispering about?” Sirius jumped at the sound of Marlene’s voice behind them, and she linked her arms with his and James’s. 

“Don’t be nosy, _Bertha_.” Remus grinned, and Sirius laughed; he was relieved to hear that Marlene did too. It was considerably colder this morning than it had been for the last few weeks, and Marlene, who he’d noticed always seemed to feel the cold, had already taken to wearing her scarf and hat. 

“It’s Fire Salamander’s today.” James said to her. “That should warm you up.”

“I wonder what would happen if you fed a firework to one?” Peter asked, as they waited for Professor Kettleburn.

“Pete!” Marlene gasped. “That’s awful.” 

“Quick, Marley, give them names!” Mary called over.

“Yeah, come on Peter. This is _Care_ of Magical Creatures.” Sirius said…his spark of curiosity at Peter’s question was immediately extinguished when he saw how cute the salamanders were. They scampered over the logs, in and out of the flames, as the class added more to keep it burning. Sirius kept checking on Mary out of the corner of his eye. None of them had forgotten that first Defence Against the Dark Arts lesson of term…and the Slytherins had been terrible about it; Dorcas had said that she’d even caught Avery and Mucliber trying to set Mary’s robes alight. Mary seemed okay at the moment though, admittedly she was keeping considerably further away from the bonfire than the rest of them were, but she was her usual bubbly self.


	55. 6th October 1973

Marlene walked up the drive with Lily, Dorcas and Mary in the autumn sunshine. They were chatting excitedly about what Hogsmeade might actually have to offer, and Marlene was joining in, rather dishonestly…they didn’t know that she’d snuck out through a secret passage with James and Sirius last year. Watching Lily experience Hogsmeade was almost better that experiencing it for herself, however. Her face lit up at the sight of all the little shops, Marlene supposed this would have been how Lily had been when she’d first gone to Diagon Alley.

“You don’t want one of them.” Dorcas laughed, as Lily peered into a jar of Acid Pops. 

“Honeydukes do the best fudge though, Jeremy gets me some every Christmas.” Marlene said, abandoning the Bertie Bott’s Every-Flavour Beans to select some.

They bumped into the Gryffindor boys in Zonko’s…it didn’t surprise Marlene that James and Sirius seemed to have bought a bit of everything. The shop seemed like their paradise and they both had plenty of gold to throw around. 

James snuck his hand into Lily’s bag of sweets, and she trapped it. “Who do you think I am, Potter, Marley? Get your own.” She grinned. 

“Come on Evans.” He whined, before turning his attention to Marlene. She raised her eyebrows at him, daring him to try and take some of her fudge and he seemed to think better of it. Out of spite, Lily offered sweets to Sirius, Remus and Peter…she wasn’t sure she blamed her really, they hadn’t tried stealing any. 

“Have you seen the Shrieking Shack yet? We’re heading there now.” Mary said, and they watched the boys exchange an uncomfortable look.

“Don’t tell me you’re scared?” Marlene laughed. “What happened to ‘ _where dwell the brave at heart_ ’?” 

“There’s supposed to be a pretty violent ghost living there.” James said, running his hand through his hair.

“Well _I’m_ not as chicken as you lot.” Marlene said. “I bet we can find a way inside, right?” She asked, looking around at Lily, Dorcas and Mary. They nodded. 

“If you try and get in...I’ll tell Jezza!” Sirius said wildly as they turned to leave. If Marlene hadn’t heard him for herself she’d never have believed that it had been Sirius who had said it.

“You wouldn’t!” She gasped, this was the height of betrayal. She looked at James who had taken a considerable interest in his shoes. “Jamie?” She asked. 

“Sirius is right.” He muttered, still refusing to meet her eyes. Marlene stormed out of the shop, the door hitting the wall with such force that she was surprised the glass didn’t shatter. “Marley, wait!” James called but she ignored him. 

“Just forget about them. Look, let’s go to The Three Broomsticks.” Dorcas suggested as the girls hurried to catch up with her. They each ordered a Butterbeer but pub was packed, they were going to struggle to find somewhere to sit. 

“We can sit with Severus.” Lily said, Marlene suppressed a groan, but wasn’t really sure what other choice they had. 

“Alright— No.” Mary said when she spotted Avery and Mulciber. “You can but I’m not.”

“Miss Macdonald…Mary, do you remember me?” The all turned to see a young woman, clutching a quill and parchment. Marlene didn’t recognise her but Mary nodded. “I’ve been waiting for a Hogsmeade weekend, I was wondering if I could ask you those questions I had…about the fire?” 

“I…yeah okay.” Mary mumbled, following her. Marlene bit her lip, a strong feeling of foreboding developing in her gut. There was something oddly unsettling about this perfectly manicured woman.


	56. 8th October 1973

Dorcas gasped at the sight of an article a few pages into that morning's _Daily Prophet_. 

“What is it?” Sirius asked sharply. “Who’s dead?” 

“No, no! No one.” Dorcas said as she read the horrible piece. That was her fault, ‘who’s dead?’ was becoming such a normal discussion at the breakfast table that she needed to start measuring her reactions. Repeating this, however, felt _almost_ worse. Mary was so sweet…how could that horrible woman write such things about her. “It’s nothing.” Dorcas said. Her tone betrayed her and Sirius snatched the paper from her hands, upending a plate and sending sausages rolling across the table surface. His expression turned to disgust as he read. 

“This is sick.” James muttered reading over his shoulder and looking up at Mary. She seemed to understand too quickly.

“Mary,” Dorcas asked, trying to keep her tone gentle…as if they were in the hospital wing, “what sort of questions did that reporter ask you?” 

“She was quite upset that my dad wouldn’t let me talk to her…and apparently my parents have been quite abrupt in their responses to her owls…I was just trying to smooth things over. I was trying to be helpful.” Mary mumbled. “She just wanted me to go over what happened in the hotel…what has she written?”

“Oh Mary.” James sighed. Dorcas could tell he was reluctant to tell her, she didn’t blame him. Mary held her hand out for the paper and Sirius hesitated for a moment but passed it across. Dorcas watched Mary’s eyes fill with tears.

“It’s not true.” She said urgently. “‘— _father, Malcolm, fled Scotland for Singapore at eighteen under suspicions circumstances_ …’ he went to take care of my Grandmother, she was ill.” Mary said. “‘— _met and married a Muggle-born, Katherine Chan, who now pretends that she’s pure-blood_ ’ she doesn’t! I mean, she doesn’t walk up to You-Know-Who and say ‘hi, I’m a Muggle-born, want to do me in?’ but she doesn’t pretend! ‘— _family’s questionable involvement in the fire that killed more than fifty Muggles…daughter, Mary, was seen in the company of a Muggle boy who’s death bears the marks of dark magic…pulled known Death Eater, Julius Otten, perpetrator of countless murders in the Wizarding community, including members of the Bennett and Whitby families, from the burning building_ — It wasn’t like that, I promise!” Mary said, looking pleadingly at her friends.

“We know.” Dorcas said quickly. “We know it wasn’t.” 

She looked down the table to where Marlene and Lily were sitting — Marlene was still refusing to talk to James and Sirius — and she was sure that neither of them had seen today’s paper; Marlene would have gone off on one if she had.


	57. 11th October 1973

By Thursday, the true effects of the _Prophet_ article became disgustingly apparent. An owl landed beside Mary’s cornflakes and dropped a letter before taking off again. She opened it and stared down at the parchment.

“What’s wrong?” Dorcas asked.

“Oh it’s horrible!” Mary said. “Listen to this. ‘ _You should have let him die. Your—_ ’ they used the wrong ‘you’re’, ‘ _just as bad as he is, Death Eater. I’ll be writing to the school to demand your_ ’, again, should be ‘you’re’, ‘ _expelled before you hurt the other kids_.’” 

“You’re kidding?” Dorcas asked, and Mary showed her the letter, brushing away angry tears. 

“I couldn’t leave him to die like that…it didn’t matter what he was. They weren’t there, they don’t know what it was like! I didn’t save him because I support You-Know-Who, it was just a terrible way for _anyone_ to die!”

“Let’s go to Potions, we’re going to be late.” Dorcas said, picking up her bag and waiting for Mary.

“I suppose I should be relieved that they didn’t send a Howler. You do believe me, don’t you?” Mary asked as they walked down to the dungeons.

“‘Course I do! Look, you’re not famous enough to attract too much attention. Just try to ignore it, this person is just a sad, lonely loser with nothing better to do with their time.” 

“That’s not a nice thing to say about Peter.” Marlene grinned, as they joined her and Lily. Sirius let out a snort of laughter from a few chairs away. “Was I talking to you?” She demanded.

“Marlene, don’t.” Mary reproached half-heartedly; she thought Marlene was being far too harsh on James and Sirius, but she didn’t want Marlene snapping at her as well.

“Show her the letter.” Dorcas urged and Mary handed it over. Marlene frowned as she read.

“This is evil.” She muttered. “This is really, really evil.” Avery reached over and grabbed the parchment out of Marlene’s hands. “Give it back!” She shouted raising her wand, but he’d already showed Mulciber.

“ _Accio Letter!_ ” James said, the parchment soared out of Avery’s grip and James caught it, Mary’d have to ask him to teach her that one too.

“Wow, Mary…I’m impressed. I think we judged you too soon.” Avery smirked.

“ _I am not a Death Eater_.” Mary hissed furiously, and she certainly wasn’t going to pretend, even if it did mean they would leave her alone from now on.

“I’d have thought your father would have told you who is and isn’t a Death Eater, being one himself.” Dorcas snapped in a whisper.

“He told me that your mother tried to run away. Pretty cowardly move for an Auror with a child upstairs.” Avery said with a nasty smile. Dorcas froze beside Mary for just a moment, and then she and Avery were firing spells at each other. Lily pulled Mary to the side and out of the way of a jet of light just in time.

“ _Enough_!” Slughorn bellowed, striding over to the carnage. Mary had never heard him shout before. Tables and chairs lay splintered. Avery was still on his feet but he was clutching his head and sobbing. Dorcas was flat on her back, out cold, a strange black substance dripping from her nose. Slughorn waved his wand and Dorcas floated off of the ground. “I am taking these two to the hospital wing. Anyone who uses magic while I’m gone will spend the next month in detention.”

They had tried to go and see Dorcas after Potions, but Madam Pomfrey wouldn’t let them in. Mary was crossing the Entrance Hall at lunchtime, all concern over the letter than morning driven away, when the heavy oak doors burst open and Alastor Moody strode in, his face set in a terrifying fury. He looked around and saw her.

“Where’s Dorcas?” He demanded.

“Still in the hospital wing. We haven’t been allowed to see her—”

“Ahh, Alastor, you’re here. Albus would like a word.” McGonagall said, appearing at the top of the stairs. 

“You said Dorcas was hurt, he can wait. Lead the way.” He snarled, snapping his fingers at Mary. She started at his abruptness, but led him to the hospital wing. It struck her, as they walked, that this was a very nice thing for him to do. He surely knew where to go, but this way Mary would be allowed to see her too. Moody hesitated at the sight of Dorcas tucked beneath the crisp, white sheets, still unconscious.

“Excuse me—” 

“I’m her family.” Moody said, cutting Madam Pomfrey off and taking Dorcas’s hand. 

“She’ll be right as rain.” Madam Pomfrey said, her tone switching from disgruntled to kind with an amusing speed. Mary spotted Remus in another bed and she gave him a quizzical look, in all the chaos she hadn’t noticed that he’d not been in lessons today. 

“Minerva said that she’d been in a fight?” Moody asked her.

“Yes, with a boy in her class. I’ll fetch the headmaster.” Madam Pomfrey said, bustling from the room. Moody glared at Remus, starting to rise to his feet.

“It wasn’t me!” Remus said quickly. “He’s already been discharged.”

Dorcas stirred, opening her eyes. “Alastor?” She asked, trying to lift herself up.

“Easy now, lie back down.” Alastor said, pushing her shoulders. “Tell me what happened.”

“It was Avery. I accused his father of being a Death Eater — I know he is, I heard you and Scrimgeour talking — and he said his father told him that Mum tried to run on the night she was…when they were…” Dorcas couldn’t seem to finish the sentence. “That sounds like he was _there_!” Dorcas wailed, trying to sit up again.

Mary watched Moody’s knuckles whiten on her shoulders as he pushed her back down. “Let me worry about that. Listen to me, Dorcas. I knew your mother very well, she trained me. I _know_ that she fought.” 

“Miss Macdonald, please wait outside.” Dumbledore had appeared in the door way, and Mary nodded, getting up leaving the room. At least she could tell the others that Dorcas was fine.


	58. 3rd November 1973

The weather had worsened steadily as they entered November, and Marlene was still being ice cold with James and Sirius. Every time James tried to talk to her she would respond with short, irritable answers. However, this morning she had still given Sirius a birthday present…she’d thrown it at him…but James supposed that it was progress. They’d hurt her, he knew that, and it was killing him. The less she knew about the Shrieking Shack though, the better. What if she found out she could get in through the willow? If she decided to take a night time stroll down there during the full moon…it didn’t bare thinking about. 

“If you two don’t start getting along you’re off the team!” Isabelle shouted, soaring towards them. “We play Slytherin next week! Shaun chose you last year because you worked so well together. You know what, go back to the changing rooms and stay there until you’re friends again.” 

James followed Marlene back to the ground and across the pitch. She tore off her gloves and threw them on the bench before sitting down.

“Marley, I’m sorry.” He said. He missed her so fucking much, this had been the longest he had ever gone in his whole life without her speaking to him. His world was colder without Marley, she was tender with him in a way that none of his other friends were and the absence of this tactility was leaving him with a slight hollowness that he was struggling to shake off.

“You were going to grass me up to _Jeremy_!” She hissed. “You don’t even _like_ Jeremy. You think he’s stuck up, pompous.” 

“The Shrieking Shack is _dangerous_ , Marley.” James said, sitting down next to her. It wasn’t a lie, it was dangerous…once a month. 

“I didn’t think you were bothered by a bit of danger?” She challenged.

“I’m not.” He muttered, feeling and irrational wave of anger towards Remus. How could he have asked him to keep this from Marlene? She was the one person who had been there, always, solidly reliable and indestructible. He told her everything, and Remus wouldn’t let him tell her this…so that he could explain, so that she would understand. He told her everything…except that he, Sirius, and Peter were trying to become Animagi. In a fresh wave of guilt he swallowed the Mandrake leaf, but instantly regretted it, now they would have to start over. 

James Potter told Marlene McKinnon everything…except when he was lying to her. 

“Well, neither am I.” James was so lost in thought that it took him a moment to remember what they were talking about. Marlene was never one to shy away at the prospect of danger, and that was the problem. She lived for the excitement, sought out adventure, put herself between others and those that would cause them harm.

“You’re the person I love most in the world, I just don’t want you to get hurt.” James mumbled, and he was sure that he could feel her soften slightly. “You’re my sister. Losing you would destroy me. You have other siblings — real siblings — but I only have you.” He supposed that he also had Nicole, and, he thought grudgingly, Jeremy, but it wasn’t the same, they didn’t have that bond. He had friends, friends that he loved dearly, friends that were like brothers, but it wasn’t the same…they were relatively new additions to his world. They weren’t Marlene. 

“I can look after myself, I don’t need your protection.”

“I know.” 

“Threatening me with Jeremy was so below the belt it’s unreal.” 

“I know that too.” James decided against pointing out that it had actually been Sirius who had made the threat. James and Marlene had been friends since…well, since he had been born, he was hoping that it would be harder for her to stay mad at him. “I’m really sorry.”

“I know.” She sighed, scratching red nail varnish off of her thumb. When she finally looked up at him, he knew that as angry as she’d been, she’d missed him too.


	59. 10th November 1973

James caught the Quaffle as Marlene passed it to him and shot off in the direction of the goal posts. He threw it, the Slytherin Keeper dived the wrong way, and he scored. Marlene put away another two, and performed a couple of loops in the air to show off. Despite this, they were still losing, and try as they might, they just couldn’t seem to catch up. The Slytherin team were just playing better than they were today. Marlene caught the Quaffle when one of the Slytherin Chasers dropped it, and threw it to Ana, but the Keeper saved the goal.

“Fox has seen the Snitch!” Dale bellowed into the megaphone, and the crowd rose collectively to their feet. “Yes! She’s caught it! Gryffindor win!” Dale was at least far too bias to add ‘just about’. Isabelle rose out of the dive, her fist in the air. Marlene watched James make an obscene hand gesture at the Slytherin Keeper and captain…and he said that she was a sore winner.

“Jamie, look out!” She screamed as the Slytherin Beaters hit the two Bludgers at him, but it was too late. One hit his shoulder and Marlene was sure she heard an awful popping noise, and the second hit him in the back. The force of it caused his face to smash into his broom, he slid sideways off, and only just managed to keep hold with one hand. Marlene and Ana flew towards him and helped him back down to the ground. James spat a mouthful of blood onto the grass; it looked quite sinister against the light dusting of snow. Marlene had been quite excited this morning when she’d woken up to find it snowing — momentarily forgetting, of course, that she’d have to fly in it — but the scarlet spattering of James’s blood against the white certainly put a damper on what was usually her favourite weather.

“My shoulder.” He winced. Marlene looked at it, he was holding his arm at a strange angle.

“I think it’s dislocated.” Ana said. “I’ll take him to Madam Pomfrey.” 

The Slytherin Beaters were laughing as they touched down and Marlene wished she had her wand on her; they were still smirking slightly even as Madam Hooch lectured them about fair play.

“Marls!” Sirius shouted, running towards her. “Is James okay?” 

“He’ll be fine. Madam Pomfrey’ll still probably keep him overnight though, you know what she’s like about the dangers of Quidditch.” She said, still watching the Slytherins. The joy of winning seemed to be absent from this victory. They’d played terribly, if Isabelle hadn’t caught the Snitch when she had, there was no doubt in Marlene’s mind that they would have lost. She just hoped Isabelle didn’t follow through on her threat, after all, it had been the whole team that had performed poorly, and she and James were getting along again like nothing had ever happened. Sirius reached up and brushed his thumb against her cheek.

“Blood.” He said, in answer to her questioning look. “You flew brilliantly. I mean you always fly brilliantly, but you know…” 

“Sirius, it’s fine. We’re fine, I promise.” She said, realising what he was trying to do. This was about the month she’d spent not talking to him, he was trying to win back her friendship without realising that there was no need. As though to prove her point, and without really making a conscious decision to do so, she reached up and kissed him on the cheek. She heard Lily giggle as she passed them, and felt herself going as red as her robes. “I’m going to shower, I’ll see you back in the common room.”


	60. 1st December 1973

_Sirius,_

_I’m coming up to Hogsmeade with Nymphadora this morning to meet up with Alice Fortescue, feel free to join us, it’ll be nice to see you again._

_Love,_

_Dromeda._

_P.S. Maybe don’t let Cissy see you._

“Where are you going?” James asked as Sirius got to his feet, looking over at the Hufflepuff table. He couldn’t see Alice, maybe she’d already eaten.

“I’ll see you in Hogsmeade later, Andromeda’s there this morning, I’m going now.” Sirius explained. He hurried out into the Entrance Hall, Alice might have already left…the school was so big, if only a way to find someone easily. Figuring that he would just have to check the pubs and cafes in Hogsmeade for Andromeda, he returned to his dormitory to fetch his coat. As he reached the Entrance Hall again however, Alice was coming up the stairs that lead down to her common room. “Alice!” He called, she turned.

“Dromeda said you might be joining us.” Alice smiled. They traipsed through the snow together in silence. He didn’t really know Alice very well…not beyond the way most pure-blood children sort of knew each other. He knew her to let on to if they ran into each other outside of school, but she was a seventh year, so it wasn’t like they really stopped for chats. He knew that she’d spent a lot of time with Dromeda when she’d still been at school, and he thought she might have been dating Frank from Gryffindor, but he wasn’t sure. 

“My sister talks about you…a lot actually.” Alice eventually said. She had a strange sort of smile on her face.

“Florence is nice.” Sirius said, a little awkwardly. She was, and sort of pretty too. “Too nice to be in Slytherin.” In fact, Sirius couldn’t really tell why she hadn’t been in Hufflepuff, though, he remembered, the hat had taken a fair bit of time choosing her house, maybe it’d had trouble deciding. 

“Now, now.” Alice laughed. “Andromeda was in Slytherin, and she’s nice.” 

“I think it was the disregard for rules that tipped the balance for Dromeda.” He grinned, remembering all the cigarettes and Firewhisky on school grounds.

“Have you spoke much to Narcissa lately?” Alice asked after a while, the words were a little muffled as she was chewing on her thumb nail.

“Narcissa doesn’t really speak to me any more.” Sirius said. “I thought you were best friends?”

“Narcissa and I haven’t been friends in quite sometime, I don’t really like the person she’s become.” Alice admitted. “I’m still friends with Andromeda though…obviously.” She added. 

Sirius followed her to the Three Broomsticks, still being early it was pretty empty, and he spotted Andromeda at the bar right away, Nymphadora balanced on her hip. When they joined her Andromeda handed Nymphadora over to Alice and gave Sirius a hug. 

“She’s gotten so big.” Sirius said, as they moved over to a table. 

“I know, she said ‘Dada’ the other day. Ted was in his element…I was less than impressed.” Andromeda grinned. “And she took her first steps last week…I mean she’s falling all over the place but I’m sure she’ll grow out of it.”

The pub door opened and Narcissa walked in, she spotted them sat together, and quickly hurried back out.

“Shit.” Sirius whispered, forgetting what Andromeda had said about Nymphadora starting to talk. “I’ll be right back.” He said, getting up and following Narcissa outside. “Narcissa!” He called, catching up with her. “Are you going to tell my parents?” She turned and considered him for a moment.

“No.” She said, starting to walk away again, but he grabbed hold of her arm. 

“Why not?” He asked, a little astounded really.

“I don’t know.” Narcissa admitted, sounding almost as surprised as he felt. 

“I don’t understand you, Narcissa. You ignore me, ignore Dromeda. You treat Bella like she’s some sort of hero. Yet you saved Dromeda, stopped Malfoy cursing me, won’t grass me up. I don’t get you. Don’t you miss us at all?”

“How dare you! How dare you stand there and call me out for ignoring my sister! When was the last time you spoke to Reggie? You pass him in the corridors and you blank him! He’s told me!” She shouted. “You treat him as though he doesn’t even exist! So the next time you want to accuse someone of being a terrible sibling, I’d start a little closer to home, you arrogant, self righteous little—”

“That’s not…” Sirius said, feeling a little stunned by her outburst. It wasn’t the same…so he couldn’t think of a reason why it wasn’t the same right now, but it was definitely, surely not the same… 

“I…look, Andromeda made her bed when she went and married a—” Narcissa broke off, a war raging behind her eyes.

“You can’t even say it.” Sirius smiled, unable to temper the little bubble of hope that was forming in his stomach.

“She went and married a Mudblood.” Narcissa hissed, and Sirius felt the little bubble burst. He grit his teeth, his grip tightening on his wand. 

“You used to be the sweetest little girl, you had such a good heart and then one day you just changed. I don’t understand why…is it Malfoy, are you trying to impress him or something? I don’t know what you see in him.”

“I grew up Sirius, people change. And Lucius loves me, we are going to make a beautiful life for ourselves. We’re going to be comfortable, and safe, and we are going to adore our children. I’ll miss you, and Dromeda…I do miss you and Dromeda, but I’ve got to protect my future. You’re a smart boy, I know you can see the way the world is going…I don’t want to be one of these people getting murdered in the streets. You don’t need to worry about me, I’m going to be just fine, you need to start worrying about yourself.” 

Sirius stared at her, he could hardly believe what he was hearing. “Don’t you see, that’s why you need to fight…because _people are getting murdered in the streets_. We have to stand up for each other, we have to stand up and refuse to allow it to happen!” People were staring at them now, but he didn’t care. 

“That’s not my job, my only job is to look after me and my own. That should include you, but if you’re intent on getting yourself blasted out of the way for a bunch of strangers then there’s not much I can do for you. I don’t _want_ people to get hurt, but it’s not something that I can stop.” She said, there was infuriating calmness in her tone. She believed what she was saying, believed that it was rational. 

“Somethings are worth getting blasted out of the way for. This imaginary future where you are Mrs Malfoy, living in a nice house with three kids, or how ever many you want, is not more important than the lives of innocent people. Stand up and fight for something.” He urged her.

“I am fighting for something, with every fibre of my being…it’s just not the same thing you’re fighting for.” She said sadly, and pulled him into a hug. She held on tight and he felt his eyes burning with tears. “Goodbye, Sirius.” She said, kissing his head before releasing him. He understood what Andromeda had meant about the finality…he knew that those would likely be the last two words Narcissa ever spoke to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys, I believe that I am a victim of the Mandela Effect. I was convinced that I read in OotP that Alice Longbottom was a Fortescue before she got married, but I have flicked through all seven books and can find no reference to this.


	61. 21st December 1973

“I’m not hanging around waiting for Snape.” Marlene said to Lily as they left the common room; she’d managed to stop herself calling him Snivellus just in time.

“He wasn’t invited…actually, he’s a little annoyed that you were.” Lily admitted. Marlene bit back a smile, it was worth going to Slughorn’s Christmas Party just to annoy Snape. “You know this probably means that you’ll get invited to join his club next term.”

“I’m honoured.” Marlene said dryly.

“No, they’re a lot of fun, really.” Lily said, pushing open the door to Slughorn’s office. The room was unlike Marlene had ever seen it, christmassy green and red silk covered the walls, and the room was bathed in a soft gold light. Soft music mingled with talk and laughter, and house elves weaved among the revellers with platters of food. Marlene spotted Jeremy talking to Slughorn, and when he saw her he smiled. Slughorn followed his gaze and waved them over. “Come on.” Lily said, grabbing her hand and leading the way across the room. 

“Lily! Marlene!” Slughorn boomed. “I’m so glad you came. Jeremy, Professor Gallo has been regaling me with stories about your sister’s skill in Defence Against the Dark Arts. A little duck to water.”

“Better than Jeremy, I’m sure.” Marlene grinned, and Jeremy’s face fell. 

“I’m going to get an Outstanding N.E.W.T in both Ancient Runes and History of Ma—” Marlene gave a very obnoxious yawn. 

“Now, now.” Slughorn laughed. “I’m sure your parents are very proud of you both.” 

“I’m sure they wish Marlene was in detention less.” Jeremy smirked.

“We can’t always be as boring as you are, Jezza.” Marlene said with a sweet smile, and for a moment she wasn’t sure if he wanted to laugh or jinx her. Anyway, she’d only had detention once this year; she did wonder if Jeremy realised why she’d spent so much of last year in trouble. Had he also objected to the things had Lamot said…she needed to believe that he had. 

“I taught your parents, you know?” Slughorn said. “I was a little disappointed that you’ve both ended up in Gryffindor, like your mother. Your father was a credit to Slytherin, one of my favourites.” 

“Your dad was in Slytherin?” Lily grinned. “Does James know this?”

“He does. Says he’s the only Slytherin he likes.” Marlene laughed.

“Except of course you, Professor.” Jeremy said, voice full of unction, and winking at Marlene. She was rather impressed with the dexterity with which he managed to have James’s back and kiss Slughorn’s arse at the same time. “We have a sister, she’s only eight at the moment, but maybe you’ll get her when she comes up.” 

“A man can only dream, m’boy.” Slughorn said wistfully. Marlene was sure that Jeremy was giving him false hope, she’d wager everything she owned that Nicole would also be sorted into Gryffindor.


	62. 25th December 1973

Remus woke slowly on Christmas morning, the bed was so cozy, and it felt early. He kept his eyes shut until he heard the dormitory door open and close. “Merry Christmas.” He mumbled to Lily, his voice muffled by the covers. 

Lily threw open the curtains, sending light streaming in through the window, and Remus shielded his eyes. “Don’t.” He grumbled, pushing himself up against his pillows.

“Merry Christmas.” Lily smiled, handing him a present and flopping down on to James’s bed. “What?” She asked.

“James is going to lose his mind when he comes back and finds Lily Evans on his bed.” Remus grinned. 

“Oh shut up, you’re being ridiculous.” She snapped. “Where are Tweedle Dumb and Tweedle Dee anyway?”

“Search me, I just woke up. Causing mayhem I imagine.” Remus slid his finger under the red paper and opened the present. _A Christmas Carol_ by Charles Dickens.

“Felt fitting for Christmas, and you said that you’d not read it yet.” Lily smiled, lying back and looking up at James’s Wimbourne Wasps poster. 

“Thank you.” Remus said, he got up, rummaged in his truck, and tossed her a present. The door opened again and James and Sirius returned.

“Hey, Remus, we think we’ve found—” James began, breaking off when he spotted Lily. “Morning.” 

“Do you want me to move?” Lily asked, and James shook his head.

“No Marlene?” Sirius asked, getting back into his own bed.

“I tried to wake her up and she told me to ‘get fucked.’” Lily laughed.

“That tracks.” James murmured, still standing in the doorway; Remus thought Lily might have broke him. He threw his pillow at him and James stubbled back before flushing. 

“You’re letting a draft in.” Remus snapped, James’s little crush was getting a bit pathetic now. James closed the door and dropped down onto Peter’s vacant bed, still watching Lily.

“So Lily, are you going to give us a one woman performance of The Nutcracker later?” Sirius teased.

“Sure, if you like. I’ll have you know I’m an excellent Clara.” Lily said haughtily, pushing herself up on her elbows and poking her tongue out at him. 

It was another hour before Marlene joined them down in the common room; James had tried to go and wake her up but the stairs had been impossible for him to climb…Remus thought it was rather unfair, Lily’d had no trouble getting up to their dormitory. 

“I like to sleep in on Christmas morning.” Marlene shrugged, stretching her arms up over her head with a yawn…Remus thought he recognised the jumper she was wearing as the one he’d given Sirius for his birthday last year, though he couldn’t be sure. 

“Not just Christmas morning.” James muttered under his breath, quiet enough so that she wouldn’t hear him. 

It was Remus’s first Christmas Day at Hogwarts and it had taken a lot of convincing to get his mother to let him stay; Sirius and James had both done their best to describe what it was like but neither of them had managed to do it justice. They ventured out onto the grounds for a pre-dinner snowball fight; though he spent more time trying to dodge snowballs thrown by James and Marlene, their Quidditch arms were far too good. After a couple of hours they returned to the common room to warm up and dry off before making their way down to the Great Hall. The food, always good at Hogwarts, was truly something else at Christmas…turkey, potatoes, smoked salmon, pigs in blankets…even the spouts looked delicious. They ate their fill, and then some, and that evening they sat around by the fire toasting marshmallows. Sirius tried to teach Marlene how to play chess with the set he’d bought her — there was a sadness behind his eyes as he did so but Remus couldn’t understand why, it had been such an amazing day — and Lily ended the night, after much nagging from them all, with a dance from The Nutcracker.

Remus watched them, laughing and joking, and was consumed with such a wonderful warmth. He loved these idiots so much…he loved the ones that had gone home for Christmas too, of course…and there wasn’t anything he wouldn’t do for them.


	63. 11th January 1974

Sirius hovered behind one of the bookcases watching Regulus. He was sat with Avery and Mulciber, what the fuck did they want with some stupid second year? Narcissa’s words had been eating away at him. He’d tried to brush them off, tried to convince himself that it wasn’t the same…but she was right, he did ignore Regulus.

They got up and left, leaving Regulus alone at the table. Sirius waited another minute before sitting down in one of the now empty chairs, taking his half finished star chart out of his bag and settling down to finish his homework. 

“What do you want?” Regulus asked, not looking up from his Potions book. 

“What did _they_ want? Avery and Mulciber, I mean.” 

“They’re my friends.” Regulus muttered. Madam Pince cleared her throat and they bent low over their work. 

Sirius waited for her to disappear behind a tall bookcase before speaking again. “You need better friends.” 

“My friends are fine, I need a better brother.” Regulus said so sharply that it stung.

“Reg don’t—”

“Anyway, who are you to lecture me about better friends when you’re the one hanging out with that vile little Mudblood.” He hissed. Sirius grabbed the back of Regulus neck and pulled him closer, rage bubbling up in his stomach.

“You ever call Evans that again I’ll curse your tongue right out of your mouth .” He warned, his voice deadly quiet. Regulus wrenched free of his grip. 

“Leave me alone Sirius, you’ve gotten pretty good at it.” He said coldly. Sirius spotted a copy of _Which Broomstick?_ in Regulus’s bag and pulled it out, but Regulus snatched it back. “Will you just go away?” 

“No.” Sirius said, he was going to force his company on Regulus whether he liked it or not…he wasn’t going to let Narcissa be right about him. “What have you got that for?”

“I’m going to ask Mummy for a broomstick.”

“ _Mummy_.” Sirius imitated before he could stop himself. “Do your new friends know you still call her ‘mummy’?” He sniggered. 

“Shut up. I’m going to ask Mum for a broomstick.” Regulus corrected.

“What do you want a broomstick for? You’re not thinking of trying out for the Slytherin team are you?” Sirius asked, trying and failing to keep the scoff out of his voice. “Do you even know how to fly?” 

“Leave me alone.” Regulus snarled, stuffing his homework back into his bag and storming out of the library.

“Reggie wait! I’m sorry!” Sirius called, chasing after him. Maybe he should take a leaf out of Peeves’s book and just start throwing peanuts at him.


	64. 17th February 1974

“Can I ask you something…it’s about the fire.” Dorcas added quickly, before Mary could agree, she knew it wasn’t something she liked to talk about. 

“I…yeah, go on then.” Mary said, as they walked along a deserted fifth floor corridor.

“How did you get out?” Dorcas asked. Alastor had mentioned, when they’d been discussing the fire, that Mary had gotten trapped in there. Now Dorcas was left wondering how her friend was even still alive. 

“I blasted my way out.” There was a small, proud smile on Mary’s face. “Like this.” She pointed her wand at a suit of armour and said “ _Reducto!_ ” The spell hit the suit of armour, ricocheted off, and hit a bust of an ugly warlock. The bust tottered for a moment, before falling from its plinth. Its face shattered on one side and it now stared up at them with only one eye. “Okay, not quite like that.” 

Dorcas burst out laughing and looked around to make sure the noise hadn’t attracted Filch. “Very smooth. I think we should get rid of this before any of the teachers show up, there’s a junk room on the seventh floor, there’s so much stuff in there no one will find it. Wait there.”

“Where are you going?” Mary hissed, but Dorcas was already hurrying down the corridor, and up two flights of stairs. She entered the Gryffindor corridor and spotted James.

“Can I borrow your cloak?” 

“What for?” James asked, taking it out of his bag all the same. “I need it back in half an hour, do not get it confiscated.” He warned.

“Thanks.” She said, bolting back down to the fifth floor. She threw the cloak over herself and Mary and grabbed one end of the bust. “Come on.” Mary picked up the other end and they walked as upstairs as quickly as they could, it was a lot heavier than she had been expecting. The door wasn’t there. Dorcas frowned and slipped out from under the cloak. She ran her hand over the wall, walking back and fourth. She didn’t understand, the door had been right there, she’d been in the room behind it. Did it only appear on certain days? Or at certain times. Where were they supposed to hide the stupid thing now? 

“There.” Mary said, pulling the cloak off, and pointing. Dorcas looked back, the door had appeared. The gabbed hold go the bust again and carried it inside. It was cathedral of hidden and broken objects…Dorcas would happily spend hours looking through what had to be a centuries of evidence of rule breaking. They set the bust down and Mary wandered off to look around. “This place is incredible. Hey, do you want a crown.” Something small and glittering flew through the air and Dorcas caught it. She looked down at the pretty tiara.

“You know what, I think Princess Dorcas suits me!” She laughed, moving over to a cracked mirror, wanting to try it on. 

“Dorcas, come look at this!” Mary called. Dorcas set down the tiara, and followed after Mary. She rounded a corner and saw her looking at a cage with the skeleton of some sinister five legged monstrosity. There was something deeply unsettling about it and Dorcas grabbed hold of Mary’s hand.

“Come on, let’s get out of here. James needs his cloak back.” She murmured, tearing her eyes away from the skeleton.


	65. 2nd March 1974

James was sure that Filch had deliberately picked a Hogsmeade weekend for his detention. The spiteful git, it’d only been a bit of mud. Now he was stuck cleaning the bathrooms again, only this time it was without the company of his friends. Well, it wasn’t completely without company…Moaning Myrtle had taken to following him around, offering commentary on his cleaning abilities. Her favourite was “You missed a spot!” Which sent her into fit of raucous giggles. 

“Where’s your friend, the handsome one?” Myrtle asked as James scrubbed one of the toilets in the sixth floor boys' bathroom. James bristled at this.

“ _I’m_ handsome.” He snapped irritably. Myrtle tilted her head, considering him it seemed. James ignored her, but his scrubbing became more furious.

“I suppose you’re not _too_ bad.” She eventually conceded. “A girl could certainly do worse. But that friend of yours, Sirius Black, _he’s gorgeous_.” She said with a dreamy sigh. 

“Leave me alone, Myrtle.” He hissed. 

“You missed a spot.” She said again, apparently with no intention of listening to him. 

“You’d know all about that.” James muttered. He had intended to say it under his breath, but it had come out louder than he’d expected and echoed off the tiled wall. Myrtle gave an enraged cry and dived down the toilet, sending a wave of water splashing over James. “For fuck’s sake Myrtle!” He shouted, but she was sure to be back down in her own bathroom by now. 

James stood up and, as kicked the cubicle door closed behind him, he heard a faint scream from down the corridor. He wrenched open the bathroom door and bolted in the direction of the Astronomy corridor.

“ _Stupefy_!” Mulciber shouted, pointing his wand at Mary, and she fell, unconscious against the Astronomy tower stairs. He didn’t understand why Mulciber always seemed to single out Mary, she was the sweetest person James had ever met. 

“Oi!” James shouted, drawing his own wand. Mulciber turned, he was joined by the Slytherin captain he’d sworn at last match. He looked somehow burlier and meaner back down on solid ground. 

“ _Flipendo_!”

James hit the stone wall behind him and slid down, a throbbing pain in his head. Squinting he saw his wand a few feet away but as he reached for it he felt himself lifted up in the air. Mulciber roared with laughter as he slammed against the steps beside Mary. 

“Come on, Bax.” Mulciber chuckled. James could hear them walking away, he reached out, his hand closing around Mary’s wrist. He coughed, feeling like he was going to throw up, and the Mandrake leaf fell out of his mouth. Sirius was going to kill him, they’d been so close this time, but he couldn’t worry about that now. 

“Mary.” He said, shaking her, but she didn’t move. Unable to remember the counter charm, he thought it best to take her to Madam Pomfrey. He pushed himself to his feet and hobbled over to pick up his wand. He hoisted Mary over his shoulder, feeling immensely grateful that she was on the small side, and limped down the the hospital wing, where possible, leaning against the wall for support. Madam Pomfrey revived Mary in a second but proceeded to lecture them about duelling in the corridors. James rubbed the painful lump on the back of his head and stared moodily at his shoes, he’d half expected her to give them detention, but she sent them away with a final stern glower.


	66. 2nd March 1974 .II

“I’m going to kill them.” Marlene seethed, pacing back and forth in front of one of the common room windows. “I’m actually going to fucking kill them.” 

James sighed, they’d filled the others in on what had happened when they’d returned from Hogsmeade, but now he was sorely wishing that they hadn’t. Marlene had hit the roof. “I mean it Marley, don’t go looking for trouble.” He sighed.

“Ha!” Marlene said, drawing herself up, her hands on her hips. “Who are you to tell me not to go looking for trouble when all you do is look for trouble?” 

“Sirius, back me up.” He pleaded, but there was a dark expression of Sirius’s face and James knew that the argument was already lost. 

“Marley has a point.” Sirius grinned, though the grin definitely looked forced. “You do seem to go looking for trouble.” 

“Well of course you’d agree with Marlene.” James said carefully. He wasn’t blind — well actually he might be, he’d have to tell his mum when he was next home that he thought his eyes were starting to go funny, the blackboard always seemed a bit blurry when he was sat at the back of the classroom — but he could certainly see the way Sirius looked at Marlene. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Sirius snapped. “Who was the other one? You said Mulciber and another Slytherin.”

“Baxendale.” James sighed recognising that they weren’t going to let this drop; he had a terrible headache and wanted nothing more than to be alone in a dark room. 

“That sixth year bloke? The big one?” Sirius asked, and James nodded. “Right Marls, you ready?” Sirius got to his feet. James looked to his more reasonable friends. Lily and Dorcas both had their arms folded in a way that told him they would be no help at all — he’d definitely throw this moment in Lily’s face the next time she tried to chastise them for picking fights — and Remus was looking determinedly down at his book.

“Peter?” James asked, half-heartedly. When had Peter Pettigrew ever shown any sort of backbone. 

“You are more than welcome to join us, Jamie.” Marlene said sweetly, before following Sirius out of the common room. James swore under his breath and hurried after them, someone had to keep them from getting their arses kicked.


	67. 17th May 1974

The Gryffindor team traipsed back into the common room as they had done every night that week, looking exhausted. James sunk down in to the arm chair beside Lily with a groan and took off his glasses to rub his eyes. He’d come back to school after the Easter holidays with them, and while they’d all teased him a little bit for a good few weeks, Lily didn’t think he looked so bad. 

“Straight to bed, team.” Isabelle ordered with a clap of her hands. “I want you all rested for tomorrow’s final.”

James didn’t move, he had his eyes closed and Lily wondered if he’d fallen asleep in the chair. She got up to fetch a blanket from the basket in the corner, and watched as that fifth year, Craig Platt, blocked Marlene’s way up to the girls dormitory. There was something about him that deeply unnerved Lily, but she couldn’t put her finger on what it was…all over the Easter holidays he’d been coming up with excuses to talk to Marlene. She’d tried to voice this to her, but Marlene had brushed her off every time with a giggle — ‘he’s just being friendly’, ‘what does it matter what he wants, he’s so handsome’, ‘do you think he fancies me back?’ To her relief, Marlene side stepped Craig as he wished her luck for tomorrow, and went up to bed. Lily returned to James and threw the blanket over him.

“Are you tucking me in Evans?” He grinned, not opening his eyes. Lily jumped and blushed scarlet.

“I thought you’d fallen asleep.” She admitted. James opened his eyes, and the grin vanished as abruptly as it had appeared.

“I can’t go to sleep, I’ve got a mountain of revision to do before bed.” He muttered. 

“James Potter revises?” Lily gasped playfully. “I thought revision was for us lesser mortals?” The grin was back and despite her best efforts, she felt a delightful warmth start to grow in her chest. 

“You’re right, what a moment of madness…I’d completely forgotten how brilliant I am.” He teased. He sat back up in the chair and pulled his Muggle Studies text book towards him but Lily snatched it away. “Evans.” He said, sounding half amused and half irritated. 

“You’re exhausted.” Lily said, holding the book out of his reach. He took his History of Magic book out of his bag and she grabbed that too. “I can do this all night.” 

“I know that I’m exhausted. Now give me back my books.” He sighed, he attempted to lunge for them, but sank back into the chair in defeat. 

“How about this, you go to bed now, and I’ll spend all of Sunday helping you revise?” Lily suggested, still holding the books at arms length in case he made another grab for them. James gave her such a sweet, genuine smile that Lily felt her heart skip a little. She needed to get a grip on herself, the last thing she needed was to start fancying James Potter — surely nothing good could ever come from that.

“You’re really wonderful.” James said sincerely. He pushed himself to his feet and disappeared up to the boys’ dormitory.


	68. 4th June 1974

Gryffindor’s defeat and loss of the Quidditch Cup hung heavy over the common room for a fortnight. Ravenclaw had flattened them; her friends had tried to convince her that it was just a game, but this only made Marlene feel worse. She wasn’t alone in this: James, and her other teammates, understood…they too felt as though they had let the house down. However, with the arrival of June came the arrival of exams. Marlene’d had little time to really wallow over their terrible performance with her nose in a year’s worth of notes. At breakfast on Tuesday morning, she bolted down a quick slice of toast and hurried back up to the common room. She couldn’t remember the spell to produce a Cheering charm. 

“Remus, what’s wrong?” She asked. James, Sirius, and Peter were sat around him; he looked exceptionally pale, there were dark circles under his eyes, and they’d wrapped a blanket around his shoulders. 

“Mate, you can’t sit an exam like this.” Sirius sighed. “You look awful, tell him Marls.” He did look very unwell. 

“McGonagall offered to let me reschedule them, but I told her that I’d be fine.” Remus mumbled. Marlene thought that was rather generous of her, and even more stupid of Remus to decline, even if he hadn’t been unwell, that was the sort of opportunity you took…she’d love the excuse to have a bit of extra time to prepare. 

“Wait, she knew you were going to be unwell today?” Marlene frowned.

“She saw him this morning.” James said quickly, not looking up at her. 

“This is ridiculous, I’m going to her now and telling her that you’ve changed your mind.” Sirius snapped. “Take him to the hospital wing. Stun him if you have to.” He added to James. 

“What’s wrong with him?” Marlene asked, following Sirius back out of the portrait hole, he was walking quickly, but she had no trouble keeping up. 

“Probably flu or something.” Sirius shrugged. “He started looking like shit yesterday.” 

“He’s always ill.” Marlene said. “Can’t Madam Pomfrey do something?” 

“I guess he just catches everything going round. I don’t know, Marley, I’m not a Healer.” Marlene stopped, Sirius was being so short with her this morning. He turned when he realised that she was no longer following him, and she didn’t rid herself of the dejected look in time. “I’m sorry.” He said, with what sounded like a considerable attempt at a gentler tone. “I’m in a hurry and I’ve just got a lot on my mind at the moment. I didn’t mean to snap…I’ll catch you before the Charms exam, alright?” He asked.

“I…yeah, okay.” Marlene mumbled trying not to feel hurt, didn’t he realise that he could talk to her.…about anything? She would understand. She knew that they were hiding something from her, she could feel, it but she’d given up asking James what was going on with them. The month that they hadn’t been speaking had been so awful, she didn’t want to do that ever again. Why couldn’t they just trust her with what ever was going on, had she ever let them down before? Marlene stood alone in the corridor for a moment, then she remembered why she’d gone up to the common room in the first place. Cheering charms. She wasn’t going all the way back up to Gryffindor Tower now. If she couldn’t remember the spell then she couldn’t remember it; if she had time to ask James beforehand then she would. At least if they did come up she’d feel better after the practical.


	69. 5th July 1974

Sirius waited in the square of Grimmauld Place for Laura Williams who lived at number fifteen. She wasn’t bad, not nearly as pretty as his female friends from school of course — she certainly didn’t hold a candle to Marlene — but she was a Muggle…which made her the perfect girl to incense his mother. She was a year older too, which might score him some points with his mates when he told them about her. He’d been meeting her here everyday since the summer holidays started last week, working up to this moment. His mother had been in the drawing room when he’d come outside, so she had a perfect view of the square below. Sirius looked up at his house for a moment, before kissing Laura. 

The beautiful, sunny afternoon seemed to fly by. Laura was sweet, easy to talk to and every time he kissed her he thought that maybe he could make something real out of it. Not that he wanted a girlfriend per se…more someone he could meet with to kiss from time to time. 

“I need to go home.” Laura eventually said, sounding a little disappointed by the realisation. “Will I see you again tomorrow?”

“Sure.” Sirius shrugged, and Laura’s face lit up. She gave him a quick kiss goodbye and hurried off to number fifteen. Sirius waited until the door had closed behind her before returning to his own house. His mother’s hand closed tightly around his upper arm, he looked at her. She must have been waiting for him in the hallway and her expression was furious. Sirius grinned. “Evening, Mum.” 

“You’ve gone too far this time.” She hissed, pulling him with her up the stairs. 

“She’s a really nice girl, I think you’d like her.” Sirius smirked. Her grip tightened but he didn’t care. “A sweet, wholesome Muggle girl.” 

“You will remain in your room until it’s time for you to return to school. Kreacher will bring you food once a day, and you will have access to the bathroom once a day. If you need to use the toilet in the mean time, you’ll use a chamber pot. As you can’t be trusted not to bring shame to this family while you’re out in the world, you will no longer be allowed out in the world.” She snarled. 

“Hang on, wait…” Sirius said, this was backfiring on him considerably. He hadn’t imagined that she’d lock him up, not when she normally couldn’t stand having him around. His mother ignored him and pushed him into his bedroom. Sirius heard the lock click. He pulled out his wand. “ _Alohomora_.” Nothing happened. He tried again, and again. The door remained locked. “ _Reducto!_ ” He shouted, if he couldn’t unlock it then he’d just have to blast the thing down. Nothing. 

Sirius threw himself down on the bed in frustration. What was he supposed to do all summer? His homework? Even if that was an exciting prospect, which it certainly wasn’t, there was no way that he could drag it out to make for two months of entertainment. If starvation didn’t do him in then boredom certainly would.

When he woke the next morning, hungry and miserable, his wand was gone.


	70. 29th July 1974

“Please can I come to work with you today, you won’t even know that I’m there.” Dorcas begged. Alastor turned away from the eggs and bacon still cooking in the stove, and wiped his hands on his flowery apron.

“Not today, you know I won’t be in the office. We’re raiding Susan Begbie’s home.” Alastor growled darkly. Dorcas knew this, all he’d talked about for the last month when she’d asked how work had been was the investigation into Susan Begbie. 

“Exactly! I want to come on a raid!” Dorcas said excitedly. Alastor chuckled, shaking his head slightly and turned back to the breakfast, just in time to stop it burning.

“Very good.” He said, plating up their food and joining her at the kitchen table. He sighed when the eagerness on her face didn’t dissipate and he realised that she wasn’t joking. He poured himself a cup of tea; the teapot matched his apron, she’d bought it for him last Christmas. “It’s too dangerous Dorcas.” He finally said. “I don’t mind you hanging around the office, I actually quite like having you there. But if anything were to happen to you, I’d never forgive myself. I promised your parents that I would keep you safe. You’re welcome to go into the office, you can annoy young Shacklebolt if you like?”

“It’s not the same.” Dorcas muttered. She enjoyed the Auror office, but when she knew that there was something more exciting going on… “Isn’t there, I don’t know…like work experience I can do?” She asked hopefully, and Alastor laughed. 

“Yeah, you can do some filing. We aren’t insured to take the work experience kids on Death Eater raids.” 

“I want to be an Auror, don’t you think it’ll be good for me to get some first hand experience?” Dorcas asked, adding a spoonful of sugar to her tea. She was sure that Alastor was having some internal battle with himself, sure that he was actually considering it.

“No.” He finally said. “You’re only fourteen.”

“If Mum and Dad were still alive, and you were looking after me, would you let me come with you?” Dorcas challenged, dipping her bacon moodily in her egg yoke.

“Probably.” Alastor grunted, and Dorcas’s head shot up. She hadn’t actually expected him to admit it. “But that’s not the case. I don’t get to be fun Uncle Alastor anymore. Not while you’re still fourteen.” 

“But Alastor—”

“No, Dorcas. You’re my responsibility. Find something else to do with yourself today, invite a friend over, go into the office. Do both if you like, I don’t care. But you’re coming on a blasted raid.” Alastor snapped.

Two hours later Dorcas and James stepped out of the fire in the Atrium of the Ministry. She had long since stopped drawing attention wandering around. “Shouldn’t we have used a visitor’s entrance or something?” James asked, looking up in slight awe at the gold symbols moving across the blue ceiling. It occurred to her that he’d never been here before. 

“Maybe.” Dorcas shrugged. She didn’t know how though, she’d always come here with her parents or Alastor. 

“Think of the chaos we could cause.” James whispered, linking his arm with hers as they walked towards the lifts. There had been a reason Dorcas had been reluctant to invite James to come with her but she hadn’t been able to place it at the time, and he’d been the only one around. That right there, was the reason. 

“Not too much chaos, James, please.” She muttered, this wasn’t school, if they caused too much trouble here they could get arrested. “Alastor will kill me.” Dorcas held the lift door as a wizard rushed towards them, almost completely obscured from the waist up by a large box…whatever was inside was trying with all its might to escape. 

“What have you got there, Walter?” The witch who had already been in the lift asked the wizard with the box. 

“We thought at first they were just stoats, but it looks like Lonnie Nelson has bred a stoat with a Niffler. Rounding them up was a nightmare. Took us all night, it did.” The wizard with the box yawned. Dorcas saw James’s face light up and she shot him a waring glare. The voice in the lift announced the fourth floor — the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures — and Walter and the witch stepped out. 

“How badly do you want to let those Niffler-stoats loose?” James asked her as soon as they were alone. Dorcas didn’t answer, she was too busy trying not to smile. When the lift doors opened on level two, Dorcas led James out and through the heavy oak doors into the Auror office. It was quieter than it normally was, and it seemed to take James forever to walk along one of the rows of cubicles because he kept looking in each one. 

“Hi Kingsley.” She said, when she reached his cubicle at the end of the row. 

“Dorcas! To what do I own the pleasure? Alastor’s out right now, is everything alright?” Kingsley asked, concern flitting across his face. There was always something so calming about Kingsley, even if there was something wrong, it left Dorcas with the warm feeling that he would be able to fix it.

“I know. He told me to come and annoy you.” Dorcas beamed. “This is my friend, James Potter.” 

James gave Dorcas a knowing look before shaking Kingsley’s hand and she felt her face growing slightly hot. 

“Nice to meet you James. I have a meeting now.” Kingsley said, summoning over a second chair. “I’ll only be half an hour, stay here. I don’t want you wandering off around the Ministry by yourselves.” He picked up a file off the desk and crossed through a door to the right.

“You fancy him.” James accused with a smirk as soon as Kingsley's deep purple robes had swished around the corner.

“Shut up, I don’t fancy him. I admire him.” Dorcas said, her face turning hotter still. James didn't look like he believed her. 

“He looks so cool. Do you think I should get an earring?” He asked, touching his ear thoughtfully. 

“No, you’re not cool enough. You’d just look like an idiot. More of an idiot than you already look.” She said, and he pulled his face. She watched as he untucked his t-shirt and pulled out his silvery invisibility cloak. “No.” 

“Come on.” He grinned, moving his head to keep eye contact with her as she tried to look away.

“Do I look like Sirius to you?” 

“Live a little.” James coaxed. Dorcas bit her lip, took one last look at the door Kingsley had disappeared through, and nodded. James threw the cloak over them and they hurried back in the direction of the lifts. “Have you heard from Sirius lately?” He whispered, pressing the button for the fourth floor, and Dorcas knew exactly what he was planning.

“No, have you?” 

“No, I’m getting a bit worried actually—” He stopped talking as a group of wizards got in on the third floor. When it stopped on the second they inched round them, sticking as close to the life wall as possible, trying not to even breath. As soon as the doors closed again Dorcas followed James through several doors until he found the cage of Niffler-stoats. They crept silently past the rows of desks and from under the cloak James slid the latch across the cage and opened the door.

It was pandemonium. The creatures shot out across the room, a dozen of them. Up ending ink bottles, sending papers flying through the air, gnawing the jewellery off of Ministry employees. James was doubled over in silent laughter, and Dorcas had a very hard time not seeing the funny side. 

“Come on.” She whispered. “We need to get back before Kingsley does.”

“I hope they make it to other floors. Did you see that one crawling into a vent?” James grinned.

It took them longer to return to the lifts in the chaos, but they made it back to the second floor and hurtled over to Kingsley’s cubicle. Trying to hide that they were out of breath, James wrenched off the cloak, tucked it back beneath his t-shirt and they flopped down into the chairs just as Kingsley returned. 

“Didn’t take as long as I thought.” He said, then lowered his voice to make sure they weren’t overheard. “Want to take a look at a cold case?”


	71. 16th August 1974

Hope tapped her fingers against the steering wheel. Remus looked over at her, there was a slight frown creasing her forehead. She looked nervous.

“Are you alright, Mum?” He asked.

“I’m fine, sweetheart. We’re going to have a lovely day.” She said softly, reaching over and smoothing her hand over the back of his head. Remus nodded, and went back to looking out of the window. “Do you want to play I Spy?”

“I’m fourteen, Mum.” Remus mumbled, rolling his eyes. Hope laughed, and pinched his cheek.

“Still my baby. You’re talking nonsense though, kid. I’m thirty-four and I enjoy a game of I Spy.” 

“Loser.” Remus breathed playfully.

“Oi, cheeky.” She grinned, tickling his side. Remus squirmed in his seat, trying to wriggle away from her but he didn’t get very far with his seatbelt on. They drove into London and parked in the multi-storey carpark on Brewer Street. As they walked the short way to Charing Cross Road, his mother seemed to be getting more and more anxious; fiddling with one of her large hoop earrings and adjusting the strap of her handbag.

“What wrong?” He asked. Hope sighed.

“I’ve never been into Diagon Alley without your father.” She admitted, a little reluctantly he was sure. Remus grabbed hold of her hand and gave it a squeeze. She didn’t have to worry, she was his mum, he’d always look after her. They went through the Leaky Cauldron and Remus tapped the brick to open the archway. He understood why she must feel exposed, all these witches and wizards around and having no magic herself…especially with anti-Muggle sentiment on the rise, so Remus kept his hand inside hers as they climbed the Gringotts steps. Hope took her purse from her handbag and pulled out some Muggle notes.

“Aren’t we going to the vault.” Remus frowned.

“Your father won’t have been paid yet.” Hope murmured quietly. Remus understood what that meant. It was empty. She saw the look of concern on his face and smoothed her hand over his hair once more. “Don’t worry, sweetheart. I have. Just means we’ll have to get all of your stuff second hand again this year.” She added apologetically.

“I don’t mind that.” Remus said quickly. He’d caused his parents enough trouble. He remembered what it was like before he went off to school, moving round all the time — sometimes in the dead of night — whenever anyone would get suspicious. Hope changed up her Muggle money and Remus tried not to feel bitter towards his friends…James and Sirius in particular. Those two had vaults spilling with gold right beneath his feet, while his parents were living hand to mouth. But he knew that it wasn’t fair to be bitter, they’d done so much for him, they continued to do so much for him.

“Would you like an ice cream?” Hope asked, nodding in the direction of Florean Fortescue’s place. The sun was beating down on them, and it would be so nice to sit out with a sundae and watch the other shoppers go by. 

“We can’t afford it.” Remus mumbled.

“Stop worrying, it’s a sunny day, if my little boy wants an ice cream on a sunny day then he can have one.” Hope smiled, wrapping her arm around his shoulder and kissing his head. He recognised a few people from school out and about, but he didn’t care. Let them call him a Mummy’s Boy; they wouldn’t mind either if they had Hope for a mum. They sat out beneath one of the colourful umbrellas and shared a bowl of strawberry ice cream. 

“Remus!” He looked up and saw Marlene running towards him. Was it just him or had she gotten really tall over the summer?

“Hi!” He said happily. “Mum, this is my friend, Marlene McKinnon.”

“It’s nice to meet you Mrs Lupin.” Marlene said.

“Call me Hope, Mrs Lupin makes me feel old.” Hope laughed, tucking away strand of hair that escaped its clip. 

“Hope.” Marlene corrected. “Remus, have you heard from Sirius at all?” He shook his head and Marlene started to chew on her lip. “Me neither.”

“I’m sure he’s fine, maybe they just went away. If something happened to one of the Blacks, you know the whole wizarding world would have heard about it.” Remus tried to reassure her.

“Yeah, I guess.” Marlene said, though she didn’t look very convinced. They were joined by Marlene’s mum and sister. “Mum, this is my friend Remus and his mum, Hope. Remus, Hope, this Beatrice and Nicole. Mum works for the Muggle Worthy Excuse Committee.” Marlene explained.

“You’re very good at what you do.” Hope chuckled. “If I wasn’t for my husband you’d have me completely convinced.” 

“Thank you. It’s not been easy, I can tell you.” Beatrice smiled. “Come on Marlene. We need to get on.” 

“See you on the train.” Marlene said.

“See you then.” Remus lied. It would be a full moon that day, he wouldn’t be able to get the train with his friends this year. He watched sadly as they walked away, Nicole trying to trip Marlene up as they went. “How come you and dad never had any more kids.” He asked, he’d have liked a sibling…even one that tried to trip him up. 

“There was no need.” Hope said, sounding a little taken aback by the question. “I got the perfect child first try.” Remus tried to smile, but he was sure that she was just humouring him. He was far from perfect, he’d caused his parents nothing but problem after problem. “I mean it, Remus.” She said, standing up and holding out her hand. “You are my sweet, brave boy. I wouldn’t trade you for the world, and I wouldn’t change _anything_ about you. Let’s go and get your school stuff.”

Remus beamed and took her hand.


	72. 26th August 1974

“Sirius?” Regulus called through the door. Sirius stared up at his bedroom ceiling, wishing that he had more homework to do just for something to keep him busy. 

“What?” Sirius asked, unless Regulus was going to sneak him food — a prospect so unlikely that he didn’t bother to get his hopes up — then he didn’t want to know. His stomach growled at the thought. The bowl of cold porridge, (if you could call five mouthfuls a bowl), that he’d had for breakfast felt like a lifetime ago.

“There’s a letter here for you from Marlene.” Regulus said. Sirius sat up and slid off the bed, feeling more energised than he had all summer. He didn’t have any means of replying but the thought of seeing her handwriting on the paper filled him with a strong sense of comfort.

“Can you slide it under the— Hang on, how do you know it’s from Marlene?” Sirius demanded. He was feeling slightly hot but couldn’t figure out why, he doubted there was anything Marlene would say to him that would be embarrassing. 

“Oh, I read it. I’m getting bloody sick of her owl though, I had to wrestle this letter off of it. The damn thing pecked me half to death.” Sirius felt a wave of affection for Gwendolen. “Here, I’ll read it out to you.” Regulus added more cheerfully. “‘ _Dear Sirius, I’m starting to get a little worried now. This is now the fourth letter that written to you and you’ve still not replied. If I’ve done something to upset you then I’m so sorry, it was never my intention. Though, James and Remus both say that they haven’t heard from you either. You don’t have to talk to me…just write back and let me know that you’re safe. Or write and tell James. I really hope that you’re okay, I couldn’t bear it if anything happened to you. Love, Marlene._ ’” Regulus cackled horribly at this last line.

‘ _Love, Marlene._ ’ Sirius thought. She ‘ _couldn’t bear it if anything happened’_ to him. No, she would think that about any of them if they weren’t responding to letters. “Give it back.” He snarled, slapping his hand against the locked door in frustration. 

“I think I’ll reply for you.” Regulus said. Sirius saw the shadow on the floor move as Regulus sat down on the other side of the door. “‘ _Dear Marleen’_ I’ve spelt her name wrong, a nice touch, if I do say so myself.” Sirius could hear the grin in Regulus’s voice and wrenched uselessly at the door handle. “‘ _I received all of your letters and I can’t believe it’s taking you this long to get the hint, I thought you were more intelligent than this…Honestly, I’m quite amused that you still felt the need to write again, who knew that you were this pathetic. I’m embarrassed to admit that I ever fancied you, I must have been out of my mind to like a girl as_ ’ Should I put stupid or ugly? Which would she be more offended by?”

“Regulus!” Sirius shouted, hammering his fist against the door. 

“I’m going to go with ugly, ‘ _ugly as you. Not to worry, I’ve come to my senses over the summer and I no longer have any need to keep you around. Don’t be too disheartened, you could try that seventh year, Otto Bagman, apparently he’s so desperate he’ll shag anything with a pulse…even a—_ ’ wait, is cunt spelt with a ‘c’ or ‘k’? I’ve never had to write it down before.”

Sirius was now punching the door so hard that his knuckles were leaving bloody smears on the wood. “I’m going to fucking kill you, you little shit! You think I need my wand? I’m going to reach down your throat and tear out your fucking organs.” 

“‘ _cunt like you. Sincerely. Sirius._ ’ I think she’ll love it.”

“Regulus!” He could hear him walking down the stairs. “Regulus get back here you little shit!” 

Marlene lay on the grass in her garden next to James. It was a gloriously hot afternoon, and she was enjoying sitting out in the sun. A shadow appeared over them and she opened her eyes.

“What do you want, Nicole?” Marlene asked, trying to shoo her away with a lazy hand.

“I’m bored.” She whined. Marlene rolled her eyes, and Nicole sat down on James’s raised knees. “Can’t we play a game?”

“How about hide and seek, Nik Nak.” James suggested, Marlene was about to glare at him when he winked at her. “You go and hide and we’ll come find you.” 

“I’m not falling for that one again.” Nicole snapped. Marlene reached over, took James’s glasses off and put them on her own face. Nicole became rather blurry.

“How about we drop you off some place at random, and you have to find your way home?” Marlene suggested. Her parents would kill her, she was supposed to be looking after Nicole. 

“Can I go to the shop?” Nicole asked. “I promise I won’t tell Mum and Dad you let me go by myself.” 

“Sure.” Marlene shrugged. It would get her out of their hair. “There’s some Muggle change in the top draw next to the sink.”

“Bring us back a pick 'n’ mix!” James called as Nicole hurried inside. “Is that Gwendolen?” James asked pointing up at the sky and squinting. Marlene could no better tell than he cold so she handed him back his glasses. Sure enough Gwendolen descended through the air.

“Sirius must have finally written back.” Marlene said eagerly, relief washing over her. Gwendolen dropped the letter on her stomach, but Marlene ignored it, her feathers were all ruffled. She sat up and ran her hands over the owl, stretching out her wings. Gwendolen didn’t seem to be injured. She gave Marlene’s fingers an affectionate nibble before taking off and soaring into the cool shade of the kitchen. As Marlene read she felt the ground slipping away from beneath her. Sirius was done with her? She tried to blink away tears, brushing away one that had escaped down her cheek. 

“Marley, what’s wrong?” James asked. When she didn’t answer he snatched the letter from her. “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me!” James shouted. “This is…”

Marlene lay back down, tuning James out as he went off on one. Frowning, she looked at the envelope…was it his hand writing though? Sirius’s was softer, more elegant…she _adored_ his handwriting. Her eyes slid over her misspelled name, it was certainly similar, but the writing was slightly more jagged that she was sure she’d ever seen his.


	73. 1st September 1974

Marlene dried her hands, opened the bathroom door as the train started to to move, and came face to face with Sirius. He looked terrible. Gaunt. His hair was longer and untidier than she'd ever seen it and he had dark circles under his eyes. 

“Sirius.” She breathed. 

“James said you’d gone to the bathroom, I need to talk to you.” There was an urgency in his voice. He stepped forwards, backing her into the bathroom and closed the door behind them. “Listen, I—”

“What happened to you?” Marlene demanded, cutting him off. “You look half starved!”

“My parents locked me up.” Sirius’s face crumpled and Marlene pulled him into her arms, he felt _so thin._ Well, that would explain why he hadn’t responded to any of her letters until _that_ letter. Marlene was almost sure that he hadn’t written it. When she’d gotten over the initial shock, and stopped crying…not that she’d ever admit the latter to him…she’d been fairly sure that it hadn’t been his handwriting. James had said as much when he’d read it (after a little rant), he’d also pointed out that Sirius would never talk to her like that. 

“I got your letter.” She said, hoping to lighten the mood. Sirius wrenched himself out of her arms.

“It wasn’t me. I swear Marlene, it wasn’t me, I didn’t write it. I’d never—” He said quickly.

“I know.” Marlene said, touching his cheek. “I know it wasn’t you.” She did now anyway. There had been part of her that still worried, deep down, that he’d written it. But the look on his face now…she knew it hadn’t been him. “When you say your parents locked you up…”

“In my room, I tried to get out but none of the spells I know would work on the door, then they took my wand. They had our house elf bring me food once a day.” He muttered. “I didn’t know you’d been writing to me.”

“Oh Sirius.” Marlene said softly. “I’m so sorry.” She had never been this close to him while they were alone before. There was barely two inches between them. If she’d wanted she could have tilted her head and kissed him; she knew that she shouldn’t, it was a terrible idea.

“I could never say that stuff about you.” He was even closer now. A tear rolled along his nose and and she felt it hit her collarbone. Marlene nodded.

“Everyone has been so worried about you. You should go and tell them what happened.” She said, putting and end to whatever that moment had been, and handing him some toilet roll to wipe his eyes. “And I’m going to find the trolley lady and buy you a hundred pumpkin pasties.” To her relief Sirius laughed. She wasn’t quite sure just yet how to handle a tearful Sirius Black, he was usually all jokes and recklessness. He was just hungry, she was sure that he’d feel better when he’d had something to eat. “Tomorrow morning Jamie can give you a hair cut. He’s really very good at it…” She said, brushing his hair out of his face. “Then you’ll feel like yourself again.” She added, not knowing if this was true, but it felt like a reassuring thing to say. 

“Let James cut my hair…have you seen _his_ hair. It’s always a mess.” Sirius said raising his eyebrows.

“He doesn’t cut his own hair, anyway, James’s hair is a lost cause. Drives Mrs Potter p—” She broke off abruptly, and Sirius’s eyes were suddenly alive.

“Go on, say it. You know you want to.” He grinned. Marlene shook her head. “It will make me feel better.” He added.

Marlene sighed. “It Drives Mrs Potter potty.” She said, trying unsuccessfully to keep her mouth from turning up in a smile. Sirius laughed; there was something so warm in his laugh. “Hey,” she said as Sirius opened the bathroom door, “James and Dorcas set a bunch of magical creatures loose in the Ministry, it was chaos. Mum was telling me, took them two days to put everything right and round them up.” If he’d been smiling before, it was nothing compared to now. It was wonderful to see some life back on his handsome face. There was a wolf whistle and a giggle from the closest compartment and it suddenly occurred to Marlene what it looked like. Her and Sirius coming out of the bathroom together. Shit. 

“I’m going to get you some food. I’ll see you back in the compartment.” She muttered before hurrying down the train, thinking that it would be best to put as much distance between them as possible. 

When she returned he was recounting his story to the other Gryffindors.

“—caught me kissing this Muggle girl from down the street.” 

Marlene’s armful of food nearly spilled out onto the floor. James was grinning appreciatively, but catching her eye, he composed his face. She felt like she’d missed a step. _Get a grip._ She told herself firmly. Sirius Black could kiss whoever he wanted. She dropped the food in his lap — he smiled that beautiful smile at her and she felt her heart flutter slightly — and went and sit next to James.

“Did Remus miss the train?” She whispered and James shook his head. 

“His Mum’s ill, he’s going to get to school when he can.” He murmured. Marlene nodded, she hoped that…Hope (she grinned a little at the thought) would be okay, she’d seemed so lovely. 

Marlene had thought, on the Hogsmeade platform, that she was imagining people whispering about her. However, by the time they were all seated in the Great Hall, it became clear that she wasn’t. After the sorting, as Dumbledore called for order to make his announcements, Bertha leaned across two new little first years. 

“Hey, Marlene, did you and Sirius have sex in that bathroom on the train?” She whispered. Marlene flushed scarlet.

“No we didn’t!” She said, louder than she’d meant to, and at the look on Sirius’s face she kicked him under the table. “Don’t you dare smirk—”

“When Miss McKinnon has quite finished.” Dumbledore said pointedly. She fell silent, still fuming. “I would like to like to introduce our new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher, Professor Babworth.” Marlene barely registered the wizened old man at the staff table.

“I was hoping Professor Gallo would change her mind about just teaching for the one year.” Lily whispered. So had Marlene.


	74. 12th September 1974

“Come with me.” Bertha said urgently, grabbing hold of Marlene’s forearm as she crossed the grounds to head on up to dinner. Marlene wrenched it free. Why would she go anywhere with Bertha Jorkins of all people. “You’re going to want to see this.” She added.

“Fine.” Marlene muttered, following her in the direction of the greenhouses. If she’d felt like she’d missed a step on the train, she now felt like she’d fallen down the stairs. Sirius was snogging Florence Fortescue behind Greenhouse Three. She supposed she couldn’t _blame_ Florence. Sirius looked better than he ever had, especially with his hair cut back to normal…and the fact that he didn’t look like he was about to drop dead from hunger at any second. And Florence was _fairly_ pretty. Sirius was free to snog anyone…so then why did it feel like she’d just been punched in the stomach?

“He’s cheating on you.” Bertha said in a gleeful whisper.

“We’re not together.” Marlene hissed, tearing her eyes away from the kissing couple. She turned on her heel and stormed back up to the castle. She was being selfish; she didn’t want to go out with Sirius — he was just her friend — but she didn’t want anyone else to go out with him either. She didn’t want to kiss him…well, not usually anyway…but she didn’t want him snogging anyone else. 

“Marlene, what’s wrong?” Remus asked as she past him in the Entrance Hall. Marlene ignored him. It also wasn’t fair, she thought savagely as she climbed the marble staircase unable to face dinner, that Sirius Black, who was apparently snogging girls left, right and centre, was some big hero, when she — who had never even kissed a boy yet — had suddenly been branded the school slut. Well, she’d kissed one once but that had been a dare but so it didn’t count.

“I hate him.” She snapped in frustration as she stepped carefully over the trick step on the shortcut up to Gryffindor Tower.

“Well said, girl.” Responded a bespectacled witch in a portrait on the wall beside her. It took Marlene by such surprise that she had to grab hold of the bannister to keep herself from toppling backwards. It had also been a lie. She didn’t hate him at all. 

“What are you so happy about?” James asked as Sirius flopped down in one of the armchairs after dinner. 

“Nothing.” Sirius grinned, still debating whether he should tell them all, maybe he should wait until the girls weren’t around…come to think of it where _was_ Marlene. 

“He was just kissing Florence behind the greenhouses!” Bertha called over, evidently eavesdropping on their conversation.

“Shut up, Bertha!” Sirius snapped.

“I saw you! So did Marlene, she’s upstairs sobbing her poor little heart out.” Bertha cackled. Sirius felt his heart drop down into his stomach. Marlene was crying? Or was this just Bertha stirring shit like she normally did. “Not sure about your taste though. Marlene is a slag—” James jumped to his feet so fast that he upended his ink bottle all over his Charms homework just as Lily shouted “Watch it!” Bertha looked at them for a moment, seemingly unconcerned, before turning back to Sirius. “—and Florence is about as interesting as a plain scone…though you did look like you were trying to eat her so—”

“I said shut up.” Sirius hissed, drawing his wand as he stood up. 

“Shall I go and tell Marlene that her face wasn’t all you wanted to ea—”

“ _Densaugeo!_ ” Sirius shouted. The spell hit Bertha and her teeth began to grow rapidly. She screamed and covered her mouth, before dashing from the common room. At least it had shut her up. He rounded on Lily. “Is Marlene really crying upstairs?” Lily raised her eyebrows and he quickly lowered his wand, realising that he was now pointing it at her face. 

“I…” Lily hesitated. He took that as a yes.

“Go and fetch her.” Sirius demanded, but Lily shook her head.

“She wants to be left alone.” 

“Fine.” Sirius muttered. “Fine.” He grabbed his school bag and stalked back through the portrait hole.

“Oi!” He turned at the sound of James’s voice. “Did you really kiss Florence?”

“Yeah.” Sirius shrugged, unable to work out why James looked so angry. “Why, do you fancy her or something?” 

“Of course I don’t.” James snarled. “You know, for someone so smart you really can be thick as shit. You need to make things right with Marley, she’s having such a hard time of it at the moment.”

Sirius resented this. Had he not just tried? Had he not asked Lily to go and get her? Okay, he probably should have asked nicer. “I don’t _need_ to do anything.” Sirius snapped. It took a great deal of effort not to cower under the look that James gave him. “Look, I’m sure there are plenty of guys who want to go out with her, she’s beautiful, she can snog who ever she wants.” Even as he said it, the thought of her with the that sixth year who kept chatting her up, Craig Platt, reared something ugly inside him that he couldn’t quite explain.

“You really are thick as shit.” James muttered returning to the common room and leaving him alone in the corridor.


	75. 30th September 1974

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for minor non-con in this chapter.

Marlene didn’t look round at the sound of the door opening and closing as she applied lipstick in the bathroom mirror until the person spoke.

“Hi.” Avery said. 

“Get out of here, this is a girls’ bathroom.” She snapped. “What do you want?”

“I thought you liked doing it in bathrooms?” Avery leered. Marlene glared at him, this was getting ridiculous. Avery closed the distance between them and trapped her against the corner sink. 

“Go away.” Marlene hissed, reaching in her robes for her wand, but it was still in her school bag three feet away, completely useless to her. 

“You might as well.” Avery said softly, his hot breath brushing against her cheek. “I’m going to tell everyone we did it anyway.” She tried to step further back but there was nowhere left to go. Avery reached up and tucked hair behind her ear.

“Please, Avery.” She begged, he just smirked. He was enjoying himself. 

“So you’ll spread your legs for Sirius Black but not me? What makes that pathetic little prick so much better, huh?” Avery demanded. Marlene felt fear turn to rage in an instant, she drew back her fist and punched him hard in the face. Avery stumbled backwards against the wall of cubicles.

“He’s never trapped me in a bathroom for a fucking start.” Marlene snarled, grabbing her bag as she fled back out into the busy corridor. 

She was a quarter of an hour early for Charms but she didn’t care. Her heart was pounding in her chest and her hand was throbbing painfully. She tried her best to compose herself, but she doubted her friends would buy it. They gradually joined her, and the smile fell from James’s face as soon as he caught her eye. He always knew when something was wrong. 

“What happened?” He asked sharply, dropping into the chair next to her. 

“More importantly, what happened to your hand? You’ve punched someone.” Sirius said, grabbing her wrist to show James her red knuckles. Marlene flinched and pulled out of his grip. 

“Don’t grab me.” She hissed, furiously blinking away tears. 

“Marley—” He thought that was about Florence. She could see it in his hurt expression. They hadn’t discussed it at all and things between them were, for the most part, perfectly pleasant; Marlene was just doing her best to pretend that she hadn’t seen anything, and Sirius seemed to be taking his queue from her…

“Marley,” Lily hissed furiously, “Avery told Sev that you just had sex with him in the girls bathroom on the fourth floor. I called him a liar, but please tell me that you didn’t.” 

“For fucks sake.” Marlene snapped, slamming her book down on the table more forcefully than she’d meant to. 

“Well?” Sirius asked.

“Of course I fucking didn’t.” Marlene spat, Avery was vile. “He cornered me in the bathroom, so I punched him in the face.” 

James’s eyes flashed. “He did what?”

“It’s fine, just leave it alone James.” She sighed. 

“Leave it alone? You’re kidding, right? Would you leave it alone if it was me?” James challenged. 

Marlene glared at him. “Yes I would.” She said, though this was a total lie. Of course she wouldn’t have left it alone. She’d gone after Mulciber and Baxendale after they’d attacked him and Mary. 

“You really punched Avery?” Sirius asked with obvious admiration. Before she could answer Flitwick began the register. She waved her hand in Sirius’s direction, then dipped her quill in her ink bottle and wrote ‘ _felt pretty good too_ ’ on the first page of his book. No, what was pissing her off more than anything else, was that _most_ of the school had gradually found other things to gossip about, now Avery was going to start it all up again. She needed a thicker skin…she supposed if the train incident proved anything, it was that eventually they’d get bored of this story too.


	76. 19th October 1974

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The idea for the chapter was suggested by [more1weasley](https://archiveofourown.org/users/more1weasley) and I am so grateful!! I had so much fun writing it!

“Go on Marley, go to Honeydukes for us.” James whined, she was the only one of the eight Gryffindors who hadn’t been banned from the first Hogsmeade weekend. It had been worth it, jinxing Avery, though seven different jinxes all at once had put him in the hospital wing for a week while Madam Pomfrey tried to put him right. Honestly, he was quite surprised McGonagall had settled on a one off ban and month of detentions. 

Marlene looked out of the window and snorted. “Look at the sky, the heavens are about to open.”

“You don’t have to go outside to get to Honeydukes.” Sirius reminded her with a grin.

“No, I want to finish my Defence Against the Dark Arts homework. It’s due on Monday and you _know_ Isabelle is going to keep us on the pitch all day tomorrow.”

“I’ll do it for you.” James offered, any excuse to put off finishing Slughorn’s essay. He was going to try and get Lily to look over that one for him. 

“No way, it won’t even be half as good.” Marlene said flicking her hair dramatically over her shoulder. James swore at her. 

“I think I’ve got a couple of Chocolate Frogs upstairs in my trunk if you want one?” Mary offered.

“Nah, it’s alright Mackers.” James said, what he really wanted was some Pepper Imps. Mary sighed, clearly thrilled to see the nickname had made a sudden renewal. 

“Can I have one?” Peter asked. “James, can I look at your Charms homework?” He added, frowning down at his own parchment. “I’m half a foot short.”

“Sure, it’s in my bag somewhere.” He said, reluctantly pulling his Potions homework back towards him.

“What’s this?” Peter asked. James looked up and saw him holding the homework planner his parents had bought him, his name engraved into the leather in fancy gold lettering. It was nice, he supposed, but did they really think he was ever going to use a homework planner?

“Homework planner.” James shrugged.

“Why does it say James _Fleamont_ Potter?” Peter smirked, James felt his face growing hot and made a grab for it but Sirius was faster. 

“Your middle name is Fleamont?” Lily giggled, at the look he gave her and Dorcas they both tried, unsuccessfully, to suppress their laughter.

“It’s very pretty.” Remus said in a solemn voice.

“I just figured the F stood for Frederick or Francis or something, neither are particularly great but _Fleamont_?” Sirius grinned. James ignored him and glared at Marlene, waiting for her to pile on as he was sure she was bound to.

“Hey, don’t look at me, I kept my word, I didn’t say a thing.” She said raising her hands defensively. He had made her promise before they’d started school not to tell anyone, swearing that if she did he would never speak to her again. He was sure that she knew he’d never be able to follow through with that threat, but she had at least kept his middle name to herself. “Honestly, I think I deserve a fucking medal.”

“You knew?” Sirius asked.

“Obviously.” Marlene shrugged. “I know everything about him.” James became suddenly very aware of the Mandrake leaf in his mouth, and rubbed the back of his neck. 

“It’s my dad’s name.” James muttered defensively. “It's a family name.” 

“You feeling itchy, James?” Sirius teased and the others burst into another round of laughter. 

“I hate every single one of you.” He muttered, snatching his Charms essay back from Peter and the planner back from Sirius. “Stop it.” He snapped at Marlene as she started scratching at her forearm with smirk. “There are worse names than Fleamont, your family hardly have a shining track record, Sirius.”

“Yeah, but _my_ name is great. And unless one of us here secretly has Snivellus as a middle name, you still have the worst one in the room.”

“Sirius.” Lily warned. 

“I wouldn’t brag too much, Orion looks like onion when it’s written down.” James muttered. “Can I get you a tissue?” Sirius opened his mouth and closed it again.

“It only looks like Onion when _you_ write it because your handwriting is barely legible.” Sirius said. This wasn’t true, okay his handwriting wasn’t great, but James had seen his name written down by other people and it still looked like Onion. 

“You know mine, Jamie, Beatrice. I’m with Sirius on this one, you’ve got it way worse.” Marlene grinned.

“Stop. It.” He told Lily as she scratched her shoulder. “What’s yours then?” 

“Juliet, my parents are big Shakespeare lovers but pretty boring ones.” Lily laughed. “I mean there are far better Shakespeare names they could have picked…Like Beatrice.” She added, nodding at Marlene. 

“You know, I was really hoping when you started talking then you were going to say Jasmine, you know, keep it nice and floral.” Dorcas grinned.

“My Mum and Dad aren’t as cruel as Potter’s.” Lily said sweetly as James pulled a face at her. “Petunia got—”

Remus crossed his fingers and whispered, “Cleopatra, Cleopatra, Cleopatra.”

“Gertrude. If you’d met her, Remus, you’d know she’s no Cleopatra.” Lily laughed.

“What about you Dorcas?” James asked, privately he thought that the name Dorcas left plenty of room for teasing, but as brave as he was — and he did consider himself to be very brave — he wasn’t quite brave enough for that. 

“Dorcas Grace.” Dorcas shrugged. Actually, James thought, a name had never suited anyone better. 

“Mine’s Richard.” Peter piped up.

“I knew you were a Dick.” Marlene said without missing a beat and they all laughed; even Peter, who had gone slightly red, smiled a little bit. 

“What’s your name, Mackers?” James asked as Mary reentered the common room and threw a Chocolate Frog to Peter.

“Mary.” Mary frowned.

“Mary, Mary? Are you feeling quite contrary?” Lily asked, all but Remus looked at her in confusion. “Muggle nursery rhyme.” She explained with a shrug.

“Mary Victoria.” Mary clarified.

“With a name that Royal you could marry Prince Charles.” Lily grinned.

“I think he might be slightly too old for me.” 

“I don’t know Mary, I’ve seen a photo of him, I’d put him around the same age as Kingsley Shacklebolt and that hasn’t stopped Dorcas going weak at the knees whenever he walks into a room.” James grinned, dodging the cushion that Dorcas threw at him. 

“Even if I did fancy Kingsley, which I don’t.” Dorcas said in a dignified voice. “He’s far better looking than that Muggle prince so it doesn’t count. What about you, Remus?” She added, obviously wanting to get off the subject of Kingsley.

“If it’s Romulus, I’m going to lose my mind. Your name already sounds like your parents _expected_ you to have four paws and a tail.” Peter grinned. James froze, he had caught the inflection in Peter’s words, but he wasn’t sure if the others had. 

“What do you mean?” Mary asked.

“I think he means because of the story.” Sirius said quickly, catching James’s eye. Clearly it hadn’t been lost on him either. “You know, Romulus and Remus, you’re remembering it wrong though, Peter, they were just raised by wolves, they, themselves, weren’t wolves.” 

He had to admit that was some fast thinking of Sirius’s part, but James didn’t like the unreadable expression on Lily’s face as she looked at Remus. He was going to kill Peter, how could he be so fucking stupid? 

“It’s John.” Remus mumbled.


	77. 3rd November 1974

Sirius woke slowly on his birthday, he pulled his dressing gown on over his pyjamas and looked out of the window. Snow had started falling gently, the earliest in the year he could remember it starting. He was sure Marlene was already out in it. 

“Thought we’d leave you sleep.” James said, as he entered the virtually empty common room. “Happy Birthday.” He said, handing over a present. 

All of them had gotten him items to make up his annual Muggle wardrobe. Except Marlene. He opened the small package from her curiously. It was a small penknife.

“It can unlock any lock, you know in case your parents lock you up again next summer.” She shrugged. Sirius didn’t know what to say. Aside from being incredibly useful, it was the most thoughtful gift anyone had ever given him. “You said _alohomora_ didn’t work on the door, so…”

“Thank you, Marls.” He said, getting to his feet and pulling her into a hug. She gripped the back of his dressing gown so tightly, and held on far longer than he’d expected her to. Her hair was damp from the snow and smelled like her citrusy shampoo. She’d definitely gotten taller over the summer too, he could really notice it now. He heard the click of James’s camera, and looked up to see Mary waving it at them. Lately they’d been passing round constantly, James had rolls and rolls of film to develop. They all knew why, though they’d never voiced it — they wanted photos to remember the good times if one of them was the next obituary in the paper. Marlene, now slightly pink in the cheek, stepped back out of his arms. 

He’d been miserable. They’d had another failure in the Animagus process that had left him in a foul mood; while they’d completed the first step — all having kept the Mandrake leaves in their mouths for a month — the night had been cloudy, meaning they couldn’t prepare the potion, and they’d had to start again with new leaves. The worst part was, there was no one Sirius could blame this time…Peter hadn’t swallowed it…James hadn’t spat it out in a fit of guilt (something he’d done frequently since they’d decided to do this)… this time, it was just bad luck. He wasn’t going to let this defeat him though, if the others got tired, then they could give up, he wouldn’t hold it against them. But he was now determined to become an Animagus if it was the last thing he ever did. 

But Marlene, and this gift, had left him feeling lighter than he had done in days.

He caught James watching him with a frown as he watched Marlene, and Sirius scratched the back of his neck awkwardly. He quickly gathered up his presents and took them up to the dormitory, not wanting to trigger James into a lecture about leaving Marlene alone. Though, Sirius sincerely doubted that she would stand for that sort of thing — when had she ever let him tell her what to do? 

She’d been _jealous_ when she’d seen him with Florence, not that she was admitting it, but he was starting to think that maybe she had been…though, she’d not been acting any differently towards him than usual, not really anyway. 

He returned to the common room but she was gone. “Where’s Marley?” He frowned. 

“Craig asked her to go for a walk.” Lily said, her lips pursed in disapproval.

“What’s she gone and agreed to that for?” Sirius snapped. Craig was a creep, he was a bit of a git…quite full of himself really…and not even that good looking. And too old for her. 

“She fancies him.” Mary giggled. 

“ _Why?_ ”

“Are you _jealous_ , Sirius?” Mary grinned.

“Don’t be ridiculous, Mackers.” Jealous? He wasn’t _jealous_ , Marlene could just do loads better than _Craig Platt_.


	78. 19th November 1974

“Where have you been?” Lily asked as Marlene caught up with her on the first floor. Marlene grinned, linking her arm with Lily’s, she felt giddy.

“With Craig, he asked me out.” Marlene said, why should Sirius get to have all the fun? “He’s taking me out on a date next Hogsmeade weekend.” She saw Lily purse her lips and sighed. “Don’t Lily. I know he’s not your favourite person, but I like him.” 

“I just think that you could do better, he gives me a bad feeling Marley.” Lily mumbled.

“Look, the boys in this school aren’t exactly covering themselves in glory with me right now.” Marlene muttered. Craig had been so nice to her, though. 

“What’s James going to say?” Lily asked, lowering her voice as they approached the classroom, Marlene stared at her. She never thought she’d see the day when Lily Evans pulled the James card. 

“I’m sure I know what James is going to say word for word, but he is certainly not my keeper.” Marlene hissed. 

“Sure you know what James is going to say about what?” James asked as they filed into their Transfiguration classroom.

“About her going out with Craig Platt.” 

“ _Lily!_ ” Marlene gasped. 

“You can’t go out with Craig he’s—

“—too old for you.” Marlene finished for him, rolling her eyes and sitting down.

“Well, yeah!” James said. “He’s sixteen, you’re only fourteen.”

“Actually, I think it was his birthday the other day. He’s seventeen.” Lily said and James started gesturing at her wildly.

“See!” He said. “Way too old!”

“If I wanted your opinion Jamie, I’d ask for it.” Marlene said, picking her bag back up and leaving the two of them sitting at a the table together. She dropped into the chair beside Sirius.

“What business has a sixth year got going out with a fourth year?” Sirius frowned.

“Don’t you start as well.” Marlene warned, starting to stand back up.

“Miss McKinnon, you seem to be confusing my class with a game of Musical Chairs. Sit back down.” McGonagall said. “Mr Banks can you please hand out the hedgehogs. Today you will be turning them into pincushions.” She said, as Felix moved among them with the large box.

“It’s no fun sitting next to you in Transfiguration.” Marlene muttered under her breath.

“Now you know how we all feel sitting next to you in Defence Against the Dark Arts.” Sirius grinned.

“Shut up.” She said, trying not to smile. She was finding that it was very hard to stay mad at Sirius, especially when he said stuff like that. As she had predicted, he’d had no trouble with the hedgehog, managing to turn it into a pincushion first try. Marlene had thought that she’d managed to do the same until she’d gone to stick a pin in and the stupid thing began to quiver. “Don’t you dare laugh.” Sirius quickly composed his face.

There was a soft meow as a tabby cat wandered in through the half open classroom door and jumped up onto Claire Lowe’s lap. 

“Watch this.” Sirius whispered, as McGonagall told Claire that she needed to take the cat out of the room, and she heard him mutter something under his breath. There was a soft whooshing noise and the cat morphed into a tiger. Claire’s chair splintered beneath her and she crashed to the floor. There was moment’s stunned silence and then Claire started to scream. In a mad dash, those sat closest to her tripped over their chairs in an effort to put as much space between them and the tiger as humanly possible. The tiger dived, trying to shoot under McGonagall’s desk but, clearly not realising it was no longer ten inches tall, upended it completely. McGonagall waved her wand and the tiger shrank back to a cat and streaked from the room.

“ _Sirius Black!_ ” McGonagall snarled, looking remarkably like the tiger herself. “Wait for me out in the corridor! Miss Bennett, Mr Banks, will you please take Miss Lowe to the hospital wing.” Diana nodded and they helped a shaking, sobbing Claire from the room; whether she was too shocked or too injured to walk herself, Marlene wasn’t sure. She had never seen McGonagall look so angry. “Please gather the hedgehogs together and put them back in them back in their box. And tidy the classroom up.” She instructed before striding out of the room and slamming the door behind her. She needn’t have bothered.

“Of all the reckless and stupid things you have done!” They heard her shout. “What on earth—”

“How do you know it was me?” Sirius asked. This, Marlene thought, was a stupid question. She doubted anyone else in their class would be able to turn a cat into a tiger. 

“Explain yourself. Now!”

“It was just a laugh…aren’t you just a little bit impress—” Sirius broke off, Marlene could imagine the look McGonagall was giving him all too well, she’d have shut up too. 

“I should suspended you! You are to go to the hospital wing and apologise to Miss Lowe. I will see you in my office tonight at eight for the first of your detentions.”


	79. 30th November 1974

Remus dressed, his body aching. It was freezing cold in the Shrieking Shack and he couldn’t wait to get back up to the warm common room, he just had to convince Madam Pomfrey that he was fine first…He also didn’t fancy spending all of his Saturday in the hospital wing. What he needed right now was the company of his friends, and Madam Pomfrey was always funny about visitors. Remus needed to keep himself from getting his hopes up. His friends might never succeed in becoming Animagi…and at any rate, he knew it was wrong for him to hope for it. It was so dangerous, they could do themselves some real damage in the attempt. Yet, the idea that he might be able to have company during the full moon was such a wonderful thought. The idea that a day might come when he wouldn’t have to wake up cold and alone…

Remus accepted the blanket from Madam Pomfrey but shrugged off her hand as tried to grip his elbow. “I don’t feel too bad this time.” He assured her. It wasn’t strictly true, but it also didn’t feel like a lie either. She insisted on giving him a once over all the same. 

To his great surprise, Lily was waiting for him outside the hospital wing as he left. “Thought you could use a cup of tea.” She smiled. Remus took the mug from her suspiciously. He thought there was something knowing in look on her face, but what was he supposed to say — ‘Morning, Lily, have you worked out I’m a werewolf?’ Yeah, _that_ would be a good idea. 

“Thanks.” He said, taking a sip from the mug. It was so immensely soothing, sometimes he thought there was nothing in the world that couldn’t be cured by a good cup of tea. 

“I corrected your Potions homework for you.” She said, as they made their way back to the common room. “Strengthened up your conclusion as well. I didn’t know if you’d want me to go rooting through your bag, so I asked James to get it for me.” 

“You didn’t have to do that.” Remus said, though he was very grateful. “Both the bag or the homework…Thank you.”

“I know, but I wanted to. You…you weren’t feeling well.” She said. They reached the common room and Lily went off to sit with Marlene and Dorcas. 

“Remus, have you eaten? You want me to go get you something from the kitchens?” 

“I— What?” He was still watching Lily. He looked round at Sirius. 

“Do you want me to go and get you some breakfast?” Sirius asked. Remus shook his head, and went to join Sirius, James, and Peter by the fire, grateful of the warmth. 

“I’m not hungry, it’s fine.” Remus said, watching as James drew on a bit of parchment. It looked a little bit like a floor plan of Gryffindor Tower. “What are you doing?” He frowned.

“We’ve had this idea.” James said in a hushed voice. “Now, it’s going to sound insane…but hear us out.” 

Remus rubbed his hand over his forehead, he wasn’t sure how many more of their insane ideas his stress levels could take. “Go on?” He asked.


	80. 13th December 1974

Marlene stretched in the arm chair and tossed her book down on the table. At least it was nearly the end of term. “How was your detention?” She asked Sirius as he flopped down in the chair opposite her. 

“Not too bad, lines again.” Sirius said, flexing his hand. “Think my hand has seized up though, not sure how she expects me to do my Transfiguration homework.” 

“You should have thought about that before you turned the cat into the tiger, just to prove that you could.” Marlene laughed. She had to admit, it had been quite funny. Claire had been fine, mostly shock and bruises, but Madam Pomfrey had put her right. It took a little bit longer to find the cat after it fled the classroom, but it had been okay. Sirius hadn’t _hurt_ it, it had just had a bit of a surprise, probably more from all the screaming than anything else.

“I’m not entirely sure that was why he did it.” James said raising his eyebrows. 

“Yes it was.” Sirius snapped quickly. “How come you’re not at practice?”

As though the weather heard him, the windows of Gryffindor Tower rattled menacingly. Marlene and James gestured to them in unison. “We were, but the wind got so bad that Isabelle had to concede defeat.”

“Yeah, not until I got blown right off my broom though.” James muttered bitterly.

“You alright?” Sirius asked.

“Yeah, I wasn’t too far off the ground. My shoulder popped out again though, Madam Pomfrey thinks it’s probably just going to keep happening.” James explained. Marlene shuddered, the thought of James’s dodgy shoulder made her feel a bit queasy, well, more the noise it made when the joint went back in the socket.

“Did you cry?” Sirius smirked.

“I’m not as tearful as you are, Onion.” James snapped. Sirius opened his mouth, as though hoping a decent comeback would just fall out of it. 

“Onions make other people cry, they don’t actually emote.” Sirius eventually said in a tone of forced dignity. He caught Marlene’s eye, and as he started to scratch his forearm, she scratched her neck.

“I hate both of you.” James muttered, and they burst out laughing.

“What are you reading?” Sirius asked, snatching Marlene’s book up off the table. 

“Umm…” Marlene said, running a hand through her hair, she wasn’t quite sure how to answer that.

“ _Lady Chatterly’s Lover_?” Sirius asked, he opened it at random and Marlene watched his cheeks turn slightly pink. “This is a dirty book!” Sirius laughed, his eyes alive with glee. 

“Yes it is.” Marlene grinned. “It’s very good.” 

“Do you read it in bed?” Sirius smirked.

“Sirius.” James warned. He put the book back on the table and held up his hands in retreat. 

“Who leant it to you?” 

“Craig.” Marlene lied, it had been Lily but it was much more fun to watch the smirk slip from his face and be replaced with immense irritation. Marlene got to her feet, and on the pretence of getting out her Charms homework out of her bag, whispered in Sirius’s ear so that only he’d be able to hear her, “yes, I read it in bed, with a hand between my legs.” She sat back down and tried to compose her face into a somewhat innocent expression. Sirius stared at her as she reached for her quill and ink. She she might be enjoying messing with him a little too much. Lily returned from the library took a seat in the empty arm chair next to Sirius. 

“I just ran into McGonagall, you left this in her office.” Lily said, holding out a copy of _Transfiguration Today_. Sirius didn’t move, he was still staring at Marlene…maybe she’d broken him. Lily dropped it in his lap and clicked her fingers in front of his face.

“What?” He asked, jumping slightly. “Oh, thanks.” He said, flushing scarlet. 

“What’s up with him?” Lily asked Marlene, getting up and sitting on arm of Sirius’s chair so that Remus could have hers. Marlene inclined her head at the book on the table and Lily laughed.

“It’s a sex book!” Sirius said, his voice seemingly caught somewhere between delight and accusation. 

“It’s a book where they have sex, it’s a little more eloquently written than your average instruction manual.” Lily grinned. 

“You’ve read it?” James asked sharply.

“Yep.” Lily said, popping the ‘p’. “That’s my copy, I leant it to Marls.”

“You said it was Craig.” Sirius accused with narrowed eyes.

“I lied.” Marlene laughed. 

“Yeah, I’ll admit, I did think it was weird. I don’t think Craig knows how to read.” Sirius smirked. Marlene glared at him. She looked over her shoulder, but luckily Craig wasn’t around to hear him.

“It’s a pretty good book actually.” Remus said, picking it up off the table and lazily flicking thought the pages.

“You’ve read it as well?” Sirius asked. 

“It’s very famous.” Remus shrugged. “There was a whole obscenity trial and everything. It’s been fourteen years, I think every Muggle teenager — or in mine and Lily’s case, teenagers with a Muggle parent — has read it by now.”


	81. 4th January 1975

“Your house is gorgeous.” Marlene said, running her hand up the oak bannister as she followed Craig upstairs. She smiled at the red tinsel wrapped around each spindle. It was the last day of the Christmas holidays and he’d invited her over while his parents were out. She didn’t know all that much about the Muggle world, but his family seemed pretty well off…though, she needed to stop thinking of him as the lesser Sirius…it wasn’t fair on Craig…or Sirius for that matter. She just hoped his family were nicer than most of Sirius's seemed to be. His room looked more like a studio flat than it did a bedroom. Marlene looked around resentfully, she had to share with her baby sister. 

“Sit down.” Craig said, nodding at the big bed in the middle of the room. Marlene crossed the room and sat down on the edge of the bed, watching him. He opened up the cocktail cabinet and poured them each a generous glass of whisky.

“Your parents don’t mind you drinking?” She asked.

“They don’t care about that.” Craig said, grabbing his camera and taking a photo of her. “You’re so hot.” Marlene blushed and looked away. “You don’t believe me?” 

“I guess I’m not too bad.” Marlene laughed. Craig sat down next to her and pressed the glass into her hand. He kissed her shoulder as she took a gulp of the drink, it burned on the way down. He placed his finger under the glass and tilted it back towards her mouth. Marlene glared at him and set the glass down in the floor. “You’re not funny.” Craig just grinned, he clearly thought he was hilarious. 

“Come on, smile.” He said, snapping another photo. Marlene rolled her eyes and returned the grin as best she could. Craig stood up, nudging her knees apart to stand between them and kissed her deeply. Marlene melted into it. Craig reached down and untucked her blouse from her jeans, pulling it off over head head. Marlene could feel her heart pounding so hard that she was surprised it that he couldn’t hear it.

“I didn’t have sex with Sirius or Avery.” She said quickly, breaking away from him.

“I know, I believe you.” Craig smiled, taking another photo of her. “People are just pricks.” Marlene grabbed the back of his neck and pulled him down to her. It was such a relief to be believed, it felt wonderful.

The wonderful feeling didn’t last, however. It had been more uncomfortable than she had been expecting, and Craig had been so rough with her. She stared up at the ceiling as he rolled off and got up.

“You should get dressed, and head home — quickly. My parents will be back soon and they don’t like me having girls over when they’re not around.” 

“Oh, okay.” Marlene said, her voice a little higher than she’d intended. She got up and looked around for her clothes, pulling them back on as fast as she could. “I’ll see you tomorrow on the train.” 

“See you tomorrow.” Craig held open his bedroom door for her. She hurried downstairs and out of the front door. Marlene took a last look at his house and stuck out her wand arm. That hadn’t quite been how she’d imagined it, she thought, as the Knight Bus hurtled down the street and pulling to a halt in front of her. She thought it would have been sweeter, more gentle…Craig hadn’t even really seemed to _see her_. It felt like she could have been anyone.


	82. 5th January 1975

Lily moved down the train looking for her friends. She spotted Craig in one of the compartments with laughing with other Gryffindor sixth years, but she couldn’t see Marlene with him. Lily carried on down the train. She found her sitting alone in an empty compartment and staring out of the window.

“Didn’t fancy sitting with Craig?” Lily asked her. This didn’t bother Lily, he was no good for her.

“He just broke up with me— Don’t you dare say good riddance.” Marlene warned. Lily folded her legs, choosing to sidestep that. Of course she wasn’t going to say ‘good riddance’; she was definitely thinking it, but Marlene didn’t seem in the mood. 

“Did he say why?” Lily asked curiously. 

“Said he’s not ready for a relationship right now.” Marlene muttered, Lily thought she saw tears pricking at the corner of her eyes.

“I’m really sorry.” Lily said, grabbing her hand and giving it a squeeze.

“Liar.” Marlene chuckled humourlessly. “You couldn’t stand him.”

“Well no, you’re right.” Lily conceded. “But I _am_ sorry that you’re upset.” Marlene ran her hand over her face and gave her head a shake.

“I’m fine. How was your Christmas?” Before she could answer the compartment door slid open and Severus entered. 

“McKinnon, did you fuck Craig Platt?” He smirked. Lily jumped to her feet and rounded on him. 

“Don’t _you_ start with this nonsense as well!” She snapped “It’s bad enough—”

“Lily.” Marlene said, grabbing hold of her arm. Lily ignored her.

“—that Avery and all your other friends are making stuff up without _you_ doing it as well—”

“Lils.” Marlene said again. Severus was staring at her open mouthed.

“I thought you were better than this, Sev. You can’t go around making—”

“Lily—”

“—stuff up about my other friends and expect me to be fine with—”

“He’s not making it up!” Marlene shouted, yanking Lily round to face her.

“What?” Lily asked, brushing her hair off of her face. She couldn’t have heard her right.

“He’s not making it up.” Marlene said, quieter this time. “I had sex with Craig yesterday.” Lily bit her lip, feeling guilty, and looked back at Severus who had smugly folded his arms across his chest. She supposed she should really apologise.

“Sorry, Sev, I…” She trailed off, something clicking into place. “You had sex with him yesterday and he broke up with you today?” 

“You must be terrible at it.” Severus said with a nasty smile. Marlene jumped to her her feet and pointed her wand at Severus’s face. There was a loud bang, a sickening crack, and blood exploded from his nose. Severus gave a shout of pain; he raised his own wand, clutching his face with his other hand. Lily dived between them.

“Stop it, both of you!” She shouted. Severus gave her what she could only assume, with his hand covering most of his face, was a hurt look and retreated from the compartment. Marlene, who had been breathing very hard, deflated back down into her chair. 

“Shouldn’t you go after him, being your best friend and all?” Marlene asked bitterly. Lily chose to ignore this, she wasn’t about to get into an argument with Marley over who she liked better…especially when she saw no reason she couldn’t have Sev _and_ her Gryffindor friends. 

“James is going to be out for Craig’s blood when he finds out.” Lily said, tucking Marlene’s hair behind her ear. 

“Which is why I’m going to tell him that Craig is making it up.” Marlene said firmly.

“You mean you’re going to lie to him?” Lily challenged.

“Yes. Who’s he going to believe, me or Craig? Who’s he going to believe, me or Snivellus?” Marlene hissed defiantly. 

“Marls.” Lily warned, she knew that Marlene was upset but she couldn’t let her call him that.

“James never has to find out the truth, okay?” 

Lily sighed, it felt wrong to lie to him, and honestly, she thought Craig deserved the wrath of James Potter. “Marley, I am really sorry.” She knew that Craig hadn’t been good enough, she’d been secretly hoping that they’d break up…for Marlene’s sake. But not like this.

“I don’t want to talk about it.” Marlene muttered, and they lapsed into silence. 

“What was it like?” Lily asked curiously, before she could stop herself. 

“I said, I don’t want to talk about it.” Marlene said, a little firmer this time. “It was horrible.” Marlene eventually mumbled, looking out of the window. “He was so…” But whatever Craig had been, Marlene didn’t finish the sentence. “I don’t think that was how it was supposed to be.” She finally muttered.


	83. 8th January 1975

“Why did Dumbledore even hire him?” Mary whispered to Dorcas as she copied the notes down off the blackboard. She supposed that she shouldn’t complain too much, Babworth was certainly no Lamot. He didn’t seem to be evil or bigoted, but he also didn’t seem to be a particularly great teacher either. Defence Against the Dark Arts was becoming as dull as History of Magic. In fact, Babworth looked so old that Mary thought he might do a Binns any day now. 

“I asked Alastor.” Dorcas said, quieter still. Mary had to strain her ears just to hear her. “He thinks Voldemort—” Mary flinched before she could stop herself, and Dorcas gave her a withering look. “—is after him. So Dumbledore’s put him here, I mean, no where is safer, is it?” 

“Mr Pettigrew.” Babworth said in a brittle voice, and holding a small card box up with a shaking hand. “Will you please hand each student a beetle? We will be practicing the Impediment Jinx today.”

“At least we’re finally getting to use some magic.” Mary grinned.

“True, and if we’re increasing in species size each lesson then we should be onto using on each other by April.” Sirius smirked, leaning across Dorcas. Mary snorted, and quickly tried to stifle her laughter. “Hey Marley, you’re good at getting teachers fired, want to work your magic? We might get Dumbledore again.” 

“What?” Marlene asked, looking over at them. She’d seemed pretty down, distracted even, since they’d come back to school and she had Craig had broken up. Even her ponytail seemed to lack its usual bounce. Mary felt bad for her but wasn’t sure how best to help. She didn’t think Dorcas’s ‘just forget about him’ had been particularly helpful, nor Remus’s ‘just ignore it’ as new gossip began to trickle through the school.

“Well, the only other one I got fired ended up dead. I think that’s a disproportionate punishment for a few boring lessons.” Marlene muttered. “ _Impedimenta._ ” She said lazily, pointing her wand at her beetle. It froze on the desk and Marlene looked at glumly. Mary supposed it was too easy a task for even Marlene to gloat that she’d done it straight away. 

“You’d have thought lessons from a friend of _Dumbledore’s_ would be exciting, but he’s treating us like first years.” Mary muttered, as her beetle tried to make a break for it. She supposed it was better than the boggart last year, she’d never actually been able to get rid of one — every time the flames started to inch towards her she dissolved into a mad panic — at least this was something that she’d be able to do. 

“Well, I don’t know about all of you, but I think I’ll take it upon myself to practice some jinxes on Snivellus between classes.” James said in a very serious voice. “You know, really get in some extra work.” Mary wasn’t sure he’d have said that if Lily was sat with them, and she smiled. 

“I think that’s a very sensible idea.” Sirius said, trying not to laugh. “What do you think Marls?”

“Sure. Whatever you want.” She said, but Mary had the suspicion that she hadn’t really been listening to them. 

“Marlene, what—” James broke off as Babworth approached their row. 

“Miss McKinnon, let me see you attempt the spell.” He said, as her beetle had now started moving again. 

“ _Impedimenta._ ” Marlene said, and it froze once more.

“Excellent, Miss McKinnon!” Babworth exclaimed, clapping his hands together. Mary rolled her eyes, Marlene had so obviously found it easy that his praise sounded sarcastic, even if he hadn't meant it to.


	84. 11th January 1975

“Marlene?” The sound of Bertha’s voice grated every single one of Marlene’s nerves. She supposed it wouldn’t bother her quite so much, if it wasn’t accompanied with the knowledge that she’d never had a conversation with Bertha didn’t ultimately make daily life worse for her. Bertha dropped down into the seat next to her. She’d be on the Quidditch pitch soon for practice, and she could forget all about the shit people on the ground were throwing at her.

“What?” Marlene asked bluntly, she was willing to bet her broomstick she knew what Bertha was going to ask.

“Did you have sex with Craig?” 

Yep. She’d called it. Marlene’s hand tightened on the knife in her hand as she cut the sausage on her plate into impossibly small pieces. It was taking a great deal of self-control not to stab it right through Bertha’s hand. She was actually quite surprised that it had taken this long to reach Bertha’s ears, though now it would travel like wild fire. No one could spread a story faster than Bertha Jorkins…

_…No one could spread a story faster than Bertha Jorkins._

The idea blossomed so whole and complete and obvious that she couldn’t believe that she hadn’t thought about it before. 

“Well.” Marlene said seriously, lowering her voice. Bertha leaned closer, her eyes eager for the gossip. “We tried, but he just couldn’t get it up. It’s a real problem for him. And look at me, I’m stunning, he’s clearly attracted…but nothing.” Marlene said, forcing a sigh. “Don’t tell anyone, he’d be so embarrassed.” 

“Of course not!” Bertha said. Marlene bit the inside of her mouth to keep herself from smiling, Bertha was a terrible liar. She got up and went to rejoin her friends. “Have a good practice!” She called back.

James looked quizzically from Bertha to Marlene as they passed each other. “What did she want?” He asked, he’d already changed into his Quidditch robes. 

“To borrow the brown sauce.” Marlene lied. James glanced down at her plate and raised his eyebrows.

“You want to talk about anything?” He smirked. Marlene pushed aside the remains of the now shredded sausage and got to her feet. 

“Nope, I feel great.” She smiled, and for the first time in a while it didn’t feel like she was faking it. “Let’s go.”

By the time practice was over, they were frozen to the bone. All Marlene wanted now was a hot bath…she’d give anything for the password to the prefects bathroom. She supposed she _might_ be made one next year…they had a small house year group, she had a one in four shot. It didn’t help her now though. 

The team traipsed through the snow back to the castle, Marlene felt like she was being pulled along by the thought of the warm fire and a cozy jumper…even the bath could wait until she’d regained some feeling in her limbs.

“Marlene!” Craig shouted, storming down the marble stairs. “I can’t believe your telling people that I—” He broke off, seeming to realise that they were’t alone. “You’re _lying_ about me!” 

Marlene smiled. He had no way of proving that, that was the beauty of it. If she’d told Bertha that he had a tiny cock, or something else like that, then if Craig _really wanted to_ he could prove that she was lying. But this he couldn’t prove.

“No I’m not.” She smiled sweetly. 

“I felt sorry for you! I’ve been telling everyone I can that you haven’t been shagging random boys in bathrooms, and respond by doing _this_? You’re such a cunt!” 

James took a step forward at these words and Marlene grabbed the back of his robes. “You pretended to like me so, what? You could fuck a virgin?” She challenged.

“I didn’t pretend—” Craig began, but Marlene was done. Something inside her had snapped, and she pulled her wand from inside her robes. Hot anger had exploded in her chest, filling every inch of her. She was done taking this shit, she was done with boys making stuff up about her, done with their pushing and grabbing, and she was done with Sirius being able to have a girl of the week that he didn’t think she knew about and get treated like a fucking hero when she got _this._ If people wanted to treat her like shit then she was going to fight back.

“ _Flipendo!_ ” Craig flew backwards, hit the marble stairs and rolled down to the foot them. There was a still moment where she thought that he was out cold, but then he was back on his feet, his own wand out. James, too, drew his wand — as did, Marlene noticed, the rest of the Gryffindor team. “No! Don’t get involved. Jamie, _I mean it!_ ” Her voice shriller than she had ever heard it before. She needed to do this herself. And then she and Craig were firing spells at each other. Marlene throwing out every jinx, every hex, that she could think of. Sure, he had two years magical training on her, but she was _good_. Craig aimed a spell at her throat and she felt it constrict, as though an invisible hand were squeezing it. “ _Diffindo._ ” She choked, aiming her wand at the high ceiling. A chandelier came crashing down and Craig had to dive out of the way. “ _Reducto!_ ” The spell missed his head by inches and shattered the Gryffindor and Ravenclaw hourglasses. Rubies and Sapphires spilled out onto the floor in a sparkling sea of red and blue. Before he could raise his wand again, Marlene stunned him. A ringing silence filled the entrance hall. Marlene noticed now that many students, attracted by all the noise, had filed in to watch.

“ _Miss McKinnon!_ ” McGonagall had appeared at the top of the stairs, her face white with fury. “Wait for me in my office!” Still breathing hard, Marlene climbed the stairs as the curious onlookers parted. It had been worth whatever punishment came next.


	85. 5th February 1975

Marlene’s attack on Craig Platt was all anyone talked about for a while. The story was now so embroidered that some people were swearing blind that she’d turned him into a slug and McGonagall had only just stopped her stepping on him. While Sirius knew this wasn’t true, he was incredibly sorry that he’d missed the actual event. 

He checked his watch as he rushed back to the common room, trying not to spill the hot chocolate he’d gotten her from the kitchens — he wanted to do something nice for her on her birthday. She always seemed to return from the indefinite detentions that McGonagall had prescribed around now, but he’d lost track of time while he’d been snogging Vivian Hart. 

“Fortitudo.” He said to the Fat Lady and she swung forwards. He was just taking his seat in his usual arm chair when Marlene joined him. She looked exhausted, but between their increased work load, Quidditch practice, and now all these detentions with McGonagall, it was hardly surprising. She’d also had three Howlers from home, the first was Beatrice McKinnon scolding her for attacking another student, and the second two had just contained things she’d forgotten to say in the Howler preceding it. 

“I got you a drink.” He said as she collapsed into the chair opposite him. 

“Please tell me there’s alcohol in it.” Marlene said leaning forward with what looked like considerable effort to pick up the mug.

“No.” Sirius grinned. “I can get you some if you like though?” 

“It’s fine.” She took a sip and let out a contented sigh. “Is there cinnamon in this?”

“I know you like it.” Sirius shrugged.

“I’m going to marry you one day, Sirius Black.” Marlene laughed, closing her eyes. Sirius felt a swooping sensation in his stomach and his cheeks turned slightly pink. But he knew that she was only joking. “I was going to read the book you got me, but I’m too tired. Did I thank you this morning? I can’t remember.”

“You did.” Sirius chuckled. _Jinxes, Hexes, Curses, and Their Counter-Actions_ …he thought it might come in handy for next time she got into a duel with Craig — or anyone else for that matter. “Was it worth it? The detentions, I mean.”

“Absolutely.” Marlene smiled. “Though I was hoping McGonagall might have let me off on my birthday.” Part of him wanted to ask her if she’d really had sex with Craig, but he wasn’t sure he quite dared. He thought she probably had, and it was hard to squash the irritation that this seemed to ignite. It was just because Craig was so much older than her, he told himself. And it seemed that he’d just used her for sex…that was the _only_ reason it was bothering him. Marlene was exceptional, and she deserved to be treated like it. “How’s Vivian?” She asked, her voice sounded perfectly pleasant, genuinely interested. But what had he been hoping for? That she’d be jealous? _Of course he hadn’t._

“She’s okay…we’re not together, we just—” He tried to explain.

“Get together?” Marlene asked, her voice still friendly. “Like you and Florence?” 

“Yeah, like me and Florence.” Sirius muttered, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly.


	86. 1st March 1975

“Sev, are you alright?” Lily asked, rushing into the hospital wing. “Florence said you were in here. What happened?” Severus swung his legs off the bed and sat up.

“Black and Potter.” Severus muttered. 

“Right.” Lily said. She couldn’t _believe_ them…well actually, she could — they seemed to spend half their time hexing people. “Right, I’ll sort this.” Lily said. She stormed back out of the hospital wing, they were probably still at lunch. 

“Lily, what’s wrong?” Marlene called, chasing after her as Lily headed in the direction of the Great Hall. “Lily!”

“Leave me alone, Marley. Potter and Black put Sev in the hospital wing, I’m going to give them a taste of their own medicine.” 

“Did you ask Snape why they—”

“I don’t understand why you pretend that they’re so perfect!” Lily snapped, rounding on Marlene. Sure, they had their moments…moments when they were kind, and sweet…but then always went and did something like _this_. 

“I’ve never said they’re perfect.” Marlene said, her voice sounded perfectly calm but Lily knew her better than that. 

“I don’t know if you don’t see how they are, or don’t want to see it…and you _certainly_ seem to have a blind spot when it comes to Potter—” Marlene’s eyes narrowed dangerously. “—because he’s an arrogant, worthless scumbag!” Lily struggled not to cower under the look of fury that Marlene gave her.

“Don’t you dare!” She shouted. “I love you so much Lily, but I can’t just stand here let you talk shit about James! I’ll give you arrogant, he is. I should know, I can be pretty arrogant myself…but don’t you ever call him worthless!” There was such a fire behind her eyes that Lily knew, if Marlene ever had to choose between her and James, she would lose every time.

“Marlene McKinnon: James Potter’s greatest defender.” Lily scoffed, shaking her head slightly. 

“Exactly.” Marlene said proudly, drawing herself up. “He’d never stand for anyone talking shit about me. He’s a really good person, Lily — they both are.” 

“You know, I actually agree with you. The problem is, they don’t always act like it.” Lily snapped. “They need to leave Severus alone!”

“They won’t do that—” Lily gestured wildly, Marlene was making her point _for her_. “—because Snivellus won’t leave _them_ alone. Are they supposed to just lie down and take it?”

“ _Don’t call him Snivellus!_ ” Lily shouted. Marlene was smiling, and it was infuriating. This wasn’t _funny_. “Eventually they are going to be as bad as they’re acting…don’t come complaining to me when that day comes.” 

“Why not? You’ll know just what it feels like. Sniv— Severus _is_ as terrible as he acts.” Marlene said conversationally, as though they were just discussing the weather. Lily opened her mouth and closed it again. Why couldn’t Marlene see the good in Severus? So he was spending a lot of time with Avery and Mulciber…but she could _save him_ , she was his friend, she wasn’t going to let them make him any darker. “James and Sirius are better than you give them credit for…and you give Snape too much credit.”

“I don’t want to fight you, Marley.” Lily sighed. She loved her as much as Severus…sometimes she thought maybe more, but Severus _needed_ her.

“You’re going to have to if you want to go after Jamie.” Marlene shrugged. “Come on, let’s go to lunch, I slept through breakfast and now I’m starving.” Lily hesitated before following her along the corridor, she was still seething, but arguing with Marlene about it wasn’t going to get her anywhere.


	87. 11th April 1975

“I’m not going into Hogsmeade with you tomorrow Sev, not when you’re going with—” Lily snapped as they crossed the courtyard, Severus jogging to keep up. She wasn’t going at all, she’d found the perfect room to dance in, so that would be how she’d spend the day. Severus reached out to grab her arm and she stopped, leaning against the pillar. 

“I thought we were supposed to be friends.” Severus sounded sulky. She _hated_ when he sounded sulky, but rather than make her feel sorry for him…she found it irritating. 

“We _are_ friends, but loathe Avery and Mulciber!” She couldn’t understand what he saw in them…Severus _knew_ that Avery had cornered Marlene in the bathroom but he didn’t seem to care, he’d even had the nerve to be mad that she’d hexed Avery. “And do you know what Mulciber tried to do to Mary? They are so creepy!”

“Oh come on, Lily. He was just having a laugh.” Snape said, a grin playing at the corners of his mouth. _A laugh?_ He’d tried to use the Imperius curse on her…it didn’t matter that he’d failed, the fact that he’d even attempted it was bad enough!

“It was Dark Magic, it’s not _funny_ —” She hissed.

“Oh yeah!” Snape demanded, the colour rising in his face. “Well what about Potter—”

“What does Potter have to do with _anything?_ ” Lily snapped.

“He and his mates are always sneaking around, and _I know_ that Lupin is hiding something.”

“He’s ill.” Lily said quickly, starting to panic. She couldn’t let Severus find out about Remus — Remus didn’t even know that she knew… and if Severus told the other Slytherins that would be it… she hadn’t forgotten how interested Mulciber had been in werewolf hunting. She had to protect his secret, he was good, and sweet, and kind and if anyone in the world deserved a shot at a normal life it was Remus Lupin.

“Yeah, always at the full moon…” 

“You’ve told me your theory before, it’s ridiculous.” Lily said, forcing ice into her voice. “You’re so obsessed with them, what does it matter what _they_ get up to?”

“I just want you to see that they aren’t wonderful.” Severus snapped. Lily flushed, she didn’t need Severus to tell her that they weren’t wonderful. Yet, compared to Avery and Mulciber, they were positively angelic!

“ _They_ don’t use Dark Magic.” Lily pointed out. 

“I’m not going to let you—”

“ _Let_ me?” Lily demanded, narrowing her eyes, what on earth gave Severus the idea that he had the authority to _let_ her do anything. 

“I didn’t mean _let_ …James Potter _fancies_ you!” He blurted out. Lily was very grateful that her cheeks already felt warm, it worked to mask her blush. “Everyone thinks he’s some big hero, but he’s so—”

“I don’t need _you_ to tell me that Potter is an arrogant toerag.” She snapped, that was sort of fine right? Marlene didn’t have a problem with her calling him arrogant… “But what Avery and Mucliber think is funny…it’s just _evil_ , Sev! I don’t know why you’re friends with them.” She muttered, walking away, Severus following her.

“Are you going into Hogsmeade with Black and Potter then?” Severus demanded. Lily ignored him. “Or McKinnon, she’s no better. Do you want people saying the same stuff about you that they say about her, that—”

Lily rounded on him, her wand raised. “ _Shut up!_ ” She wasn’t going to let him talk about Marley like that.

Snape eyed her wand warily. “Sorry.” He muttered. “I didn’t mean to…I’m just worried about you. You’re my best friend, Lily.”


	88. 2nd May 1975

“Why don’t you come and sit with us Mary?” Mulciber smirked, pulling out the chair next to his. James couldn’t believe the nerve of him, Mary didn’t deserve this. 

“No thank you.” Mary said in a dignified voice. She lifted her chin and walked past him to sit beside Remus. 

“ _Reducto!_ ” James spat, he was aiming at Mulciber’s chair but in his irritation he missed and hit Snape’s. The chair exploded and Snape crashed the to floor with a yell of shock. Sirius let out a roar of laughter.

“Sorry about that, Snivellus.” He grinned, but quickly composed his face when he caught Lily glaring at him. “Oh, come on Evans, I apologised.”

“I’ll see you at six o’clock for detention, Mr Potter.” Babworth said, closing the door behind him and repairing Snape’s chair with a wave of his wand. 

“At least we got to use some magic on each other.” Sirius yawned as they made their way down to dinner. James scoffed, they had learnt so much with Gallo last year…Babworth had taught them a total of one spell. Well…let them practice one spell, anyway.

“Must be worried we’re going to do each other some damage.” Dorcas muttered, joining them at the Gryffindor table. 

“It’s not fair, Ana said they get to do all sorts.” Marlene said, helping herself to a portion of chicken pie. “Need to make sure they’re all sorted for their O.W.L practical I guess. Well, I’ve got plenty of Defence Against the Dark Arts books, there’s nothing to stop me practicing in my own time.”

“If you learn anything cool then you can teach us.” James said, poking gloomily at his pork chop. 

“Not sure about that. Can’t risk you getting better than me.” Marlene grinned, giving his leg a gentle kick under the table, and tilting her head to catch his eye. He grinned back. 

At five to six James made his way to Babworth’s office. He’d set out a small table with parchment, quill and ink. 

“Good evening Mr Potter. Take a seat.” James dropped his bag and sat down. Babworth passed him a History of Magic textbook and sat down in his squashy armchair. “I borrowed this from Cuthbert. You’ll be copying it out.” 

“Why?” James asked. He wasn’t sure he could think of anything more boring…then it occurred to him, that was the point. 

“Off you go.” Babworth smiled. James sighed, dipped his quill in the ink and started to copy out the introduction. This was so stupid, he could be doing his homework…in fact he couldn’t believe he was wishing for his _homework_. 

After two hours his head was throbbing, and his eyes were burning. James took off his glasses and rubbed his face. He jumped at a tap on the window and put his glasses back on. An owl was perched on the windowsill. “Let him in, there’s a good lad.” Babworth said. James got to his feet and opened the window. The owl soared through and set a package down on Babworth’s desk. He watched as he opened the box and clapped his hands together. “Do you know what this is?” 

James looked at the bottle and shrugged. “Wine?” 

“Not just any wine! There are only ten bottles of this ever made. It is supposed to be the finest wine in the world.” Babworth beamed, conjuring a glass with the wave of his wand. 

“And you’re going to drink it?” James asked, astounded. “I thought people, you know, saved stuff like that?” 

“Now, now. What good would that do me! Something like this should be enjoyed.” 

James thought his frail hands might struggle to unstopper the bottle, but it came loose straight away. “Can I have some?” He grinned.

Babworth considered him for a moment, smiling. “Not tonight, you’re in detention.” James flopped moodily back in his chair. Babworth took a drink from the glass and it took James a moment to realise that something was wrong. Very wrong. Babworth let out a straggled gasped and went rigid. 

“Professor?” James asked, sitting up. Babworth slid from his chair to the floor, his body shaking, white froth spilling from his mouth. James jumped to his feet and pushed his desk aside. “Sir!” He said dropping down beside him. His eyes had rolled back in his head. James ran to the door and wrenched it open, looking up and down the corridor. “Evans—”

“Leave me al—”

“Lily!” He shouted. He didn’t have time for this. She must have heard something in his voice because she turned. “Babworth’s been poisoned, get help!” James rushed back to him. He gave another shudder and then stopped. “ _Rennervate!_ ” James said, pointing his wand at him. He hadn’t really believed that would work, but it was all he could think of. His mind was blank with blind panic. He placed his fingers to Babworth’s throat; there was no pulse. _What was it the Muggles did?_ He tried to think back to Muggle Studies. He crossed his hands together and started to press down on his chest, over and over. He had no idea if he was even doing it right but he had to try…Lily would be back with help any moment, he was sure of it. “Come on, Professor.” He muttered, his arms starting to ache with the exertion. But he knew it was a lost cause. Babworth was dead. James fell back against the wall, staring at the body of the old man. The door burst open.

“James, I’ve got…” Lily trailed off. Something hit the floor and rolled across the room. When hit Babworth it stopped. James recognised the Bezoar. “James?” 

“He’s dead.” James muttered, trying to wipe tears off of his face, hoping that she wouldn’t notice them; he didn’t want her to see him crying. He could hear frantic footsteps in the corridor and Dumbledore and McGonagall appeared behind Lily.

“Oh my goodness.” McGonagall gasped. 

“I tried to save him, Professor.” James said, looking at Dumbledore. “I really tried.” 

James had to tell the story to Dumbledore several times. He stared into the fire as he did, feeling numb. Babworth had just _died_. Right in front of his eyes…he was just gone. “And he definitely didn’t say _where_ he got the wine?”

“No.” James said flatly. He didn’t think he could stand to recount it one more time.

“Very well.” Dumbledore said, getting to his feet; he looked as tired as James felt. “I’ve contacted your parents and they’re on their way. In the mean time, Miss McKinnon is waiting for you in the hospital wing—”

“She is?” James asked. Dumbledore nodded.

“I would like you to sleep there tonight, where Madam Pomfrey can keep an eye on you.” Dumbledore held open his office door and they walked to the hospital wing in silence. Babworth was dead and he hadn’t been able to do _anything_ to stop it.

“Voldemort sent the wine didn’t he?” James asked suddenly.

“What makes you ask that?”

“I—” James hesitated, he didn’t want to get Dorcas or Moody in trouble. “I just heard he was after him, that’s all.” 

“I believe it is very likely, yes.” Dumbledore said. As he opened the hospital wing door Marlene flew at him. Her arms wrapped so tight around his neck that James thought he might choke, and for a moment he could see nothing but her blonde hair. 

“Jamie.” She breathed. “Are you okay?” James held onto her, right now she felt like the most solid thing in the whole world.


	89. 7th May 1975

Classes the following week had been cancelled. The school seemed to be in a state of shock, the idea that someone could be murdered within the walls of this safe castle was a terrifying thought that seemed to stalk the halls and haunt the shadows. Lily had hardly seen James since last Friday; he’d had a shouting match in hospital wing with his parents when they’d tried to take him home, and if it hadn’t been for the occasional times when she’d passed him in the common room, she might have thought he’d actually gone with them. 

“Is James alright?” Lily asked, sitting down opposite Sirius and Remus. They exchanged a look.

“He wants to be left alone.” Sirius muttered.

“And you’ve listened to him?” Lily asked. This shocked her, it hardly seemed like a good idea to let him stew by himself. 

“Of course not, Marley’s with him now.” Sirius snapped. “Why do you care? You don’t even _like_ James. He’s our friend, you think we’ve just ditched him?” 

“Where are they?” Lily asked.

“No, you’re not going up there. You either like him or you don’t, it’s not fair to—”

“Sirius.” Remus sighed. “They’ll be up the astronomy tower.” 

“Thanks.” Lily smiled, hurrying back out of the portrait hole. She wasn’t _worried_ about James…not really…she just wanted to make sure that he was doing okay…well, maybe she was a little bit worried…

She hurried down to the sixth floor, checked there was no one around — the Astronomy tower was after all off limits but for lessons — and slipped through the door at the end. As she climbed she could hear Marlene and James talking. 

“—it’s nice for a teacher’s death not to be my fault for once.” She could hear the grin in Marlene’s voice and rolled her eyes.

“You’re not funny, Marls.” James said, though Lily was sure that he sounded amused. 

“Hi.” Lily said quietly. They were leaning against the parapet, looking out at the grounds, and they both looked up as she spoke. “Remus told me you were up here. Just wanted to see how you were doing.” 

“I’m going to go to the kitchens to take some food back to the common room for you. Don’t stay up here too long alright.” Marlene said. Now Lily thought about it, she’d not seen James in the Great Hall since dinner on Friday. She supposed he wanted to avoid the gossip and stares. Marlene leaned over and kissed his cheek before getting to her feet. “I love you, Jamie.” 

“Love you too, Marley.” He said quietly.

“Don’t leave him alone up here.” Marlene added to Lily as she passed her.

“I’m not going to jump.” James muttered irritably. Lily smiled slightly and sat down where Marlene had been. “I’m fine, Evans.” 

“James.” Lily said gently. He wasn’t fine, he couldn’t be. He was a fifteen year old who had just watched a rather disturbing murder. Beneath all the prickish bluster, he was too good a person to be fine. He rested his chin on his arm, staring out at the forrest. Lily had the distinct impression that he was doing everything he could not to look at her. 

“I really did try.” He whispered. “I tried that thing the Muggles do to get peoples hearts to start again.” He added feebly. 

“I know.” 

“He just _died_ …” His voice sounded so strained. Lily could see tears well up in his eyes and she scooted closer, a knee resting on his thigh, and placed a had on his shoulder. 

“I know.” She said again. “Nowhere’s safe anymore, is it?” James shook his head. Even Hogwarts, which was safer than most places, no longer felt impenetrable. James suddenly looked so young, so scared. She was so close to him that she could make out the faint freckles on his cheek bone. And his eyes were a rather pretty hazel, she’d always thought they’d been brown. 

“I felt his ribs break.” James said, sitting up and looking at his hands. Lily ran her hand down his arm and placed it in his, giving it a squeeze. “Lily Evans is holding my hand?” He asked, a smile trying to break through.

“Shut up.” She muttered. 

“You know…I asked Babworth for a glass of the wine, now I’m not so sure he said no…this doesn’t seem like something that would happen in real life.” He said, giving their hands a little shake. 

“Shut up, Potter.” She got up and pulled him with her. “Come and get something to eat.” 

“Why are you being nice to me?” He asked, narrowing his eyes and trying to look suspicious.

“Don’t get used to it.” Lily said quickly. “We’re not friends.” 

“Yeah, but it’s a sort of friendship.” James said, and for a moment Lily found herself transported to the last time they’d found themselves at the top of the astronomy tower. Yes, it was a sort of friendship. 

“I still think you’re very arrogant.” She said.

“Good, because I still think you’re a bit snooty.” James smiled, and Lily was so relieved to see it that she smiled back.


	90. 25th May 1975

Sirius was woken by something soft hitting him in the face. “What?” He groaned, rubbing his eyes and pushing himself up in bed. James was already dressed. “What are you doing, it’s Sunday morning.” 

“Full moon tonight.” James said.

“What?” Sirius stared at him, he knew that. What he didn’t know what why James had woken him up at — he checked his watch — seven o’clock on a Sunday morning to tell him something he already knew. 

“It’s going to be a clear night.” James added, waving McGonagall’s Animagus book at him and tossing it on the bed. It clicked into place. It was going to be a clear night. Sirius shot out of bed, so much had happened this month that he’d not gotten anything ready, the didn’t have any of the other potion ingredients. So much for his determination to become and Animagus no matter what. 

“We’re not ready. We haven’t even decided where we’re going to hide the potion—”

“I’ve got it all figured out.” James said. “That big mirror on the fourth floor? It’s another passage into Hogsmeade…it’s huge inside, we can hide the potions in a corner. I’ve been watching it all month, I don’t think anyone knows it’s there. I’ve got the Dead Hawks-head moth chrysalises and I collected the dew from the forrest this morning—”

“How did you do all this?” Sirius asked, astounded. “And how did you find that passage?”

“I’ve not been sleeping well.” James shrugged, and now he said it, Sirius noticed that he did look tired. “Most days I’ve been waking up at like two in the morning. I’ve just been wandering around the castle under the cloak.”

“James…” Sirius said gently.

“I think I’ve found a problem.” Remus said. Sirius looked over at him, he’d picked up the book. Sirius raised his eyebrows, wondering if this was a real problem or if this was a Remus problem. “The incantation. You’ve got to do it twice a day until the next lightning storm…if that doesn’t happen before term ends you’re going to have to do it at home…what about the Trace?” 

“It’ll be fine.” James said before Sirius could answer. “They rarely check up on wizarding families, too much magic.”

“What about Peter? How are we going to make sure he remembers to recite the incantation?” Sirius asked, he was only half kidding.

“Hey!” Peter snapped. “I’m not completely useless.” 

“Yes you are.” James muttered. “It’s fine, you can spend the summer at mine. My parents will let me do anything right now.” 

Sirius could hardly believe it, they finally seemed to be making some progress. It had been almost two years of this, with nothing to show for it but disappointment. “I swear, if any of you swallow that leaf today, I will never speak to you again.”

They had positioned the crystal phials in the open widow, and when the moonlight hit them the moved closer. “You ready?” Sirius asked, consulting the instructions in the book once more. The other two nodded and the placed their mandrake leaves in the phials. James threw the cloak over them and they crept down to the fourth floor. Checking that the coast was clear, James slid the mirror aside, and they slipped through the passage. “ _Lumos_.” Sirius muttered. He looked down at the steep, narrow stone stairs at his feet and they began to travel down them. They seemed to go on for an age, as with the one to the Honeydukes cellar, until they were in a cavernous room right underneath the school. Sirius could make out a gap in the wall at the other end, he supposed if they continued on through there, they’d probably reach Hogsmeade.

“Over here.” James said, lighting the lamps and leading them over to a corner.

“Now we just have to leave them.” Sirius murmured, they just had to resist the temptation to not come checking on them.

“I’ve been practicing cloaking charms. Even if someone does come across this room, they shouldn’t be able to see these, we’ll just put them in the corner.”

“We could be Animagi in a couple of days.” Peter said, in a tone of nervous excitement.

“Or a couple of years.” Sirius reminded him. “We don’t know how long this next step will take.”


	91. 5th June 1975

Dorcas looked out of one of the first floor windows as she left the library, frowning as she spotted James stumble and then disappear. He must have put on the cloak. Dorcas hurried down the stairs, through the courtyard and out on to the grounds. 

“James?” She called, looking round in the dim light from the castle windows. “James I know you’re here somewhere, I saw you go under the cloak.” Dorcas jumped as his disembodied head appeared, floating in mid air. He was grinning, but there was something not quite right about it. “James…have you been drinking?” She frowned. His arm stuck out from the cloak, holding a bottle of wine. 

“Me? No, nope, not at all.” He said. “Except yes, I have.” 

“James.” Dorcas groaned. “We have an exam tomorrow.” He was going to feel awful.

“It’s Charms. I could sleep through it and get full marks.” He brought the bottle to his disembodied head.

“I think you _will_ be sleeping through it.” Dorcas muttered. James didn’t seem to be listening. He stuck his other hand out from under the cloak and waved it at her, a stupid grin on his face. “Take off the cloak, I can’t talk to you like this, you look ridiculous.” James pulled it off and slumped down onto the wall. Dorcas sat down beside him. “Where did you get the wine?” 

“Nicked it out of Babworth’s office before it got packed up.” James said. Dorcas froze for a moment then grabbed his wrist before he could take another swig.

“You stole a bottle of wine from a man who was killed with a bottle of poisoned wine?”

“Yep.” James said, popping the ‘p.’ He wasn’t grinning any more. 

“But this might have been poisoned too, you couldn’t have know it was safe to drink.” Dorcas said, trying to snatch it away. 

“Exactly.” He said, tilting his head slightly as he looked at her. “I don’t think I’m okay, Dorcas.” _Clearly._

“I’m going to get Marlene.” She said, trying to stand up, but he pulled her back down. 

“Don’t, she’ll kill me.” James groaned. “She doesn’t understand what this feels like. No one understands what this feels like.”

Dorcas wrenched her arm from his grip. “No, I can’t possibly imagine what it’s like to watch someone die.” She spat. James stared at her for a moment.

“I forgot. I’m sorry.” He mumbled. It was nice that he could. She should get Mary, he had more in common with her, they had at least both tried to save people. She had just _watched_ while her father was killed.

“You did everything you could, James. You have to stop blaming yourself.” She pried his fingers from the bottle and took it from him. “Come on, put the cloak on. I need to get you up to the common room before any of the teachers see you.” 

“Are they scary?” He asked, sounding suddenly very, very small. She didn’t have to ask what he was talking about. 

“No. They look a little bit intimidating, but they’re very gentle. Friendly even…I suppose they’re not used to being seen. It must be nice, for them at least.” Dorcas said softly, gripping his elbow and hoisting him to his feet.


	92. 11th July 1975

Marlene looked down that the page. It didn’t _sound_ difficult, but she had a feeling that it would be. She had to concentrate completely on a single happy memory. She had lots of them, so how was she supposed to decide. She thought of winning that first Quidditch match. After so many people had said that she and James were too young, they had proved them all wrong. She got off the bed and pointed her wand across the room.

“ _Expecto Patronum!_ ” Nothing happened. She closed her eyes and concentrated harder. “ _Expecto Patronum!_ ” A very faint wisp of silver shot from her wand. “Ha!” It was hardly the silvery animal described in the book but it was a start. The door handle rattled.

“Marley, let me in!” Nicole shouted.

“Go away, I’m busy!” Marlene called. She closed her eyes again. “ _Expecto Patronum!_ ” The silver did look a little stronger this time, but maybe it was just her imagination. The lock on the door clicked and it swung open. Nicole was stood in the doorway holding a hair pin.

“James showed me how to pick a lock.” She grinned, flopping down on to her own bed. “I didn’t think you were _allowed_ to do magic outside of school?” 

“I’m not.” Marlene shrugged. “You going to tell Mum and Dad?”

“ _I’m not Jeremy!_ ” Nicole said, folding her arms across her chest and sounding incredibly offended. “Can I see?” 

Marlene concentrated on her memory. “ _Expecto Patronum!_ ” The same jet of silver vapour shot from her wand tip.

“Oh, is that it?” Nicole asked, disappointed. “That wasn’t very exciting. Marlene flicked her wand at Nicole and thought _Levicorpus_. And with a scream, Nicole was hoisted up in the air by her ankle. Marlene burst out laughing, she’d have to thank Lily for telling her about that one. “Let me down!” Nicole shouted, her voice sounding strained as the blood rushed to her head. With a jerk of her wand, Marlene thought _Liberacorpus_ and Nicole crashed back down onto the mattress. “That spell was much cooler.” She giggled when she seemed to get over the shock of it all. “You have to teach me that one for when I start school.”

“Yeah alright.” Marlene grinned. Hogwarts had one more year before they were hit by Hurricane Nicole…the teachers should probably make the most of it. It was hardly fair though, she wasn’t going to have Jeremy trying to constantly ruin her fun, instead she would get James in her ear encouraging her rule breaking. 

“Can I come and hang out with you and James tomorrow?” Nicole asked. She couldn’t blame her, it was that or spend the day with no one but Jeremy for company.

“No.” Marlene scoffed, Nicole’s face fell. She considered her for a moment, maybe Nicole would do him good…more so than Marlene was. "Alright, fine."


	93. 12th July 1975

Marlene chewed her thumb nail nervously as she stood in front of the fireplace at the Potters house. She wasn’t _worried_ about Nicole, she just didn’t want to waste all day looking for her. 

“Do you think she got lost?” Peter asked, as she watched the flames with him, James and Mary.

“She better not of, it’s me who’ll get it in the neck if she has.” Marlene muttered, but a moment later the flames turned green and Nicole stumbled out. She righted herself, looked around at them.

“Jamie!” She beamed, jumping into his arms.

“Hi Nik Nak.” He laughed. “You’ve grown.” 

“Obviously.” Nicole said as he put her down. They told Mr and Mrs Potter that they would be back for dinner and walked to the Muggle shop at the end of the road where they bought sweets and chocolate and crisps; enough to ruin their dinner. “He was looking at us funny, the shop keeper I mean.” 

“Yeah, he thinks there’s something odd about the Potter family.” James laughed as they settled themselves on the grass in the park. 

“Are your parents going to move?” Mary asked, looking back at the shop in the distance and biting into a Curly Wurly. 

“Not a chance, they love it here, big house, get on great with the rest of the village…everyone just thinks Mr Tate is a doddering old fool. I mean he is, but he’s sweet really.” James shrugged, throwing Nicole a bag of Nik Naks. “And I doubt he’d ever guess the truth.” 

“I brought supplies.” Marlene said, pulling hip flask from her bag. “Don’t tell mum and dad.” She added, looking at Nicole as she took a swig and passed it on to Peter.

“So did I.” James grinned, taking a packet of cigarettes from his pocket. “Don’t tell your mum and dad.” He added to Nicole.

“I won’t if I can have some.” Nicole said sweetly. Marlene laughed, that had been predictable.

“You can have a sip, I can’t take you home sloshed. And I can promise you right now that you won’t like smoking, but you’re welcome to give it a go.” 

They drank, and smoked, and ate their way through their various snacks in the afternoon sunshine. Marlene watched as Nicole and Peter raced each other to the top of the tree they were climbing. “Don’t come crying to me if you fall!” She called.

“I’m not a baby!” Nicole shouted.

“I was talking to Peter!” Marlene said. Mary laughed and lay back in the grass, closing her eyes. “How are you doing, Jamie?” Marlene asked quietly. He certainly looked better than he had done at the end of term. At least it seemed like he was sleeping again. 

“Oh you know, getting on with it.” James shrugged, grinding his cigarette out in the grass and lying down. Marlene shifted to lie with her head on his stomach and looked up at the clouds. “That one looks like a sheep.” He said, pointing up at the sky.

“They’re clouds.” Marlene laughed. “They all look like sheep.”


	94. 19th August 1975

“I’m going to bed.” Remus yawned as he sat out in the garden with his parents. It was a lovely warm night, and they’d sat out listening to the laughter and music of Mrs Number Eighteen’s garden party. The Lupins had been invited but his parents didn’t like mixing with the neighbours, at least…not when he was home. 

“Goodnight.” Hope said as he kissed her cheek. “I’ll come and tuck you in.” She teased. 

“I’m fifteen, Mum.” Remus muttered rolling his eyes. He pulled the French doors closed behind him and made his way upstairs. Another week or so of weather like this and there was bound to be a thunderstorm…Thursday might be the last full moon he had to spend by himself for a while…“Stop it.” He muttered. He couldn’t let himself get his hopes up like that. As he was climbing into bed he heard a crash from downstairs. “Mum? Dad?” He called, getting up again. He left his room and came face to face with young man in the hallway, there was a nasty smile on his face, as he raised his wand, Remus went to reach for his, but he’d left it on his bedside table.

“The little wolf cub…you know the younger ones are always more fun. They scream more.” He smiled. Remus began to back away. He thought of calling for his parents, but he didn’t want them to get hurt…especially not because of him. If he could just reach his wand. “ _Cruci—_ ” Except he never finished the spell. Hope had come up behind him, grabbed his wand arm and stabbed a pair of scissors into his throat. She pulled them out and snatched his wand away. The man let out a horrible gurgling noise, blood spilling out over the front of his robes, and Hope stabbed him again. Remus stared at her open mouthed. 

“Mum.” He whispered. Hope looked at him, and then down at her hands as though not quite understanding. They were covered in blood. She released the man and he fell to the floor. He was sure that she choked back a scream.

“Remus, are you okay?” She asked, hurrying over and taking his face in her hands. He was as tall as she was now. “Are you alright, did he hurt you?” She was crying. 

“What did you do?” He asked, his eyes drifting back to man on the floor. He wasn’t moving. 

“I swore ten years ago that no man was going to break into my house and hurt my little boy ever again.” She said, a new ferocity in her voice. “Don’t look at him.” She said, turning him away and pulling him into her arms. His ears were ringing. 

“Hope?” He heard his father gasp. “What…”

“He tried to hurt our son.” She snapped fiercely. Remus gripped the back of her blouse tightly, what was going to happen to her now?

“Did he say anything before you…” Lyall trailed off.

“He knew what I was. He tried to use the Cruciatus curse on me.” Remus said quietly, pulling out of his mother’s arms to face his father, unable to keep his eyes off of the man on the floor. Lyall’s face blanched.

“Who have you told?” Lyall demanded. 

“N-no one.” Remus stumbled, stepping back against his mother and reaching for her hand. “Some of my friends worked it out. But they didn’t tell anyone, they _wouldn’t._ ” He insisted, none of them would have betrayed him like that, he knew they wouldn’t have. 

“Remus.” His father groaned, grabbing hold of the side table.

“Is he dead?” Remus asked quietly, squeezing his mother’s hand. Lyall nodded. 

“Right.” Lyall said, straightening up. “Right. Pack some things, I want you to go to a hotel. I need to go to the ministry. Try to explain what happened. You were protecting our son, it’s going to be fine, Hope. It’s going to be fine.” Remus wished he didn’t sound so much like he was trying to convince himself. 

“Lyall.” Hope said quietly. “The full moon is in two days.” 

Lyall slammed his hand down on the side table and Remus jumped, his father was usually so mild mannered. “I know! I’m going to sort it.” 

Hope found them a room at a bed and breakfast on the other side of Manchester. Remus stared at the ceiling, watching the lights from passing cars skate across it. His father was never going let him go back to school. He was going to go back to being the lonely little boy, watching the world through his bedroom window, never allowed to be a part of it. 

And what was going to happen to his mum? Surely they couldn’t put her in Azkaban. She was a Muggle. Would the Ministry just leave her to the mercy of the Muggle police? “I’m so sorry, Mum.” He said, not knowing if she was even still awake.

“Oh sweetheart, come here.” She said, lifting up the covers of her bed. Remus got up and climbed into her bed, the way he always used to do when he was small. “It’s not your fault, darling.” She soothed, holding him close. 

“But what if they send you away?” He whispered.

“Shh, don’t worry about me, your dad is going to sort it.” Her voice sounded tight, like she was trying not to cry. 

“He’s never going to let me go back to school is he?” Remus asked, even quieter still. 

“I’ll make sure he does. Try and go to sleep now.” She smoothed his hair and tucked his head under her chin.


	95. 1st September 1975

Remus hadn’t known how to tell his friends. He’d been dreading it. He’d written with his new address but not responded to letters asking why he’d moved. The last two weeks had been terrible, sat waiting for the Ministry to come to a decision about his mother — they had eventually voted to let her off, but it had been very close. Then moving to Leeds — their neighbours had gotten suspicious…

Dorcas slipped her hand in his as he walked down the train. “Alastor told me.” She whispered in his ear. Remus froze, panic starting to bubble. At this rate the whole wizarding world would know what he was.

“What did he tell you exactly?” Remus asked, his voice hoarse. 

“That your mother killed an intruder that tried to torture you. He didn’t say why someone broke in though, do you know—”

“No.” Remus said quickly, relief flooding him. “No, we didn’t really exchange pleasantries.” He tried to smile but it he couldn’t seem to make his mouth work properly. 

“Come on, let’s go and find the others.” Dorcas said.

“I can’t, I’ve got to go and meet with the other prefects.” Remus muttered. He couldn’t think of anywhere he’d least like to be right now. 

“You’re prefect! That’s great…though I shouldn’t be too surprised, it was never going to be James or Sirius, right?” Dorcas laughed. 

“You didn’t get it then?” Remus asked.

“No, and I saw Mary yesterday. It’s not her either. See you later.” Dorcas smiled, squeezing his hand before disappearing down the train. Remus headed in the other direction, curious to see if it would be Lily or Marlene…though given that Marlene had recently blasted half the Entrance Hall apart, he had a feeling that he knew already. He slid open the door to the prefects compartment and spotted Lily straight away. She caught his eye and smiled, though it quickly fell away. He must look terrible…he had been very stressed. Florence was the female Slytherin prefect, she waved when she saw him. He recognised the boy as Stanley Coleman, though he’d never spoken to him. Remus sat down beside Lily, but he was hardly listening as they were given instructions. Lily kept shooting him worried glances. 

“Are you alright?” She asked as they walked back down the train, they were supposed to be keeping an eye out for rule breaking…he was sure that they’d find plenty wherever James and Sirius were. He looked around to make sure they wouldn’t be overheard; this wasn’t something he really fancied broadcasting to a carriage full of students. 

“Someone broke into my house and my mum killed him.” Remus muttered. Lily looked aghast. “Everything’s fine, we’re all okay…well I’m not sure Mum is.” He wasn’t sure he was all that okay either, but he was more worried about her than anything else. “But they’ve let her off, she was protecting me. It was just a lot deal with.”

“Oh Remus.” Lily murmured. He didn’t tell her that his dad was ready to pull him out of school. That would raise more questions, and while he was sure that Lily did know, he didn’t _know_.


	96. 1st September 1975 .II

Sirius looked up at the enchanted ceiling as lightning flashed across the night sky. He caught James’s eye. This was it. He bounced his leg agitatedly, waiting for Dumbledore to dismiss them. Marlene watched him curiously and he tried to compose his face, he was sure that she could feel him itching to leave the Great Hall and he didn’t want her asking why. As they were dismissed to bed Remus and Lily called for the new Gryffindor first years, they looked so tiny; Sirius had never noticed before. 

“I’m going to run and get the cloak, I’ll meet you two by the mirror.” James said quietly before weaving his way through the crowd.

“Come on.” Sirius said, nudging Peter. He chanced another glance at Marlene but she was busy chatting to Dorcas. Sirius and Peter took a couple of shortcuts up to the fourth floor and waited for James. It was fairly empty, he just hoped a teacher didn’t walk by them, they’d want to know why they hand’t gone up to bed.

“Alright.” James said, pulling the cloak off and pushing the mirror aside. Sirius lit his wand and James closed it behind them. “I brought the book, figured we might need to check the instructions. Remus is going to join us as soon as he can get away.” James said as they made their way down the steps. He lit the lamps in the cavernous room and they cautiously approached their potions. They looked right, a mouthful of deep red liquid. 

“I should go first.” Sirius said, picking up his potion. He was the best at Transfiguration, if he got this wrong those two wouldn’t stand a chance at success.

“Don’t be thick.” James muttered. “We do this together, that was the deal remember. Peter, don’t panic alright, can’t have you getting stuck half way or something.” 

“I’m fine.” Peter snapped, though he looked a little green. Sirius placed his wand to his heart as the others did the same.

“ _Amato Animo Animato Animagus._ ” They chanted. In his mind's eye he saw a large black dog, his whole body began to shift into the form. It wasn’t painful as such, but it wasn’t comfortable either. His clothes became one with his skin and turned to fur. He looked down at the floor and saw paws. He turned his head, a tail, even more bizarrely he wagged it. He wanted to laugh but it came out as a bark. _He’d done it!_ He looked over at where James had been standing, and was instead met with a grand looking stag. Brilliant, James had antlers! He couldn’t wait to tease him for _that one_. Together they looked to Peter. For a worrying moment Sirius thought he’d vanished, some strange unconsidered side effect…and then Sirius — closer to the ground that James was — spotted a rat. He moved closer and sniffed at it…he was sure it was Peter. A rat? That was a bit shit. Sirius suddenly appreciated his dog even more, everyone _loved_ dogs, hardly anyone even _liked_ rats. 

“Very good.” Remus laughed as he came down the steps to join them. He picked Peter up and set him on his shoulder and scratched Sirius behind the ears. “I think you lucked out. Imagine if one of you had turned into a lion, they’re hardly native to Scotland, I think someone would have noticed.”

Sirius imagined his human form, it took him a minute to figure out how to get back. It was slightly less uncomfortable this time, but only slightly. He figured that it would just take some getting used to. He grinned at James, who had appeared beside him once more. “We did it.”

“ _We did it!_ ” James repeated. Remus grabbed hold of them both, his arm was so tight around Sirius’s neck that it was choking him. His head bashed painfully against James’s. 

“What the—” Then he realised Remus was crying. “Mate…” Sirius said, patting his back a little awkwardly.

“You don’t know how much this means to me.” Remus mumbled. He pulled back and wiped his eyes on his sleeve. 

“We’re going to make sure you have the time of your life every full moon.” James said.

“My pronged friend is right.” Sirius laughed. “Ha! Prongs!”

“Shut up.” James said, rolling his eyes. Peter scurried down Remus and they all watched as he ran in circles. For a while Sirius was worried that he’d gotten stuck like that, but eventually he turned back into himself.


	97. 21st September 1975

Remus could feel fur beneath his cheek. This confused him, he was used to the floorboards. Remus opened his eyes, letting them adjust. He had been leaning against the sleeping stag. The evening came flooding back to him. It had been wonderful. They’d _played_. Remus had never played at the full moon before, never had a distraction. He sat up, one of them had pulled a blanket over him. Trying to stretch his aching limbs he saw the dog watching him from the bed, as Sirius stood and jumped down he turned back into himself. There was something off about his expression, worry seemed to be creasing at his forehead. 

“Does this place have hot water?” Sirius asked. Remus shook his head, and Sirius crossed the landing to the bathroom. Remus felt movement behind him and James turned back into himself. There was that same odd expression on his face. 

“I’m sorry…I didn’t want to scare you…this was a bad idea—” Remus mumbled but James was shaking his head. 

“We’re not scared of you…is it always that bad?” James asked quietly. 

“The water feels hot now, but Prongs is better at that charm that me.” Sirius said, coming back into the bedroom. Remus could hear the shower running. 

“That was the best it’s ever been.” He stood up and looked down at himself, hardly any blood, a couple of scratches here and there but nothing too bad. He limped across to the bathroom and closed the door behind him, he didn’t want them to see him cry. Not again, that had happened one too many times, they were going to think he was so pathetic. He stepped under the hot water and let out a grateful sob. They had stayed with him, all night. Kept him company, kept him from hurting himself…at least too badly. He had always been _so alone_ at the full moon. He had always woken up _so alone_. 

The water had started to cool again by the time he turned off the shower. He wrapped a towel around his waist and returned to the bedroom. One of them had laid clothes out on the bed for him. 

“Wormy, wake up.” Sirius muttered, giving his tail a tug. The rat jumped and Peter turned back into the boy. “We didn’t think it would be like that...how you got your injuries.” He said darkly. 

“It’s usually so much worse.” Remus said quickly. “My only distraction is—” 

“Hurting yourself?” James asked. Remus looked away, trying to swallow back the lump in his throat. He could feel the three of them staring at him…they must think him such a mess. James wiped the fresh blood from his arm with a damp cloth, but he needn’t worry, Madam Pomfrey would sort it out — she’d probably be shocked at how little she had to do.

“You don’t even understand what you’ve done for me.” He finally said.


	98. 4th October 1975

“Where’s Moony?” James asked coming down to the common room dressed for Quidditch practice. Remus couldn’t have been the only one without a nickname. 

“Supervising Gobstones club with Evans?” Sirius said, not looking up from his essay for McGonagall. It was ridiculous the amount of work their teachers were giving them.

“On a Saturday?” James scoffed. “You couldn’t pay me to be a prefect.”

“You’re so full of shit.” Sirius smirked. “You’d give your right arm to spend that much time with Evans. We’ve all seen you doodling her initials in your charms book.” James flushed as scarlet as his robes and Peter laughed. 

“Shut up.” James muttered, but it wasn’t like he could deny that he fancied her, they all knew. “Anyway, Moony’s going to talk me up to her.” 

“Going to take a lot of talking up.” Peter grinned. James swore at him and stalked out of the portrait hole. “Now he’s gone, look at this.” He took a photograph from his bag and turned it round to show Sirius. Sirius stared at it, his mouth falling open slightly. It was Marlene, naked. She was lying on a bed, trying to cover her face with an embarrassed sort of laugh…and she was naked. She looked even better than he’d been imagining. 

“Does Marley know you have this?” Sirius demanded fiercely. 

“Obviously not, how stupid do you think I am? You’ve seen what she can do to people.” Peter laughed. Sirius snatched the photo from him and threw it into the fire. “Hey!” Peter shouted, then lowered his voice. “I paid ten galleons for that. What’s the matter with you?” 

Sirius’s ears were ringing. What the hell was he doing buying that? “You paid ten galleons for a naked photograph of your friend, and you’re asking what’s wrong with _me_?” He hissed.

“I thought you’d be pleased.” Peter mumbled. “I know you think she’s hot too.”

“That’s not even remotely…who did you buy it off?” Sirius asked, if there were more of them he couldn’t let Marlene see, she’d be mortified.

“Calvin Clark, that friend of Craig Platt’s.” Peter said. 

“You see anyone else with one of them you burn it, or I’ll tell James that…no, I’ll tell Marley that you bought one.” Sirius threatened. Peter at least had the decency to look afraid. Sirius crossed to the boys stairs and hurried up to the seventh years dormitory. He wasn’t sure if he was hoping to run into Calvin or Craig or neither. The room was empty so he began to tear through, emptying out the trucks, tipping open the draws, until he found a sack of photos of Marlene, all in various states of undress. He didn’t know when they were taken, and he didn’t care. She obviously knew that she was being photographed, but he was sure that she hadn’t wanted them passed around the school for anyone to see. He threw them in the fire on top of the other on his way out of the common room, and went looking for Calvin. 

Sirius found him walking along the third floor corridor, he nodded at him like they were _mates_. Like he hadn’t been going round selling naked photos of Marley. Sirius pushed him up against the wall, his forearm pressed against his throat, his wand pointed at his face. “You’re going to get back every one that you sold and destroy them. I don’t care who took them, just fucking get rid go them.” He snarled. 

“Or what?” Calvin asked, he was trying to laugh but the sound was constricted by Sirius’s arm and his eyes were looking warily at his wand. 

“Or I’ll tell Marlene, you saw what she did to Craig back January. I wouldn’t want to be on the wrong side of her.” 

“Look, the stupid slut _posed_ for them, what fuck did she think was going—” Sirius took a step back and punched him hard in the face, his wand still clutched in his hand. Calvin wasn’t particularly short, but Sirius had gotten tall. He looked down at him with disgust. 

“Get rid of them, or I’m sure Marley’ll do a hell of a lot worse than hit you.” 

He flexed his hand as he walked back up to the common room, and if he ran into Craig up there then even better.


	99. 31st October 1975

The flames were creeping towards her again, the faster she ran the quicker they moved. The air was thick with smoke, she couldn’t breath, she couldn’t see. The floor beneath her feet crumbled away and she was falling…

Mary woke with a start, siting bolt up right on her bed. Her Divination book slid from her lap and hit the floor. 

“Another nightmare?” Marlene asked, her head hanging off the edge of her bed, her blonde hair trailing on the floor.

“Yeah, they’re not nearly as often any more though.” Mary murmured, reaching for her glass of water, and gulping it down so quickly that she had to cough into her shoulder. “Probably a good thing, my mother already didn’t want me coming back here, not after Babworth. If I was still having loads of nightmares about the fire that would’ve been it…I heard them arguing about me, at least I can only assume it was about me.”

“You don’t know?” Dorcas asked, picking up Mary’s book as she crossed to her own bed. 

“It was in Cantonese, I don’t speak or really understand Cantonese, so when they want to talk about me that’s the language they do it in.” 

“Your parents argue in Cantonese?” Lily asked, taking her ballet shoes from her trunk and dropping back down onto her bed.

“They usually argue in four different languages.” Mary laughed. “English, Mandarin, Cantonese and, when my mum gets really angry at dad she starts yelling at him in Malay…he doesn’t speak Malay.” 

“Do you speak any other languages?” Marlene asked.

“Not really, much to my mum’s extreme disappointment. I speak a little Malay and slightly more Mandarin, but growing up they mostly spoke to me in English and now she has the nerve to complain that I mostly speak English.” Mary said, rolling her eyes. “Dad doesn’t care, he says he’s always felt more Scottish anyway. I call Mum, Māma or Ibu, when I’m trying to get on her good side…but I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised that my grandparents call me _The English One_.” Mary laughed, they always said it in that tone too…and actually in English to make sure she understood — she’d learned not to let it bother her. Marlene rolled onto her front and took a bottle of Firewhiskey and four glasses out from under her bed. “Marley, we’ve got the Hallowe’en feast soon.”

“Just the one.” Marlene coaxed, pouring the whiskey into the glasses and handing them out. Mary bit her lip and took the glass, slightly reluctantly. It was just one glass, and it was a small measure, they’d all be fine at the feast…and it was a Friday. Mary took a sip, the liquid burned on the way down and she let out a cough. 

“Where’d you get this anyway?” Mary asked, brushing her hair out if it’s plait, it felt a mess from the tossing and turning.

“Do you really need to ask? Obviously it was Laurel and Hardy.” Lily said starting to score at the bottom of one of her shoes with a small knife. Mary was pleased to see she wasn’t the only one looking at her in confusion.

“Who?” Dorcas asked.

“Where’s Remus when you need him?” Lily sighed. “I mean Black and Potter. I’m right, aren’t I?”

“Yeah.” Marlene laughed, setting down her glass. 

“I _suppose_ they have their uses.” Lily admitted, though Mary thought it must be causing her great pain to pay them even that feeble a compliment. 

“Lily…are you destroying a brand new pair of shoes?” Marlene frowned, getting up and crossing over to Lily’s bed. 

“Yeah, they’re better to dance in when they’re a little bit…hacked to pieces and stitched back together.” Lily shrugged.

“Something else James and Sirius would be useful for.” Mary grinned. “Give them a shoe each, they’d be destroyed in no time.” 

Laughter seemed to bubble from Lily’s lips. “You’re right, but I need to actually still be able to wear them.”

“I don’t know, give them a brief, show them an old pair they could probably do it…though I don’t know how good either of them are at sewing.” Marlene said thoughtfully. “You could always give Jamie a sewing lesson, you’d make his year…you, him, alone in a little alcove somewhere…” Marlene trailed off. Lily smacked the shoe against Marlene’s thigh. “Ouch!” 

“I wouldn’t date James Potter if he was the—”

“Marley didn’t say anything about date, Lils…” Dorcas smirked. Lily turned as red as the velvet hangings and the other three doubled over in raucous giggles.

“Lily, do you _fancy_ James?” Mary teased. 

“ _Absolutely not._ ” Lily hissed, but Mary wasn’t sure that she believed her.


	100. 6th November 1975

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back to my regularly scheduled programming now that I've finished Blackinnon Week 2020, sorry that the chapters were more sporadic, but I should be back to posting daily now.

Marlene rolled over onto her front and tried to punch her pillow into a more comfortable position. She’d been lying awake for what felt like an hour now, though it could have been far less, with her eyes closed, trying to drift back off to sleep. It had mostly been a good day, the highlight of which had been dangling Avery in the air by his ankles. It served him right, groping at her like that…it had just been lucky for him that Slughorn had come round the corner when he did or she’d have done so much more damage to him. She wasn’t going to tell James _why_ she’d attacked Avery, he’d only overreact and get himself in trouble. And anyway, she’d dealt with it herself.

It was no use. Sleep was proving evasive. Marlene wrenched open her hangings, pulled on one of the jumpers she’d stolen from Sirius, and tiptoed across the dormitory. She closed the door quietly behind her and descended the spiral staircase, longing for the warmth of the common room fireplace. 

She spotted Sirius lounging in his usual chair; he was watching her with that grin that made him look a hundred times more handsome than he already was. Marlene felt her cheeks turn pink and looked away, spotting James and Ana in the corner, probably still going over plans for the match on Saturday.

“Come and sit down?” He asked, he sounded so hopeful that she couldn’t refuse him. She sighed, why did he have to look _so good_ when she looked a mess. She crossed over to him and folded herself down into the armchair opposite.

“I like your socks.” He smirked, and Marlene turned redder still. She liked them too, the reached to her knees. Red and fluffy with little gold lions on them, but she’d never intended for Sirius to see them.

“I hate you, Sirius Black.” She said, biting back a smile despite her embarrassment.

“No you don’t, you don’t hate me.” He grinned, but his gaze was intense. She was sure that her heart actually stopped for a moment. She looked away quickly, it was too much.

“Don’t look at me like that, your string of girlfriends will put my head on a stick.” Marlene muttered, staring into the fire. 

“Look at you like what?”

“Like you’re in lo—” She broke off suddenly, she hadn’t meant that, it had just slipped out. Sirius obviously wasn’t in love with her…she quickly stamped down the wonderful possibilities that were igniting in her chest. “Like I’m the most beautiful girl you’ve ever seen.” She corrected.

“But you are the most the beautiful girl I’ve ever seen.” He said, sounding defensive.

“Shut up.” She smiled, he was so sweet to her. “I’m getting dirty looks from other girls.” They sat in silence for a moment, listening to the sound of the flames and the murmurs of James and Ana.

“Did you really hang Avery in the air by his ankles?” Sirius eventually asked, and Marlene laughed.

“Yeah, if anyone deserves it, right?” She grinned. “There he was, just minding his own business, on his way to whatever class the Slytherins had, then he was hanging upside down.” She heard the click of a camera and turned to look at James. “The spell is Levicorpus.” She murmured, flicking her wand at James and he was hoisted upside down.

“Marley!” James shouted. Laughing, Marlene jerked her wand again and he came crashing back down. “You think you’re so funny.” He said, righting himself.

“I think I’m hilarious.” Marlene called over. She sat back in her chair.

“What did Craig want? I saw you talking this afternoon.” Sirius asked, his voice suddenly, well, serious. 

“Sirius, don’t.” She frowned. “I’m too tired to do this with you now.”

“You too good for him.” He muttered. Marlene shook her head, just wanting to put an end to the conversation.

“He just wanted to apologise for what happened between us—” She started to explain, but Sirius cut her off.

“You mean when he told everyone about how you two…” Marlene glared at him, they weren’t going to discuss that day. Having sex with Craig had been one of the most miserable moments of her whole life, and she wasn’t going to talk about it with Sirius, she didn’t want to talk about it with _anyone._

“About how we what, Sirius?” Marlene challenged. She felt her whole body deflate as her irritation with him dissipated. There was such concern in his face, he seemed to genuinely care. “He explained that he told one friend — which is exactly the same as I did.” She added quickly, “and that friend told other people.” She whispered, leaning closer. Sirius closed the rest of the distance.

“You can’t give him another chance.” He pleaded. Marlene turned her head slightly and kissed his cheek before standing up.

“Goodnight.” She said softly, turning away and heading back up to bed. She was scared that if she stayed down there she’d do something stupid. The temptation to just grab hold and snog him had been almost overwhelming.


	101. 21st November 1975

Marlene’d had to spend the all of morning break in the library, desperately trying to finish off her Arithmancy essay. She had never been this behind before. Her brain was starting to feel like mush lately as all of her subjects muddled together. She hated it. It made her feel stupid, when she certainly wasn’t. 

She shouldn’t even go to Hogsmeade tomorrow, she hadn’t even started McGonagall’s essay on conjuring spells but she desperately needed the break.

“Come on.” Remus said, putting his books away. “The bell’s about to ring.” 

Marlene looked miserably down at her conclusion, it wasn’t her best work but she thought it might _just_ scrape an Exceeds Expectations if she was really lucky, it was definitely an Acceptable however, so it would just have to do. “Yeah alright.” She said, rolling up her essay and putting it away. She threw her bag over one shoulder and hurried from the library with Remus. She’d been hoping to practice the Patronus charm again today, but she had Quidditch Practice tonight as well…it was stupid to take on extra work. The first floor corridor was quiet, maybe that was why the noise echoed so loudly. A sharp crack pierced the silence and Marlene’s back exploded. She screamed and fell forwards, the agony was unbearable.

“Marlene!” Remus shouted, dropping to his knees beside her. Marlene rolled over and saw Snivellus smirking at her. She grabbed her wand and aimed it his face. He let out a cry of pain as his nose broke, splattering the wall with blood. One day he was going to get sick of her breaking his nose and leave her the fuck alone. She watched him flee down the nearest staircase and out of sight. _Fucking coward_. Remus pulled her arm around his shoulders and helped her to her feet. “I’m taking you to the hospital wing.” 

“I’m fine.” Marlene lied, but the pain in her voice betrayed her. 

“No you’re not.” Remus muttered, helping her along the corridor. 

Madam Pomfrey gave her usual lecture about duelling in the corridors as she tried to patch her up. She seemed to be getting more and more frustrated with every spell that she tried.

“What curse was used?” 

“I don’t know, it was non-verbal.” Marlene mumbled, as she lay on her front. The air in the hospital wing felt chilly on her bare skin.

“Well who did it, I can ask them what spell—”

“I didn’t see.” Marlene said quickly. She wasn’t a grass, she didn’t need to go running to the staff. She’d get Snivellus back herself. Madam Pomfrey disappeared behind the curtains that she’d drawn around her bed. She could see Remus’s silhouette on the other side. 

“Remus?” She asked. Remus slipped in through the curtain and gasped. She suppose that answered her next question. “It’s bad then?” She asked, sitting up, trying to keep her front covered with the blanket. Remus blushed and looked away. Always the gentleman. Remus returned with a mirror; looking over her shoulder she could see hideous red marks snaking down her back. Well, if Madam Pomfrey couldn’t get rid of them, that was backless dresses out. Marlene reached back to touch her fingers to her skin, it felt so sore. “Don’t tell Jamie, I don’t need him retaliating for me.” 

“Why won’t you tell her it was Snape?” Remus hissed, siting down on the bed beside her.

“Out.” Madam Pomfrey said, shooing Remus away, and pushing Marlene back down. Marlene winced, was going to kill Snivellus.


	102. 21st November 1975 .II

James was starting to get worried about Marlene, she’d not been in class since Charms that morning. Had one of the bastard Slytherins done something to her? He should’ve gone looking when she missed History of Magic, checked that she was okay, but he’d just assumed she was skiving off. If she didn’t show up soon she was going to miss Quidditch Practice, and that really wasn’t like her.

“Have you seen—” He started to ask Sirius when the portrait hole opened and Marlene climbed through.

“Marley, were've you been?” He asked her, setting down his quill.

“Doesn’t matter. Let me just take my bag up and we can go.” She said. As she tried to cross to the girls dormitory Lily grabbed her arm.

“Come with me and Severus to Hogsmeade tomorrow.” Lily asked, Marlene stared at her, James couldn’t blame her really. Was Lily out of her mind? Why would anyone willingly spend the day with Snivellus?

“Sure, right after my date with the giant squid.” Marlene muttered, Sirius sniggering from his armchair beside James. “I hate him Lily, and I can’t understand why you don’t.” Marlene wasn’t making any effort to keep her voice down and they were starting to attract attention. 

“Don’t be like that Marlene, he’s not so bad—”

“Show her what he did.” Remus said calmly, setting his book down on the table. James straightened up as Marlene glared at Remus. A war seemed to be going on behind Marlene’s eyes, eventually she set her bag down and pulled off her jumper. As she bunched up her long hair Sirius gasped and started to rise to his feet. James stared, horror struck at her back. Dark red marks snaked down beneath her top. Marlene let go of her hair and it concealed them from view again. He could feel rage bubbling up, choking him, ready burst out.

“Madam Pomfrey said that they should fade in time, but as I couldn’t tell her what the spell was, and I wouldn’t tell who had done it…”

 _Well_. James thought, savagely standing up. _If Marlene wasn’t going to deal with this then he’d have to._ He seemed to fail miserably at keeping people safe, but he _had_ to protect his sister. “Shall we, Padfoot?”

“I think we shall, Prongs.” The together they turned to the portrait hole.

“What the fuck do you two think you’re doing?” Marlene asked, in a tone that told James that she knew exactly what they were about to do.

“Defending your honour.” Sirius said simply.

“ _Daring, nerve and chivalry set—_ ” James began forcing a sing-song voice to try and cover his anger, but he broke off at the glare Marlene shot him. 

“Sit back down.” She snapped. “I don’t need either of you fighting my battles for me.” She pulled her jumper on and turned back to Lily. “He’s such a bad guy Lily—”

“He’s not, he’s just a little lost.” Lily said softly. James didn’t understand how she could still defend him, after everything Snivellus had done. How could she stand there time and time again and sing his praises.

“This idiot is a little lost.” Marlene said, jabbing her thumb in Sirius’s direction…she had a point. “Snape is…The things he says about you are not okay. The things he does to people are not okay. You like saving people, that’s your thing…I get it, hell, I love you for it. But not everyone can be saved, Lily.”

“I don’t believe that. I’ll talk to him, tell him that he can’t do that to people.” Lily whispered. Lily saw the best in everyone but there was no good in Snape.

“James, we’re going to be late for Quidditch practice.” Marlene muttered, striding to the portrait hole and holding it open behind her. James looked between her and Lily, before reluctantly following her out. He didn’t want to leave Lily right now, she was so upset. He hated seeing her so tearful, it made his heart ache. All he ever wanted to do was make her smile…not that felt particularly adept at that.

Snivellus was waiting at the end of the corridor. When he saw them he drew his wand and James and Marlene did the same. James wanted to hurt him…more than he ever had before. He felt Marlene’s hand close around his wrist. She must be able to feel the desire to curse the greasy bastard radiating off of him. 

“Can you get Lily for me?” He asked her, ignoring James completely. James let out a humourless laugh and tried to pull his arm out of Marlene’s grip. 

“Get fucked, Snivellus. Marlene showed her what you did.” He hissed through gritted teeth. Snape’s face blanched and he pointed his wand furiously at Marlene. James wrenched his arm free, but before he could decide on a spell Marlene shoved him around the corner. James seethed mutinously beside her as they walked out into the downpour outside. Practice was going to be a nightmare. “What did you stop me for?” He demanded. “You’re my friend, if you think I not going to stick up for you…and if you think Sirius is going to stand by when he’s completely—” He broke off quickly. He’d been about to tell her that Sirius was in love with her, but he didn’t _know_ that, not for sure.

“Did you not listen to a word I said before or is your skull just so thick that nothing penetrates through? I don’t need you to protect me.” She snapped. _Tough_. James thought. He knew that she didn’t need his protection, but she was going to get it anyway. James Potter and Marlene McKinnon protected each other, that was the way it had always been and that was the way it always would be. 

“Where the hell have you two been?” Ana demanded as they stormed into the changing room. They got ready in furious silence. James couldn’t take his eyes off of Marlene’s back as she stripped off. How could Lily still defend Snivellus. James couldn’t even begin to imagine what sort of curse had done that, and Snivellus was just firing them off as causally as a disarming charm. 

“Find something else to look at, Potter, or you’re not going to be able to see for the rest of the evening.” She hissed, pulling her robes on.


	103. 22nd November 1975

All Sirius had been able to think about that morning was Marlene McKinnon. Not that that was anything out of the ordinary, but it was becoming quite the distraction. This wasn’t part of his usual fantasies though, the sight of her back seemed to be burned into his mind. He’d never seen James as angry as he’d been when he’d returned from Quidditch practice. James had been furious with Snivellus, understandably so, but he’d been snapping at Remus, ranting about Marlene. In the end Sirius had told him to shut up or go and sleep in the common room.

James seemed have cooled off by the time he’d joined them at the breakfast table, and after an apology to Remus, the four Gryffindor boys made their way into Hogsmeade, all forgotten. They were just on their way into Zonko’s when Sirius spotted Marlene further down the high street, backing away from Slughorn. Sirius was sure he knew what that was about, Marlene had been avoiding his little club like the plague. He had to go and rescue her…it was the chivalrous thing to do.

“I’ll see you later.” He told the others. He crept up to Marlene and slipped his hand into hers. She jumped. “Want to get a drink?” He asked. She looked past him for moment to where he assumed James and the others were still watching them.

“Sorry Professor, I’ve got to go.” She said quickly, giving Sirius’s hand a squeeze.

“I’ll get you back yet, Marlene!” Slughorn called after her as they crossed the street and entered The Three Broomsticks.

“If you’d stepped and further backwards, you’d have been stuck in a brick wall.” Sirius teased. “Find a table, I’ll grab us a drink.” He crossed over to the bar and ordered two Butterbeers from Rosmerta. She looked between him and Marlene and gave him a knowing look. “Shut up.” He mumbled, trying not so smile. “So Slughorn’s still trying to collect you?” He asked when he’d joined her at one of the tables in the window. 

“Well, I suppose ‘re-collect me’ would be more accurate.” Marlene shrugged and added in a dignified voice, “and I’m not a _thing_ to be collected by anyone.” No, she most certainly wasn’t. 

“You know what your problem is, Marley? You’re brilliant.” Sirius smiled, brilliant, and brave, and beautiful, and the most wonderful girl he had ever met in his life. He couldn’t say all that though. He couldn’t tell her that he knew she constantly outshone him. That he felt so lucky that she even spoke to him. “Even more brilliant than me.” He added. “But you don’t cause enough mayhem. Cause more trouble and he might go off you.” Marlene laughed her magical laugh. He didn’t pine over girls; they pined over him…and yet…

“Does it hurt?” He blurted out before he could stop himself. When she cocked her head in confusion he gestured at her back.

Marlene nodded. “A bit, yeah.”

“What happened?” He asked, trying to keep his voice calm. He’d pestered Moony all night, but he wouldn’t tell him. He just kept saying that he’d have to ask Marlene. 

“Remus and I were on our way back from the library, and there was this noise…like a whip crack, and it felt like my back was on fire. It knocked me to the ground it was so painful. Not so much that I couldn’t reach my wand and break Snape’s nose, mind.” She sounded so smug when she mentioned breaking Snape’s nose, and a swelling pride interrupted the bubbling anger.

“The least he deserved.” Sirius muttered, taking swig of his drink as they fell into silence again. “James said practice was awful?”

“Awful is an understatement. We couldn’t see a thing.” Marlene laughed. “I threw the Quaffle at the back of James’s head—”

Sirius supposed that had also contributed to his foul mood. “Yeah, that was deliberate though, right?” He grinned, and she smiled back…he took the mischievous twinkle in her eyes as a yes.

“Then Ana and Eric collided into each other, and came off their brooms. Luckily they weren’t too far off the ground, but we had to call it a night after—”

“Alright, McKinnon.” They both turned as Avery approached their table. “Wanna meet me and Mulciber in the Astronomy tower tonight?” He asked, a cocky smirk playing at the corners of his mouth. The look of contempt that Marlene gave Avery…if looks could kill. 

“If you were the last two guys on the planet, a Mountain Troll would still be the better choice.”

“Run along, Avery.” Sirius laughed. Avery flushed a furious shade of red. 

“You’re not as hot you think you are McKinnon, you’re just a slag. I figured a dirty little whore like you was a sure—” 

In Sirius’s haste to reach his wand he knocked his drink over but he didn’t care. Marlene shot him a warning look and inclined her head in the direction of a table full of teachers across the pub. Avery grabbed Marlene’s shoulder and Sirius watched his skin whiten as his fingers dug in. “Let go.” He hissed.

“You know.” Avery whispered softly, brushing her temple with the tip of his wand. “I could always make you.”

“ _Anteoculatia!_ ” Sirius shouted, at the same time Marlene drew her wand and shouted “ _Furnunculus!_ ” Avery stumbled backwards clutching his head as horns sprung up out of his skull and oozing blisters erupted over his face.

“Black! McKinnon! _What are you doing_?” McGonagall had been sat in the pub, and she looked livid. “Go back to the castle and wait for me in my office.” She snapped, weaving around the tables to Avery.

Sirius sat down in McGonagall’s chair and put his feet up on the desk. He hoped she’d hurry up and get this over with, he’d been having such a good time with Marlene and he wanted to have her to himself for just a little bit longer before their friends returned from Hogsmeade. Marlene looked worried, she was chewing her bottom lip in that adorable way she always did when she was nervous. He wanted to tell her that it was nothing to worry about, but he knew it would been no use. She _hated_ getting in trouble with McGonagall. He was used to it by now. 

“Get up!” McGonagall demanded, slamming the office door behind her. Sirius jumped to his feet and strode around the desk to stand beside Marlene. “Attacking another student, two against one! I am disgusted! I should ban you both from all future Hogsmeade visits. Explain yourselves, now.”

Marlene stood there in silence, staring at her shoes. _Fine_. If she wasn’t going to tell her then he would. “Professor, Avery threatened to put Marlene under the Imperius Curse.” 

“What?” McGonagall asked sharply, sitting down in her chair. “Marlene, is that true?”

“Well that was the implication.” Marlene clarified. “I was defending myself…and Sirius—”

“It was a gut reaction Professor. I'm not apologising to Avery, so don’t even ask.” He said, quickly. She could punish him all he liked, Avery deserved what he got and more. “I’ll take the Hogsmeade ban first.”

McGonagall’s nostrils flared. “I am taking twenty points from Gryffindor. There was a table full of teachers you could have alerted rather than attack. I will be speaking with Avery and Professor Slughorn…please go back to the common room, you are not to return to Hogsmeade today.” She added.

“Yes, Professor.” They said in unison. When they were well out of earshot Sirius muttered, “You know, I think that might be the first time McGonagall’s forgotten to give me a detention. Would you really not have told her?”

Marlene seemed to consider the question for a moment before shaking her head. “No. I’d have told her.”

Marlene sat in James’s usual armchair by the fire working on McGonagall’s essay; Sirius sat opposite, occasionally flicking screwed up bits of that morning’s _Daily Prophet_ at her and then looking around as though it could’ve possibly been someone else in the practically empty common room. “For fuck’s sake, Black.” She snapped, combing another tiny paper ball out of her hair, though the smile playing at the corner of her lips was betraying her. “Just because you’re already vanishing kittens…”

“The other day I overheard McGonagall tell Flitwick that I’m gifted.” He said smugly, puffing out his chest, and cracking his knuckles.

“You sure she didn’t say _special_?” She challenged with a smirk. “Anyway, none of you idiots hold a candle to me in Defence Against the Dark Arts, and everyone knows _that’s_ the coolest subject.”

Sirius opened his mouth to retort but frowned. “Evans?” He was looking beyond her, to the portrait hole. Marlene spun around. Lily had just stepped in, closely followed by James, Remus and Peter. She looked very pale; James took his coat from around her shoulders.

“Lily. What’s wrong?” She asked. Jumping to her feet and helping her into the chair she’d just vacated. “What happened?” She demanded at James, unable to keep the accusatory note out of her voice. Lily pulled off her own coat and hung it over the arm of the chair.

“Don’t look at me like that. _I_ have’t done anything.” James said, sounding very offended. “Professor Sprout came down to Hogsmeade and took Valerie Miller back to the castle, that sixth year Hufflepuff that sort of looks like a rabbit. Her parents are Muggles, people are saying they were found murdered by Death Eaters this morning. Her brother, Greg, is in second year, Ravenclaw. The one Peter gave those giant eyebrows to.”

Only ‘cause his aim is terrible.” Sirius smirked. Peter scowled at them. Marlene sat on the arm of the chair and brushed Lily’s hair behind her ear.

“Death Eaters have kids too, one of them could have seen the Millers on the platform.” Remus said quietly. Lily looked sick, and Marlene was sure they were all thinking the same thing; Lily’s parents could easily be next.

“Pete, go to the kitchens and get her a cup of tea.” Sirius barked, reaching forwards to give her hand a comforting pat.

“Evans, tell them what _Snivvy_ said.” James muttered bitterly, and Lily mumbled for him to leave it alone. “Fine, I’ll tell them.” He shrugged. “He said ‘let’s hope your sister is next.’ Why are you friends with him, Lily?”

“He didn’t mean it.” Lily mumbled, though she sounded throughly unconvinced. “They don’t get along.”

Marlene had spent a good chunk of the summer at Lily’s, and privately she thought that Petunia was a bitch…but what a terrible thing to say. When Peter returned Lily thanked him for the tea and pulled her feet up on the chair, staring sadly into the fire.

“Anyway.” Remus said sensing, like Marlene had, that Lily was done discussing the matter. “Did you really hex Avery in The Three Broomsticks?” He asked, looking between Sirius and Marlene. They smiled at each other.

“You would’ve too.” Sirius shrugged, rolling up his completed essay and shoving it in his bag. “Vile piece of shit got what was coming to him.”


	104. 28th November 1975

Flitwick had rearranged the classroom, wanting to separate some of the more troublesome Gryffindors. Lily could hardly blame him, but it meant that she was now stuck sharing a desk with Sirius…she supposed that it could be worse, it could be James — he was insufferable in Charms. In fact he’d been more infuriating in general this year, he had his moments of course (he’d been exceptionally kind to her last week), and Lily was trying to cut him some slack…but he was getting on her nerves. She kept telling herself to be patient, that he wasn’t really okay, but he was behaving like such a spoilt child.

Remus seemed to be getting along far better, he seemed to have been able to set aside what he’d witnessed over the summer…but then again he seemed far more subdued this year. Maybe they just had different ways of trying to cope…either way, right now at least, Sirius was certainly the better desk mate than James. _So what_ if James seemed to be getting more and more handsome with every passing week? It didn’t matter that he had those moments that made her stomach flutter. Or that when he smiled at her it made her heart hurt. She couldn’t got out with someone with a head that big. Or someone who would do nothing but fight with Severus. It would drive her mad.

Lily looked up from the frog she was supposed to be silencing when Sirius let out a longing sigh, she followed his gaze at it took a considerable amount of self control not to giggle. Sirius Black, womaniser extraordinaire, was _pining_ over a girl. 

“Are you love sick?” Lily smirked, trying to keep her tone innocent. 

“No.” Sirius said, a little too quickly. They watched Marlene push her hair back and grab James’s arm, laughing as she told him some story or other. “She’s brilliant though, isn’t she? So smart.” 

“I suppose she is, yeah.” Lily grinned. 

“And funny, too?” He asked. “It’s not just me that thinks that right?”

“No, she’s definitely funny.” Lily laughed. He was so _smitten_. “Do you _fancy_ Marley?”

“No.” Sirius said, again, much too quickly. “It doesn’t matter. James would kill me.” 

“Probably.” Lily admitted. “I think you could take him though.” 

Sirius was shaking his head. “ _Silencio_.” He snapped, jabbing his wand at his frog. It fell silent mid croak. “I thought you’d be telling me to stay away from her too.”

“It hasn’t been my experience that you ever do what you’re told.” Lily grinned. The truth was, Sirius was one of the only boys that Lily hadn’t heard lusting over Marlene because of how hot they thought she was. Her friend had far greater qualities than that, and she deserved someone who recognised them. Craig had started hovering around her again. It seemed like every time she was with Marlene he seemed to pop up out of no where — as though he’d found someway of circumventing the block on apparition on the grounds. “I think Marlene could do a lot worse than you…and you’re certainly a massive improvement on Craig.” 

“You don’t know the half of it.” Sirius muttered darkly. She’d been about to ask what he meant when Flitwick approached their table.


	105. 8th December 1975

That morning McGonagall made her way along the Gryffindor table taking names of those who would be staying at Hogwarts for Christmas. Remus had fully intended to, it was easier to explore the castle when it was quieter, and they had the map to work on. Remus didn’t even need to ask if Sirius was staying, the less time he spent with his family the happier he was. James was staying, and because Sirius and James were staying, of course Peter was staying.

“You’re going home?” James asked, sounding slightly disappointed. “I thought you said you were going to stay?” He was right, he had said that, then he’d gotten the letter from his mother last night. Something was wrong. He could feel it. She’d said that everything was fine, that she was fine. That he didn’t need to worry. But it had been so short. Usually she wrote him pages and pages, little mundane details about her life. This had none of that. Something was wrong. 

“I want to check on Mum.” Remus mumbled. If he was still having nightmares about that night, he hated to think what she was going through. _This was all his fault._ He had made her life so difficult — both of his parents lives so difficult. 

“Is she alright?” Sirius frowned. Remus shrugged. No, she was fine. She’d just been busy, that was all. That was the only reason her letter had been so short, the only reason that she had sounded off.

“I’m probably just overreacting.” Remus shrugged. “Anyway, James, why are you staying? Your parents are going on holiday.”

James shot a quick look at Sirius. “They’re going to Canada. Scotland is cold enough.” He said and Remus knew that he was lying. He just didn’t want to leave Sirius here to stew all by himself. 

“Well.” Sirius said, lowering his voice. “We’ll just have to make the most of this full moon.” Remus looked around to make sure that they weren’t overheard, but the rest of the table seemed absorbed in their own conversations. Remus took a bite of his toast and tried not to grin. He knew he shouldn’t enjoy this so much, but the thrill of running free, of not having to be locked up every full moon, was undeniable. 

“Hi Sirius.” Rachel Lee giggled as she passed them with two other seventh years. They all looked up and Sirius leaned back in his seat to watch her walk away, a smirk on his face. How was he pulling seventh year girls? Especially seventh year girls that looked like Rachel Lee. Well that was obvious, but still, it was hardly fair. Remus had never even been on a date with a girl. It was probably for the best, it was hardly smart for people like him to get involved in relationships. Even if it wasn’t dangerous, they would surely notice that something was up, and the fact that he was a werewolf wasn’t something he wanted to advertise. He glanced over at Dorcas. Sometimes he thought _maybe_ he might like her like that…but he was having a hard time working out if he even _wanted_ something more than friendship with her. And she’d certainly never shown any _romantic_ interest in him.


	106. 19th December 1975

“Your smoke screen wasn’t _that_ bad, Mary.” Dorcas insisted as they filed out of their Defence Against the Dark Arts classroom. Mary snorted but Marlene thought Dorcas had a point. She’d been worried all that smoke would have sent Mary into a panic but she’d kept her head.

“I mean the smoke wasn’t _supposed_ to smell like burning rubber…” Marlene teased, lifting the neck of her robes and sniffing. “I’m going to smell like it all day—” She broke off as a petal landed on her arm, and then another. Marlene spun around as petals began to fall around them. “Craig, what the…” She she trailed off, turning slightly pink. “People are staring.” 

“Thought you deserved a grand gesture.” He grinned, pushing off from the wall. “Want to get lunch with me?”

“Don’t.” Dorcas hissed, grabbing her arm. Marlene shrugged her off and took Craig’s hand.

“Just lunch.” She told him. He did seem so sorry about how things had ended between them.

‘Just lunch’ quickly turned into them snogging behind a suit of armour on the third floor corridor. One of his hands in her hair, the other inching ever lower from where it had started on her back. “Go out with me again.” He urged against the skin of her throat, pushing her closer to the wall. “It won’t be like last time, I promise.” 

“Craig.” She she groaned. He wasn’t playing fair. “Alight then.” She conceded. James was going to kill her but she’d cross that bridge later. 

“Skive off with me.” Craig grinned. “I’d much rather be with you than Professor Sprout.” 

“I can’t I’ve got Transfiguration next.” Marlene said, sliding out from between him and the wall. Craig grabbed her elbow. 

“You’d rather be with McGonagall than me?” He challenged. Marlene pulled her arm free and kissed him quickly.

“Not rather, but she’ll give me detention.” Marlene reasoned. 

“ _I_ could give you detention.” Craig smirked, hooking his finger around the strap of her bag to pull her back to him.

“Ha! Behave.” Marlene laughed, snatching her bag back. “I’ll see you later.” 

Marlene couldn’t see Craig immediately when she’d finished dinner, and she wasn’t waiting around for him while it was snowing. The courtyard was quiet, Marlene looked up at the sky as fresh snow fell around her. She was starting to regret deciding to go home for Christmas, it was just so much more magical at Hogwarts. She turned at the sound of movement. Rachel Lee was wrapped around Sirius, straddling him on a bench; they were both too absorbed in their kiss to have noticed her. Marlene strode across the courtyard and slipped quietly through the door. 

Good for him. This was how it was supposed to be. Marlene and Craig, and Sirius and his girl of the month. Even as she thought it, irritation tried to creep its way up from her stomach, but she squashed it back down. _This was how it was supposed to be._

Still, even with Rachel kissing him, Marlene knew she could still distract him. She concentrated hard on that wonderful, happy day she’d had with James that summer. “ _Expecto patronum_.” She whispered. The silvery lioness — she’d only managed it a handful of times before, but it was definitely getting stronger — prowled towards Sirius. Marlene leant back and waited, wondering if he would follow it. A few moments later, Sirius came around the corner…and, even better, without Rachel. 

“I should have know it was yours.” He murmured, shaking his head and smiling slightly. “You can cast a Patronus?” 

“I’ve been teaching myself, finally got the hang of it.” Marlene grinned.

“You’re extraordinary.” Sirius said.

“Yeah, I am.” Marlene laughed, she didn’t really think that, but she supposed she did have her moments. Sirius stepped closer and she stepped back. He couldn’t just be kissing Rachel one minute then look at her like _that_ the next. It wasn’t fair. And anyway, she had Craig. 

“Teach me?” Sirius asked.

“What?” 

“Teach me how to cast a patronus? I’ve got nothing better to be doing right now.” He said. Why did he have to to be so irresistible. Marlene suddenly didn’t _care_ that she was supposed to be meeting Craig.

“Alright then.” She said, leading him down the corridor to an empty classroom. “Just a patronus lesson, mind. Before you get any ideas.” She added as he held the door open for her…before she got any ideas either.


	107. 20th December 1975

The absence of his mum waiting for him at Kings Cross had only increased Remus’s aching sense of worry. His dad had told him that she wasn’t feeling well, but he hadn’t met his eyes when he’d said it. They’d spent the rest of the car journey in silence. All three and a half hours of it.

Remus bolted from the car as soon as his dad pulled up, and hurried into the house to look for his mum. He eventually found her sat up in bed.

“Hi Sweetheart.” Hope said quietly. She hardly even looked like his mum. She was so thin, her face gaunt and hollow. Remus didn’t know what to say. She’d been fine in September.

“I’ll be back in a minute.” He said quickly. He strode from the room and into his own, closing the door behind him. A sob ripped its way up through his throat. She’d been fine in September, and now she looked half dead. His door opened and his felt his father’s hand on his shoulder. He shrugged it off.

“Remus.” Lyall said quietly. Remus rounded on him, shoving him backwards. Lyall grabbed the dresser to steady himself.

“What's _happened_ to her?” He demanded.

“She’s ill. She’s not been eating, she hardly gets out of bed anymore. I don’t remember the last time she slept without nightmares…so now she rarely sleeps.” Lyall said quietly, his face twisted in agony.

“Why haven’t you _done_ something about it?” Remus snapped, what was he thinking just letting her waste away like that.

“She keeps saying that she’s fine—”

Remus laughed bitterly and pushed Lyall aside to return to Hope. “Come and give me a cuddle, Remus.” She said softly. Remus crossed the room and climbed into bed next to her. When she wrapped her arms around him he could feel her bones digging into him. His eyes burned and he tried to force back the tears. She didn’t need him crying right now. “I’ve missed you so much, my perfect little boy.” 

“I’ve missed you too, Mum.” He choked.

“You can’t let him modify my memory.” Hope whispered, so quietly that Remus could barely hear her.

“What?” He asked. “Who, Dad?” He felt her nod against the back of his head. 

“He keeps suggesting it. To make me forget. But I can’t, I don’t deserve to forget what I did. You can’t let him.” She pleaded quietly.

Remus brushed away a tear that escaped his attempts to suppress them, and nodded. He didn’t know what to do for the best, but how could he refuse her anything right now?


	108. 22st December 1975

Sirius was seething. Before Moony had left for the Christmas holidays he’d let slip that Marlene was going out with Craig again. What did she see in him? He was terrible, he’d treated her like shit; Sirius couldn’t understand why she’d ever want anything to do with him. He should have told her about the photographs…but then Craig would probably find a way to weasel out of it, say Calvin had nicked them or something. Sirius suppose this was possible, but he highly fucking doubted it. 

Maybe Remus had got it wrong, that was the main reason he was writing to her. He read over the letter once more.

_Dear Marlene,_

_Remus says that Craig Platt asked you to go back out with him, is that true? You can’t seriously be considering it, the guy is such a prick. He’s so full of himself, and he talks down to you. Come on, Marls, you deserve so much better than that. You know you do. How are your Christmas holidays going? Things are pretty quiet at school, most people have gone home to be with their families. James has stayed to keep me company, though. He said that his parents have gone away and he didn’t fancy going to Canada when Scotland is cold enough, but I can tell when he’s lying._

_Give Jezza my love.  
Sirius_

_P.S. Last time you went out with Craig you were in fourth year and he was in sixth. That’s just creepy. It’s still creepy now._

That sounded alright, he hadn’t accidentally slipped in the part where he was completely in love with her; about how he was pining, off his food, imagining moonlit walks in the snow. He’d rambled on about James a little, she probably knew all of that, but James felt like a safe subject. Sirius coaxed down one of the school owls and sent it off into the cold morning with his letter.

He found James on the landing over looking the Entrance Hall and leaning over the stone railing. Sirius heard someone loudly demand to speak to the headmaster from the lower level.

“Mr McKinnon.” James said as Sirius approached. Sirius joined him, leaning over and looking down into the Entrance hall. 

“As in—”

“Marley’s dad, yeah. I’m surprised, it’s usually Mrs McKinnon who goes off on one.” James said. Sirius had never really paid Marlene’s parents any mind on the platform. But Mr McKinnon was a handsome man, and a lot younger than Sirius had been expecting. He knew they were friends with the Potters, so he’d expected McKinnons to be on the older side too, but Gordon McKinnon could only be in his forties. 

“Somebody has hurt my daughter and I want to know who’s responsible!” Sirius wasn’t sure even as an adult he would dare shout at McGonagall the way Mr McKinnon was now. He looked up at them and spotted James. “James! Get down here!” There was a lot of Jeremy in his face, or, Sirius supposed, the other way around, but Marlene’s eyes were exactly like her fathers…Sirius was sure that it was even more noticeable now that they were narrowed in fury. James stopped half way down the marble staircase.

“Mr McKinnon, I cannot allow you to order students around.” McGonagall said, she seemed remarkably calm. Mr McKinnon turned back to her.

“Have you seen the state of Marlene’s back? I want to know who’s responsible. In fact, where’s Slughorn, I’m willing to bet anything it was a Slytherin.” Mr McKinnon snarled. Sirius grinned. He found something particularly amusing about this former Slytherin jumping straight to the, albeit in this instance correct, assumption that the perpetrator was a Slytherin.

“Mr Mc—”

“It’s fine, Professor.” James said.

“Do you know who it was?” Mr McKinnon demanded. 

“No.” James lied. Sirius didn’t understand, why didn’t he tell him that it was Snivellus. Why the fuck was James protecting that greasy little prick?

“Mr McKinnon, please, come with me to my office.” McGonagall said, and Sirius noticed that it wasn’t a request. James returned to his side and they watched as McGonagall lead him Mr McKinnon to her office.

“Why’d you lie? Why are you covering for Snivellus.” Sirius hissed.

“I’m not _covering for Snivellus._ ” James muttered. “I’m backing up Marley’s story. She obviously didn’t tell him who it was.” And then added. “I don’t _like_ it.”

“Sounds like he’d be up here every week if you told him half the stuff people have said and done to her.” Sirius said as they made their way back to the common room.

“Are you kidding, one of his darling girls, he’d pull her out of school.” James muttered.


	109. 23rd December 1975

Marlene’s response arrived mid morning the following day. James had talked Sirius into a game of chess, to which he reluctantly agreed, and when Peter opened the common room window, Gwendolen soared into the room and knocked over Sirius’s king as she landed. Favouritism. Sirius took the letter and the owl fluttered onto James’s shoulder to give his ear an affectionate nibble before flying back out into the bright morning sky. 

Sirius got up from their spot by the fire and moved over to one of the sofas. He didn’t want to read the letter in front of James…not that he thought Marley would write anything that would make it uncomfortable, he was just more concerned with potential traitorous facial expressions. 

_Dear Sirius,_

_I don’t know where you get the nerve calling anyone full of themselves! You’re one of the most arrogant people I’ve ever met! Yeah, Craig asked me out, and I said yes. But how is it any of your business? I could do a lot worse than him. You heard Avery, you know what people at school think of me. Craig has never said anything like that. I know, it’s a low bar. Just drop it, alright? My holiday is going okay, caught Nicole reading the letter you sent though so I need to think up some proportional revenge. She’s turning out to be a right little shit, Hogwarts isn’t going to know what hit it next year and no one ever suspects the cute ones. Jezza says not to call him Jezza. (Even Nicole has started doing it now)._

_Marlene_

_P.S. How is me going out with Craig any different than you snogging Rachel Lee? She’s also in seventh year!_

Sirius’s heart sank as he read her letter. She was with Craig because she didn’t think anyone better would want her…He hated that she couldn’t see herself the way she was — the way he saw her. He also hated that she knew about Rachel…he’d been trying to avoid that. He’d been trying to keep the time he spent in company of his ‘string of girlfriends’ hidden from her. It made him feel ashamed…it shouldn’t do, he was doing nothing wrong, and Marlene was with someone else anyway. Admittedly that someone else was a piece of shit who wasn’t worthy to even breath the same air as her…and he wasn’t even that good looking…well, maybe he was, but Sirius knew he was definitely more attractive. 

Maybe Marlene’d had a point calling him arrogant. 

He responded as much the following morning…originally he’d planned to write back straight away, but he thought it would come off a little pathetic. 

_Dear Marlene,_

_First off, fair call on the arrogance thing, don’t really have a defence for that. Secondly, not everyone talks shit about you, so raise the fucking bar a bit. Thirdly, it’s different because I didn’t know that you knew about me and Rachel._

_Merry Christmas Eve,  
Sirius_

He’d kept it short, it was safer that way. He'd considered mentioning that her father had been down here, that she _should_ grass Snivellus up for what he did, but he was sure that she probably knew all of that. Sirius also spent far more time than he would ever admit out loud — especially not to his friends — trying do decide whether or not to sign off ‘Love, Sirius’. There was a little too much truth in it.


	110. 25th December 1975

It was still pitch black when Sirius woke on Christmas morning. He reached for his wand, stuck his head out of his fourposter’s hangings and whispered “ _lumos_.” The clock on the wall told him it was only three o’clock. Sirius pulled on his dressing gown, picked up the photo he’d left on his bedside table and crept back down to the common room. 

“ _Incendio_.” He muttered, directing his wand at the fireplace, and sat down in his favourite armchair. He looked at the photograph of Marlene, she’d been sat in this very spot, not much earlier than it was now. The night that he’d realised he was completely in love with her. Sirius turned it over, dipped his quill in his ink bottle, and began to write.

_Dear Marlene,_

_James developed the photographs we’ve taken since the start of term and I asked him to do an extra one of these for you. I don’t care about those bullshit rumours because I see you how you really are. You are vibrant and witty. So kind and brave, and so brilliantly intelligent. You’re the best in the year at Defence Against the Dark Arts, if not one of the best in the school, (you like to show off in that class a little bit too much, but as you’ve pointed out, I have no right to call anyone else full of it). You’re way too scared of getting told off by Professor McGonagall and you like apple crumble the most when it’s made with extra cinnamon. You turn into an excited child when it starts snowing and you hate to lose, especially at Quidditch. You love your friends deeply and you believe in honour, and decency, and loyalty.Craig thinks you’re hot and honestly, you should be insulted. You’re breathtaking._

_Merry Christmas,  
Sirius_

It was the most stupidly soft thing that he had ever written in his life. If James ever saw it, he’d never let Sirius hear the end of it…in fact, if anyone but Marlene ever read it, he’d just go right ahead and throw himself off of the astronomy tower. Sirius meant every word though, and Marlene deserved to know how incredible she was. He put the photo in an envelop, and before he could bottle it, he returned to the dormitory to nick James’s invisibility cloak and exchange his slippers for boots, and headed off to the Owlery.

The regret came as he watched the school owl disappear into the night sky. What was he thinking! How could he have written all that to her, she was going to think he was so pathetic. And she was _with_ Craig. Sirius didn’t give a shit about him, he could take him, but Marlene might not be all too happy about it. It was a love letter, there was no escaping that now…so he might not have said the words, but Marlene wasn’t an idiot. She’d know.

“ _Fuck_.” He muttered, kicking the skull of a dead mouse. It shattered against the Owlery wall and a few of the birds ruffled their feathers indignantly. Well, at best she’d laugh at him, at worst she would just cut him out…well actually, at best she would end it with Craig and proclaim how much she loved him for everyone to hear, but Sirius didn’t dare let himself hope for that outcome.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See also, [this chapter](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22548727/chapters/54644134)


	111. 25th December 1975 .II

“Mum.” Remus said, knocking on the bedroom door before pushing it open. She opened her eyes when he did, so he knew that she hadn’t really been asleep. “Are you coming down for dinner?”

“Not right now, sweetheart. Save me a plate and I’ll have something later.” Hope said, closing her eyes again. Remus frowned, it wouldn’t be the same without her, it was Christmas Day. 

“Please Mum. I cooked, couldn’t leave it up to Dad.” Remus said. Hope sighed and stood up, holding onto the bedside table, her arm shaking. 

“Alight, darling. Give me a hand.” She said. Remus rushed forward and wrapped his arm around her waist. She leant against him as he helped her downstairs. It didn’t feel right that she was so frail, she was only thirty-six. She’d been so full of energy and life that summer. Their Christmas decorations were so lacklustre, Remus could tell that his dad had done his best, but it was his mum that always made the house sparkle, especially at Christmas…and all of her sparkle seemed to have died with the man that she’d killed.

The conversation at the dinner table was forced, Remus wondered how often the house was completely silent while he was at school. He watched Hope push the food around her plate, cutting it up, but never actually bringing her fork to her mouth. He tried not to feel hurt, she wasn’t well. After a while of this Lyall slammed his cutlery down in frustration.

“For God’s sake, Hope! Who do you think you’re kidding?” He snapped, and Hope flinched. “Remus went to so much effort.”

“Dad, just leave it.” Remus muttered. “It’s fine, I don’t mind.”

“No, it’s not. I can’t take this anymore.” Lyall said, getting to his feet and drawing his wand. Remus jumped up and hurried around the table, placing himself in front of his mother. He pulled out his own wand and pointed it at his father’s face. 

“Don’t you dare.” He growled, sure he looked every bit as menacing as the wolf. His heart was pounding against his ribs. He wasn’t going to let anyone pull a wand on his mum, not even his dad. “She said she doesn’t want that. You can’t just modify her memory—”

“Remus, move.” Lyall hissed, and for a wild moment Remus thought he was just going to blast him out of the way. 

“She said no.” Remus said through gritted teeth. “You can’t just _do that_ to someone.” Lyall looked furious, but he put his wand away…it didn’t seem that he had the heart to curse his own son. Remus didn’t lower his own wand until his father had sat back down. As he returned to his seat, Hope gave his hand a grateful squeeze. How was he supposed to go back to school now? She needed him, needed someone to back her up. 

“Thank you.” Hope murmured softly as Remus helped her back into bed a couple of hours later. Remus didn’t respond. He still wasn’t sure he was doing the right thing.

“You’ve got to start _trying_ , Mum. You’ve got to start looking after yourself again.” Remus pleaded. “You’re scaring him. You’re scaring _me_.” 

“I know.” She whispered, her face crumpling under the guilt.

“If he could just see that you were _trying_ …he doesn’t _want_ to do that to you, I know he doesn’t.” Remus wiped his eyes on his sleeve and left the room without looking back. 

He didn’t return downstairs to his dad. Instead he threw himself down on his bed; their lives would have been so much easier if the werewolf had just killed him all those years ago.


	112. 4th January 1976

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for abuse.

Marlene flicked through her copy of _Advanced Defence Against the Dark Arts_ , pausing smugly on the pages covering the Patronus Charm. She supposed she must be advanced. She dipped her quill in her bottle of ink and in the margins began to jot down the memories she’d had the most success with. Craig dropped down onto the sofa beside her and snatched the book away.

“Hey, I was reading that.” Marlene muttered.

“Can’t have you getting smarter than me.” Craig laughed, tucking her hair behind her ear.

“I’m already smarter than you.” Marlene pointed out — it was true — and Craig stopped laughing immediately. He tilted her chin towards him and kissed her. The common room was busy, so when his hand started creeping up her thigh she stiffened uncomfortably. “Craig stop it, people are staring.” She muttered, trying to shove his hand away.

“Well, let’s find somewhere more private.” Craig coaxed. As his lips brushed against her neck she slid further away from him on the sofa.

“I’m not in the mood.” He’d pissed her off on the train and she wasn’t feeling quite forgiving enough just yet to disappear with him to a secluded part of the castle. 

“It’s about him, isn’t it?” Craig hissed, standing up so abruptly that her book slid to the floor with a thud. Marlene watched him jab his thumb in Sirius’s direction. Her cheeks flushed slightly pink. 

“Of course not.” Marlene said, though it came out a little too quickly to really be believable. She wondered if she would have minded if it was Sirius she was snogging in the common room; if it was Sirius’s hand that had been creeping up her thigh. 

“You’re such a fucking liar, Marlene.” Craig spat. He seemed to be struggling to keep his voice down now, and more people were turning to watch them. 

“Craig, don’t be like this, I like _you_ , I’m with _you_.”

“Prove it.” Craig said, holding out his hand. Marlene caught Sirius’s eye for a moment. She couldn’t tell if he looked angry or just sad. Sad was worse, it made her heart ache. She quickly averted her gaze and took Craig’s hand before following him out of the portrait hole. Craig led her to a classroom, and when he held the door open for her, she realised that it was the same one she’d visited with Sirius on the last day of term. Craig locked the door behind them and rounded on her. “What’s going on between you and Sirius Black?”

“Nothing.” Marlene said shortly. Sometimes she thought that he might fancy her — he certainly had moments were he looked at her like he did he — and the suspicion that he fancied her was even stronger after what he’d written to her on Christmas Day. But he had no shortage of girls throwing themselves at him, she wondered how many of them had woken up to similar letters on Christmas morning. 

“You must think I’m an idiot.” He laughed bitterly. Rain lashed loudly against the classroom window.

“Right now, yeah, I think you are.” Marlene muttered. She raised her eyebrows as his hand curled into a fist at his side, silently daring him to even try it. 

“I _saw_ you.” He hissed, advancing on her, a vein in his forehead pulsing angrily. Marlene stepped back, drawing her wand. 

“Saw me what?” Marlene asked, truly baffled now, but she’d never seen him look so furious. 

“I saw you come in here with him, you were in here a while as well.” He snarled. “You’re such a fucking slut.”

Marlene laughed. She’d have been angry if the whole thing wasn’t so ridiculous. “You think that’s what we were doing? You’re being so stupid. I was teaching him to produce a Patronus.” 

“Yeah, alright.” Craig sneered. “Go on then, show me this Patronus.” 

“ _Expecto patronum_.” Marlene said, too irritated by the mockery on his face to concentrate properly. A wisp of silver light shot from her wand. Craig laughed and gave her a very sarcastic round of applause.

“I’m sure you made an _excellent_ teacher. _Expelliarmus_.” He said, her wand flew from his hand an he caught it. “You looked like you were about to jinx me. I think it’s best I keep hold of this for now.” 

“What is _wrong_ with you tonight?” She demanded. 

“You _cheated_ on me!” He shouted, then, seeming to remember they were in a classroom, lowered his voice. “What’s wrong with you?” 

“I didn’t cheat on you.” Marlene snapped. She bit her tongue just in time to prevent herself from saying that she wished she had. He probably _would_ have hit her if she’d said it. 

“Well what am I supposed to think? You’ve been ice cold to me all day and I see the way the two of you look at each other. You want to break up with me, then just break up with me.” 

“I don’t want to break up with you.” She said, well, right now she did, but she was sure that it was just because they were arguing. She’d probably regret it in the morning if she did. She was too tired to do this now, fighting with him was so draining. 

“Prove it.” Craig said for the second time that night. Marlene sighed and tilted her head up to give him a quick kiss. Craig grabbed her hair and forced her mouth open with his. Marlene kissed him back, it would be put an end to the fight at least. He spun her around and bent her over the desk they’d been standing beside, hiking up her skirt.

“Craig, what are you doing!” The door was locked but that wouldn’t stop a teacher, and certainly wouldn’t stop a ghost. “Don’t. Someone will hear us, we’re going to get caught.” She hissed.

“Well then you’d better keep quiet.” He said. Marlene gripped the desk and bit down on her wrist. If last time was anything to go by it would _definitely_ be over quicker than a fight.


	113. 4th January 1976 .II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for references to abuse.

Lily moved across the floor of the dance studio — coupé; step; jeté; pas de chat; entrechat quatre; soubresaut; pirouette; pirouette; assemblé; saut de chat — repeating the movements over and over until they were perfect. She couldn’t believe that she’d found this place, she’d needed somewhere bigger than the dormitory, and she’d been walking along the seventh floor corridor when she spotted a door she’d never noticed before. She’d mentioned it to Marlene when she’d found it last term but Marley’d had no idea what she was talking about. Lily wondered if the door only showed itself to dancers…it was, after all, opposite the tapestry of Barnabas the Barmy trying to teach trolls to dance the ballet. The castle had done stranger things. 

She grabbed one of the towels and wiped the sweat off her face. Crossing over to the table in the corner, she looked at the tiny glass ballerina James had given her for Christmas. It was the most beautiful thing anyone had ever gifted to her — so much so that she’d been stunned to see that the accompanying note addressed simply to ‘Evans’ (stating that this was her Christmas and birthday present) had been signed ‘Potter’ If you held the ballerina in your hand for a moment and set it back down it started to dance. The longer you held it, the longer it danced. She sat down on the floor and undid her pointe shoes, putting them away. Lily picked up the ballerina and carefully placed it back in its box, put the box back in her bag, and made her way back to Gryffindor tower. She not given James anything, not even a Christmas card…she hadn’t even said thank you. 

Lily entered the common room and spotted him in his usual chair, bent close to Remus — who looked worse than Lily had ever seen him — deep in conversation. James looked up when he spotted her and his eyes followed her as she crossed the room to one of the quiet little study alcoves. She inclined her head slightly, motioning him over, and in his haste to join her he tripped over his schoolbag. Lily bit her lip to stifle her laughter. Moments like that made him _so easy_ to like, as much as she tried not to. 

“Good Christmas, Evans?” He asked, messing up his hair and trying to regain some composure. She suddenly appreciated now, as her body brushed against his slightly, how small these alcoves actually were. What baffled her more was that she didn’t _mind_. James seemed to have gotten taller over Christmas…or maybe it was just the first time she was looking at him properly in a while. 

“It was great. I just wanted to say thank you. The ballerina is beautiful.” She said quietly, and James’s whole face lit up…had he gotten more attractive over Christmas as well?

“Don’t get used to it.” He grinned. “I’m not sure I’m ever going to be able to top that one.” 

Lily smiled, looking away from him. “I should take a bath, I must stink.” She said, pulling at the thin fabric of the skintight top she preferred for dancing…uncomfortably aware of how good James smelled.

“You do a bit.” James agreed with a laugh. “But I really don’t mind.” Lily touched the hem of his t-shirt and as she did the backs of her fingers brushed against his stomach; she looked up and saw his eyes darken in a way that made her knees feel slightly weak. She was possessed with the sudden, mad desire to invite him to join her in the Prefects’ bathroom. _Stop it, Lily_ , she thought quickly, and reluctantly extracted herself from the alcove. What was she _doing_ imagining herself getting naked with James Potter? Even if he did look deliciously handsome lately, he was still an arrogant toerag. As she made her way to the girls’ stairs she could feel his eyes on her. 

Lily was gathering her things to take down to the bathroom when the dormitory door opened and closed, she turned. “Marley?” Marlene looked at Lily as though she wasn’t really seeing her. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” Marlene said, though her voice sounded far higher and more distant than it ever had before. She sat down on Lily’s bed and touched the ballerina she’d moved to the bedside table. Lily seized her arm and brought it eye level. There were deep teeth marks on either side of her thin wrist, she was surprised they hadn’t broken the skin.

“Has somebody _bitten_ you?” She asked, outraged. 

“I did.” Marlene explained, still sounding very far away. “I had sex with Craig again…we were arguing and it just seemed easier to let him— 

“You should have just hexed him again.” Lily said.

“He took my wand— _No_ , it wasn’t like _that_.” Marlene said, her eyes full of tears, for Lily had snatched her wand up off the bed. Marlene had painted a rather disturbing picture in her mind and it made her feel sick.

“Looks like _that_ to me.” Lily hissed. She stormed out of their dormitory and from the stairs she could hear Sirius and Craig shouting at each other.

“—don’t think what me and _my girlfriend_ did is any of your business! And I’d appreciate it if you would stop sending her love letters!”

“She showed this to you?”

Lily threw open the door and pointed her wand at Craig. With a loud bang he was thrown against the opposite wall, and slid down it, unmoving. Lily continued to advance, her wand arm shaking with fury. Out of the corner of her eye she watched James vault over his chair. He wrapped his arm around her waist and pushed her wand away. 

“ _Get off me, Potter_.” She seethed, trying to struggle free from his grip.

“Now, now Evans.” He said, sounding amused, as he lifted her off the ground slightly. “I think he’s out cold, it’s hardly a fair fight anymore.”

For a moment Lily considered telling him what she knew — what she suspected — but if she did, there was no doubt in her mind that James would spend the rest of his life in Azkaban.


	114. 5th January 1976

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for references to abuse.

“Go on without me.” Sirius said to his friends as he dawdled in the Entrance Hall. He wanted to talk to Marlene; he’d been watching her all through breakfast hoping that Craig would leave the table first but he hadn’t. He glanced at his watch, they only had ten minutes before Defence Against the Dark Arts, she had to be coming out soon, he didn’t think she’d ever been late to that lesson in her life. “Marlene!” He called, pushing off of the wall as she left the Great Hall with Lily. “Can I have a word?”

“I’ll catch up with you.” Marlene said to Lily. She looked off, tired maybe…but there was a shadow behind her eyes that was quite different from their usual sparkle. Sirius pulled the photograph out of his schoolbag.

“Why did you show him this? So you could have a good laugh?” He asked, unable to keep the sting of betrayal out of his voice. She dropped her bag.

“I didn’t, it was in my bag, he must’ve…does it look like I’ve been doing much laughing in the last twelve hours?” She said. He had expected her to sound angry but this hollowness was far worse. She began to walk away; he darted forward and grabbed her elbow.

“Marley, are you okay?” She opened her mouth, hesitated and closed it again before nodding. Sirius didn’t let go however. Why had he sent Remus away, he was so much better at this sort of thing. He always seemed to know what to say to people, how to be of comfort. “Has Craig been pressuring you to…has he forced—”

“He hasn’t _forced me_ to do anything.” Marlene snapped defiantly, drawing herself up.

“Marls, talk to me, please.” He begged quietly.

“He was pestering me, and we got into a fight about you. He saw us coming out of that classroom on the last night of term and he’s convinced himself that something happened. I tried telling him that you wanted to learn how to cast a Patronus, but he didn’t believe I could perform the spell well enough to teach anyone, and I was too pissed off and distracted to prove him wrong…He wore me down, I was too exhausted to keep arguing with him.” She shrugged. “Was over quicker than a fight too.” She added wryly.

“Marley.” He whispered, sliding his hand down her arm to take her’s, but she pulled it away.

“He’s not a bad guy. He can be very sweet.” She said, and Sirius snorted. “He’s just jealous of you. Of what ever this sort of friendship is between us.”

Sirius handed her back the photograph and placed a kiss to her temple; trying to pour as much comfort, and kindness, and support into the gesture as possible. “Come on, we’re late.” He said, picking up her schoolbag for her. 

“Thanks.” Marlene mumbled, taking her bag from him and lifting it onto her shoulder. Sirius frowned at the thin bruises on either side of her wrist, the were teeth marks.

“Did he bite you?” Sirius asked, his voice strained in disgust, failing to sound casual. 

“No. I did that.” Marlene said quietly as they climbed the stairs. Sirius said nothing, he didn’t know what to say. He wanted to ask why, but he wasn’t sure he really wanted to hear the answer; he was reminded of Remus…how he would bite and scratch himself at the full moon. Obviously Marlene wasn’t a werewolf…but she’d _hurt herself_.

Craig caught up with them as they walked along the corridor to their Defence Against the Dark Arts classroom; he called her name and she jumped away from Sirius as quickly as if she’d been burnt. They turned to face Craig, he was holding a bouquet of brightly coloured flowers, and Sirius found himself unable to unclench his jaw. 

“I didn’t apologise at breakfast.” Craig said, holding out the bouquet for her. Marlene took them, and Sirius was sure that he saw a flash of fear in her eyes, but if he had, it was gone in an instant and she was smiling at Craig. “That was wrong, I should have apologised, I’m sorry. And I’m sorry about last night. It won’t ever happen again.” 

“They’re beautiful.” Marlene said, touching one of the petals. “Thank you.”

“I’ll see you later.” Craig said, kissing her cheek. “Sirius.” He added, his voice cold, and nodded his head at him. They watched Craig carry on down the corridor and up a flight of stairs. Sirius didn’t think he’d ever hated someone so much in his life…and given some of the people he was related to he thought that was quite the achievement on Craig’s part. He held the classroom door open for Marlene, trying his best to squash down the nausea that was starting to build.


	115. 10th January 1976

“Go away, Bertha.” James muttered as Bertha sat down between him and Sirius in the library. Whatever she wanted he was sure that it couldn’t be good. 

“Such a frosty reception.” She said, her voice pleasant. “Just thought you’d be interested to know that Bertram Aubrey is showing off a photograph of Marlene.” 

Sirius knocked over his ink bottle. “Shit. _Evanesco_.” He hissed. “Go away, Bertha.” He snapped. James looked between the two of them and frowned. 

“She’s a pretty girl, Bertha.” James said, monotonously, though he cursed himself for even engaging with her. The best way to deal with Bertha Jorkins seemed to be to ignore her, anything else risked giving her more gossip.

“She’s naked.” Bertha smiled, she seemed to be thoroughly enjoying herself. 

“What?” James asked, looking up from his History of Magic essay.

“In the photo, Marlene McKinnon is naked.” Bertha grinned. James jumped to his feet, blood roaring in his ears. This was getting fucking ridiculous now. People needed to leave her alone. 

“Where is he?” James demanded. 

“He was just walking along the second floor corridor—” James didn’t wait for her to say anymore. He stuffed his essay back in his bag and hurried from the library. As he stormed up the staircase to the second floor he could hear Sirius behind him.

“Don’t overreact…” He trailed off, though it didn’t sound like his heart was really in it. James turned on to corridor and spotted Aubrey, thankfully the opposite end from Dumbledore’s office.

“Aubrey!” He shouted. Bertram Aubrey turned and grinned at them, James forced his face to mirror the expression. “Let’s see it.” It seemed to take Aubrey a moment to realise what he was talking about and then he pulled a photograph from the pocket of his robes. James stared at Marlene, her cheeks were slightly pink with embarrassment, but she was looking directly at the camera as she occasionally covered her face with a hand and peered through her fingers. She was lay on a bed that James didn’t recognise, showing him more of her than he’d seen in a long time.

“Hot, right? What’d I’d give to shag that.” He said wistfully.

“Marlene.” James said, his voice so icy that he was sure he’d lowered the temperature in the corridor considerably. His brain was tripping over the situation, and this felt like such a minor thing to call Aubrey out on, considering, but it was the most coherent thought he could voice for now.

“What?” Aubrey laughed, trying to take back the photo, but James held on to it tight.

“Her name is Marlene. Not _That._ ” He snarled. 

“What does it matter, you in love with her or something?” Aubrey smirked. “Listen, I need that back, it’s the last one — your mate there saw to that — but I’m going to make copies…you can have one, for a price.”

James was no longer listening to him, he’d turned to look at Sirius. What did Aubrey mean… “Did you know about all these?”

“Yes, that mate of Craig’s, Calvin, was selling them last term. I threatened him, told him to get them all back and destroy them…I guess he missed one.” Sirius explained, blocking Aubrey’s way as he tried to slip past them.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” James frowned, he’d have made Calvin pay…he’d have made Craig sorry he’d ever taken the fucking things in the first place.

“James.” Sirius said gently. “You’ve had a bit of a short temper this year…I’m not _blaming_ you for that.” He added quickly. “It’s understandable. But I made the executive decision, as your best friend, not to bother you with this.” 

“Executive decision—”

“Look, can I get the photo back?” Aubrey asked, and James ground his teeth. “You know what, forget copying this one, I’ll borrow a camera and take some new ones, and you can have as many as you like. McKinnon is so easy she’ll do anyth—”

James didn’t give him a chance to finish before pulling his wand on Aubrey. “ _Engorgio Skullus!_ ” He bellowed. Aubrey’s head began to expand and he doubled over, screaming in agony. James looked down at him in disgust as Professor Johnson pulled open his door and hurried over. 

“Potter, Black. Wait for me in my office!” He shouted, gripping Aubrey’s shoulders and striding with him down the corridor.

“We’ll wait here, Professor!” Sirius called back quickly.

“My office!” 

James stared at the office door. He’d been very careful to keep out of trouble in Defence Against the Dark Arts this year. He’d kept his head down, no matter what anyone did or said to him in those lessons, he put his head down and got on with his work. He’d wanted to avoid this moment. James pushed open the door with a shaking hand and walked slowly over to the desk, Sirius close behind him.

“Prongs?” He asked softly. James didn’t answer, his eyes fixed on _that_ spot. The floor just beside the desk; he felt like he was right back there…desperately trying to keep Babworth alive. The feel of his ribs breaking under his hands, the look on his face in the exact moment that he died. James didn’t hear Johnson come back in the room, his breath was coming out in short gasps, his heart racing. He was sure Johnson was lecturing but he sounded so far away. 

“Which of you did it?” James eventually heard him ask.

“It was me, Professor.” Sirius said quickly, but James forced himself to shake his head. Sirius hadn’t done anything wrong.

“You will both receive detention and I am taking fifty points each from Gryffindor house. Professor McGonagall will be notified. You are dismissed.” Johnson said. James could feel Sirius’s hand around his wrist as he pulled him from the classroom and along the corridor. James doubled over and let out a sob.

“Prongs?” Sirius asked again. He gripped his shoulders and helped him straighten up, cupping his face to force James to look at him. It took James a while to actually see him, Sirius’s eyes were so full of concern.

“I’m alright.” James said, though he didn’t think his friend believed this lie. He realised he was still clutching the photograph and quickly screwed it up.


	116. 11th January 1976

Blood seeped from the wound in the intruders neck. He had the bloody scissors in one hand and his wand in the other as he approached Remus. Remus felt his back hit his parents’ bedroom door, and he braced his arm against the frame. This man would not hurt his mother. The door opened behind him and he backed into the room.

“I’m sorry, Mum.” He cried, looking round at her. 

“Who are you?” Hope asked him, her voice small, terrified, so unlike the woman who had raised him. 

“Mummy, it’s me.” He whispered, as the man pushed him aside. “It’s Remus.” The man stabbed the scissors into Hope’s chest, and when he looked up it was his father. Remus screamed.

“Moony!” He could feel someone shaking his shoulders, he opened his eyes and James was stood over him, his face very white. 

“Prongs?” Remus asked, pushing himself up and stamping down the strong impulse to vomit all over him.

“You were screaming for you mum.” Sirius said, sitting down by his feet. “I can’t say it’s something I can relate to myself, but I can speak to McGonagall, see if we can get her here.”

“She’s not well.” Remus mumbled, reaching for the glass of water on the bedside table with a shaking hand.

“We’ve heard that one before.” Peter squeaked, and Remus almost smiled. He suppose he had lied about that an awful lot…he wished he was lying now. 

“I don’t think she’s going to be okay, and there’s nothing I can do about it.” Remus said, unable to look at any of them.

“I’m really sorry.” James said quietly. “What were you dreaming about— You don’t have to talk about it.” He added quickly.

Remus leant back against the pillows and looked at his friends. They had been so unfailingly supportive of him, what had he ever done to deserve them. “It was nonsense. My dad killed her. Which is how I know it’s nonsense…he loves her so much, he’d never do that.” 

As he said it, he knew, in his heart that it was true. The memory thing wasn’t the same…it had just been a stupid, stupid nightmare. He ran a hand over his face and tried to shake it off. The door opened and Lily walked in.

“I— Remus, are you alright?” She frowned. He supposed that he must look awful, though that was nothing new. 

“I’m fine.” Remus said, forcing a smile. 

“You seem to be finding and awful lot of excuses to visit our dormitory, Evans.” Sirius grinned, winking at Remus. 

“Oh shut up, Black.” She muttered, though Remus was sure that he saw the corners of her mouth twitch slightly. “I’ve been in here once, two years ago. McGonagall wants a word with you and Potter…something about Bertram Aubrey’s head and a hundred points from Gryffindor? Have you been jinxing people again?”

“Ark at ee!” James scoffed. “Craig’s mates had to scrape him up off the floor after you’d finished with him!”

Lily definitely smiled this time. “She wants to see you _now_.” 

“But it’s Sunday morning.” Sirius groaned, though he got up and rummaged around in his truck for some clothes all the same. “Are you going to stand there and watch us change, Evans? I don’t think James would mind.” He smirked. Lily blushed, closing the door behind her a little too quickly; James grabbed Remus’s pillow and threw it at Sirius. 

Remus took his time getting dressed, he still felt a little shaken. His mum would be _fine_. She had to be, he loved her too much for her to not be fine. He and Peter joined the girls in the common room.

“No Marlene?” He asked Mary.

“She’s gone to breakfast with Craig.” Mary said, and Remus rolled his eyes; she could do so much better. 

“Are we going down?” Peter asked.

“You can go ahead, I’m just waiting for Dorcas.” Mary said, watching Dorcas as she chatted to Ana Scott on the other side of the common room. There was a fondness to Mary’s expression that Remus had never noticed there before. Mary caught him watching her and quickly turned to the portrait hole, her cheeks very red. “You know what, don’t worry. She can catch us up.” 

Remus smiled, did Mary _like_ Dorcas? He could hardly blame her if she did, Dorcas was incredible. 

James and Sirius stood in front of McGonagall’s desk, she looked furious. Sirius mouthed ‘Explain yourselves’ at the same time she said it and her eyes flashed dangerously. He’d been through this enough to have the routine down. 

“Another ten points from Gryffindor.” She snapped, before looking between them expectantly. 

“It was me, Professor.” James said quickly. “Sirius didn’t do anything wrong, he was just there.” 

“He’s lying, Professor.” Sirius said. “It was all me, James didn’t do anything.” 

“Madam Pomfrey is having a hard time returning Aubrey’s head to normal size. He might have to be transferred to St Mungo’s. What on earth were you playing at?” McGonagall demanded.

“He insulted Marlene.” James snarled. 

“You were stood outside of Professor Johnson’s office! You should have had him sort it out!” McGonagall shouted. “You will both do an additional two weeks of detentions with me…as well as the one you will be doing with Professor Johnson!” 

James opened his mouth to protest but closed it quickly at the look on her face, and shrugged. 

“Professor, don’t let Johnson make James do the detention in his office.” Sirius said quickly, it would be cruel to make him sit in the room were Babworth had died. He’d barely held it together yesterday; he’d been so pale that Sirius had thought he was going to pass out. 

“It’s fine, Sirius. I’m fine.” James muttered, rubbing the back of his neck, and suddenly seeming very interested in his trainers. 

“It’s _not_ fine.” Sirius snapped. McGonagall seemed to study James carefully for a moment.

“You won’t have to do your detention for Professor Johnson in his office.” She said, her voice far kinder than either of them had been expecting.


	117. 14th January 1976

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for abuse.

James had been far quicker than Marlene had in the showers, and he was already back in his usual arm chair when she’d returned to the common room. Her hair was still damp and she was grateful of the warmth by the fire when she joined her friends. She could hardly let herself relax, however, as much as she was tired and aching. Her homework situation was becoming out of control, but she’s been finding it hard to concentrate since she returned to school after Christmas. Infuriatingly, James didn’t even look like he was doing his…he had Quidditch practice, and he was taking an extra subject, yet he seemed to be doodling on a scrap of parchment. Occasionally Sirius would lean over and tell him to adjust something — since when was he the art critic? 

“Where the fuck is my Arithmancy book?” She muttered, emptying out her school bag over the floor, she’d had it earlier, and she now neither had the time or the energy to go hunting for it. 

“Here.” Dorcas said, moving some of the parchment littering the table and handing it over. 

“Thanks.” Marlene, said, stifling a yawn. “Who’s stupid idea was it for me to take Arithmancy?” It was her stupid idea, of course, but she wanted someone else to blame. 

“Want to copy my homework?” Sirius grinned, waving his completed work at her. That wasn’t fair, he’d had the time to finish it, he hadn’t had Quidditch practice all evening.

“I don’t _copy_ homework.” Marlene snapped, though it was so, so tempting. As she opened her book Craig took it from her and sat behind her on the armchair. The grin disappeared from Sirius’s face in an instant. Craig ran his hands over her shoulders and she sighed, until his thumb found one of the marks on her back and he pressed down. “Ouch!” She yelped. They generally didn’t hurt too much anymore, but he’d pushed on it and it had ached painfully. 

“Sorry.” He said quickly, kissing her shoulder and her cheek. “Sorry, I completely forgot.” 

“It’s alright.” She said, reaching back to run a hand through his hair. James was staring at them too now, a frown creasing his brow. _Great_. Just what she needed. It had been an accident, the last thing she wanted was James flying off the handle over it. “Can I have my book back?”

“You can do this later. I’ve not seen you all day.” Craig whined.

“I can’t do it later, stop being such a child.” She muttered, snatching it back. She would like nothing more to go off and spend the rest of the evening with him, but if she didn’t get this done by tomorrow she’d be in dentition — and then she’d be even further behind. Craig didn’t say anything, instead he dug his thumb in again, harder than the last time. Deliberate. The pain was so intense that she had to bite back a cry; the book tumbled from her hands and fell open on the floor. Marlene dived forward, out of his grasp, to pick it up and quickly blinked away the tears in her eyes before anyone else could see. 

“Fine.” Craig snapped, getting up again. He shoved her slightly as he moved, she told herself that he hadn’t meant to, he was just trying to get up out of the chair. Marlene watched him cross the common room and return to his group of friends. All she seemed to be doing lately was pissing him off. She chewed on her bottom lip for a moment, but trying to make a fast decision with blood pounding in her ears was proving difficult. Finally, she picked up Sirius’s Arithmancy homework; she didn’t have it in her to concentrate right now. Bending her head low over the parchment, she started to copy out the answers. Marlene could feel them watching her, but she didn’t trust herself to look up. She didn’t want to see their anger, or worse their pity. She didn’t want them to see the tears pricking the corners of her eyes.


	118. 17th January 1976

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for abuse.

It was bitter cold on the Quidditch pitch. Snow was threatening to fall again, and while Marlene usually loved nothing better, right now she was desperately pleading for it not to. 

“Ana! This is ridiculous! We’ve been out here hours!” Marlene called out, her teeth chattering against the icy wind. Even most of the initial spectators had retreated to the warmth of the castle’s many fires. Though Craig had come out to watch, he couldn’t have been there long, but it made Marlene feel unsettled. He had no real interest in Quidditch.

“Alright! _Fine!_ ” Ana conceded. As they headed towards the ground, Eric crashed into her and Marlene toppled from her broom to the frosty grass below. Winded, she watched the team land beside her; at least she’d only been a few feet off of the ground. 

“I’m sorry!” Eric gasped, holding out his hand to help her to her feet. “I just wanted to get inside.”

“Yeah, well, watch where you’re flying next time.” She muttered, letting him pull her up. She dusted herself off and took her broom back from James. 

“I’m not even bothering with the changing rooms. I’m going straight in.” James shivered. Marlene thought he had the right idea, she’d change after she’d warmed up with a hot chocolate in front of the fire. 

“Marlene!” Craig called, hurrying over. “Are you alright!” James rolled his eyes and she gave him a warning kick to the shin. 

“I’m fine.” She sighed, letting him check her over for injuries. She was okay, but it might shut him up if he could see that for himself. 

“Look, I need to talk to you.” Craig said, grabbing hold of her arm. 

“Can it wait? I’m freezing.” Marlene complained, pulling out of his grasp and following the rest of the team towards the castle. Craig hurried after her and as soon as they’d stepped through the door he grabbed her again. She supposed she should have specified the common room. “I’ll catch you up.” She told the rest of the team before turning back to Craig. “Fine, what?” She snapped. The cold had put her in a bad mood. Craig put a hand on her neck and rubbed his thumb gently over her jaw.

“I think you should give up Quidditch.” He said. Marlene grinned, she’d never heard anything so ridiculous.

“Are you joking? I love Quidditch. I’m great at Quidditch.” 

“I just don’t want you to get hurt.” He said carefully. “I’m worried about you, it’s such a dangerous sport.” 

“You’re being ridiculous.” Marlene laughed.

Craig blinked, his expression impassive, but he moved his fingers down to his new favourite spot on her back, pressing down hard. Marlene whimpered, hating how pathetic it sounded. She tried to pull away but he wouldn’t let her.

“Don’t laugh at me.” He hissed.

“I’m sorry.” She said quickly, and he relaxed his hold. 

“I just love you so much, I don’t want anything bad to happen to you.” He said softly, cupping her cheek. 

“I love you too.” Marlene lied. She didn’t love him, but it wasn’t worth the fight to say anything else. She could make herself love him, eventually…he would get better, he was just stressed, seventh year was bound to be stressful…and he was Muggle-born, life must be terrifying for him right now. Craig’s expression relaxed and his twisted the ends of her ponytail gently around his fingers.

“Well, if you won’t give up Quidditch, do me a favour, Stay away from Potter. I don’t like you spending so much time with him, he’s no good for you.” Craig pleaded. Marlene stared at him, hardly able to believe what she’d just heard. Stay away from her Jamie? Snapping, she shoved him hard, and he stumbled backwards.

“Let me make one thing perfectly clear.” Marlene snarled, her temper spilling over. “James Potter has been a part of my life since I was two months old. He’s my brother. If someone asked me to choose between the two of you, they wouldn’t even have finished asking the question before I chose James.” 

Craig looked away, his expression wounded. But she wasn’t going to apologise. Not for that. She had meant every word. She stalked up the stairs, wanting to put some distance between them before she went and hexed him. McGonagall would lose her shit if she blew apart half the Entrance Hall again.


	119. 20th January 1976

She just _couldn’t_ fancy Dorcas, Mary told herself firmly in Care of Magical Creatures that afternoon. She just admired her, that was all. She was smart and brave…and very pretty. But realising those things didn’t mean that she _fancied_ her…she thought the same thing about Marlene and Lily. And okay, so it was a little bit different, when the other two spoke to her she didn’t get a funny feeling in her tummy…but it didn’t mean that she _fancied_ Dorcas…she was just in awe of her. That was all it was. 

Dorcas’s pretty black curls bounced as she turned her head quickly away from the Thestral to look at Mary. “Come and say hello to her, she’s so friendly.” She coaxed. Mary approached gingerly, wishing she was as comfortable with the Thestrals as Dorcas seemed to be. She could see them though, it must be far stranger for the people in the class that couldn’t. “Her name is Isra. She was the cutest little thing when I met her. I wanted to sneak her back to the dormitory to keep.” Mary reached out to touch the Thestral’s skeletal neck, her cheeks growing warm as her finger brushed against Dorcas’s. 

“She’s very sweet.” Mary agreed. She had to get a grip. She’d heard James teasing her about fancying that Auror, Kingsley Shacklebolt…and while Dorcas was way too young for him, she seemed to like boys. 

She was sure that Remus had noticed something, he’d not said anything, but he kept looking at her in that knowing, quiet way he had about him. Would her friends mind? Would they care if she _did_ like girls. She wanted to believe that they wouldn’t, they always seemed so open, so accepting. 

Mary tried not to let herself hope that Dorcas might be able to see _her_ that way too…after all, Mary absolutely did not fancy Dorcas Meadowes. 

She needed help, advice. She looked at her friends, trying to figure out who would be best to talk to. Remus seemed to have worked it out, he was kind, and wise, but he seemed to have his own problems at the moment. Or James… he’d always come to her defence, always stood up for her, but would this bother him? Maybe she’d be best off talking to the girls. Marlene definitely had her own problems, even if she didn’t want to admit it. But there was Lily, and after all, Lily seemed to accept everyone. 

“You’re quiet today?” Dorcas asked. Mary jumped, startling Isra. The Thestral flapped her wings, rearing up on her hind legs. Dorcas darted forward and steadied the Thestral. “Hey, it’s alright sweetheart.” She soothed. The Thestral was striking against the snow at the forest’s edge, they really were sort of beautiful.


	120. 30th January 1976

“Happy Birthday, Lily.” Severus said, handing over a little black box. Lily took it from him and opened it, unable to keep the frown off of her face. A gold neckless with a pretty green stone. It was beautiful, of course, but she couldn’t accept it. It was too much. 

“Sev, I can’t.” She murmured. “You need to return it, you can’t afford this.” She’d said it without really thinking, and Severus turned a worrying shade of puce. “Sev, I’m sorry—”

He snatched the box back furiously. “Would you have accepted it if it had come from Potter? Perfect Potter, bet you think all that money he has makes him so wonderful.” He spat.

“I don’t _care_ how much money he has.” Lily snapped. Would she have accepted the necklace from James? She liked to think that she wouldn’t have…the ballerina had been different. It had been thoughtful and beautiful, but it hadn’t been jewellery. This felt different, she was unable to ignore the romantic undercurrent in Severus’s gift; she didn’t want that from him — she didn’t want that _with_ him. 

“What did he get you?” Severus demanded. She resisted the urge to roll her eyes, why did he have to treat everything as a competition with James Potter? 

“For your information, nothing.” Lily said, lifting her chin, it wasn’t exactly a lie, he had sent it to her at Christmas. This seemed to cheer Severus up. Lily quickly pulled him into a hug. “You need to return the neckless. It’s lovely, and so thoughtful of you, but I can’t accept it.” 

Severus held on a little longer than she’d have liked but he eventually let her go. 

“Lily?” She looked round at Remus as he left the library. “Are you ready?” 

“But—”

“Night, Severus.” Lily smiled, cutting him off. She didn’t want to hear him whine about returning to her common room right now. 

Lily followed Remus back up to the seventh floor and was greeted by a roar of noise and shouts of ‘Happy Birthday’ as the Fat Lady’s portrait swung forwards. “Did you do this?” She asked turning to him, but he shook his head. 

“James and Sirius…but I think mostly it was just that your Birthday fell on a Friday and any excuse for a party.” Remus grinned, as the two boys grabbed her arms and pulled her through. 

“Evans!” James shouted, linking his arm with hers and pulling her over to a table along the left wall. “We have food, and cake, and—”

“Most importantly, alcohol.” Sirius finished, pressing a glass into her hand.

“Looks like you’ve already started.” Lily teased. Sirius held up a finger to show her.

“I just had one.” He laughed, clearly trying to compose his face into an innocent expression. Lily handed James the glass and he frowned slightly.

“Are you going somewhere?” He asked. 

“To get changed, I’ll be right back.” She promised, even if it was just an excuse to dance, drink, and make a lot of noise, it was still very nice of them to do all this for her. Lily hurried up her dormitory, changed her robes for a pretty blue wrap dress, and donned a pair of Marlene’s rather high heels. Frankly, Lily didn’t know why Marlene bothered, she was already so tall. Many Muggle women seemed to have given up heels this thin, but Marley — who was admittedly very good at dressing like a Muggle for a witch — refused to part with them. Lily had excellent balance, but as she returned to the common room, even she was wondering how Marlene managed to run around in these. She found her way back to James and he returned her drink to her. 

“You look really nice.” He said, and she rolled her eyes, she had a feeling that he’d tell her that no matter what she wore. “New shoes?” 

“I stole them from Marley.” She laughed, taking a sip of the Firewhisky, before draining the rest of it in one. As she set it down Sirius grabbed hold of her hand and tugged her over to the middle of the room where the furniture had been pushed aside to make room for people to dance. 

“You dance terribly, Black!” She laughed, as he spun her around. Actually, he wasn’t that bad, but the compliment would go to his head. 

“Better than James!” Sirius laughed.

“Who picked this music anyway?” It wasn’t awful, upbeat jazz, but it reminded her of something her parents would listen to. Sirius rolled his eyes.

“Don’t even start, we put Marlene in charge of the music and she has really bad taste in music.” He said, letting Lily spin him around. “I know he can’t dance, but you should dance with James, you’d make his whole year.” 

Lily looked over at him, he was still stood by the table, watching them with a small smile. “Alright, but if I do, you have to dance with Marlene.” She grinned.

“You’re wicked, Evans.” Sirius laughed, letting go of her hands and disappearing through the crowd to find Marlene. Lily beckoned James over; she’d never seen him move so fast.

“Would you like to dance with me, James Potter?” She asked, holding out her and for his.


	121. 31st January 1976

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for abuse and attempted sexual assault.

Marlene had made a considerable effort to fall asleep, but it had evaded her. The common room was empty when she’d returned to it, and she’d settled down with books to continue with her homework. She was going to suffer for it later, but she could sleep when it was done. She jumped at the sound of the boys’ door opening and Craig stumbled into the common room. 

“Marlene!” He grinned, walking into a table as he crossed the room to her. 

“Craig!” She said, though she couldn’t quite mimic the tone that came from too much to drink. “You’re drunk.” 

“Yes I am!” He laughed, picking one of her books up off the table. “Why are you doing your morning at three o’clock in the homework? Homework at three o’clock in the morning…” 

“Go back to bed, Craig.” She sighed. She was too tired for this right now, and she was so very nearly done with her Charms essay. She’d ask James to check it over for her, but she was sure it was pretty good.

“Only if you come with me.” Craig smirked. Marlene glared at him, she was _really_ too tired for this.

“So your friends can watch? I think I’ll pass, thanks.” She muttered. 

“You know.” He said casually. “You could have done your homework instead of dancing with Sirius Black.” 

“Oh give it a rest, it was hardly like we were slow dancing. I was dancing with Dorcas and Mary, he just happened to be there too. What is—” Pain exploded across her face — her eye, her cheek bone, the side of her nose — as the book that he had picked up hit her. The scream came from the shock of it more than anything else, but the tears that sprang to her eyes was from the sting. She needed to get out of here, to go back to bed in case they’d woken anyone. She couldn’t, shouldn’t, be around him when he’d been drinking. As she got up and tried to pass him, he grabbed her arm and slammed her against the wall. The back of her head throbbed, stunning her for a moment, and causing stars to erupt across her vision. That moment was all it took for him to press his forearm against her throat, shove his hand down her pyjama bottoms and push her underwear aside. 

_No. This was not going to happen._

Marlene brought her knee up, hard, and it connected with his groin. Craig collapsed with a howl of agony, his legs giving way beneath him. _Fucking good._

“I don’t care how drunk you are, if you ever touch me like that again,” she hissed, her voice shaking with rage. “I will fucking kill you. Do you understand?” 

Craig nodded. He looked pathetic. Scared even, and Marlene found that for the first time she didn’t feel sorry for him. She heard a door slam above her and, straightening her pyjamas, she hurried for the portrait hole. 

Marlene crept through the corridors, though hardly caring if she got caught, and down to the kitchens. She needed ice for her eye, but mostly she wanted to give Craig time to go back up to bed. She stopped in front of the painting of the fruit bowl and tickled the pear. The pear turned into a door handle and she pulled it open, climbing up into the kitchens. It was quiet, only a few house elves around.

“I need ice.” She said to one of them, and quickly added “please.” There was no need to be rude. Marlene sat crosslegged on the equivalent to the Gryffindor table and watched the elf wrap ice cubes into a tea towel. “Thank you.” She mumbled, resting her elbows on her knees and pressing it to her eye. She wasn’t sure how long she sat there, letting the cold soothe her, and desperately trying not to cry. 

She didn’t look up until James spoke her name.

“How did you know I was here?” She asked him.

“We didn’t, we tried the hospital wing first.” Sirius said, and Marlene found that she couldn’t stand to look at him right now. “We heard screaming and when we went down to the common room Craig was on the floor and Lily said you weren’t in bed.”

“What happened?” James asked, an definite forced calm to his question. Marlene was sure he was about to explode. 

“A book fell on my face.” She said quickly. It wasn’t exactly a _lie._

“And I suppose Platt kicked himself in the—”

“Sirius, give us a minute.” James murmured, cutting him off. Sirius shrugged and left the kitchen, letting the door close behind him. James sat down beside her on the table. “What happened?” He asked again, gentler this time. Marlene looked at him, and the urge to tell him everything was stamped down only by the desire to limit the amount of trouble he was bound to go and get himself into. 

“Me and Craig were arguing, and he threw a book. It hit me in the face.” She said quietly, that sounded better than ‘Craig threw a book at me’, right? There was no way she could tell him the rest. 

“Marls—”

“Just keep out of it, alright? I’m dealing with it.” She sighed, watching a muscle twitch furiously along his jaw. “Look, he was drunk. He probably won’t even remember doing it.” 

“That doesn’t make it okay.” James murmured.

“I _know_ that.” Marlene hissed. And then she broke. The sobs that she had been fighting since she left Gryffindor Tower, burst out of her. James wrapped her in his arm and pulled her onto his lap, holding on to her so tightly that she thought he might be trying to stick her back together. He didn’t say anything else, he didn’t tell her to break up with Craig, or that he’d tried to tell her he was awful. After all, she knew all that. He just held her as she cried into his shoulder, and she was so relieved that he had sent Sirius out of the room. She never wanted people to see her like this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise that there are happier things on the horizon.


	122. 5th February 1976

Marlene had been trying to avoid Craig for nearly a week now. Trying to limit the amount of time she spent with him, finding excuses to leave whenever he collared her. He didn’t remember what he’d done, or if he did, he was pretending that he didn’t. If he was pretending, it was probably even easier for him to do so after Madam Pomfrey had gotten rid of her black eye. Marlene just needed a bit of time, and a real apology would be nice too, ‘I’m sorry for whatever I did’ wasn’t quite cutting it.

She changed into her pyjamas and returned to the common room in a thoroughly good mood, feeling better than she had since last term, in fact. If they played the rest of the season as well they had been in practice lately then the Quidditch cup was a sure thing. She glanced around for Lily but she must’ve still been in the library.

“Marley!” James called, beckoning her over. She crossed to the fireplace and perched on the arm of Sirius’s chair. “Ouch, that bruise looks nasty.” Marlene glanced down at the darkening blotch on her thigh. Dougie had knocked a Bludger out of Eric’s path but it had hit her.

“It just grazed me, could’ve been worse, at least Madam Pomfrey isn’t having to repair my femur.” She shrugged. That would have been a miserable way to finish off her birthday.

“Well, _aside_ from that, not a bad birthday, huh?”

“Yeah, it was pretty good. Could’ve done without the double Potions though…and without you reminding Slughorn it’s my birthday, Pete.” She grinned, it had been a little embarrassing when he’d made the Gryffindors (and attempted to get the Slytherins to) join him in a rousing chorus of ‘Happy Birthday’.

“Well, Sirius had a House Elf whip this up.” James said, placing a little cupcake on the table with a birthday candle sticking out the top of the icing. “Apple and cinnamon filling, with crumble sprinkles. Blow it out, we promise we won’t sing again.”

“Thanks.” She smiled and blew out the candle. She resisted mentioning that Lily had got a whole party when _she’d_ turned sixteen last week, but unfortunately this year her birthday had fallen on a Thursday. “This is really very sweet of you.” And really, she found this far sweeter than a party.

“There you are, Marlene. I’ve been looking for you all day.” Craig said, he leant over Sirius and kissed her. She pulled away awkwardly when Sirius cleared his throat in irritation. “Happy birthday.” He handed her over a present.

“Thanks.” She said, but frowned when she unwrapped it. _The Duty of Women: A guide to motherhood, homemaking and living up to the feminine ideal_ by Marcia Glenn. What the fuck?

“I figured you might find some stuff in there useful, especially when you finish school.” He smiled. Marlene stared at him in disbelief. She saw her whole life with him play out before her eyes and she couldn’t bear it. She had to put an end to this now. For good this time.

“Have you read this book?” She asked him, out of the corner of her eye she could see James and Remus smirk at each other. Sirius put his feet up on the coffee table and looked from Marlene to Craig with the unmistakable air of someone settling himself down to watch a good show — the disgust must have been evident on her face.

“I’ve flicked through it.” He shrugged. “She seems to have some pretty good ideas.”

James opened his mouth to speak but Marlene raised a hand to stop him. “Marcia Glenn is a batty old witch, and she poses a genuine threat to the wizarding community. Just because we’re at war doesn’t mean we should let this shit stand.” She said, waving the book at him. “Two things are going to happen tonight, this book is going on the fire, and then we’re going to break up.”

“Don’t be so dramatic!” Craig snapped and returned to his friends. Using Sirius’s shoulder as leverage she stood up on the arm of his chair…for full dramatic effect. She opened the book at random and began to read in a ringing voice:

“ _Witches must be obedient and submissive to wizards_.” She closed the book and opened it at another page. Craig turned back to watch her. “ _It is imperative that the Ministry of Magic pass legislation prohibiting married witches from seeking employment._ ” She flicked to another page. “ _Witches must actively seek to limit their magical ability to preserve the ego of their husbands._ Is this really what you’re looking for?”

“Isn’t every man? Hey!” Craig shouted as she tossed the heavy volume behind her into the flames, clearly he hadn’t thought that she was being serious.

“Look, the rose on my bedside table this morning was nice, but we’re done now.” Marlene said.

“What rose?” He asked. Comprehension dawning, she looked down at Sirius. He offered her a small smile and a shrug. Craig advanced on him.

Marlene pulled out her wand, stepping across Sirius to stand on the other arm, carful to avoid his hand. “Don’t even think about it.” She said.

Craig let out a cold laugh. “You’re okay hiding behind a girl like a coward?” He asked Sirius. She felt his fingers twitch against her foot at the word ‘coward’.

“Behind this girl? Absolutely. It’s the safest place to be.” He said matter of factly.


	123. 14th February 1976

“Just go and ask her.” Peter sighed, as James stirred his porridge moodily. “Anything to shut you up.” James glared at him. He’d not been talking about Lily _that_ much. All he’d wanted to know was whether his friends thought that she’d agree to go to Hogsmeade with him today. Madam Puddifoot’s was incredibly obnoxious on Valentines Day, but it might be sort of romantic if he was there with Lily. 

“Even if she says no, at least you can go to Hogsmeade.” Sirius muttered bitterly. “I’ll be spending all day in detention with McGonagall.” 

“Your true love.” Remus grinned, and James snorted into his orange juice. Sirius had gone after Craig, and James was just disappointed that he’d beat him to it. Marley had chucked him now though, and that was all that mattered.

“I thought that was Marlene.” Peter smirked. Sirius turned red and dropped his toast. “Aren’t you going on a date with her tonight?”

“Shut up, Wormtail.” Sirius hissed. 

“What date?” James frowned. He’d obviously noticed the way that the two of them looked at each other. And frankly, Sirius was a hell of an improvement over Craig…but he needed to leave her alone for now…just for a while. He was sure there was stuff with Craig that she’d not told him about — the way she’d completely broken down in the kitchens had left him feeling very uneasy. 

“It’s not a date, it’s another Patronus lesson.” Sirius said quickly. “I swear, James.” 

“I fancy learning how to cast a Patronus, how about you Moony?” James asked, if there was really nothing going on, then Sirius wouldn’t care. Somewhere in the back of his mind he registered that Marlene would probably kill him, but he didn’t care. 

“Yeah, it’ll come in very useful.” Remus grinned. 

“Excellent. If you see Marley, let her know. I’m going to find Evans.” He said, trying to ignore the fact that his stomach had started flutter at the thought of actually asking her out. Except, she wasn’t in the library, or the common room. And Dorcas said she wasn’t in their dormitory either. Starting to feel frustrated he returned to the Entrance Hall. 

“Oi! Snivellus!” He called as he spotted him leaving through the front doors with Avery and Mulciber. “Have you seen Evans today?” 

“Why?” Snape asked, turning around to face him, wearing his usual expression of loathing.

“I’m going to ask her out.” James grinned, before he could stop himself. Snape blanched.

“You _can’t!_ ” Snape hissed furiously. 

“Why do you care, Severus?” Mulciber asked. “You won’t have to put up with the stink of her hanging around you all the time. Or do you want to go out with her too?” To James’s disgust, Snape laughed along with them.

“I don’t want to go out with a filthy Mudblood.” Snape said. As they turned away James drew his wand, hatred pounding through his veins. How dare he! How dare he claim to be her friend and then call her that! 

“ _Anteoculatia!_ ” James shouted, the spell hit Snape in the back and he toppled forwards, clutching his head with a yell.

“Potter!” James felt his heart sink at the sound of Lily’s voice. “What is wrong with you?” He turned to see her running down the marble staircase. Her pretty red hair flying behind her. “Sev are you okay? Come on, I’ll take you to the hospital wing.”

“He’ll be fine. It’s just some antlers. He deserved worse.” James snapped at her. 

“Just when I think you’re alright you go and do something like this!” Lily spat. James glared at her. The fucking injustice of the whole thing, she probably wouldn’t even believe him if he told her that Snivellus had called her that god-awful word.


	124. 14th February 1976 .II

“Marley, why are you teaching the boys to cast a Patronus and not me?” Lily said, stopping her in the common room. “Remus just told me.”

“I’ll teach you too, come and join us.” Marlene shrugged. Lily opened her mouth, and hesitated.

“You can teach me another time, I’m not going anywhere near Potter for a bit. Did you know he hexed Sev _again_ this morning?” Lily snapped, and it took Marlene a considerable amount of effort not to roll her eyes.

“And what did Snivellus—”

“ _Stop calling him that_.” Lily hissed.

“Fine. What did Snape do to James first?” Marlene asked. Honestly she was sure the answer could just as easily be ‘nothing.’

“James Potter’s greatest defender…Sev didn’t do anything to him, his back was turned.” Lily huffed. “Look, I don’t want to fight with _you_ as well. I’ll see you later.” Marlene watched her cross to the dormitories before leaving through the portrait hole. Lily would cool off with James, she always did. She liked him too much to stay mad at him for long — even if she liked to pretend that she didn’t. 

Marlene had chosen a second floor classroom tonight. She didn’t want to use the same one as last time, not after what had happened with Craig…it was hardly conducive anymore for a Patronus casting mindset. She sat on the teachers desk and waited. As usual, she heard them long before she saw them.

“I’m just saying, Moony, you’ve been a prefect with Evans for five months now, and she still thinks I’m a bloody tosser.” She heard James snap from the corridor. 

“Have you considered that maybe it’s because you _are_ a tosser?” Remus asked. “No amount of talking you up can change that.”

“I’m not a tosser.” He muttered. “Tell him, Padfoot.”

“S’okay, Prongs, you’re not a tosser.” Marlene could hear the grin in Sirius's voice. “You’re a pillock.” She didn’t know where these stupid nicknames they’d started using had come from, but frankly, she thought they made them all sound like pillocks.

“Oh shut up, we all know that’s Wormy.” James snapped. “You know what, fuck all of you. Evans would be lucky to have me, I’m a catch.”

“Sure you are.” Remus said. The door opened and the four of them toppled through rather suddenly. She rolled her eyes at them, but she was having a very hard time trying not to laugh.

“Alright. Sorry for the recap Sirius, but you’ve had a head start.” She said, getting to her feet. It was _just_ going to be Sirius, and then Remus had asked if they could all join them. Honestly Marlene wasn’t sure if she was annoyed or relieved that she wasn’t spending Valentine’s evening alone with Sirius, even if it _was_ just a Patronus lesson. “So the Patronus, in its corporeal form, is supposed to charge the Dementors away…in theory, I’ve never had to actually try it on a Dementor but that’s what the books say. You’re going to need to concentrate completely on one happy thought or memory, the happiest you have, it needs to be so clear that you can see it inside your head—”

“Pete’s will be that time Nancy Andrews accidentally tripped into him.” James laughed, and Peter shot him a sour look.

“And the incantation is —” Marlene said, still biting back a smirk as she spoke. She’d been about to use one of her tried and tested go to memories, when her eyes fell on Sirius. Her heart swelled at the way he was looking at her. “ _Expecto patronum!_ ” The beautiful, silvery lioness shot out of the end of her wand, it sprang right past the boys, charging to the end of the classroom before turning back and approaching slowly. Sirius reached out his hand to touch it, but no sooner had is fingers made contact, it dissolved. James gave her a whooping cheer. “You ready to give it a try?”

After twenty minutes Sirius succeeded in getting a large dog to erupt from the tip of his wand. Marlene was dying to ask him what memory he’d used, that had been the problem before, he seemed to struggle to come up with anything happy enough to produce more than a faint whisper of silver light. She beamed at him as the dog bounded around her happily. 

Remus was the next to succeed. A slivery wolf shot from his wand, and Marlene stared at it. Everything clicking into place. A wolf, all his illness. They even _called_ him Moony.

How had it taken her _so long_. James rubbed the back of his neck. “I think we should call it a night.” He muttered.

“I…yeah.” Marlene murmured, still looking at Remus. “Yeah, you’re right.” James held the classroom door open for them and they filed out. 

“Listen, Marley…” Sirius began but Remus shook his head quickly. “Thanks for that, you’re a good teacher.” That hadn't been what he was going to say, she could tell. She’d never tell anyone about Remus. _Of course_ she wouldn’t. She remembered all too well what Lamot had been like, there were people out there that would want to hurt him. 

“You’re all putting a bit too much faith in me. I’ve never tried to conjure one when faced with an actual Dementor—”

“Wow McKinnon, everyone says that you’ve shagged all four of them, but at the same time? A Valentine’s Day special was it?” Marlene turned. two fourth year Ravenclaw girls were stood on the stairs to their left, watching them. 

“Five points each from Ravenclaw.” Remus snapped. 

“For what?” One of the girls snapped coldly.

“Being a bitch?” James supplied. Marlene laughed. It wasn’t fair that people treated her like this, she didn’t deserve it. Lifting her chin slightly she carried on down the corridor with the boys. She needed to just ignore them. The rest of this school year was going to be good, even if she had to ensure it through sheer force of will; she had friends who loved her, she was good at Quidditch, talented — she could cast a _Patronus_ for fucks sake — and with Craig gone her soul felt a thousand times lighter.


	125. 1st March 1976

She could do this, she could talk to Lily about it. Lily would be supportive. Lily was _always_ supportive. Mary sat up on her bed and looked at her friend. They were alone in the dormitory and Lily was putting up the new poster of her football team that her dad had sent her. Marlene was still at Quidditch practice, but Mary didn’t know where Dorcas was…so she might not have long. She just had to get it over with. Rip the plaster off, as Lily would say. 

“Um, Lily?” 

“I know, it’s not straight, is it?” Lily frowned, sitting back on her heels to look at the poster. Mary bit back a grin. 

“No, it’s not that…there’s someone I think I fancy…” She mumbled, her face growing hot. She could do this. She could tell Lily. Lily would understand. 

“Oh, who?” Lily asked excitedly as she readjusted the poster. 

“Dorcas.” Marlene blurted before she could chicken out. The poster slipped from Lily’s fingers and she turned her head so quickly that Mary was surprised that she didn’t break her neck.

“But Dorcas is a _girl?_ ” 

“What? She _is?_ ” Mary grinned, trying to hide the fact that her heart was pounding with fear. Lily composed her face and quickly jumped over to Mary’s bed. 

“I had no idea that you were…that you liked…” Lily stammered. “It great!” She added quickly, grabbing Mary’s hand. “Really, it is.”

“ _I_ didn’t really know either.” Mary mumbled, chewing her thumb nail. “It doesn’t bother you, does it?”

“Why would it bother me?” Lily asked. “Have you told Dorcas? Does she like you back.”

“No! And you can’t tell her either!” Mary said quickly. “You can’t tell anyone.” Lily might not mind, but she wasn’t stupid, there were plenty of people that would mind an awful lot.

“Mary…”

“I mean it.” Mary said firmly. She didn’t want to risk losing Dorcas as a friend. If she found out that she liked her, and she didn’t feel the same, she might just cut her out. 

“Alright, alright.” Lily sighed. “I think you’re wrong though. About not telling people, I’m not saying you need to tell them that you fancy Dorcas, but our friends aren’t going to care if you like girls.” 

“You know that for sure?” Mary challenged. Lily opened her mouth and closed it again. 

“Pretty sure.” Lily said, pulling her into a tight hug. “I won’t tell anyone, but you should.”

“I’ll think about it, I’m just not ready yet.” Mary mumbled into her shoulder. “Do you know if…does Remus like Dorcas?” She knew that they were close, but she didn’t know if there was anything like that between them. Dorcas had certainly never mentioned it.

“A little bit.” Lily sighed. “But not _really._ I don’t think Remus really wants to be with anyone. And if you told him that you liked her, and if the two of you were together, he’d be so happy for you. I know he would. So you should tell—”

“Are you still not talking to James?” Mary asked quickly, cutting her off. She didn’t need to hear again that she should tell people. She knew Lily’s heart was in the right place, but she just didn’t think she could just yet. 

“I’ve not spoken to him since Valentine’s Day. He attacked Sev again. He can’t keep doing that, Sev is my friend — they’re both my friends — and they don’t have to like each other, but James is bullying him and it’s wrong.” Lily hissed. “It makes it hard to be James’s friend.” 

“James said it was because Severus called you a…a you know what.” Mary said. “I’d have hexed him too. We all would have.”

“Sev would _never_ call me that.” Lily insisted, though Mary wasn’t sure that she looked all that convinced.

“Why would James lie about that? James might be a lot of things, but come on, Lily…and you know what he’s like, is it so hard to believe that he was defending your honour?” Mary grinned. It was even easier to believe that Severus would call her that awful word in front of his vile friends who set out to make people's lives miserable. “You know what Avery and Mulciber are, isn’t it possible that Severus would call you that in front of them to…fit in?” 

Lily bit her lip, she looked hurt. That hadn’t been what Mary had wanted, but she didn’t think that James was lying about this. “Even if he did, James shouldn’t have…” She trailed off, and returned to her poster, and Mary decided not to push her on it anymore.


	126. 18th March 1976

James rubbed his eyes as threw his Muggle Studies book onto the table. He couldn’t read any more right now, had gone midnight already and he was exhausted. He should have started the chapter earlier but he’d wanted to draw more of the map to include their latest full moon discoveries, and the others weren’t even half as good at drawing as he was. The common room was mostly empty now, except for a few stragglers including a couple of fourth years, Craig, and a sleeping Lily. James got up and crossed to her sofa as the fourth years went upstairs.

“Evans, wake up. Time to go to bed.” He murmured, shaking her shoulder gently.

“Leavemelone.” She grumbled, pulling a cushion over her head. James sighed, he couldn’t just   
leave her alone down here with Craig; she was hardly his favourite person and as far as James was concerned, Craig Platt was a monster. James grabbed two blankets and another cushion in the corner. He draped one over her and tucked her in, bitting back a smile. She’d done the same for him. How had that only been two years ago? It felt like another life. James settled down on the floor next to the sofa, and took off his glasses. As tired as he was, it took him a long time to fall asleep — he wasn’t even sure that he wanted to sleep. Even after he’d closed his eyes with the _intention_ of sleeping, he was listening hard to the scratching of Craig’s quill. It didn’t help that the temptation to curse him was almost overwhelming. He wanted to _hurt_ Craig, more than he’d ever wanted to hurt anyone.

When he woke a few hours later, Lily’s arm was hanging off the edge of the sofa and she’d linked her little finger with his. James closed his eyes again, grinning. It was lighter now, people would soon start emerging from their dormitories and he would have to move — plus Remus had spent all of yesterday in the hospital wing, and he could go and check on him shortly. Until then, however, he wanted to soak up as much of Lily Evans holding his hand as he could, especially because every time he managed to move her an inch, he went and did something to make her hate him again. James was sure that he’d probably do something else to infuriate her before long, but right now, Lily was holding his hand and that was fine by him. He wasn’t even going to tell Marlene or Sirius about this, there was something so sweet about the gesture, and something so intimate about sleeping next to her, he wanted to keep it to himself.

Remus didn’t wait for Madam Pomfrey to tell him that he could leave the hospital wing. He felt fine now, just a bit pathetic. He’d been very weak yesterday, run down. It hadn’t been that bad in a while. It was so early that he only spotted a couple of students on his way down to the Great Hall for breakfast.

“Remus!” Remus was almost tempted to pretend that he hadn’t heard her, but the Entrance Hall was too quiet for that. He turned to face Marlene as she hurried down the stairs to him. “Have you been avoiding me?”

_Yes_. “No.” He lied. She knew, he’d seen it on her face last month. Too many people knew. It was too dangerous. For him, for them…for his parents. He didn’t think his friends would tell, he didn’t think Lily or Marlene would tell. At least, not intentionally. But enough people knew what he was that a man had broken into his house to, at best, torture him…

Now look at his poor mum. Too many people knew. So yes, he’d been avoiding Marlene McKinnon.

“Are you feeling better now? You weren’t around yesterday. I figured it was an upset stomach or something?” Marlene asked. They were both lying now, and Remus smiled gratefully. She wasn’t pushing the topic, he’d been worried that she’d have come right out and asked him.

“Much better. Thanks.” He said. Marlene pulled him in to a hug, and he hesitated for a moment before returning it. She held on far tighter and far longer than he’d been expecting and when she released him, he found that he had to blink away a couple of tears. “ Come, let’s get some breakfast.” He mumbled, turning his back on her quickly and leading them into the Great Hall.


	127. 27th March 1976

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much [MarleyMckitten](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MarleyMckitten) for the present suggestion!!

Marlene landed beside Dougie and wrapped her arms around his neck, she felt the rest of the team crash into them. They had won, and they had played _so well_. Even without Dougie catching the snitch like that, they’d been destroying Hufflepuff. She jumped onto Dougie’s back and showered the side of his head with kisses. If they beat Ravenclaw, the cup was theirs. 

“Sorry Jamie, but we’re commandeering your birthday party.” She laughed. “No, actually, I’m not sorry, you didn’t give me a party at all.” 

“Fine by me.” James grinned. Marlene watched the Gryffindors descended from the stands and onto the pitch. She was sure nothing in the world would beat this feeling. Sure, she might not be universally liked, but when she was up in the air, the Gryffindors at least, thought she was brilliant. 

They changed quickly, wanting to return to the common room. “Marlene, can I have a word?” She turned as they left. Felix Banks was leaning against the wall. 

“Yeah okay. Come to beg us to go easy on you next match?” She smirked. 

“No quite.” Felix laughed. “Um, can I talk to you alone?” 

“Sure. I’ll catch you up— Really, it’s fine.” She added when Ana frowned and James looked like he was about to insist on waiting. They was sweet but it was just Felix. “So what can I do for you? I’m not going to give you any easy saves.”

“I was actually wondering if you’d come to Hogsmeade with me next Saturday…you know, like on a date.” 

“Why?” Marlene asked quickly, and Felix turned red.

“I think you’re nice.” He mumbled awkwardly. She supposed he was sort of alright looking, and he’d seemed decent every time they’d been paired together in lessons. But then, Craig was very good looking, and he’d _seemed_ like a decent person to begin with…though really, the second chance that she had given him was on her. She was going to regret that for a very long time. 

“Nice or easy?” Marlene bit. She was sick of this, sick of people talking about her and sick of every git thinking that she sleep with them. 

“ _Nice_.” Felix said firmly, reaching out to take her hand. Marlene flinched and pulled away from him. “Marlene I—”

“Don’t touch me.” She muttered. “I’m sorry Felix, but I don’t want to go on a date with you.” She waited for him to blow up, but he didn’t, he just shrugged. 

“You know where to find me if you change your mind.” He smiled, though she could tell he was disappointed. “Go and enjoy your party. You were amazing out there.” 

“I— Thanks.” She said. Chewing on her bottom lip she returned to the castle. Marlene weaved her way through her fellow Gryffindors and went up to change into something more fitting for a party, still feeling a little confused. Felix had asked her out…not that she really had any interest in going out with him…

“What’s up with you?” Sirius asked, handing her a drink when she returned to the common room. How did he look so effortlessly fantastic in jeans and a t-shirt?

“Felix Banks asked me out.” She said, and the smile on his face seemed to falter a moment before he hitched it back into place. 

“Isn’t he a little dull?” Sirius asked, taking a sip of his drink and leaning against the wall. Marlene snorted; Sirius had a point, even if it was a bit mean. 

“I turned him down.” Marlene said, hesitating for a moment, she was sure that what she wanted to say would sound stupid, but Sirius would never laugh at her for something like this. “He didn’t fly off the handle or anything. He was completely fine about it.”

She watched his face crumple. That was worst than if he’d laughed at her. “Marls.” He murmured, taking her hand. She didn’t pull away, this was Sirius, he was always so…so soft with her. But she turned her face to the crowd, she couldn’t look at him. “That’s how it’s supposed to be. Do you think James would…I don’t know, hit Lily if he asked her out and she said no—”

“Obviously not.” Marlene snapped. She knew what men were _supposed_ to be like. She’d grown up watching how decent her father and Mr Potter were, and she hated herself for letting Craig treat her like that — for putting up with it — even if only for a short time. 

“What did Craig do to you, Marley?” Sirius asked, his voice strained.

“I don’t want to talk about him.” She said, forcing a smile. “Now, tell me how well I flew today.” 

Lily noticed Mary dancing with Dorcas and winked at her. Mary rolled her eyes and Lily carried on through the crowd looking for James. She’d been feeling a little softer towards him since she’d woken up in the common room and found him asleep beside her on the floor. She told herself it was just because she was half asleep, but she hadn’t been able to resist linking her little finger with his…she’d wanted to take his hand but she was worried that it might have woken him up. 

She took it now though. “I want to give you your present.” She said. As she led him over to the door to the boys’ dormitories, his face lit up. Lily had to swallow back a laugh. If he thought _that_ was going to be his present then he was about to be very disappointed. Lily closed the door behind them and took a small box out of her pocket. Someone tried to open the door and James kicked it closed again, keeping his foot on it.

“Give me a minute!” He called, before opening the box and taking out the little golden Snitch. Lily swallowed, it occurred to her now, that this was really stupid. She just should have given him a book or something, a normal present. 

“I stole it from Madam Hooch’s office.” She grinned…the whole thing had been quite thrilling. 

“You stole this? Lily Evans, you’re a _prefect_.” He smirked, his eyes alive with excitement. “You broke a rule, more than one I bet.”

“I did. It felt pretty good too. Though I am a little worried I’m going to get in trouble.” She laughed. “Happy birthday.” 

“If anyone asks, I’ll say I nicked it, I have no problem getting in trouble.” James said, letting the Snitch fly for a moment before catching it. “I’m not sure you really know your Quidditch though, Evans. I’m a Chaser, I catch the big red ball.” 

“I _know_ that.” Lily said, rolling her eyes. “This was just the easiest one to steal. The Bludgers try to kill people, and what was I supposed to do with the Quaffle, put it under my top and pretend to be pregnant?” 

He was impressed, she could tell, but she was sure it had nothing to do with her knowledge of Quidditch terms. Lily, reached up on her tiptoes and kissed his cheek, catching the corner of his mouth. “Happy birthday, James.” She said again, before nudging his foot away from the door with her own and hurrying back out into the common room. It hadn’t been about the Snitch, she could have stolen anything, she just wanted him to know that there was that side of her, that she could be rebellious, and break rules. As much as she didn’t want to admit it, she _cared_ so much about how James Potter saw her.


	128. 9th April 1976

Sirius knocked on McGonagall’s office door, it was strange to be summoned here when he wasn’t in trouble. Of course, he still visited it from time to time when he needed somewhere quiet, but he was usually only _summoned_ here when he was in trouble.

“Take a seat, Black.” She said, spreading career leaflets out on her desk. “You’re here to discuss any future career plans you might have, I’ll be able to advise you on which subjects to carry forwards to N.E.W.T Level. Have you considered what you might want to do after you finish school?” She didn’t sound hopeful when she asked this. 

Sirius hesitated, he’d been thinking about this a lot since the notice about careers advice had gone up in the common room. He’d never really thought about his life beyond Hogwarts, it was his favourite place in the world, he didn’t ever want to leave. James had pointed out how cool a career as a Curse-Breaker sounded, and he had a point, it would certainly be exciting. And yet, when he was drifting off to sleep the previous few nights, there was one career idea that kept selling itself to him.

“I’m actually waiting for you to retire to take over the Transfiguration post.” He said with a slight grin. McGonagall opened her mouth and closed it again. She actually gave him a smile.

“How old do you think I am, Black?” Sirius bit down hard on his tongue to keep himself from saying ‘a thousand’. “I have no plans on retiring any time soon, so unless you intend to survive on your family’s money, I think you should think about other avenues.” He highly doubted his parents would support him much longer, that was the luxury of the Reguluses of the family. “If your heart is set on teaching Transfiguration and you’re prepared to relocate, there are plenty of other wizarding schools in the world that you can contact about potential teaching posts.”

“I suppose.” Sirius said, trying not to sound too glum. Part of the appeal though had been Hogwarts itself, it was his home.

“You certainly have the required skill at Transfiguration, you have been top of the class in this subject every year that you’ve been here and you are on track to receive and Outstanding in your O.W.L; in fact, you have continually demonstrated ability far beyond your years. However—”

“There was always going to be a ‘but’, wasn’t there?” He asked.

“Teaching is an incredible responsibility...a quality that you have frequently shown to lack.” McGonagall’s voice was harsh, but the corner of her mouth twitched. She wasn’t telling him off. 

“Have a think about what I’ve said, and we can arrange another meeting after the Easter holidays to see if you want to consider other options just in case you are unable to find a teaching post.” She said. Sirius got to his feet, he was just about close the office door behind him when she spoke again. “I think you have the potential to be an excellent teacher.”

Sirius beamed and closed the door, though it didn’t last. He knew that Dumbledore had a resistance army, he was going to join as soon as he was able — and he knew he wouldn’t be the only one. He had to fight, but the chances of surviving this war long enough to have any sort of career seemed very slim.


	129. 10th April 1976

Marlene was sat on the floor by the common room fire, trying to memorise the formula for Cross-Species Switching. She could perform the spell…just about, but that wasn’t going to help her in the theory exam come June, and she could hardly leave revising until after the Easter holidays; the O.W.Ls would feel an awful lot closer on the other side of them.

“Have you had your careers meeting yet?” Lily asked Remus, as she attempted to vanish the kitten that was cleaning itself on the coffee table.

“Yeah, McGonagall gave me loads of information. I’m just not sure how much of it is going to be helpful.” He muttered. “I don’t know what I want to do.” He added quickly, looking rather miserable about the whole prospect. She supposed that if it ever came out that he was a werewolf, it wouldn’t be easy for him to get a job. She hadn’t told Remus that she knew, nor had she told anyone else. A very small part of her wasn’t sure if that was the right decision, but in the odd moments when this little voice spoke up, the rational part of her mind reasoned that it was very likely that the teachers were _already_ aware, and anyway, he was only dangerous for a handful of hours once a month. Plus, she _knew_ Remus. He had such a kind heart, this didn’t change who he was.

“Where are the Lost Boys when you need them?” Lily groaned when the kitten jumped into her lap and curled up. She picked it up and put it back on the table.

“The Lost Boys?” Marlene asked. She figured that she was talking about Sirius and James, but she felt like she was missing a reference.

“Peter Pan.” Remus said, looking up as the portrait hole opened. “Speak of the devils.”

“Ah good, Sirius. I need you, I can’t get the kitten to disappear.” Lily said, attempting the spell for him. The kitten simply looked up at her and gave a rather adorable meow.

“I told you, Lils.” Marlene grinned, reaching forward to give it a scratch behind the ear. “It’s because you don’t _want_ the kitten to disappear.”

“I promise, if you make it disappear, I will bring it right back.” Sirius laughed. “Now, you’re not moving your wrist with enough determination, it’s a bigger mammal, so if you just—”

“I’ve got this.” James said, crossing the room and taking gentle hold of her wrist. Sirius rolled his eyes and flopped down into his arm chair. James demonstrated the resolve she was supposed to use, and to his credit, when Lily tried the spell again, the kitten did vanish.

“Thanks.” She muttered, but Marlene was sure that the was something rather forced to the irritation in her voice. James’s face lit up as though Lily declared her undying love for him. “Can I get him back now?” Sirius held out his hand, and with a wave of his wand, the kitten appeared on his palm.

“As promised.” He said, handing it back to Lily.

“Is it the same one?” She asked.

“Of course.” Though Marlene wasn’t sure if he was telling the truth, she thought the kitten looked slightly less ginger than when it had vanished. Maybe it was just the light.


	130. 17th April 1976

Sirius had begged McGonagall not to send him home for the Easter holidays, but her hands had been tied. His mother had insisted, and as he was still only sixteen, there was little McGonagall could do. It was for appearances, they would have guests over — including the Minister — to celebrate Narcissa’s engagement to Malfoy the Wanker, and his dear mother wanted them to look like the darling happy family that they weren’t. As far as his mother and aunt were concerned, it was bad enough that Dromeda had brought _such dishonour_. 

“It broke my heart when she ran away like that.” His uncle Cygnus told Barty Crouch as they stood in the drawing room of Grimmauld Place. “We never had trouble from Bella and Cissa. Did you know, I’ve never even met my own granddaughter?” Sirius couldn’t believe the gall of him. To stand there and say all that when they were stood in front of the tapestry that his mother had blasted Dromeda off. To stand there and say all that when they’d planned to keep her from even giving birth to Dora. Sirius opened his mouth to interject, but his father caught his eye with a look that clearly said _keep your fucking mouth shut._

“That’s terrible, Cygnus.” Crouch said. “Our children never appreciate the sacrifices we make for them.” Unable to take it Sirius stalked from the room and across to the parlour. He should have pointed out to Crouch that he was in a room full of Voldemort supporters, a few arrests might have brought some entertainment to the evening. He picked a bottle of wine from the table and topped up Alphard’s glass and then his own.

“You’re a good boy, Sirius.” Alphard smiled as he sat down next to him.

“Thanks Uncle Alphie” Sirius said, catching his mother’s eye as she pursed her lips. 

“What was I saying?” Walburga asked, setting her own glass down. 

“You were about to start criticising my life choices, Wally.” Alphard said pleasantly, and Walburga’s eyes flashed. She hated when her brothers called her that, but Sirius found it hilarious. 

“You need to settle down, get married. It’s ridiculous that you still live with that friend of yours.” She scolded. Sirius caught Narcissa’s eyes and they grinned at each other, despite the fact that she hadn’t spoken to him in over two years; Barney was Alphard’s _special friend._ “You’re currently unattached, aren’t you Minister?” Walburga asked Millicent Bagnold. “Don’t you think my dear brother is a handsome man?” 

“Very handsome.” Bagnold laughed. “But I have rather a lot on my plate right now.” 

“I don’t need you to find me a wife, Wally, I’m perfectly happy.” And deeply in love with Barney Abbott. _My, my, how could he resist him_ — their initials even spelled out ABBA, it was like they were made for each other. Sirius choked on his wine as he tried not to laugh. He’d definitely had too much to drink. 

They were joined by the guests from the drawing room, and Sirius steadfastly refused to get up for his father to sit down. They spent a moment engaged in a silent battle of wills, before Orion went to stand beside his wife. Sirius supposed he didn’t want to make a scene in front of the Minister for Magic…he’d probably suffer for it later.

“A toast to Lucius and my darling Narcissa.” Cygnus said, practically glowing with pride. Sirius, on the other hand, thought Narcissa could do better. “And the union of our two great families.”

Sirius did not raise his glass. 

Eventually there were only Blacks left and Sirius thought it was time to make himself scarce. His mother hadn’t punished him for dressing for the occasion in a Muggle suit, but he was sure that wouldn’t last now that they were no longer in the company of polite society. He slipped out of the parlour and up to his bedroom. 

“You’ve gotten worse.” Bellatrix sneered from the doorway, looking around at the Muggle decor of his room. She’d followed him upstairs, Narcissa and Regulus close behind her. “ _Expelliarmus_.”

Sirius’s wand flew across the room as he dived for it on his bedside table and Regulus caught it. “Give it back, Reggie.”

“ _Give it back, Reggie!_ ” Bellatrix mimicked, walking around his room.

“Your mother wants a word, Sirius.” Narcissa said, joining the other two and tugging on Regulus’s sleeve. “Come on Reg, let’s go back down.”

“Not so fast, Cissy.” Bellatrix smiled, pointing her wand at the photograph of Sirius and Marlene on his bedside table. “ _Reducto!_ ” The frame shattered, spraying the room with wood and glass. 

“Oi!” Sirius shouted, kneeling down to try and salvage the photograph. 

“Reggie tells me you’ve been spending all your time with Mudbloods and Blood Traitors.” Bellatrix said. “You disgust me.” Sirius had to laugh. _He_ disgusted _her?_ He got to his feet.

“Yes.” He said proudly. “I have.” 

“Pass me his wand Regulus.” Regulus handed it to Bellatrix and Sirius knew what was about to happen, but there was nothing he could do to stop it. He wasn’t going to give her the satisfaction of screaming. Narcissa must have understood too, because she pulled Regulus into her arms and blocked his view. “ _Crucio!_ ” 

It was pain like nothing Sirius had imagined. No Defence Against the Dark Arts class, no text book, had ever been able to capture the effects of this spell. Every single nerve ending was in agony, obliterating any resolve not to scream; he collapsed, writhing on the floor.

Bellatrix was laughing as she lifted the spell. “You’re pathetic. That was mild, I was hardly even trying.” 

“What’s really pathetic is lightening your hair to try look like your baby sister.” Sirius panted, trying to push himself to his feet. “I know gentlemen prefer blondes but no one has ever accused Rodolphus Lestrange of being a gentleman. I’d go back to your real colour, it’s going to be hard to maintain that in Azkaban.” 

“ _Cruci_ — Narcissa let him watch!” Bellatrix shouted. Narcissa was staring at Sirius, white faced, and she was gripping Regulus so tightly that he was surprised that she hadn’t crushed his bones.

“Bella, he’s a child.” She hissed, and for a brief moment, as he and Narcissa looked at each other, he was sure that neither of them knew if she was talking about him or Regulus.

“He’s fourteen, Cissy. He should get used to seeing this. He said he wants to join the Dark Lord, and the Dark Lord doesn’t tolerate weakness.” 

“Don’t, please.” Sirius gasped, looking up at Narcissa. He was with her, Reggie shouldn’t see this. He was too young…they had to protect him from it. 

“You’re weak, Cissy.” Bellatrix snarled, turning back to Sirius. “ _Crucio!_ ”

Sirius wanted to die. He knew his family would be able to hear him screaming. Alphard had already gone home, and he was the only one who would have cared. However, he wasn’t going to give Bellatrix the satisfaction of begging her to stop. 

“What is taking so—”

“Mum.” Sirius whimpered. She looked down at him with such loathing that he knew she’d never lift a finger to help him. 

“You three, downstairs.” She said, taking his wand back from Bellatrix and throwing it onto he bed. His brother and cousins filed out of the room. “Don’t look at me like that Sirius, Bella just saved me a job.” She spat, slamming the door as she left. Reggie had looked distraught as he’d left…maybe there was still hope for him yet… Sirius picked up his wand, feeling sick. _She had used his own wand._ He’d tried so hard not to cry, but now that he was alone he couldn’t stop himself.


	131. 25th April 1976

James spotted Sirius wandering along the seventh floor corridor. Why hadn’t he just come back to the common room? The train had brought the students who’d gone home for Easter back hours ago.

“Padfoot!” He called. Sirius looked up and smiled, but there was something off about it. “Where’ve you been?” 

“Just walking.” Sirius shrugged. “How were your holidays?”

“They were good.” James said, though he’d found himself really missing Sirius. He loved Remus and Peter, but they just weren’t the same. He looked around to make sure they were alone. “You missed the full moon. Didn’t want to stray too far from the Shrieking Shack mind. It’s harder when you’re not there.” Without Sirius to back him up he didn’t want to risk losing track of Remus. 

“I would have rather been here.” Sirius murmured, staring at a spot about two inches above Jame’s left shoulder. There was something wrong with him. 

“Sirius what—”

“I’m fine.” He said, far too quickly for him to have really been fine. “I just…I really hate them. Every last fucking one of them.”

“I know you do.” James said, but Sirius was shaking his head. 

“You don’t. Your family are wonderful. All of your families are wonderful. None of them would ever—” Sirius broke off quickly and ran a hand over his face. He looked so distressed. “They’re evil. Every last fucking one of them.” He said again.

“What about your uncle?” James asked, desperately searching round for something to pull him from this misery that seemed to be consuming him. 

“Okay yeah, sure Uncle Alphard is great. So is Andromeda, though she was so great they disowned her. But the rest of them…My parents, what does it say about me if I came from them?” 

Sirius looked close to tears and James didn’t know what to do. He hardly knew how to comfort Marlene on the rare occasion that she cried in front of him…and Sirius was another matter entirely. 

“Black sheepdog?” James grinned before he could stop himself, and to his relief Sirius let out a bark of a laugh. “Come back to the common room. We’ve missed you…Marley’s missed you.” He added, rolling his eyes. Marlene had been pining, and James didn’t even have it in him to tease her. Sirius shook his head and sat down against the wall. 

“I’m going to wait until it quietens down, I don’t really feel like being around anyone right now.” Sirius sighed. James sat down beside him, something was wrong…he hadn’t seen Sirius like this in a while. 

“What happened, Padfoot?” He asked, a horrible feeling was starting to develop in his gut. Sirius seemed to have folded in on himself.

“It doesn’t mat—”

“Sirius, don’t. You’re my best friend, whatever happened, whatever’s wrong, you don’t have to tell me but don’t say it doesn’t matter.” James murmured. 

“Bellatrix tortured me.” Sirius said quietly, staring fixedly at the opposite wall. Whatever James had been expecting, it hadn’t been that.

“ _What?_ ” He hissed.

“Turns out the Cruciatus curse hurts, quite a bit actually.” Sirius said, his voice straining for a pleasantness that he couldn’t quite reach. James’s heart was pounding, he reached out to touch Sirius’s shoulder but Sirius shrugged him away. 

“You have to tell someone, she’ll spend the rest of her life in Azkaban…” James said but Sirius was shaking his head.

“Maybe, but she used my wand, so maybe I’ll be the one they send to Azkaban.” Sirius mumbled. “I’m not risking it, I don’t think I could survive that place.” James didn’t say anything, he agreed, but it didn’t think it was a nice thing to say. Sirius _wouldn’t_ survive in Azkaban; even if they let him out he wouldn’t be the same person that went in. “Look, I’m alright.” 

“No you’re not.” James said quickly. Sirius hadn’t let him pretend that he was okay when he wasn’t, and couldn’t just sit here now and ignore that fact that Sirius was hurting. Sirius just shrugged.


	132. 13th May 1976

“I’m starting to regret taking Divination.” Dorcas said, sitting up on one of the sinks in the girls' bathroom and opening her book in her lap. “I mean, have you ever seen anything?” She looked up, Mary was stood watching her in the full length mirror opposite as she brushed her hair. 

“Nothing that can’t be written off as coincidence.” Mary said, quickly looking away. Dorcas had noticed that she’d been doing that a lot lately…as though she fancied her. Dorcas found herself thinking about it sometimes, it was never something she’d ever considered before, never considered the fact that maybe she might not _just_ like boys. And Mary was the sweetest person in the world… “Dad said he was really good at Divination and just _how?_ ” She laughed. People would be awful to them if she went out with Mary, it didn’t bother her, she could deal with people being awful…but Mary was just the sweetest person. But she could kiss her, just to see what it was like. Not here of course, she’d want it to be somewhere nicer than the bathroom— “You’re staring at me.” Mary said turning a little pink.

“Yeah, I was just thinking that—” The door opened and Dorcas broke off quickly, but it was just Sirius stumbling in. “What are you doing in here…what if we’d been getting changed or something?” Dorcas tried not to let her imagination get carried away with the ‘something’ and, from the brief glint in Sirius’s eyes, he seemed to be struggling for a moment with the same thing.

“Yeah, I don’t care. Hide me.” He hissed urgently. “McGonagall’s looking for me.”

“What have you done?” Dorcas asked, sliding off the sink and pushing him into a cubicle.

“Nothing.” Sirius insisted and Dorcas quickly shut the cubicle door on him as McGonagall entered the bathroom.

“Macdonald, Meadowes, have you seen Black?” McGonagall asked.

“Which one, Professor?” Mary asked innocently and Dorcas bit down on the inside of her cheek to try and keep herself from smiling.

“Sirius.” McGonagall said, her nostrils flaring, she knew that they knew who she was talking about.

“I’ve not seen him all day, Professor.” Dorcas lied, though it sounded very unconvincing, and it didn’t help that she was still holding the cubicle door closed.

“Oh really, then why are his robes sticking out from the door?” McGonagall asked. Sirius opened the door and stepped out, his shoulders slumped. “Five points from Gryffindor, you’re not allowed in the girls' bathrooms. My office, now.”

“Thanks.” Sirius mumbled to Dorcas, and followed McGonagall down the corridor. 

“Sit down, Mr Black.” She said, taking a seat behind her desk. Sirius slumped into the chair opposite and stared up at the ceiling. “I’ve been trying to arrange another careers meeting with you and you have failed to show up to a single one. What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” Sirius muttered. He couldn’t bring herself to look at her. She was being stern with him, but she cared, he knew that she did — and he could hardly stand it. He couldn’t tell her, as much as he desperately wanted to, he couldn’t. 

“Have you thought any more about what you would like to do after school, is your heart still set on teaching?” She asked, there was a forced calm to her voice. 

“I don’t want to do anything.” Sirius said, and he knew that he sounded childish but he didn’t care. 

“So you’ve sorted with your parents that you’ll live off of their money for the rest of your life?” McGonagall challenged. Sirius flinched, he didn’t want anything from his parents, he didn’t want anything to do with them. 

“Obviously not.” Sirius snapped, still determinedly not looking at her. “Why did you make me go back there?” He finally asked. He was so angry with her. He _knew_ it wasn’t her fault, but he was so angry at her. Sirius wanted someone to blame, some one to hate for this, and Bellatrix and his mother weren’t here. 

“Sirius.” She said, her voice kinder than it had been. “Your mother insisted, there was nothing I could do. I’m sorry…if something has happened, tell me, let me help you.” 

Sirius finally looked at her, there was so much worry in her face. The saddest thing was, McGonagall had been a better mother to him than _she_ had ever been. He certainly loved McGonagall more than he could ever remember loving his mother. “I don’t need help from you.” He snarled, getting up and slamming the door closed behind him. Sirius felt sick with guilt, she only wanted to help.


	133. 6th June 1976

Lily had decided to keep the kitten, she’d called him Gary and her friends had laughed themselves silly about it. But that was the point, it was such a silly name for a cat that crossed over into adorable. At least she thought so anyway. He purred contentedly from where he’d curled himself up on her stomach. 

“Keep your legs still.” Marlene muttered. She’d offered to paint Lily’s toenails and Lily so rarely bothered with them, her feet were so battered that it seemed pointless to even try.

“Name the ingredients of Polyjuice potion.” Lily said, holding up her potions book as she quizzed Marlene in preparation for their exam next week.

“Fluxweed, knotgrass, lacewing flies, leeches, Horn of Bicorn and Boomslang skin.” Marlene said confidently. Lily waited a moment to see if Marlene would realise the mistake, but she didn’t.

“You’re missing one.” Lily prompted.

“No I’m not.” She said. Lily propped herself up on her elbows, letting the book fall onto her chest. Gary jumped up and shot under the bed. “I said keep still. You’re going to end up with red nail varnish all over your toe.” She said, grabbing her ankle. “What am I missing?”

“How about the piece of the person you’re turning into? Pretty important part, Marls.” Lily laughed, it would be useless without it.

“Oh shit, yeah.” Marlene grinned. There was a loud crack from down in the common room and they looked at each other. Lily knew exactly who it was going to be. “Shouldn’t you go and investigate…like a responsible prefect?” She teased. 

“I have neither the time or energy to get into an argument with James Potter and Sirius Black right now. I don’t understand why you’re friends with them. Potter especially.” She said, trying to sound irritable, if Marlene realised that she was going soft on James…if Marlene realised just how much she liked him, Lily knew she’d never hear the end of it. “I would like to hope, that if it's anything too serious, Remus will sort it out.”

“I don’t understand why you’re friends with Snape.” She challenged. “I know James is arrogant, and he can be a bit mean sometimes…but he’s so gentle. I know you’ve seen that side of him.” Of course Lily had seen that side of him, that was the side of him that she liked the most…even before she’d noticed how attractive he’d gotten. “If you have such a problem with James and Sirius, then why the hell did you suggest I ask Sirius out?” Lily opened her mouth and closed it again, debating whether or not to tell Marlene the truth.

“Remember when Flitwick paired me up with him in Charms back in November?” Lily finally asked. “All he did for those three hours was talk about you. But he didn’t talk about you the way other guys here talk about you — I mean they’re right, you _are_ gorgeous and your legs _are_ like a hundred miles long...not that they phrase it quite so politely — but all Black was talking about was how smart and funny you are. He clearly likes you and he definitely respects you—”

“He’s hardly been shy about going after a girl he likes, and yet…plus, he’d probably get bored and start kissing other girls in the broomsheds after a couple of weeks. For all his qualities, and he has a lot of them, he hardly strikes me as the one girl sort of boy.” Marlene shrugged. Lily rolled her eyes and flopped back down in the bed. If Marlene carried on like this much longer than Lily was going to lock to two of them in a classroom and not let them out until they admitted how they felt about each other. “Get back to the questions, you said you’d help me revise.”


	134. 17th June 1976

“Where did Dorcas disappear to?” Mary asked Lily looking around. Lily grinned at her, of course she was asking about Dorcas. “Oh shut up.”

“Well, we had our Defence Agains the Dark Arts exam today, so I imagine she’s rushed off to write to Alastor.” Lily laughed, spotting Marlene just ahead of them. They caught up with her and Lily linked her arm with Marlene’s. “Dare I ask how you did?”

“I don’t want to brag—”

“Liar.” Mary accused, playfully. “You’ve been top of the class in every Defence Against the Dark Arts exam since we started here.”

Marlene pulled her hair out its bun and smirked at them. “Let’s go sit outside.”

“I noticed Jackie Dobbs was drooling over Black, but it wasn’t her that _he_ was looking at.” Mary grinned, waggling her eyebrows.

“You’re as bad as Lily.” Marlene muttered, looking down to hide her small smile, but not before Lily had noticed it. They crossed down to the lake, it was such a warm and beautiful day, it was a relief to finally be outside. The three girls took off their shoes and socks and dipped their feet in the cool water, and Lily watched the four Gryffindor boys sitting under a beech tree. James was playing with the Snitch that she’d stole for him and she bit back a smile. He looked like such an idiot. A handsome idiot, but an idiot all the same. 

“He’s an absolute wanker.” Lily muttered after five minutes of this. She was very glad her friends hadn’t read Hamlet, or they’d be levelling ‘the lady doth protest to much’ at her.

“Yeah, he really is.” Marlene laughed fondly.

“Fucking hell, Marley. If you crawled any further up Potter’s arse you’d be able to brush his teeth for him.” Lily said, she was doing it on purpose now to wind her up. Marlene snorted.

“I’m not going to even think of a comeback to that.” She grinned. “No because you’re right, but because that was actually very good. Vivid.”

Lily smiled, she’d been rather proud of it herself. “We should be revising for Transfiguration tomorrow.” She said, rolling onto her front and resting her head on her arms.

“In an hour, we’ve just finished an exam, we deserve a little break.” Marlene sighed. Lily closed her eyes, she wasn’t going to argue with that, studying right now was the last thing she wanted to do. She had been dozing off when she heard James and Sirius fighting with Severus. Well, by the sounds of it, they’d started it. _As fucking usual._ She forced herself to sit up and shielded her eyes against the sun, looking over at them.

“Wash your mouth out.” James muttered coldly. “ _Scourgify!_ ”

Lily jumped to her feet as Severus started to choke on the soap bubbles streaming from his mouth, and a hurried over to the boys. “Leave him alone!” She shouted.

“Alright, Evans?” James asked, he had that stupid cocky grin on his face, and she was glad that her cheeks were already warm with anger. Why did he always have to go and do this? He’d gotten worse, and she _knew_ that he’d had a bad year, but that wasn’t Sev’s fault, it wasn’t fair to take it out on him like this. 

“Leave him alone.” She said. “What’s he done to you?” Okay, so Severus had done stuff to him before now…but this time he’d just attacked him out of nowhere. 

“Well, it’s more the fact that he exists, if you know what I mean…” James shrugged. Lily narrowed her eyes as people around them started to laugh. 

“You think you’re funny.” She hissed. “But you’re just an arrogant, bullying toerag, Potter. Leave him _alone_.”

“I will if you go out with me, Evans.” James grinned. “Go on, go out with me and I’ll never lay a wand on old Snivelly again.”

Lily felt winded, she stared at him, trying very hard to keep the hurt off of her face. She’d found herself, more and more, imagining James asking her out. Not when he was having a day like this of course, but in those quiet moments when they’d been up together in the common room…she’d go to bed and imagine how he might ask her out. 

It had never been like this. 

“I wouldn’t go out with you if it was a choice between you and the giant squid.” She said coldly. 

“Bad luck, Prongs.” Sirius said, patting his shoulder consolingly. Like _he_ was the one that needed it. James couldn’t have thought that she would ever say yes like that…which meant he hadn’t really been serious about asking her out. And that hurt the most. No, this was a good thing. She didn’t want to go out with him anyway if he was going to treat her friend like this. “Oi!” Sirius shouted, but Snape had pointed his wand at James. There was a flash of light and blood splattered across James’s robes as a gash cut across his cheek. 

_James_. It looked so deep, and her heart ached to go to him, a longing that was desperately trying to claw its way through the rational thinking that told her how terribly he’d been behaving. 

James flicked his wand at Severus and he was hoisted in the air by his ankles. Lily felt the corner of her mouth twitch and quickly bit down on the inside of her cheek. “Let him down!” She finally shouted, when she was sure that she could trust herself to speak again.

“Certainly.” James shrugged, and Severus fell to the grass below.

“ _Petrificus Totalus!_ ” Sirius snapped as Snape got to his feet, and he went rigid and hit the grass again.

“Leave him alone!” Lily shouted, this was getting fucking ridiculous now, they were showing off and it was cruel. She drew her own wand, pointing it at James.

“Ah, Evans, don’t make me hex you.” James sighed. But even as he said it, they looked at each other and both knew that he would never. For all James’s faults — and he seemed determined to showcase all of them right now — they both knew that he would never pull a wand on her. 

“Take the curse off him, then!” 

“There you go.” James sighed, turning to Severus and lifting the spell. “You’re lucky Evans was here, Snivellus—”

“I don’t need help from filthy little Mudbloods like her!” Severus spat. Lily blinked. She’d never heard him call her that before…her friends had told her that he had, when she wasn’t around. But she hadn’t believed them. Hadn’t wanted to believe them…

“Fine.” Lily shrugged. “I won’t bother in future. And I’d wash your pants if I were you, _Snivellus._ ” 

The crowed around them had moved closer, and she felt Marlene pushing her way through and threw her arm out to stop her advance.

“Apologise to Evans!” James roared, pointing his wand at him.

“I don’t want _you_ to make him apologise!” Lily shouted, honestly, she didn’t even _want_ and apology. “You’re as bad as he is.”

“What? I’d never call you a you-know-what!” 

“Messing up your hair because you think it looks cool to look like you’ve just got off your broomstick, showing off with that stupid Snitch—” Agony flashed across James’s face. She’d hurt him, more than she’d ever intended to, but right now she just didn’t care. Maybe it would knock some fucking sense into that thick skull of his. “—walking down corridors and hexing anyone who annoys you just because you can — I’m surprised your broomstick can get off the ground with that fat heat on it. You make me sick.” 

She grabbed hold of Marlene’s arm as she turned and tugged her away as she strode back off to the castle. The last thing she needed was Marlene getting involved as well. She could hear James calling after her but she didn’t look back. Her eyes were full of tears and she didn’t want him to see them.


	135. 17th June 1976 .II

Lily barely said a word for the rest of the day, and when James and Sirius returned to the common room that night she disappeared through the door to the girls dormitories and didn’t come back down. She was just upset, she’d come round eventually. Marlene crept up behind Sirius’s armchair and covered his eyes. “Guess who?” She asked, cursing herself, this was so fucking childish.

“Someone who just got an 'O' in Defence Against the Dark Arts?” She could feel the grin in his cheeks.

“You know it.” She’d been about to call him ‘babe’ managed to stop herself just in time. As this wasn’t embarrassing enough. 

“I think I probably did too.” He said confidently. “Thanks to you.”

“So James, did you take off Snivelly’s pants?” She asked, the cut on his cheek had been healed now, thank god. She’d have gone after him herself, but James seemed to have handled it. 

“Hey, Marlene? Howard Mason said you produced a Patronus in your Defence Against the Dark Arts practical. Like an actual Patronus?” Ana called over to her before he could answer.

“Yeah.” Marlene shrugged, in a ‘no big deal’ sort of way, even though, frankly, she thought it was a very big deal, and was eager to revel in their admiration. She turned at the sound of a snort.

“Bullshit. I asked her to prove she could make one and she can’t. Patronus lessons are just what she calls spreading her legs for every guy in school.” Craig muttered. Marlene pressed down very hard on Sirius’s shoulder to keep him in his seat and shot a warning look at James. Taking her wand from her robes she imagined Craig’s embarrassment when she proved him wrong. She was sure that’d work better than any memory ever would.

“ _Expecto patronum!_ ” She called, not taking her eyes off of him. The lioness shot from her wand and charged a circle around the common room to cheers and applause, before dissolving. Craig had turned scarlet, from rage or embarrassment though, Marlene wasn’t sure. Maybe both. He got up and slowly closed the distance between them. She realised what he was about to do a second too late; and he struck her hard across the face. She didn’t think the Gryffindor common room had ever been so silent. Blood was pounding in her ears, she didn’t even remember choosing a spell but he was stumbling backwards, clawing at his face and neck as his tongue began to swell. “I’d get to the Hospital Wing before you suffocate.” She said coldly. Panicked, Craig bolted out of the portrait hole. The common room remained eerily quiet.

“Marley…” Sirius whispered, but she ignored him. On her way to the girls dormitory James squeezed her hand for a moment. She couldn’t look at him. If she did she was sure that she’d start crying. 

She was alright. 

Once upstairs Marlene leaned back against the door breathing as hard as if she'd just ran a few laps of the Quidditch pitch. Lily was sat on her bed, her Transfiguration book open in her lap, but Gary was lounging across the pages. She clearly had as little desire for revision as Marlene did.

“What’s up with you?” Lily asked as Marlene sat down on her bed, touching her cheek delicately. It stung.

“It doesn’t matter.” She mumbled, reaching over to scratch Gary behind the ears. The both looked up as the door opened again.

“Lily.” Mary said, entering the room. “Snape is outside the common room. He said he’s going to sleep out there if you don’t go and talk to him.” Lily’s face was expressionless as she carefully moved the book to one side and got up, pulling on her dressing gown.

“Want me to come with you?” Marlene asked.

“No. This won’t take long.” Lily murmured, stowing her wand in her pocket, she hurried across the common room, trying very hard not to look at James as she did, and slipped out of the portrait hole. Severus was waiting for her in the corridor.

“I’m sorry.” He said immediately, but she didn’t care.

“I’m not interested.” She said, folding her arms.

“I’m sorry!” He tried desperately, but Lily was done, she didn’t want to hear it, she didn’t want his apologies. 

“Save your breath.” She muttered coldly. “I only came out because Mary told me you were threatening to sleep here.” 

“I was. I would have done. I never meant to call you Mudblood,” Lily didn’t flinch at the sound of it, but even when he was apologising _he said it again_. She thought of James; James who couldn’t even bring himself to speak it… and Severus’d had the nerve to try and convince her that James was just as bad… She shouldn’t have told James that he was as bad as Severus. “It just—”

“Slipped out?” She asked. He must say it a lot for that to be the case. “It’d too late. I’ve made excuses for you for years. None of my friends can understand why I even talk to you. You and your precious little Death Eater friends.” Severus didn’t say anything and she felt sick. “You see, you don’t even deny it! You can’t wait to join Voldemort, can you?” She asked. Severus opened his mouth but closed it again, there was no talking his way out of this one. “I can’t pretend anymore. You’ve chosen your way, I’ve chosen mine.”

“No, listen, I didn’t mean—”

“To call me Mudblood? But you call everyone of my birth Mudblood, Severus. Why should I be any different?” She asked, and giving him one last disgusted look, she turned her back on him and climbed through the portrait hole.


	136. 1st July 1976

“Lily, please can we talk?” Lily looked up as Severus slid open the compartment door. Lily glared at him, she didn’t know what else there was to say, there wasn’t anything else _to_ say. 

“No, Severus. We’ve already talked. Now I need you to leave me alone.” She said. They were almost back in London and she’d thought that sitting with the other Gryffindors would be a good enough deterrent, but here he was. 

“Lily, please—”

“She said no, Snivellus.” Sirius snapped. “Now fuck off.” 

Lily felt a wave for gratitude towards him and turned away from Severus to look out of the window. “See you, Snivellus.” James said cheerfully. Marlene wrapped her arm around hers and Lily placed her head on her shoulder. She heard the compartment door slam closed as Severus left. 

“What a wanker.” Marlene muttered. She’d spent the last few days calling Severus every name under the sun, and for the first time in Lily’s life, she’d not felt the need to defend him. 

“Don’t let him out. We’re almost there and it was a nightmare trying to get him in.” Lily sighed as James reached across to undo Gary’s cat carrier. She looked down at his hand, his knuckles were red and bruised. “What happened to your hands?” 

“Jamie decided to beat up Craig.” Marlene said, her voice sounded pleasant, but Lily was sure that she could hear an irritated edge to it. “Listen, Lily, if Snape gives you a hard time, you can come and stay with me this summer.” 

“I have ballet.” Lily mumbled, if it wasn’t for that she would, whether Severus was bothering her or not, it would be worth it just to get away from Tuney’s dirty looks. 

That evening however, she decided to ask her dance teacher if she could find room for her at the school’s London branch so she could stay with Marlene. She’d been getting changed for bed when caught sight of movement in the mirror. Frowning, Lily turned and saw Severus in the tree outside. “Lily, please, let me in?” He begged, trying to push open the window. She grabbed the blanket to cover herself before darting forwards to slam the lock down. If he wanted to open it now he’d have to use magic. “Lily please, just talk to me, let me explain! You don’t understand!” She understood perfectly, in fact, it was so clear that she couldn’t believe it had taken her so long to see it.

“Fuck off, Snivellus!” She shouted through the glass, making the accompanying hand gesture, just incase he hadn’t been able to hear her. How long had he been watching her? The thought of it made her skin crawl. How the hell was she supposed to get to sleep now? Heart pounding she wrenched the curtains closed, blocking him from view. She couldn’t spend the summer with him spying on her like that, she’d go Marlene, or anyone that would have her, she didn’t care who at this point.


	137. 4th July 1976

Sirius waited for Marlene outside the Regent’s Park underground station. It was sweltering hot; he’d thought the heatwave had been bad up north but the temperature there was nothing compared to London right now. He spotted her climbing the steps, her hair was in a messy bun, and she was wearing a crop top and very short high-waisted shorts. It took him by surprise for a second, he was so used to seeing her in her school robes. Realising that he was staring at her legs (they were so long!) he quickly caught her eye and waved to her over. She wrapped her arms around his neck in a hug. She smelled incredible; like sunshine.

“Hi.” He grinned, stupidly. _Get a grip, Padfoot_ , he told himself. “Want to get an ice cream?”

“Sure.” She smiled, pulling a bottle of sun cream out of her handbag. “But first put this on…I stopped in a Muggle shop on the way, I figured you wouldn’t have even thought about it. James never looks after his skin either.”

“I don’t need that stuff.” He shrugged, what was a bit of sun.

“You’re such a guy. Humour me.” She said, forcing the bottle into his hand. Sighing, he sat back down on the bench and rubbed sun cream into the skin that wasn’t covered by his t-shirt and shorts. He supposed it was quite sweet that she was trying to take care of him. Once inside the park they stopped at an ice cream van; he bought them each a 99 and they sat on the grass under a willow tree to eat them. He took too big of a bite of his and scrunched his face up as the cold shot up to his forehead. Marlene laughed, licking ice cream off of her chocolate flake.

“Rookie mistake.” She grinned. They watched people pass by in a comfortable silence; when they’d finished their ice creams he pulled her to her feet… and was pleasantly surprised when she didn’t let go of his hand.

“I guess your Mum must be pretty busy at the moment?” Sirius asked, there had been a brief surge in Muggle deaths over the last fortnight, and Beatrice McKinnon and the rest of her department were having to get inventive, though that landslide in Hull and been an interesting story choice.

“I’ve only seen her once since I got home. Although she has managed to negotiate a pay rise because of all the extra work they’re having to do.” Marlene said, with a tone that clearly said that this didn’t make up for the absence of her mother. “Lily’s coming to stay for the rest of the summer, so it won’t just be me and Nicole all day. She’s said that she’s sick of Snape showing up on her doorstep everyday. She caught him looking though her bedroom window on her first night back. She has to wait until after her Dad’s birthday though.”

“What a fucking creep.” Sirius muttered, feeling exceptionally sorry for Lily. They spent a considerable portion of time calling Snivellus every name under the sun. It didn’t escape his notice that from time to time the people they past would take a second glance at the still very angry red marks on Marlene’s back. He realised that to them it must look like she had been struck by lightning. _Fucking Snivellus_. If Marlene noticed though she didn’t care, or at least she was pretending not to.

By the time they’d looped the park twice and ended up back where they started, Sirius was starting to get hungry…not to mention thirsty. “Want to go for a drink?” He asked, nodding at the Muggle pub across the road. They crossed over and he caught sight of the barman though the window. “I think it might be better if you order the drinks.” Sirius said, the Muggle drinking age was eighteen, and Marlene was probably going to have a better chance of getting served than he was. He wasn't sure how any man could deny her something she ask for.

“Go and sit down, if I have no luck then we’ll swap.” Marlene laughed, pushing open the door. Sirius sat at one of the outdoor tables and waited. Marlene returned not long later carrying a jug of Pimm’s, two glasses, two packets of crisps and a bowl of nuts on a tray. “I’ve ordered us some chips as well.” She said as Sirius poured out their drinks for them.

“Thanks.”

“He was powerless against my charm.” She laughed.

“Yeah, I’m sure it was your charm that he couldn’t resist.”

It had been a perfect day.

For just a moment, Marlene had been able to forget how terrifying the world was. She and Sirius had existed in a peaceful little bubble. The sun had set some time ago but she still felt warm…though she thought that might’ve had something to do with the few glasses of Pimm’s in the pub. There was a soft, contented smile on Sirius’s face, she couldn’t keep herself from stealing glances at him.

“I’ll take you home.” He murmured, giving her hand a squeeze.

“Don’t be daft. I live out in Wallington, I’ve got to get the underground and a train. It’s too far for you to go just to come back.” Marlene said. She supposed this was where the ‘chivalry’ came into play. But Marlene could look after herself, she certainly didn’t need Sirius Black escorting her home.

“Well, stay at mine then.” Sirius said, and it suddenly occurred to her that this might be less about him making sure she got home safe, and more that he wanted to make the day last a little bit longer. “I’ll sneak you in.”

Grimmauld Place, it turned out, was a Muggle street and this took Marlene by surprise. With everything she knew about the Black family, she hadn’t expected them to live among Muggles. The houses were tall townhouses, and they had a certain subtle grandeur about them. She followed Sirius up the steps of number twelve, and he gave her hand another squeeze as he let them in, with something of an apologetic look on his face. Marlene’s eyes traveled from the elegant chandelier to the grand staircase…she was just thinking how beautiful it was when they started to climb the stairs and she saw the row of beheaded house elves lining the wall. She almost let out a cry of shock.  
At the sound of voices from a door pulled a jar to their left, Sirius actually turned and pressed his finger to his lips. Marlene could feel laughter bubbling up inside of her, he looked ridiculous…in fact the whole situation was ridiculous. She bit down on her lip to keep from giggling. He led her up to her bedroom. The difference from the rest of the house was striking. While the walls were covered in elegant silk, and the large bed was ornate…everywhere she looked the room was obnoxiously Gryffindor, and even more obnoxiously Muggle. She recognised the Gryffindor scarf she’d given him in their first year, and the all four motorbike posters Lily had given him hung on the wall…as well as, Marlene saw with a mixture of amusement and just the slightest twinge of irritation, several posters of Muggle bikini models. Well, she told herself, they might have bigger boobs than she did but she was definitely more intelligent. Sirius had told her that there was no such thing as too smart, and she was damn well going to hold him to that.

“I love it.” She beamed.

“Good. My parents hate it.” He said sounding delighted. “You take the bed, I’ll sleep on the floor.” Marlene rolled her eyes, there he went with that fucking chivalry again, but he was being ridiculous. She wasn’t going to kick him out of his own bed. Anyway, Sirius might have a different girl every week, but he was a genuinely good guy, she knew that she had nothing to fear sleeping next to him, she trusted him completely. Plus, and she tried desperately to keep herself from blushing at the thought, she wanted to share the bed with him, she wanted to sleep next to him.

“It’s a big bed, we can share. I trust you…can I borrow a t-shirt or something?” Sirius crossed to the room to a chest of draws and threw one to her. She looked down at it, a T. Rex concert t-shirt; she was sure his parents _loved_ that he listened to Muggle music. Marlene turned her back on him, took off her top and bra and pulled it on, before shimmying out of her shorts…she thought she might have been able to feel his eyes on her and bit back a smile. Marlene sat on the end of the bed to unfasten her shoes and she watched out of the corner of her eye as he pulled back the covers.

“I’ll get the light.” He murmured as she climbed into bed, he waved his wand at the ceiling and the room went dark. She could feel Sirius shifting around as he lay down beside her, and then all she could hear was his breathing, and the deafening silence of the other each stealing to say something. She fidgeted slightly and felt the warm skin of his arm against hers, he still smelt of suncream. Her heart was pounding, which was ridiculous, they’d been alone together before...but never like this. Never in bed together, wearing so little, in a darkness that would keep their secrets. Sirius was so quiet that Marlene thought he might have fallen asleep. She didn’t know how she’d be able to manage that, not when her mind was racing faster than her heart. She shuffled closer to him.

It had been such a perfect day.

She was going to leave it to chance, like flipping a coin. If he was awake then she would kiss him. If he was asleep then she would call it, let him go back to his girls of the week and she would try to find someone that would never quite be Sirius Black.

“Sirius?” She asked, turning on her side.

Nothing. And then, “yeah?” He said. And she kissed him, missing his mouth and first and catching his chin, but she felt her way in the darkness. She gripped the front of his pyjama top and he slid his arm round her back, pulling her body against his. Every inch of her had come alive. The moment seemed to last a thousand years, when she eventually pulled away her whole body seemed to ache for him. He slid his hand down to her hip and kissed her again, softer this time.

It had been the perfect day.


	138. 5th July 1976

It took Marlene a second to remember where she was when she opened her eyes that morning, then the previous night came blissfully flooding back. She could feel Sirius’s arm draped around her waist and she rolled over, trying not to disturb him. He was still asleep, and it stuck her just how beautiful he was. Marlene placed a kiss on his against his jaw and carefully slid out of bed. She grabbed her handbag and settled herself down on the window seat to read her book.

“Morning.” Sirius eventually said, stretching his arms up above his head.

“Morning.” She put the book back in her bag and crossed to the bed, sitting beside his feet.

“You brought a book? Remus have you been at the Polyjuice?” He teased, sitting forwards. He took gentle hold of her chin and moved her head slightly to each side.

“Just incase you started to bore me.” She grinned. “It’s a very good book. I borrowed it from Lily.”

“What’s it about?” He asked curiously.

“About a handsome young man with a magic painting of himself that ages so he can stay young.” She explained. “Where’s your bathroom?” She’d needed to go since she’d woken up, but he looked so peaceful, she hadn’t wanted to wake him.

“There’s one though the next door along.” He said. Marlene hurried from the room. When she returned he was tucking his wand into his pyjamas. “Do you want any breakfast or anything?”

“I could murder a cup of tea.” She said, pulling on her shorts. As they headed back down through the house she slipped her hand in his, delighted when he didn’t pull away. 

“Sirius!” The voice echoed from the dining room as they walked along the hallway, and Marlene realised that it must be his mother. “Where did you go yesterday?”

“Regent’s Park.” He said. “Kicked a football around with these Muggle boys I know.” Marlene resisted the urge to look at him, he was lying and she didn’t want it to seem like the story was news to her.

“You disgust me.” Mrs Black spat. Marlene felt hatred ripple through her, this woman had starved and imprisoned her own child! 

“It’s nothing to the disgust I feel for you.” Sirius hissed. Marlene saw Mrs Black’s hand twitch, she supposed that she shouldn't be surprised that she’d curse her own son. She hadn’t even thought to bring her wand down with her. 

“Who are you?” Mrs Black snapped turning her attention sharply to Marlene, glancing at her hand still in Sirius’s.

Marlene drew herself up. “Marlene McKinnon.” She said proudly. 

“Are you pure-blood?”

“I’m Muggle-born.” Marlene lied, fighting the smirk that was trying to force its way across her lips. Mrs Black’s face turned white and then red.

“Mudblood filth! Get out of my house!” Mrs Black screeched, drawing her wand. Sirius pulled out his own and darted in front of Marlene before she could even react. Her wand went off with a bang and Sirius flew backwards. Marlene dived to the side and his head hit the thin hallway table. The crack it made rolled her stomach. She moved between them, if his mother wanted to attack him again she’d have to blast her out of the way to do it. She had no doubt that she would, but if Marlene could buy Sirius some time to get up then that was what mattered. She could hear movement behind her — at least he was awake, alive — and he grabbed her hand, pulling her back towards the stairs.

“You’re bleeding.” Marlene whispered, as he kicked his bedroom door closed behind them. Sirius touched the back of his head, wincing. Blood was running from the wound, down his neck and onto his shirt. “I’m so sorry, that was my fault I was trying to piss her off.”

“It’s not your fault.” He muttered, opening his trunk and starting to toss things in.

“What are you doing?”

“Leaving, I’m done with their shit, I’m not having another summer like this. Now grab a bag and start packing it.”

“Where will you go?” She asked pulling off his shirt and throwing it into the trunk. She looked around the room for the rest of her clothes and dressed quickly. 

“I’ll stay with James for a few days, until I can figure something out.” He said, changing into jeans and a t-shirt and pulling on his trainers.

“The Potters’ will keep you. That’s just who they are.” Marlene said fondly. Mr and Mrs Potter would take one look at his head and that would be it, Sirius would be their son. He’d get to have a family that loved him. 

Ten minutes later they were dragging his trunk and bags out of the front door while his mother screamed at them from the hall. Sirius threw out his right arm and a the Knight Bus came hurtling round the corner of Grimmauld Place. “One, Broad Lane, Yate.” He said, cutting off the conductor’s introduction. He and Marlene heaved his trunk on and sat down. She took some tissue from her handbag and pressed it against the back of his head.

“Mrs Potter will heal it up in no time.” Marlene murmured, she was good at healing cuts and bruises. 

“It’s nothing.” He muttered.

“It’s not nothing.” Marlene said, her voice catching in her throat. How could he say that, how could he say that this was nothing?

They reached James’s house and Marlene asked the driver to wait for a couple of minutes while she helped him with his trunk as she needed to return to London.

“What happened to you?” James asked when he answered the door.

“His mother.” Marlene said sharply and James’s eyes flashed.

“It’s nothing. I’ve left, I need somewhere to stay for a few days.” Sirius said as Marlene and James carried his trunk and bags over the threshold.

“I’ll see you soon.” Marlene said, kissing him softly. “Look after him.” She added to James.

Sirius leant against the wall of the Potters house, still pressing the tissue that Marlene had given him to the back of his head. As he watched the Knight Bus drive away, he touched his other hand to his lips. Marlene had kissed him…again. Well, they’d kissed several times last night, but that had been in the dark. She could just as easily have pretended that it had never happened. This new kiss had been different than those of the night before, soft and gentle, lasting no more than a fraction of a second. But she had done it in front of James. That had to mean something.

“Marlene kissed you?” James said, it sounded like an accusation. Sirius rolled his eyes.

“I’ve run away from home with a gushing head wound and you’re asking about Marlene?” Sirius muttered, stepping past him into the house. Sirius wasn’t surprised; James loved Marlene, quite possibly, more than he loved anyone else in the world.

“Mum!” James shouted, grabbing hold of Sirius’s elbow as he swayed slightly on the spot, and led him into the kitchen. Mrs Potter came in through the patio doors and dropped the washing basket.

“Oh my goodness! Sirius, what happened?” She disappeared from view as James helped him onto a stool at the kitchen island. He could hear her rooting around for something in the cupboards.

“My mother.” Sirius muttered bitterly. “So I’ve left, for good. Could I stay here for a few days— ouch—” She started to dab something onto his cut.

“I’m sorry, dear.” She said softly. Her hands were so gentle, why couldn’t he have a mother like Mrs Potter?

“I won’t be any—ouch—trouble. You won’t even know that I’m here.” Sirius said, trying not to sound as desperate as he felt.

“You can stay here as long as you need, it’s no trouble at all.” Mrs Potter said kindly. He felt something warm against the back of his head and reached up to check, the wound was healed. Mrs Potter kissed the top of his head and he swallowed, his throat feeling tight.

“Thank you.” He murmured, his eyes burning, he didn’t know what else to say.

“James, take him in to the living room. I’ll bring you a cup of tea.”

Sirius let James help him to the sofa, he could feel the question vibrating off of him. “You and Marlene?” He asked, as soon as Sirius lay down.

“I don’t know.” Sirius admitted. He closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. She’d kissed him…twice…more than twice. And he was in love with her, completely, head-over-heels-never-wanted-to-be-with-another-girl-again in love with her. But he was worried if he came out and said that, he might scare her off…it was too much, too soon.

“What do you mean, you don’t know? I swear, Padfoot, if you’re leading her on, or messing—” James snapped.

“I’m not.” Sirius said bluntly, cutting him off. He couldn’t blame James, he hardly had the best track record with girls…his ‘string of girlfriends’ as Marlene liked to put it.

“Don’t you dare hurt her, she’s been through enough.” James added. “You and me will be done, and I’ll definitely hit you.”

Sirius laughed. Not because he didn’t believe him…he doubted James had ever been more serious about anything in his life, but because it was just so James. Marlene McKinnon’s greatest defender. “I would never.” He opened his eyes, James was still watching him.

“So what happened?” James asked. Sirius shrugged, he wasn’t sure he wanted to share it with anyone. But this was James.

“I brought her back to mine, and we were lying there in the dark, and she kissed me— I swear, I wasn’t going to try anything.” He added at the look on James’s face. “She kissed me. Then this morning she lied to my dear mother, told her she was Muggle-born…just to piss her off. Gaping head wound—” He gestured at his head. “—we pack up my stuff, and you know the rest.”

“I saw this coming.” James said.

“How? You’re blind.” Sirius snorted and James threw a cushion at him. “Alright, enlighten me. When did you see this coming?”

“Second year. After that first Quidditch match. She snuggled right into that jumper you gave her when you weren’t looking…don’t ever tell her I told you that.” James added quickly. Sirius grinned.


	139. 5th July 1976 .II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all, I'm sorry that my chapters haven't consistently been daily lately, I've not been well, but I'm trying to post them as often as possible.

_James,  
Don’t be mad_.

Marlene wrote, then screwed up the parchment and took a fresh piece. She didn’t care if James was mad — not really — it was just that Sirius was his best friend, he might take it as a betrayal. Second best friend…she was his best friend. And anyway, how mad could he be? Sirius was a massive improvement on Craig Platt.

_James,  
I don’t know what it means, or if it means anything at all…or if he even feels the same way—_

This was so much harder in a letter. In person she could just blurt out that she’d kissed Sirius Black.

“Marlene! Lily’s here!” Her dad called. Marlene put down her quill and hurried down the stairs, taking them two at a time. She could tell Lily, that would keep her going until she next saw James.

“Lily!” She said, pulling her into a hug. It was going to be so nice having her stay for the whole summer. It would be a little cramped towards the end when Jeremy got back and Nicole had to return to their room, but they’d make it work. She picked up one end of her trunk. “I’ll help you take this upstairs.” She said. Lily looked at her a little confused, but picked the other end up all the same. Together they heaved it up.

“I could have just sent it up there!” Gordon called.

“It’s fine, Dad!” Marlene shouted back.

“What’s the rush?” Lily asked, as Marlene closed the bedroom door behind them, locking it so Nicole couldn’t just burst in; she was always afraid that she was missing out on something.

“Okay, before you say something like ‘ _Marley_ ’ just remember that you suggested I do this…sort of.” Marlene sitting down on the bed.

“What did you do?” Lily asked, sitting opposite on Nicole’s bed.

“I kissed Sirius.” Marlene said, unable to stop herself beaming as she spoke. _She’d kissed Sirius_.

“ _Marley_.” Lily sighed, seemingly before she could stop herself. “Are you sure about this?”

“You _told_ me to ask out Sirius Black.” Marlene pointed out. Lily was not going to bring her down. “You actually told me to.”

“Yeah, when you were with Craig, who turned out to be an even bigger monster than the first time you went out with him.” Lily muttered. “I’d have told you to ask out anyone to get you to break up with him. You asked Black out then?”

“Well, no.” Marlene admitted. “I sort of started a fight with his mother and he’s run away from home…it hardly felt like the best time, I don’t know…he’s got a lot on his mind.”

“Well, he’s probably gone through about four different girls since then—”

“Lily!” Marlene snapped, and Lily did at least have the decency to look remorseful. “He’s not like that…well, okay, he’s a little bit like that…well a lot like that.” Marlene bit her lip. She wasn’t worried that if she went out with Sirius that he would cheat on her, not really, but they _weren’t_ together. The thought of him with other girls made her feel sick.

“No he’s not.” Lily conceded. “He likes you so much Marley…and I _suppose_ he’s not so bad. He certainly has his moments.” Marlene leaned forward and pressed her hand to Lily’s forehead, and Lily swatted it away.

“I was just checking you were feeling alright.” Marlene grinned.

“You’re such a child sometimes.” Lily said, rolling her eyes and letting Gary out of his carrier.

“Want me to beat Snivellus up for you?” Marlene offered, she was smiling but she did mean it.

“Marlene—”

“Want me to ask James to?” 

“Marlene, stop it—” 

“Because he would, you know. He really likes you. I mean, it helps that he really hates Snivellus.” Marlene said, scooping Gary up and scratching him behind the ears.

“Yeah I know.” Lily sighed, but she was smiling.


	140. 7th July 1976

Remus was dreading what he would come home to after he left his grandparents that afternoon. They’d said that his parents were fine, but he was shocked to see them waiting for him at Kings Cross. He couldn’t help thinking the worst, his mother had been so ill last time he’d seen her. It seemed to take him an age to walk from the bus stop. His road had never felt so long. His mother’s car was parked outside, that was promising. He unlocked the door with a shaking had, letting himself in. 

“Hello?” He called out, dragging his trunk along the hallway. 

“In the garden!” Hope replied. Remus felt his heart speed up. She was out of bed, she sounded like her old self, well, more her old self than she had all year. He dropped the end of his trunk and tore through the house and out through the back door. His parent’s were siting on the bench at the end of the garden, enjoying the sun. His mother looked so healthy, she was still thin but more like she used to be. Her face was fuller and her hair shiny once more. “Darling!” She beamed. “Did you have a good term?” 

“Mum?” Remus asked, hardly daring to believe what he was seeing. “You’re alright.”

“Of course I am sweetheart—” Remus flung himself at her, wrapping his arms tightly around her neck. “Oh my lovely boy.” She said, rubbing his back. “Go and make us a cup of tea and you can tell me all about school.” 

Remus hurried back inside and busied himself in the kitchen. His mum was alright. She was healthy, and up and about. He had his mum back. He carried the tea pot and cups out on a tray; his father and waved over a table and chair and Remus set down the tea. “There you go.” He said, pouring her a cup and adding milk and sugar.

“So how did your exams go?” Lyall asked, pouring his own drink. 

“I think I did okay.” Remus shrugged. “There were a fair few questions on werewolves in the Defence Against the Dark Arts exam that I think I aced.” He added with a grin.

“I always liked the sound of Charms.” Hope said, gently massaging the back of Lyall’s neck. 

“Charms is always fun. Lots of practical lessons, James and Sirius mess around a lot though, but James in particular is really good at it.” 

“And how did you do in Potions—” Hope broke off, her eyes glazing over for a moment and her cup shaking so much in her hand that tea spilled over the sides and onto her lap. “Lyall, who’s that? I don’t want visitors, I told you that I don’t want visitors!” 

“Mum—”

“Lyall, make him leave!” She demanded, the tea cup dropping to the grass as she got up from the bench and backed away. Lyall followed her, grabbing hold of Hope’s shoulders. 

“Hope, it’s Remus. You remember Remus…our son.” Lyall said gently. Remus understood. He’d tried to modify her memory and fucked it up. This was why she was fine… and this was why she was now looking at him like he was a total stranger. “She’ll snap out of it in a minute.” Lyall told him, looking back over his shoulder. “It doesn’t last, I promise it doesn’t last.”

“How could you?” Remus snarled.


	141. 9th July 1976

Lily wasn’t so sure about the director at this dance school, and even less sure about the other dancers, but they’d invited her on a night out so she supposed that was nice of them. She wasn’t drunk… okay she was a little drunk, and if she didn’t go home now there was no way she’d be in any fit state to dance tomorrow. 

“I’m going to go!” She told one of the dancers over the loud music, tapping him on the shoulder as he chatted up a girl he’d met when they’d got to the club. Raymond shrugged and turned back to the girl. 

As she sat on the underground, she pulled off one of Marlene’s shoes and rubbed her poor feet; she should have worn flats to rest them. Checking the departures at Victoria, and realising just how late it actually was, she ran towards her platform and jumped on the last train to Wallington. As she took her seat it occurred to her that she could have just gone to The Leaky Cauldron and taken floo powder back to the McKinnons. Maybe she’d have thought of it if she’d had a few less martinis circling around her system. 

It took a lot of effort not to doze off against the window, every so often she’d walk the length of the carriage to try and keep herself awake. What she’d give to know how to apparate. The voice over the tannoy announced their arrival at Wallington and Lily stumbled out onto the platform. In fifteen minutes she could tuck herself up in bed.

As she was about to turn onto the main road, Lily heard a scream from the building site next door. Hesitating for just a moment while she tried to decide what to do, she reached behind her and drew her wand from where she’d tucked it down the back of her dress, and slid the metal fencing out of the way. 

Cursing the noise that her heels were making along the floor she slipped them off, and stooped to pick the up. Rounding a corner she saw the billowing of a black cloak and a man cowering on the floor. “ _Avada Kedavra!_ ” Laughed the Death Eater. There was a flash of green light and the man fell still. Lily clamped her hang over her mouth and flattened herself against the wall, breathing hard. She needed help. She was outnumbered two to one, and she was sixteen! 

Okay, Patronus. Marlene had taught her how…so she’d only managed it once, but she could do it now. She probably only had one shot, as soon as the Death Eaters heard her…

It was James that had worked last time, as loath as she was to admit it. Dancing with him on her birthday. He’d been so terrible, and she’d laughed so hard as he’d spun her around. But her breath had caught as he pulled her close. She could have kissed him then, she should have kissed him. “ _Expecto Patronum_.” The doe shot from her wand. She’d told it to get Moody, told it where she was, and it had darted away, leaving her alone to face her fate. 

“Hello.” She could hear the smile in the Death Eater’s voice and she turned. 

“ _Stupify!_ ” She shouted, but the Death Eater dived out of the way.

“ _Expelliarmus!_ ” The other sent her wand flying from her grasp and it landed four feet away, useless to her. She was going to die. 

“Hang on, I recognise her.” Said the first Death Eater. She recognised his voice, but with his mask on she had no idea why he sounded familiar. “She’s Severus’s little Mudblood girlfriend.” Well, the fact that they knew Severus was confirmation of what he’d become.

“Severus and a Mudblood?” Asked the other, he sounded older. “Disgusting.” 

“ _Crucio!_ ” 

Lily crumpled, screaming. It was pain like she had never imagined. Terrible pain, she wanted to die. At least if she was dead she would no longer have to feel this, no longer have to feel anything. Again and again they hit her with the curse. She couldn’t think, she couldn’t move. All she knew was this never ending agony. 

She didn’t know how long it lasted. Time didn’t seem to matter anymore. It felt like years. And then jets of light shot across her vision, shouts of Aurors, the popping of disappartition. Moody’s face loomed over hers. It looked more scarred than it used to be. And he was helping her to her feet.

“I’m fine.” She choked. It was a lie, she wasn’t fine. “I’m fine. Sorry I used magic.” Her voice sounded so far away. 

“Let me take you home.” She vaguely heard him say and she shook her head. She didn’t want a fuss. She didn’t want to worry the McKinnons.

“It’s just round the corner. I’m okay.” She said pushing him away, and picking up her wand and Marlene’s shoes. She staggered from the building site and she heard him tell Alice Fortescue to follow her. She kept her distance, thankfully. Lily didn’t have it in her to make conversation. It didn’t occur to her until she was at the end of the McKinnons' road that she’d walked it barefoot. What did it matter?

“Let me come in with you.” Alice said, she was right behind her now. Lily shook her head. She let herself in and closed the door quickly in Alice’s face. It was rude, but right now she didn’t give a shit. She dropped the shoes in the hallway and crossed to the living room, she didn’t want to risk waking anyone up by going upstairs. She’d sleep on the sofa. The lamp in the corner was lit and she jumped at the sight of James asleep on one of the sofas. He looked so sweet, so peaceful. There was a small smile on his lips, she wondered if he was dreaming about something nice. She hoped that he was. His t-shirt was draped over the back of the sofa and she carefully leant over him to grab it, pressing the fabric to her face. How did he always smell so good?

Lily stepped out of her dress, took off her bra, and pulled his t-shirt on, hoping that he wouldn’t mind. She took one last look at him before putting out the light and curling up on the other sofa and pulling the blanket down on top of her. A sob rippled its way up her throat and she pressed her face into a cushion. She didn’t want to wake James up but she couldn’t stop the cries that were currently shaking her whole body.


	142. 10th July 1976

James was woken by Nicole colliding with him. He grunted and opened his eyes. “You’re eleven, Nik Nak, you’re too old for this.” He muttered grumpily, pushing her away. He pulled his jeans on over his boxers from inside his sleeping bag and sat up, running a hand through his hair. “Where’s my glasses?” He asked her slightly blurred form. She handed them over and he put them on, yawning. “Did you steal my shirt?” He accused, noticing it wasn’t on the back of the sofa. 

“Nope.” Nicole grinned. “Lily is wearing it.” 

James shot up from the sofa and hurried through to the kitchen. Lily had her back to him, leaning against a kitchen counter with, her dark red hair hanging loose down her back and her bare legs sticking out from the bottom of his t-shirt. James swallowed. It should be a crime for her to look like that. She turned to face him.

“Morning, James.” She smiled, but it didn’t meet her eyes.

“What’s wrong?” He asked quickly.

“Nothing, I’m fine.” She said. She was lying, he could tell that she was lying. “Do you want a cup of tea?” 

“I…yeah, alright then. Thanks.” He said. “What ever’s wrong, you can talk to me, you know that right?”

Lily seemed to consider him for a moment, and he was sure that she was going to tell him. But she just nodded. “I know I can. But I’m okay.” She wasn’t, her eyes were red, she’d been crying. And there was something off in her expression, in the way she was moving. 

“You’re wearing my shirt.” He accused, trying to keep his tone light, not wanting to give away the places that his imagination was currently trying to take him. He saw her cheeks turn slightly pink as she poured him some tea from the pot.

“Yeah, sorry. I hope you don’t mind.” She said. “I got home really late last night, I didn’t want to wake Marley and Nicole up by going upstairs to bed. You can have it back in a minute, I’ll have to go up there and get dressed for ballet class. Sirius beat me to the bathroom.” 

“I don’t mind.” James said. He _really_ didn’t mind. “Why do you have class on a Saturday?”

“It’s just the morning, I’ll be back this afternoon…though you might have gone home by then.” She shrugged. He and Sirius had been planning to go home this morning, now he was seriously considering sticking around a bit longer. 

“Have you had breakfast? I can make you something?” James asked, opening the cupboards and looking for cereal, not that cereal really constituted ‘making something.’ 

“I’m not hungry.” Lily said, handing him his tea. His fingers brushed against hers as he took the cup. She was looking up at him, she was so close. He could just lean down and kiss her. Press her against the kitchen counter and kiss her. They heard the bathroom door open above them and she stepped back.

“That’s my cue.” She smirked, stepping around him and leaving the kitchen. Honestly, he could have punched Sirius.


	143. 10th July 1976 .II

Sirius still hadn’t unpacked his things in his new bedroom at the Potters. He was finding it hard to believe that Mr and Mrs Potter weren’t going to send him back. They’d said this was home for as long as he needed it; Marlene had insisted that the Potters would keep him, and yet… 

It had been five days and he was still living out of his trunk. 

If he could just take up as little space as possible, cause as little trouble and mess as he could, then maybe they would just forget that he was here. 

Mr Potter’s office door was ajar as Sirius walked down the landing. He knocked and Mr Potter looked up. “Can I make you a cup of tea or anything, Mr Potter?” He asked.

“You don’t have to call me Mr Potter, Fleamont, or Monty will do just fine.” He said, running his hand through his hair in a way that reminded Sirius very much of James. Sirius shook his head. He wanted to be respectful, and anyway, the McKinnon children called them Mr and Mrs Potter. “I would love a cup of tea. Dash of milk and one sugar.” 

“Just like James.” Sirius grinned. He went down to the kitchen and James was lounging on the sofa at the far end of the room, playing with his Snitch.

“Make us one?” He asked, catching sight of Sirius filling the kettle. “Did Evans seem alright to you this afternoon?”

Sirius resisted the urge to roll his eyes, after all, James let him talk himself hoarse about Marlene. “Yeah, she seemed fine. Why?”

“I dunno. I thought there was something off about her, this morning too… you don’t think something happened to her do you?” James frowned. The Snitch slipped from his fingers and Sirius quickly closed the kitchen door and slammed the window shut before it could make a real break for it.

“Like what?” Sirius asked, carrying the cup over for him and setting it on the side table.

“I don’t know… What if Snivellus did something to her before she left?” 

“Wouldn’t put it past the greasy git.” Sirius muttered. “Have you asked her what’s wrong?”

“She said she’s fine.” James said, sitting up and running his hand through his hair. “She probably is.” He added, a little more confidently this time. “Thanks for the tea.”

“Right, well before you drink it, can you catch your fucking Snitch so I can take this one up to your dad?” Sirius asked as he watched the Snitch bash up against the kitchen door, trying to escape to the rest of the house.

“Sure, if you go and unpack.” James grinned. Sirius glared at him. He didn’t understand, he had always been loved. Eventually Mr and Mrs Potter would surely see whatever it had been in him that had made his parents so unable to want him, and he’d have to move on again. 

“You don’t get it Prongs.” He mumbled, suddenly finding it very hard to look at him. “I’m only going to have to pack it all up again.”

“You’re being ridiculous, Padfoot.” James said. “You’re here to stay, alright. Mum and dad won’t ever make you go back to those monsters.”


	144. 26th July 1976

Lyall had been right, whatever that moment was that Hope’d had did pass. But it had now happened four times, and Remus couldn’t stand to be in the same room as his father. It didn’t matter how well Lyall had meant, Hope kept forgetting who he was. 

“Remus.” Lyall said, knocking on his door. 

“Go away.” He muttered, but Lyall opened the door anyway. Remus didn’t look up from his book. 

“I’ve got to go back to work today, so I need you to look after your mum.” Lyall said.

“Does she know who I am?” Remus asked coldly. She’d started throwing everything she could reach at the ‘stanger’ in her house the last time her memory had slipped. Remus didn’t blame her of course. 

“Don’t be like that—” 

Remus slammed his book closed and jumped to his feet. Really, how had his father expected him to react?

“Tell me something, did she ask you to modify her memory or did you decide that for her?” 

“Remus, you don’t understand what it was like—”

“You can’t just do that to someone, and apparently _you_ really can’t, cause you fucked it up.” Remus spat. Anger flashed across Lyall’s face but he seemed to stamp it down. 

“I’m not having this argument with you, Remus, I have to go to work. Your mother is healthier than she has been all year.” Lyall sighed, turning and closing his bedroom door on him. Remus flung himself down on the bed. He loved his dad, but right now he really fucking hated him. 

When he eventually joined his mother downstairs, he hovered at the kitchen door, watching her stir a wooden spoon in a mixing bowl. “Hi Mum.” He said tentatively, he’d been walking around on eggshells all summer, not knowing from one moment to the next if his mother was going to know who he was. He desperately want to ask her about the memory charm, but of course, she wouldn’t remember. There had to have been a better way, something else the could have done, some other help they could have gotten her. How could his father have done this? Hope had begged Remus not to let him and he hadn’t been able to protect her.

“Morning sweetheart.” Hope smiled, looking around at him, and Remus felt himself relax. “Want to give me a hand?” Remus joined her at the kitchen counter, she had a recipe for a Battenberg cake open in her cookbook. 

“Sure.” He said, reaching into the bowl to taste some of the cake mix and dodging as she tried to whack his hand with the spoon. 

“Stop that, you can lick the bowl when I’m done.” Hope laughed. She was laughing, and happy, and his mum again, and Remus could have burst into tears. He had to make the most of it. 

Hope was still herself when Lyall returned from work. She had suggested that they go out for the day, but Remus had been worried that she’d be driving and suddenly forget where she was. It had been a wonderful day though, they’d sat in the garden with a picnic lunch, just like they used to do when Remus had been a child. He was terrified of going back to school, what if she forgot him completely?


	145. 14th August 1976

Lily wasn’t doing well, it was easier during the day, when she was at ballet class, or surrounded by the McKinnons and their bickering. But at night, when Marlene and Nicole had fallen asleep, she was left alone with her thoughts. 

“Marley, I’m sick of sleeping on the floor.” Nicole whined from I between the two single beds. Lily felt a twinge guilt, Nicole’d had to give up her bed for Lily at the start of summer.

“Oh please, you’re hardly on the floor, you’re on the fold out mattress chair.” Marlene said, and Lily could almost hear the eye roll.

“Do you to switch Nicole—”

“No, Lily, you’re a guest, you’re not sleeping on the floor.” Marlene said quickly.

“I thought you said it wasn’t the floor.” Nicole said smugly. Lily grinned, Nicole had her there. 

“Oh shut up.” Marlene muttered. 

“Can I sleep in with you, Marley?” 

“No, you sleep like a starfish, last time we shared a bed you rolled over in your sleep and punched me in the face.” Marlene said. 

“I did not, Lily don’t listen to her she’s a liar—”

“I had a black eye, Nicki!” Marlene laughed. Lily had been about to offer to share her bed with Nicole but now she wasn’t going to. 

“I’m going to the Potters tomorrow to spend the rest of the summer there, they have loads of room.” Nicole said. 

“You hear that, Lily, we’re going to have peace and quiet!” Marlene smirked. 

“You won’t be laughing when I steal Sirius from you—”

“Nicole, please, you’re five years old, he has no interest in you. Go to sleep.” Marlene said, and Lily laughed. The idea that that anyone could steal Sirius from Marlene was hilarious.

“I’m eleven!” Nicole snapped, there was a thud and Lily could only assume that Nicole had thrown something at her sister. The two girls fell silent and Lily really wished that they wouldn’t. She hadn’t told anyone about that night…and it wasn’t something that she was going to blurt out in front of Nicole. But when they were sniping at each other, she could push it aside, not have to dwell. 

Every time Lily closed her eyes she could see the flash of green light. They had murdered someone right in front of her. She didn’t even know who it was, she’d avoided the paper; thrown the letter from Moody in the fire.

She shouldn’t have, she should have at least asked the name of the man that had been murdered in front of her. Yet, part of her didn’t want to know. It would make it too real. She should have been killed too, if they hadn’t wanted to play with her first she would have been. She had known one of those Death Eaters, she had recognised his voice, but she didn’t know where from, and that terrified her more than anything. 

How was she supposed to tell Marlene about this? Especially when she had been pretending that everything was fine. That she was fine. She should have told James that morning, he had been able to tell that something was wrong, and he would have understand, they’d had their differences over the years but James would have understood.

When she was sure that Marlene and Nicole had fallen asleep, Lily slipped out of bed, picked up her ballet shoes and sewing kit, and snuck downstairs. She wasn’t sleeping well, so what was the point of trying.

“You’re up late.” Lily jumped at the sound of Beatrice McKinnon’s voice. She was sat at the dining room table, paperwork set out in front of her.

“I can’t sleep.” Lily mumbled, she’d wanted to be alone. 

“Come and sit down, I want to talk to you.” Beatrice said, it wasn’t a question so Lily crossed through and sat opposite her at the table. “How are you?” 

“I’m okay.” Lily said, picking at the frayed ribbon of her shoe. Beatrice got up and moved to sit beside her. 

“Really? Because Alastor Moody came down to my office today.” Beatrice said quietly, Lily made a noncommittal noice but didn’t look up. “He told me that you were tortured by Death Eaters?”

“I’m alright.” Lily mumbled, glancing up she could see that Beatrice’s eyebrows were raised in disbelief. “I am, really, that’s why I haven’t told anyone.” 

“Oh sweetheart, you haven’t even told your parents? I know if it was one of my children, I’d want to know.” Beatrice sighed, cupping her chin.

“They wouldn’t understand, they don’t know how bad it is for… for people like me.” Lily whispered. “They’d just get scared.” 

“Oh sweetheart.” Beatrice said again, brushing away a tear that had spilled out on to Lily’s cheek. Lily flapped her hands and wiped her eyes, she hadn’t wanted to cry. 

“I’m sorry.” She mumbled, as Beatrice tucked her hair behind her ear. “I’ll be okay.”

“You don’t have anything to apologise for. Even if you don’t want to tell your parents, you can always talk to me or Gordon. Even if you just want a hug.” 

“That’s really sweet of you.” Lily mumbled, trying to swallow down the lump that had risen in her throat. “Don’t tell Marlene… I will tell her, I just don’t want to talk about it yet and she’s going to worry.” Marlene thought everything was fine and she had so many good things going on for her, she was having such a good summer, and Lily didn’t want to ruin things for her. 

“If you’re not sleeping well, you should talk to someone, it doesn’t have to be me.” Beatrice said, wiping away another one of her tears. 

“I’m alright, I usually sleep fine.” Lily said, but this was a lie, she’d been sleeping terribly. “Do you mind if I sit up for a bit and put new ribbons on my shoes? I can go back upstairs if you’re busy working.” 

“Don’t be silly, of course you can.” Beatrice smiled, giving Lily a one armed hug, but Lily couldn’t bring herself to relax into it. “Just keep in mind what I said, okay?” Lily nodded and Beatrice got back up and returned to her work.


	146. 1st September 1976

Marlene supposed that she, Lily, and Nicole must look quite a strange sight to the Muggles on the Victoria line, with a cat, an owl, and three trunks. It hadn’t been as bad on the train, they’d had the luggage racks, but the underground didn’t have that luxury. Once in Kings Cross station Nicole began to fret over getting on to the platform — it was as though she hadn’t been to see Jeremy and Marlene off every year — and Lily kindly answered all of her questions. It completely ruined Marlene’s idea to tell her that the train now left from platform three and a half and watch her run headlong into a brick wall.

“And you wonder why you were never made a prefect?” Lily muttered as she recounted this plan while they followed Nicole onto the platform. “It would be just our luck for them to have opened the platform, she might’ve ended up on a train to France or something.” Marlene tried not to laugh at the idea, her parents would kill her.

Marlene spotted Sirius a little further down the platform with James and Mr and Mrs Potter. She smiled at him and he hurried over. “Your parents not here?” He asked, looking around.

“No, they had to work.” She said, barely finishing the sentence before Sirius pulled her close and kissed her; one hand in her hair and the other on her lower back. She wondered whether he’d have waited until they’d got on the train if they had been there.

“Oh, hi Nicole.” Sirius grinned when Marlene had pulled away from him, and Nicole blushed scarlet and gave a small nod. She’d done nothing all summer but bombard Marlene with questions about him and now it was like she’d swallowed her tongue. “Do you want help putting your trunk on the train?

“Yes please.” She whispered.

“Oi! James!” He called waving him over. James strolled over and gave Nicole’s plait a gentle tug.

“Alright Nik Nak?” He asked. “Marley, Evans?”

“Hi James.” Nicole grinned as he and Sirius each took a side of her trunk and lifted it off the trolley, leading Nicole to the train.

“Lily, please can I talk to you?” They both turned as Snape appeared behind them.

“You should be fitted with a bell.” Marlene muttered.

“Let’s catch Potter up, see what compartment he’s found for us all.” Lily said, ignoring Snape.

“Don’t you have prefect duty? Marlene asked when they were out of earshot of him, and Lily just grinned.

“If you get lonely you can come and sit with us, we’re just in the next carriage.” She heard Sirius say to Nicole. Marlene rolled her eyes. He and James jumped off of the train and lifted Lily and Marlene’s trunks on for them.

“I’ve never see you be so nice to a first year.” Marlene said, narrowing her eyes.

“Yeah, well, she’s your kid sister.” Sirius shrugged, flopping down onto the seat.

Marlene looked at her watch, they still had five minutes yet. “I’m just going to say hello to the Potters.” She said, jumping down from the train and weaving her way back down the platform. When she returned James was waiting for her outside the door to their carriage.

“Just so you know, I’ve warned Sirius that if he hurts you…” James punched his fist into the palm of his hand with a thwack. Marlene shoved him so hard and so suddenly that he stumbled back into an empty luggage trolley. “Marley! What the fuck was that for?”

“I don’t need you to protect me. You’re not my big brother, in fact I’ve got almost two months on you. I can take care of myself.” She said, holding out her hand to help him back up.

“Look, Marlene, you’re my sister.” He said in a matter-of-fact voice. “You’ve always been my sister, and you always will be my sister. I’m going to have your back, just like you’ve had mine.”


	147. 5th September 1976

To Lily’s relief, settling back into school had been a welcome distraction. She’d been so busy, and been surrounded by so many people, that she’d found little time to dwell on what had happened at the start of summer. 

“Lily can you go over the Potions essay I wrote yesterday?” Dorcas asked. “I know it’s Sunday but I want to start the year off well.”

“Yeah, come on then.” Lily said, pushing her empty soup bowl aside and getting up. She had no idea if Moody had told Dorcas about what had happened to her, if he had then Dorcas had seemed to decide not to push the subject. She was grateful of that. They left the Great Hall and the two girls climbed the marble staircase. 

“Lily! Please can I talk to you?” She could hear Severus chasing after them and she sighed. She’d noticed him hovering since they’d got back but she was always accompanied by Marlene, or James and Sirius, and she supposed Severus wasn’t brave enough to try and get her alone then. Dorcas must feel like a more neutral option to him. “Please, I know what happened.” 

Lily felt as though she’d walked straight into a wall, she froze for a moment, blood roaring in her ears before she rounded on him. “Because you know who it was! Who ever they were, they’re friends of yours! How can you claim to care about me and be friends with—” She broke off, she didn’t want to talk about this with him. 

“I’m sorry that happened to you.” Severus mumbled, he looked hurt that she’d shouted at him. It was pathetic.

“I don’t believe you, Severus.” She sighed, he didn’t seem sorry that she’d gotten hurt, he seemed more upset that she’d cut him out.

“You know it wouldn’t have happened if you’d stayed at home this summer, if you’d spent it with me instead of McKinnon and Potter and who ever else you were—”

“Can you hear yourself? In your mind this is all about you! If you’re so sorry, then tell me who it was under those masks?” Lily demanded, from the corner of her eye she could see Dorcas draw her wand and she moved in front of her. The last thing she wanted was the two of them to start firing spells at each other and bring people running. 

“I can’t, Lily.” He muttered, not able to meet her eyes. Lily shrugged. She hadn’t expected him to. 

“You’re clearly not actually sorry.” She said. “Marlene was right about you, she’s been telling me what you are for years and I didn’t want to see it— You know what, I’m not having this conversation with you again. It doesn’t get us anywhere. We’re done.” She said coldly, linking her arm through Dorcas’s and pulling her away. 

“Lily, please!” Severus begged, but Lily ignored him. Dorcas stopped her outside the portrait of the Fat Lady. 

“Moody told you didn’t he?” Lily asked.

“Yeah, he was worried about you and he knows that we’re friends.” Dorcas said gently. “Do you want to talk about it?” 

“No, it’s okay, really, it’s fine.” Lily sighed, it wasn’t completely a lie, she was able to push it aside, distract herself. “Just don't... just keep it to yourself, alright?”

“Of course I will.” Dorcas said, pulling her into a hug.


	148. 25th September 1976

James had gone looking for Lily after Quidditch practice, she’d been spending so much time with him since they’d gotten back to school. He didn’t know where it had come from, but he certainly wasn’t complaining. He found her in what looked like a dance studio opposite the tapestry of Barnabas the Barmy trying to teach trolls to dance the ballet. He didn’t know how he’d never noticed the room before. 

He stood in the doorway watching her leap and spin to the music, her hair flying around her. She was mesmerising. 

Then, as she landed on her foot, Lily stumbled. “Fuck.” She hissed, sitting down.

“You alright?” James asked, starting forwards. 

“I’m fine.” She muttered, glancing up at him. James didn’t believe her for a second. He watched as she undid the the ribbons of her ballet shoe and pulled it off with a wince. James recoiled, her foot was covered in blood. 

“Evans—”

“I’m fine, I’ve just been pushing myself too hard.” She said, poking gingerly at her toenail, and then, to James’s horror she lifted it right off and let out a small, heartbreaking cry of pain. His stomach rolled. “Are you scared of blood?” She asked.

“Not usually, but you just pulled your toenail off, doesn’t it sting?” James asked. As nauseous as it was making him, he couldn’t seem to look away.

“Like a bitch.” Lily muttered. James looked around the room, wishing that he had some Murtlap Essence, and as if the room had read his mind, it appeared on a shelf in the corner. James crossed the room, poured the potion in the bowl beside it and carried it back to Lily. 

“Here, put your foot in this.” He said, lifting her ankle.

“Thanks.” She sighed, resting her chin on her knee. 

“Please talk to me Lily.” He whispered, running his hand up to rest on her calf. “Something happened this summer, I could see it on your face.” 

She seemed to consider him for a moment. “I ran into some Death Eater’s on my way home.”

“Lily—” He whispered but she shook her head.

“They tortured me. I didn’t think it was ever going to end. I just desperately wanted them to finish me off, but they were having too much fun.” She murmured. There was something so heartbreaking in the monotony of her voice. “I watched them kill a man, I have no idea who he was… I don’t even think a want to know. I know, that must make me so sound like such a…” She trailed off and shrugged. 

“You don’t. You really don’t. I’m so sorry that happened to you.” Lily looked up at him, and then she was crying. James tried to pulled her to him. As he did she kicked the bowl and the Murtlap Essence spilled across the floor.

Eventually she pulled away and wiped her eyes with her hand. 

“Just don’t want you to see me any differently.” She mumbled.

“What do you mean?” James frowned. He couldn’t imagine a scenario where he wouldn’t see her as the most amazing person he’d ever met. 

“You fancy me James Potter. I like that you fancy me.”

“You know?” James spluttered, his face suddenly feeling mortifyingly warm. Though he supposed that he’d hardly been subtle.

“Severus mentioned it once or twice…well, seventy-three times, actually.” Lily grinned. 

“Well do you fancy me?” He sounded so desperately pathetic.

“Yes— But don’t you dare ask me out.” Lily added quickly. “I’m going to ask you out.”

James laughed, wishing that he face wasn’t so red, all the effort he put into trying to look cool in front of her… “Any idea when?”

“No.” Lily said simply, pulling her foot up to look at her toe. It hadn’t stopped bleeding.

“Can I go out with other girls while I wait?” James asked, unable to keep the frustrated edge out of his voice.

“Do you want to go out with other girls?”

“Well, no.” James admitted, he’d never even really considered it. He’d only ever had eyes for Lily.

“Then no, you can’t go out with other girls while you wait.”

“What if I had said that I do?” James asked. A playful smile pricked at the corner of Lily’s lips, and her eyes were sparkling, not from tears this time, but mischief.

“The answer would be the same.” She said quietly. James smiled, Lily wanted him to wait for her and he would. Of course he would. 

“Well, I look forward to you asking me out.” He beamed, getting to his feet and holding out his hand to help her up. “Let me take you to the hospital wing, I don’t know how to grow your nail back without making them all grow.”


	149. Note

Hi Guys,

I hate to do this to you, but I'm going to go on a bit of a break. My PhD thesis needs to be submitted in two weeks, and I've been trying to keep up with both but I'm really struggling right now.

If I do update this over the next fortnight it'll be sporadic. I really am sorry to do this, because I've prided myself on daily updates and I haven't been able to keep up with that lately.

I promise that I'll be back when I've submitted!! 

Love you all!


	150. 1st October 1976

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guys, I'm back! I have missed this fic, but I really needed the break, there was no way could have kept up with it while dealing with real life stuff. But I'm glad to be back!

Sirius returned to the common room after his detention with Professor Gilbert and only James, Remus, and Peter were still up. Remus had his nose in _Wuthering Heights_ and James and Peter were pouring over the map. Sirius frowned, he’d thought he’d finished drawing it, it was supposed to be ready for them to try and enchant, but here he was still adding things. 

“What’s going on?” Sirius asked, dropping down into and arm chair. 

“James is losing his mind.” Remus said matter of factly, turning a page. 

“I’m not losing my mind.” James snapped, running a hand through his hair. “Okay, maybe I’m losing my mind.” 

Sirius looked between them and took the map from James. “What do you mean, what’s happened?”

“There’s was a room, on the seventh floor, opposite that ballet tapestry— a dance studio, which makes sense right? And now it’s not there. Evans was using it, I was in there with Evans, and I went back to add it to the map and it’s not there.”

“He _thinks_ he was in there with Evans.” Peter grinned. James glared at him. “We’re just saying, we went there too, there’s no room, are you sure this wasn’t a dream you had?”

“No, no, let’s be honest here…” Sirius smirked. “If he was dreaming about being a room with Lily Evans, there’s going to be a bed there right?” 

“Fuck all of you. I was awake, I know what I saw, and I know where I was…well, I thought I knew where I was.” James snapped, snatching back the map. 

The door to the girls dormitory opened and Marlene paused on the threshold to stretch. “Oh hi Lily!” Sirius called, and James spun around, turning scarlet. Remus and Peter doubled over laughing. James sunk back down, cursing under his breath. “Can’t sleep?” Sirius asked Marlene as she settled herself into the armchair with him, her legs folded up. “Look at this, you’re just all leg, aren’t you? It’s ridiculous.” He said, running his hand over her knee. 

“Are you complaining about that?” Marlene smirked, catching his lips with hers. 

“Not even a little bit.” Sirius said, he loved her legs. 

“Marley, have you been to Evans's dance room?” James asked. Marlene turned back to James and shook her head.

“No, she’s mentioned it but I've never been there. Why?” 

“James has been dreaming, he thinks there’s a room opposite that tapestry of Barnabas the Barmy but there’s nothing there.” Remus laughed, James glared at him.

“I was _not_ dreaming.” James insisted, and Sirius was sure that his temper was starting to rise, from the frustration or from their teasing, he wasn’t sure. 

“Alright, calm down. Me and Marley will go and check it out now. Can we borrow your cloak?” Sirius asked, sliding Marlene off of his lap and standing up. 

“And have you feeling my sister up underneath it—”

“Jamie.” Marlene warned. 

“Fine, fine.” James muttered, going upstairs to fetch it. When he returned and handed it over, Sirius threw it over himself and Marlene. He took her hand and led her out of the portrait hole. There was something oddly intimate about walking together while they were invisible. He wasn’t using this as an excuse to feel Marlene up, as James had put it, but still, there was something intimate about it. He was sure that she could feel it too. 

“There’s the tapestry.” Marlene murmured as Sirius lit his wand, she slipped out from under the cloak and ran her hand along the opposite wall. “No invisible door.” He watched as she drew her wand and began muttering under her breath. Her brow furrowed in concentration. “You’re staring at me.” 

“How do you know, you can’t see me.” Sirius challenged. She was right of course, but it had to be a lucky guess. She was just used to being looked at by men.

“I can feel you.” She said, her cheeks turning ever so slightly pink in the wand light. “You’re the only person I’ve ever cared about watching me. I’ve grown attuned to what it feels like.” She added, turning her head slightly. Of all the things she’d said, that stirred something in him more than anything else. Standing there in her silk camisole and pyjama shorts that didn’t match — say things that made his heart flutter — did she have any idea what she was doing to him? “Do you want to have a go?” She asked, stepping back from the wall, and the change of subject jarred him for a moment. 

“I— What? No, if you can’t find a room there, I won’t be able to.” Sirius said.

“Sirius Black, are you admitting that I’m better at you at magic?” She grinned. Hearing footsteps he quickly extinguished his wand and lifted the cloak back over her, pressing his finger to her lips. Together they watched as Filch crossed the end of their corridor. He waited to reply until he was sure that he could no longer hear him.

“Some magic.” He conceded, stepping closer and pressing her back against the wall. Marlene’s breath caught as he played with the hem of her top, and he smirked as she looked down to watch his hands. He slipped his hands under the fabric and gripped her waist, catching her lips with his. He felt her melt into the kiss and couldn’t keep himself from grinning.

“You’re so full of it.” She snapped, breaking away. She shoved his shoulder but he could tell that she wasn’t really annoyed. “Come on, we better to go and tell James that he was dreaming… maybe leave out the part about you feeling me up under the cloak.”

“Please, that was hardly feeling you up…though, if we stick around a bit longer…” He said, brushing his fingers against her thigh. 

“Don’t tempt me.” She whined, and it look like it was causing her great pain to push his hand away. “Come on, let’s go back.”


	151. 13th October 1976

If it wasn’t a requirement for an Auror, Dorcas wouldn’t be taking potions, she’d thought last year had been hard but sixth year was proving to be a nightmare. Honestly, she was sure that Lily was going to be dragging her through. She was finding that she was missing Mary more than she thought she would, she’d gotten used to having every lesson with her, but now they were taking some different subjects.

“What’s that?” She asked Lily, inclining her head at the cauldron in front of Slughorn’s desk. Lily giggled, glanced at the potion and took her seat. Dorcas saw her catch James’s eye for a second before looking back. 

“I think it’s Amortentia.” Lily said, pulling her hair up into a bun and taking out her books. “You know, the love potion.” 

“That’s right, Lily.” Slughorn beamed, closing the classroom door behind him and crossing to his desk. 

“What else can you tell me about it?” Slughorn asked her. 

“It supposed to smell different to everyone.” Lily said, and Dorcas didn’t miss Lily glance at James again as she spoke and she banked it to tease her with later. Dorcas moved closer to the cauldron, it smelled like at warm day when it was about to rain, and cherries, and orchids. It made her feel so relaxed, so content, how was she supposed to concentrate? James was came up beside her, he had a similarly lazy look on his face. 

“Hey James, what do you smell?” Sirius called.

“Lilies.” He sighed before flushing red and stumbling back from the cauldron. The classroom was filled with a roars of laughter, and Lily was smirking. Something had definitely changed between them, Dorcas was sure of it. 

“Okay, settle down.” Slughorn grinned. “Today, you’re going to have a go at brewing this concoction.” He waved his wand and the instructions appeared on the blackboard. It was the most complicated potion Dorcas’d ever had to make, and she was sure that she’d only just scraped that ‘E’ in her OWL. 

“Help.” She whispered to Lily, as she returned to the desks to sit between her and Marlene. 

“Look at Snivellus.” Marlene grinned. Dorcas glanced round and saw Snape frantically jotting down the instructions. “Hey Snivelly, there’s not enough Amortentia in the world!” She called, and Snape shot her a filthy look.


	152. 13th October 1976 .II

“Where are you going?” Sirius grinned as James passed him and Marlene on his way out of the portrait hole. 

“None of your business.” James said quickly. He wanted to go and find Lily but she hadn’t seemed to want him mentioning the time they’d been spending together — walks around the castle, studying in corner alcoves in the library. He didn’t want to risk putting an end to all that by blabbing, even if this was only Sirius and Marlene. “Where have _you_ been?” 

Sirius opened his mouth but Marlene cut him off. “None of your business.” She said quickly. James shrugged, he wasn't sure he wanted to know, and hurried along the corridor and down two flights of stairs. Remus had said that he and Lily had to supervise the first years, chess or gobstones club… he hadn’t _actually_ been listening properly until he’d mentioned Lily. The classroom door opened and the first years spilled out, Remus smirked at him as he passed and James grinned, watching as Lily tidied up the room.

“Want to take a walk?” He asked, and to his relief she nodded. They set off through the castle in a comfortable silence, his arm occasionally brushing up against hers. 

“Is this you checking up on me?” She finally asked. “Because you’ve not actually said anything?”

“I didn’t want to push it.” He grinned. “But alright then, how are you holding up?”

They’d stopped at the bottom of the Divination corridor and Lily settled herself gracefully down on the low ledge under the spiral staircase… as though everything she did wasn’t graceful, and perfect, and designed my some greater force in the universe to make him fall for her completely… 

She fiddled with the hairband on her wrist and he sat down beside her, the space was a lot smaller than he’d thought it was, and he wasn’t quite sure what to do with his legs. After a few moments of shuffling he shifted to a slight angle and slid one leg behind hers and put the other in front. His faffing about caused the corners of her mouth to tug up in a grin, before it faded slightly. “I’m alright. A few nightmares, but nothing I can’t handle. I just hate that I couldn’t do anything to stop it, to save him… I know you know what that feels like.”

He reached up an tucked her hair behind her ear. “I know.” He said gently. 

“Really, I’m okay.” She smiled softly. 

“Good.” James said, and they fell again into that peaceful silence. 

“Potions was interesting to day.” She said, her voice was casual but he was sure that inside she was laughing at him. He felt his cheeks growing warm. He still couldn’t believe he’d gone and blurted that out. 

“I didn’t know that it would have that effect on me.” He said sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Don’t worry. That fact that you fancy me is hardly news to anyone.” She grinned. James supposed that she was right, what was more interesting was that she fancied him right back… not that she was admitting that to anyone else. James was prepared to wait though, for as long as it took for her to be ready, and he’d do whatever he had to in order to prove himself.

“What do you smell?” He asked, inching closer and unable to keep the pathetic hopefulness out of his voice. She’d given nothing away in class. “I was waiting for you to speak up in the lesson but you kept infuriatingly quiet. Tell me.” He breathed. James shivered as she trailed her fingers over his forearm; it had nothing to do with the temperature.

“You.” Lily whispered. She tilted her head and pressed her lips to his. James’s world came alive. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her impossibly closer. He’d never be sure of how long the kiss lasted, and when she pulled away her smile was radiant. Lily got to her feet and James followed, bumping his head on the underside of the stone stairs. “You can’t tell anyone about that.” She said as they walked back down the seventh floor corridor towards the Fat Lady.

“Not if you don’t want me to.” He promised. He wanted to run and tell his friends but he wouldn’t, not if she wanted to keep it a secret.

“And don’t assume that I’m going to be kissing you every change I get.” She added. “This was a one off, for now anyway—”

“Just a taste of what dating you will be like?” He smirked.

“Shut up, Potter.” She said, her cheeks turning pink.


	153. 30th October 1976

“So where do you want to go?” Marlene asked as she and Sirius walked down the drive towards Hogsmeade. It felt a little strange, they’d been to the village together before, they’d been most places in the village together before, but this was their first time going there when it was a date.

“I was thinking Madam Puddifoot’s” Sirius said casually. Marlene wrinkled her nose. It wasn’t quite as obnoxious as it was on Valentine’s day, but it was still a little bit too cutesy… 

“I’m kidding.” Sirius grinned wrapping his arm around her shoulders. 

“The Three Broomsticks?” Marlene suggested, though the problem with that was that it was the first Hogsmeade trip of the year and it was already afternoon. The place would be rammed, but the sky was black and she was sure it would start raining any moment. 

“Yeah, alright, I always enjoy a bit of a flirt with Rosmerta.” Sirius smirked.

“I hate you so much, Sirius Black.” She sighed, trying not to smile. He was only teasing her, at least she was mostly sure that he was only teasing her. Marlene pushed opened the door to the pub and frowned, they’d never find anywhere to sit. “How about The Hogs Head? That barman will serve anyone anything.” She suggested, letting the door swing closed again.

“Give it a few days and I’ll be able to buy anything anywhere.” Sirius grinned arrogantly. 

“Good, think of all the booze you can buy me.” There was a roll of thunder and the heavens opened, drenching them in freezing rain. Sirius grabbed her hand and they ran towards the other pub — Marlene hadn’t remembered it being so far away. They stumbled inside; it was far quieter than she thought she’d ever seen The Three Broomsticks. 

“Firewhisky?” He asked her. Marlene nodded, she needed something to warm her up. Sirius went off to chat to the barman and Marlene sat down at the table in the window. It was so dingy in here, hardly the most romantic date location, but she found — rather surprisingly — that she didn’t actually mind. “I should probably tell you now, because you might kill me if I don’t,” he said, setting down their drinks and siting in the opposite chair. “Your mascara has run.” 

“Great date look.” She muttered self-consciously. It was infuriating that Sirius still looked great even when he was so bedraggled.

“Still beautiful.” He shrugged.

“Shut up.” Marlene grinned, kicking him under the table. She fished in her pocket for a tissue. It was wet from the rain, but that would probably be better. She ran it under her eyes, hoping to wipe away some of the mess. “How’s that? And for real, no telling me I always look great.” She added quickly as he opened his mouth to speak.

“Better.” He laughed. Better would have to do. She picked up her glass and took a sip, letting the drink warm her up. “Think you’ll win the match next Saturday?” 

“Well, it’s against Slytherin, so obviously.” Marlene grinned. She was biased, but she really did think that Gryffindor had the best team. They chatted for a while about the upcoming game, Sirius did a very good job at acting sufficiently interested, but Marlene wasn’t fooled, she knew that he wasn’t _quite_ as interested in the sport as she was. 

“Want to brave the rain?” He asked as they finished their drinks. 

“Well, I can’t have you calling me a coward.” She laughed, getting up and holding out her hand. 

“Like I ever would.” He said, letting her pull him up. The rain hadn’t let up, and by the time they reached the castle, they looked as though they’d spent an hour in the lake. “That’s a good look on you.” Sirius said, reaching over to squeeze some of the water out of her ponytail. 

“What, wet?” Marlene asked, crossing the common room with him. She needed to go up to her dormitory and get changed.

“Well…” Sirius smirked, his eyes sparkling mischievously, and tugging her back away from the door slightly. 

“Such a dirty mind.” She grinned. They were relatively alone in the common room, just a few first and second years, most of the others must be waiting out the rain in Hogsmeade’s various establishments.

“Would you like to borrow one of the warm and cozy jumpers that you love so much?” He asked, reaching behind him to open the door to the boys’ dormitories.

“It sounds like you’re trying to get me into you bedroom under false pretences.” She said, tapping a finger to her chin and trying unsuccessfully to don a serious expression. It was especially hard to be convincing when her feet seemed to be following him up the stairs of their own accord. She shrugged off her wet coat and dumped it on James’s bed, not particularly nice of her, but he’d have definitely done the same thing. Sirius kicked off his shoes, before taking out some dry clothes and a jumper for her, and set them on the dresser. 

“Good idea.” He grinned, nodding at where she’d put her coat and did the same. Marlene watched as he unbuttoned his shirt, she was staring, but she really didn’t care. Surely someone so attractive had to have been sculpted by some higher power. She bit her lip as he stepped out of his jeans, and when he turned back to her his grin told her quite clearly that she hadn’t looked away in time. “You’re staring.” He accused playfully, closing the distance between them, and pressing his lips just below her ear. 

“You’re one to talk.” She said, trying very hard to suppress a moan. 

“You’ll catch your death standing in wet clothes.” He warned, taking hold of the bottom of her top.

“Ah, the real reason you invited me up here.” She grinned, letting him pull it off over her head. Almost without deciding to do so, Marlene stepped out of her own shoes and unbuttoned her jeans, pushing them down. She’d felt awkward undressing in front of Craig, but she’d never felt like that with Sirius. His eyes darkened and he kissed her deeply, pulling her close. He skimmed his fingers up her back and she shivered as he unhooked her bra. It fell to the floor between them and he trailed his fingers around to her breasts. She gasped at his touch, and she smiled slightly at the sound of the chuckle that escaped up his throat. Sirius sunk to his knees and peppered her stomach with kisses. Marlene grabbed his wrists as he tried to tug down her knickers. “Before you get the wrong idea, _that’s_ not happing this afternoon.” She said quickly. Sirius turned, well, serious and stood back up. 

“Nothing you don’t want to do.” He promised. Marlene smiled, and brushed his fringe away from his face. She let her knickers fall and kicked them aside with her jeans. Sirius stepped back to look at her and swallowed. Smirking she pulled on the dry jumper and flopped down on to his bed, letting the hem ride up slightly. “You’re going to be what kills me, I know it.” He sighed dramatically.


	154. 6th November 1976

The speed with which Gryffindor Chasers were moving was like nothing that Sirius had seen before, spurred on by their win last year they were playing better than ever. Ana, Marlene, and James seemed to be passing the Quaffle so seamlessly that the Slytherin players had barely touched it all match; so far only scoring ten points to Gryffindor’s one hundred and twenty. Suddenly, Marlene’s broom gave a violent jerk upwards and she dropped the Quaffle. Sirius watched as James flew up beside her for a moment before speeding off. Clodagh Farrell and Luis Scott both dived after the Snitch, but Sirius wasn’t watching them, Marlene’s broom seemed out of her control, but no one else had realised. Both teams and spectators had turned to watch the two Seekers. Very reluctantly Sirius tore his eyes away from Marlene and scanned the crowd; Snivellus was also looking up at Marlene, half hidden by the crowd around him who had risen to their feet in a wave. Sirius reached down two rows and snatched a pair of binoculars from a third year.

“Shut up.” He snapped when the boy tried to protest. Sirius looked though them at Snape. He had his wand out and Sirius was sure that he was speaking. He barely registered the cheers as Clodagh secured Gryffindor’s win; Marlene was tumbling towards the ground, James speeding after her but there was no way he close enough to catch up. Sirius pushed his fellow Gryffindors out of his way as he charged down to the pitch. Marlene hit the ground and the stadium fell silent as abruptly as if some unseen force had switched off the sound. Her limbs we splayed out at odd angles. Sirius’s world began to spin as he vaulted over the barrier, he didn’t know how she could have possibly survived that sort of fall. James landed beside her, followed by the rest of the team, as people began to descend from the stands to get a closer look.

“Don’t touch her!” McGonagall screamed shrilly as James reached out his hand. She magicked her onto at stretcher and went up to the castle, the Gryffindor team following quickly behind them.

“I hope she’s alright.” Snape said, in a tone clearly indicating that he was hoping for precisely the opposite.

“You did this!” Sirius spat, spinning on the spot.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Snape said, his voice dripping with fake innocence. Sirius dived at him, roaring a mix of curses and expletives, but without a wand in his hand the spells had no effect. Not that it mattered, he didn’t need a wand to choke the life out of him. Remus and Peter grabbed his arms, holding him back; Snape gave a nasty little smirk and walked away. It took them a long time to half push and half drag Sirius back up to the castle as he fought to chase after Snape. It wasn’t until he reached the Entrance Hall that he realised that he was wasting time. He wrenched himself free and sprinted to the hospital wing, forcing his way through the Gryffindor team lining Marlene’s bed. Her eyes were closed, she might have been asleep if not for the trickle of blood staining her blonde hair.

“—out! All of you! It’s a miracle that she’s even alive!” Madam Pomfrey said, shooing away the rest of the team. Sirius didn’t move, neither did James. Nicole was sobbing uncontrollably into the front of his Quidditch robes and his grip on her was so firm that his knuckles were taught and white.

“Potter, take young Miss McKinnon up to my office and give her a very strong cup of tea.” McGonagall said, her voice fainter than Sirius had ever heard it. James nodded, though he seemed unwilling to look away from Marlene.

“Come on, Nik Nak.” He said softly. “Nicole, sweetheart. Let’s leave Madam Pomfrey to fix her up.” It took him a while to get Nicole to leave the hospital wing.

“It was Snape.” Sirius said abruptly, tearing his gaze away from Marlene to look at McGonagall.

“That’s a very serious accusation.” McGonagall said, her voice back to its usual briskness. Sirius wiped the hot tears off of his cheeks with his sleeve and grit his teeth defiantly.

“I saw him. He did something to her broom.” He hissed, reluctantly letting her guide him out into the corridor. He had no proof, but he wasn’t going to let Snape get away with it, he’d deal with the bastard himself if she wouldn’t believe him.

  
Sirius had never known the Gryffindor common room so subdued, especially not after a Quidditch match, and especially not a match that they had won. He’d thrown himself into his arm chair by the fire, occasionally getting back up to pace. Neither seemed to bring him any relief. He should be down there with her. What if Madam Pomfrey _couldn’t_ fix her? She had been a constant, shining feature of his life since the day they’d met. _Stop it._ He told himself.

James and Nicole climbed through the portrait hole, Nicole still tearful and James looking more rattled than Sirius had ever seen him…which was saying something as his friend had once watched a man die.

“It was Snivellus.” Sirius said immediately, jumping back to his feet.

“What?” Nicole asked in a very small voice, looking between them.

“Sirius, leave it, alright?” James muttered.

“Someone did this to her?” Nicole brushed away an escaped tear.

“ _No_.” James hissed.

“Yes—”

“Sirius, shut up!” James shouted. He looked furious; Nicole drew her wand and tried to turn back to leave the common room but James grabbed hold of her. “It was a freak accident, Nicole. Go to bed, McGonagall said you can go and see her in the morning…Lily can you take care of her?” James asked, nudging Nicole in Lily’s direction. Lily looked exceptionally pale as she took Nicole’s hand and lead her up the girls stairs. James ran his hand through his hair, Sirius was sure that on any other day Nicole would be protesting that she wasn’t a baby, that she didn’t need looking after. “What the hell is the matter with you?” James demanded, rounding on Sirius.

“I know what I saw. Don’t you care about Marlene?” Sirius snapped. For a moment he thought James was going to hit him, or curse him. But he said nothing, he just turned away and went up to bed. Sirius threw himself back down in the chair. At least his anger was providing a temporary distraction from his sickening worry.

That night when everyone had gone to bed, Sirius took James’s cloak out of his trunk and crept downstairs.

“I’m coming with you.” Lily whispered, and Sirius let out a yelp, he hadn't noticed her sat in one of the chairs to his right. She didn’t need to ask if he was going to see Marlene.

“Fine, just keep quiet.” Sirius muttered, throwing the invisibility cloak over them. They walked slowly and carefully to the hospital wing. Marlene had been changed into pyjamas and it appeared as though Madam Pomfrey had healed her broken bones. She still looked so fragile in the bed though, and the image of her falling though the air was burned into his mind. He wondered if she’d woken up at all since this afternoon. Lily went to take her hand but pulled back quickly, and honestly, Sirius couldn’t blame her. What if they did more damage? They sat down against the wall and Sirius made sure the cloak was covering them. “She’ll be okay won’t she?”

“Of course she will.” Lily said, resting her head on his shoulder. “Madam Pomfrey can cure anything.” Sirius hoped that she was really as sure as she sounded.


	155. 7th November 1976

“How many times, I’m fine, Dad.” Marlene sighed pushing herself up against her pillows. “I came off my broom, it could’ve happened to anyone.” 

“Madam Pomfrey said that you’re lucky to be alive.” Gordon snapped. Beatrice reached across Marlene’s bed to put her hand on her husband’s arm.

“She’s only saying that because it’s Quidditch, she doesn’t think anyone should be playing. Tell them Jamie.” Marlene demanded.

“I don’t know…” James said hesitantly, looking between each of the McKinnons. “You fell pretty far.” 

“Traitor.” She grumbled. 

“We’ll leave you to get some rest.” Beatrice sighed, getting to her feet. “Jeremy and I have got to go to work this afternoon, but your father is going to stay in Hogsmeade. We’ll all come back tomorrow.” 

“Mummy, can’t I stay?” Nicole begged. 

“No.” Gordon said, before Beatrice could answer. “Go back to the common room.” Marlene knew Nicole better than that though, if she wanted to sneak back later, she would. Her family bid her goodbye and left, and just as Marlene was about to resign herself to boredom, Sirius appeared in the doorway to the hospital wing. He ducked down below Madam Pomfrey’s office window and crossed to her bed.

“Hi.” He said softly; he looked terrible… and infuriatingly still fucking fantastic.

“Hi.” She whispered back. Sirius pulled the curtain across slightly so he wouldn’t be noticed.

“How are you feeling?” He asked, taking her hand. Marlene laughed and then winced slightly, laughing still hurt a bit.

“I’ve had better days.” She grinned, though it faltered when his eyes filled with tears. “Oh, don’t cry.” She mumbled, slipping her hand out of his to cup his face. “I’m fine. Madam Pomfrey patched me up. She’s just keeping me in for a week because it’s a Quidditch injury. You know what she’s like.”

“I’ve been so worried, I thought you’d—” He broke off, the word didn’t seem to want to leave his mouth.

“I don’t really remember anything. I remember scoring a goal, and then waking up here. They’ve told me I fell off, that something was up with my broom. Which it had to be, because I’m a superb flyer.” 

“A modest one too.” Sirius muttered, a small smile pricking his lips. He sighed and took her hand again, kissing it. “It was Snivellus.” He added suddenly.

“What?” Marlene frowned, as far as she knew Snivellus wasn’t up there to knock her off. As far as she knew he couldn’t play Quidditch for shit.

“Snivellus jinxed your broom, I saw him, but no one believes me.” He muttered. Marlene slid down against the pillows and stared up at the ceiling. Fucking Snivellus. What had she ever done to him? Okay, so she’d been a bit of a bitch to him. 

“I don’t think he likes me very much.” She eventually said, trying to keep her voice conversational.

“Stop trying to make me laugh.” Sirius muttered.

“I’ll never stop trying to make you laugh.” She said, squeezing his hand. “He blames me for Lily cutting him out.” She added.

“Yeah, because it couldn’t possibly have anything to do with him calling her that awful word.” Sirius hissed. “He’s not going to get away with this, I’m not going to let him.”

“Sirius, don’t go doing something that…I’m not worth—” She didn’t want him getting in trouble over this, well more trouble than he usually got himself in.

“Don’t you dare. You know, for someone so smart and arrogant, you really don’t have a high opinion of yourself. If you could see yourself how I see you…”

“Sirius.” She sighed, brushing her thumb over his bottom lip. He bit down gently on it and she laughed. “Just don’t do anything stupid.”

“I’ve never done anything stupid in my life.” Sirius grinned. Marlene snorted, turning onto her side with another wince. She loved him. She was completely in love with him, and she just wished that she hadn’t spent so much time pretending that wasn’t true, wasted so much time with Craig Platt.


	156. 23nd November 1976

“Do you have to be such a distraction?” Marlene sighed, trying to resist the temptation to snog the life out of him. She’d already moved to the other end of his bed because the feel of his hand on her leg had been driving her insane. She was seriously considering moving to one of the other beds, or returning to the girls dormitory. “Do you want me to check your essay over or not?”

“I’m not doing anything!” Sirius protested. “I’m just sat here.” He was sat their looking gorgeous. Okay, so maybe he couldn’t help it, but she was choosing to ignore that right now. 

“You know what you’re doing.” She muttered. Frowning slightly, she reread his paragraph on the Cruciatus curse, it was so vivid… almost as though he knew what it felt like. Worry began to pick at the back of her mind. Surely he would have told her if something had happened to him… She opened her mouth, about to broach the subject, when he grabbed hold of her ankles to pull her down onto her back and tugged her closer. She let out a scream and tried to kick him but he didn’t let go. “I hate you.” 

“How much do you hate me?” He asked, parting her legs slightly and kissing the underside of her knee. Marlene gasped before she could stop herself. She didn’t hate him, of course. She was in love with him, crazy, madly in love with him. Sirius was smirking, he could tell how much that simple gesture had turned her on. It wasn’t fair that he was so good at this. 

“So fucking much.” She snapped as he crawled his way down the bed to her. He went to kiss her and she put the parchment in front of her mouth to block him. 

“You hate me?” He asked again, lowering his body onto hers, she was suddenly hyper aware that he was between her legs. 

“I hate you.” _I love you_. She couldn’t tell him that, not yet, it was too soon, what if it scared him off? She didn’t want to end up joining the line of past girlfriends. Well, ‘girlfriends’ might have been a strong word for the girls that Sirius used to spend his time with. 

“I think I can change your mind.” He murmured against her collarbone. 

“Make yourself useful and get me a cup of tea.” Marlene said, it took all of herself control not to throw his essay aside and pull the curtains around his bed closed. Sirius sighed and rolled off of her. As soon as the dormitory door shut behind him, Marlene got up and waved her wand at his bed, moving it away from the wall. She picked up her quill and, behind the headboard, she wrote _Marlene McKinnon loves Sirius Black_. He’d find it eventually...possibly. She put the room back as it was and settled down to finish reading.


	157. 30th November 1976

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted for Jilytober 2020

Lily’s brow furrowed as she tried to thread the cotton through eye of her needle. There had to be a spell for this surely. There was also probably a spell for sewing, but she had to put a lot of faith in her pointe shoes so she made every alteration to them herself and by hand. Eventually she pulled the cotton through and settled back against her pillows to sew. 

“What are you doing?” Marlene asked, pulling back the curtains around Lily’s bed and settling herself at the other end. Lily clicked her tongue, Marlene could _see_ what she was doing, clearly she wanted to talk about something else.

“Repairing my ballet shoes.” She said, humouring her.

“I was in the library earlier… you and Jamie looked awfully close.” Marlene said. Lily didn’t look up from her work but she could hear the grin in Marlene’s voice. Her heart started to pound, wondering just how much Marlene had seen… there was no way she could have spotted that James’d had his hand on her thigh. 

“He was helping me with my Charms homework.” Lily said much too quickly. It was true… technically, but it wasn’t the whole truth. Her cheeks flared at the thought. She could still feel his hand inching up her leg, still feel his breath tickling her neck. It had taken every ounce of self control she had not to pull him into a dark corner of the castle somewhere.

“Lils, do you fancy Jamie?” Marlene asked. Lily pushed the needle through the shoe and straight into her thumb.

“Ouch!” She hissed, blood pooling to the surface. Glaring at Marlene she put her thumb in her mouth. A little warning would have been nice. She fancied James Potter like mad, fancied his socks off — the rest of his clothes too actually — but she wasn’t exactly ready to volunteer that information to her friends just yet, not when she’d spent so long declaring her dislike for him and calling him and arrogant toe rag. 

“No.” She said firmly. “I do not fancy James. He’s just very good at Charms.” Marlene raised her eyebrows and Lily knew that she didn’t believe her for a second, and then her friend frowned. “Is this the part where you tell me to stay away from your brother?” Lily asked, amused. Marlene McKinnon: James Potter’s greatest defender.

“Just don’t lead him on, alright?” Marlene warned. “He’s mad about you and I’m worried that he’s going to get hurt.”

“Marley, look, you’ve got nothing to worry about. I don’t fancy him, he knows that. We were just studying.” Lily insisted, obviously she hadn’t seen anything except how closely they’d been sitting or she definitely brought it up in the case against her. She hated lying to Marlene like this, but she and James were exploring whatever this was between them, and it would be so much easier to do without prying and interference from their well meaning friends. 

“Alright, if you insist.” Marlene said, though she didn’t sound particularly convinced.


	158. 6th December 1976

Madam Pomfrey had only kept Marlene in the hospital wing for a week to be on the safe side, and she _had_ emerged as good as new. But that didn’t change the fact that Snape had gotten away with putting her there in the first place. Sirius had put up good show of pretending to have let it go, carrying on as normal, while trying come up with a way to really get back at the slimy bastard. He’d just had to wait for the next full moon.

“Alright, Snivellus?” He called, pushing off from the Entrance Hall wall. Snape whipped around, drawing his wand. Sirius raised his hands. “Now, now. Don’t be like that.”

“What do you want?”

“You know, if you touch the knot in the tree with a long stick tonight, you’ll be able to see what’s down there.” He smiled. Snape’s eyes widened eagerly for a moment before he narrowed them.

“Why are you telling me this?” He asked suspiciously.

“Because you’re too much of a pathetic coward to actually try it.” Sirius shrugged, turning away and entering the Great Hall for dinner.

  
That night as Sirius crossed the grounds with James and Peter, he spotted Snape hurrying towards the Whomping Willow, and grabbed their arms to stop them. He was going to enjoy every moment of this.

“What the fuck is that little prick doing?” James whispered, as the branches stilled and Snape disappeared.

“I told him how to get past the tree.” Sirius laughed.

“Have you lost your mind?” James shot out from under the cloak and sprinted after Snape.

“What’s his problem?” Sirius muttered to Peter. Peter shifted uncomfortably before Sirius suddenly became visible. _Fine_ , if the fucking wimp wanted to run back to the castle, then fine. “Oi! Prongs! Don’t be a twat!” He called as James shot down the passage. Sirius felt his heart hammer against his chest. This wasn’t going quite how he’d planned; James was going to get himself killed. He had to stop him. Before Sirius could reach the tree himself, however, James was dragging Snape back out, both of them gasping for breath. Snape gave them each an enraged, terrified look before pushing himself to his feet and scurrying back to the castle. Sirius reached down and pulled James up off the ground, but the second he let go James swung his arm back and his fist collided hard with his jaw. Sirius stumbled backwards, rubbing the side of his face. “What the fuck was that for?” But James seemed too angry to speak. He turned on his heel and sped after Snape. “It was just a joke!” He yelled, following him. “He deserved it, anyway! He nearly killed Marlene!”

They finally caught up to Snape in the Entrance Hall as McGonagall stormed down the marble staircase, white faced and furious, with Peter following quickly behind her.

“Pettigrew get back up to bed. Black wait for me in my office. Snape, Potter, come with me.” She snarled. The look of cold fury on her face made Sirius’s stomach lurch.

  
Sirius waited in her office for what felt like hours. He didn’t dare sit in her chair this time. He sat quietly in the one opposite her desk, staring at the wall and trying not to panic. When she eventually strode in, she crossed the room and looked down at him, her hands splayed out on the surface of her desk. He waited for the explosion, but it never came. He didn’t dare speak, he hardly dare even breath.

“Explain yourself.” She said, her voice barely more than a deadly whisper. Sirius didn’t know what to say, he was beginning to think that this was possibly one of his more stupid ideas.

“I told Snivellus how to get past the willow.” He mumbled, his mouth very dry and his jaw throbbing painfully.

“Speak up.”

“I told Snape how to get past the Whomping Willow.” He said, a little louder. Her nostrils flared and he half expected her to breath fire.

“I am aware. Why?”

“Thought it would be funny.” He muttered, but this wasn’t the whole truth. “It’s no worse than what he did to Marlene!” He added defensively. 

“I can’t keep having this same conversation. You have no proof.” She seemed to deflate into her chair as she sat down. “I’m at a loss for what to do with you, Black. I should recommend to the Headmaster that you are expelled.” Sirius felt his stomach drop; Hogwarts was his first real home. “I would give you detention, but you’re in detention all the time and I no longer think they work on you. I would take points from Gryffindor, but you don’t seem to care about that either.” She sighed. “Do you have any idea… The seriousness of what you’ve done! Two of your fellow students could have been killed tonight because of you, one of whom is your best friend, is he not? I have never been so disappointed with a student in my life. I expected so much more from you, Sirius. I thought that you were better than this.” Sirius looked at his knees feeling sick, he wished that she would shout at him. “Go to bed. I’m taking four hundred and sixty five points from Gryffindor.”

He was fairly sure that was all of their points, but he didn’t dare take a detour past the hour glasses to to confirm that Gryffindor’s was now empty. He would have taken expulsion over this level of disappointment from the adult he admired above all others. Why couldn’t he keep himself from being such a monumental let down to every parental figure in his life? But he would earn back her respect if it was the last thing he ever did.


	159. 7th December 1976

If McGonagall had made him feel ashamed of himself, however, it was nothing compared to Remus. Sirius hadn’t gone down to breakfast, neither James nor Peter were speaking to him, but he had a free period afterwards anyway so at least he could wallow alone in the empty common room. The portrait hole opened and Remus stepped inside. He looked tired, and exceptionally grave.

“Remus, I can explain.” He said quickly, jumping to his feet.

“James told me what you did.”

“Remus—”

“You’re supposed to be my friend! How could you put me in that position? Do you think I want to hurt people? I am haunted by that fear every day!” His voice cracked and Sirius felt his stomach turn over.

“Remus, I didn’t think—”

“You never do! You can be so careless with other people, Sirius. You insist you’re better than your family but sometimes you’re so much like them.” He spat. Sirius felt as though all the air had been knocked out of him.

“Please, Moony…” He choked.

“Just stay away from me.” He turned, slamming the portrait hole door behind him as he left.  
Sirius sunk down into a chair and retched, but there was nothing to bring up. How could he have done that? He hadn’t thought about Remus at all, not given his friend a second thought. So single-minded in his desire to make Snivellus suffer for what he’d done to Marlene that he’d almost turned his friend into a killer. 

Remus was right. He was just like his family. They wouldn’t have cared for the well-being, the freedom, the safety, even, of some werewolf. Oh how proud they would be right now…

Sirius dragged a shaking hand over his face. He was supposed to be better than them. He loved Remus and he’d almost destroyed him, and nearly killed James in the process. As soon as he told his parents — or as soon as the school did — Mr and Mrs Potter would kick him out on the street. Sirius wouldn’t blame them for it. It was the least he deserved. He got up and crossed to the window, staring out at the frosty grounds. It had started to snow.

And then there was Marley… No one came before James, her Jamie. She’d never speak to him again. 

_What had he done?_

“What have you done?” Sirius spun around. It was as though Marlene had read his mind. Her face was white, she looked worse than she had done in the hospital wing. Sirius opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out. How could he tell her? He knew that she knew what Remus was… that wasn’t the issue. How could he tell her that he’d almost destroyed three lives last night… two of them he felt guiltier about than the other. Though, that was hardly going to help convince her that he wasn’t the monster he was proving to be. “It was mostly rhetorical. I spoke to Jamie. But, I would like to hear your side of it.” 

“I never meant to put James in danger.” He said quickly. “If you don’t believe anything else that I say, I need you to believe that.” 

“I know.” Marlene said, she hadn’t moved, but her voice was softer.

“I didn’t think—”

“That much is painfully obvious.” She sighed, coming to sit in the chair that he had just vacated. 

“I wanted Snivellus to pay, I wanted him to suffer, he nearly killed you and _no one_ believes me. He just got away with it, and no one even cares.” Sirius hissed through gritted teeth. 

“I never asked you to—”

“I know you didn’t.” He said quickly. No part of this was Marlene’s fault, he had come up with this monumentally stupid revenge plan all by himself. “This isn’t on you.” 

“Oh Sirius.” She sighed. She looked angrier than she sounded. He sunk to his knees in front of her. He’d do anything to keep Marlene in his life… if he lost her too... 

“I told Snivellus how to get past the willow last night. It was the full moon, I wanted him to run straight into Remus.” As he said it his stomach rolled again. “I don’t really know what I wanted to happen next. I wanted him to get hurt.” He admitted. “But I don’t think I wanted him dead… Either way, I didn’t even take Remus into consideration. What hurting someone — killing someone — would do to him.” Sirius looked up and Marlene had tears in her eyes. He so rarely saw her cry. She sat back in the chair and stared up at the ceiling.

“And Jamie ran in after him?” She asked.

“Yes.” Sirius said, his voice suddenly hoarse. “He could have been killed. He’s never going to speak to me again. Nor Remus. They shouldn’t.” He whispered. “And if you don’t either, I get it, I’ll leave you alone. I nearly killed your brother. But I need you to know that I am so, so fucking sorry.” 

Marlene didn’t move for a moment, and then, to Sirius’s amazement, she leant forwards and pressed her forehead to his, tangling her fingers through his hair. “I’m not going anywhere.” She whispered. “I can hardly believe that you could be so stupid, but I’m not going anywhere.” Sirius was sure that it would be a different story if someone had died. If her Jamie had died.


	160. 7th December 1976 .II

_Dear Mum,_

_How are you? I hope everything is okay at home, and that you’re keeping well. I’m not doing great right now. Something terrible happened last night… could have happened. Sirius told a kid in our year how to get down to where I was in the Shrieking Shack, and James went in after them. I could have killed them both. Sirius isn’t who I thought he was._

_I don’t want to be here anymore. I’ll stay until Christmas but after that, I’m not coming back. I know you and dad will be disappointed, but I have my O.W.Ls, and last night showed me that it’s just not safe for me to be here. I’m putting so many people in danger. People should be able to go about there day with out fear that they’ll be killed by the monster in the grounds._

_I’m so sorry._

_Love, Remus_

Remus reread the letter, he just hoped that his mum would still remember who he was. If it wasn’t so close to Christmas, when he would be going home anyway, he would beg them to come and get him. Hogwarts didn’t feel safe anymore. Not just for the other students, but for him too. Dumbledore might have sworn Snape to secrecy, but Remus didn’t trust that he wouldn't tell the rest of the Slytherins. And Remus hadn’t forgotten how Mulciber was in Lamot’s lessons. 

He just didn’t understand how Sirius could have done that to him. They were supposed to be friends. He’d hidden out in the hospital wing all day, and wandered the castle that evening for quiet spots. But he was going to have to return to the common room soon. 

“Remus?” 

He looked up at the sound of Mary’s voice, and quickly rolled up the letter, trying to hitch a smile onto his face.

“What’s wrong?” Dorcas asked quickly. The two girls approached and sat down either side of him.

“Nothing.” He mumbled. What else was he supposed to say, they didn’t know what he was, at least he didn’t think they did, but by now the whole fucking school could know. 

“You’ve been crying.” Mary said, and Remus quickly wiped his eyes, but he knew it was too late. 

“I’m just a bit home sick.” He mumbled. It wasn’t a lie. He missed home right now more than he ever had. “I’m not coming back after Christmas. My mum isn’t well, she needs me to look after her.”

Dorcas wrapped her arm around his shoulder and Remus leaned against her, trying very hard not to cry again. “Please don’t leave school. I’d really miss you.” 

That did it, hot tears started to run once more down his cheeks and Remus sat forwards, his head in his hands. It had been just what he’d said to her when she’d wanted to leave back in second year. “Do you want us to get someone?” Mary asked a comforting hand on his back. “James? Sirius—”

“No.” Remus said sharply. Sirius was the last person he wanted to see right now. 

“Mary, go and get James or Lily, who ever you find first…though you’ll probably find them together.” Dorcas said, and despite everything, Remus laughed.


	161. 10th December 1976

Marlene had watched Christy Miller leaning over Sirius as he explained some Transfiguration formula. Marlene very much doubted that she actually wanted help. Her dark hair kept brushing against his face, and Marlene was willing to bet she’d undone an extra few buttons on her shirt before asking him for _help_. 

Marlene wasn’t _jealous_. She didn’t get jealous. _Christy Miller_ , (even her name was irritating), moved to sit on the desk. Her laugh was far too exaggerated — an excuse to touch his arm — Sirius wasn’t that funny. How was it that when she acted like that the whole school called her a slut but it was _fine_ for _Christy Miller_ to throw herself at Sirius.

Marlene hated that she was comparing herself to this fifth year cow. Marlene was definitely more intelligent, and that should be want counted the most. Marlene also thought she had a better figure, though Christy Miller looked like she had the boobs of those stupid bikini models that Sirius had on his wall. And Christy Miller was a brunette…Sirius wasn’t that picky, but his string of girlfriends before Marlene had all had dark hair. 

Sirius looked up and spotted her. She turned her back and stalked away from him through the rows of bookcases. She felt his hand close around her wrist and he pulled her into an alcove. 

“Marls, what’s wrong?” He asked, tilting his head to catch her eye, but she determinedly avoided his gaze. “Marley?”

“You and Christy Miller looked cozy.” She said casually. She caught his mouth turning up in a grin, seemingly before he could stop himself and she glared at him. 

“Are you _jealous_?” He laughed. 

“No. I don’t get jealous. I’m _far_ better than Christy Miller.” She snapped, hating that she sounded jealous. It was just that he was her boyfriend, she hated that girls were still throwing themselves at him like she was invisible.

“Why do you keep using her full name like that?” Sirius laughed.

“Because it’s a stupid name.” Marlene muttered. Actually, it was an irritatingly normal name. 

“You are far better than Christy Miller.” Sirius grinned, backing her into a bookcase. “You’re a thousand times smarter, and a thousand times more beautiful.” He said, his hands on shelves either side of her head. “Which is exactly what I told her.” 

“You told her that?” Marlene asked, raising her eye brows, his face was so close now. Sirius nodded, his lips brushing briefly against hers. “She’s your type.”

“I don’t _have_ a type.” Sirius smirked, he sounded so proud of himself, did he really think now was the right time to be gloating over his past conquests? 

“You like brunettes.” Marlene muttered irritably. Sirius laughed, and Marlene tried to slip past him but he blocked her in. He wrapped a lock of her hair around his finger and brought it up between their faces. 

“I prefer blondes.” He said softly. “And I there is one blonde in _particular_ that I definitely prefer.” 

“Then why has every girl you’ve been with been a brunette?” Marlene challenged, wanting to catch him out in the lie. It also occurred to her that there were probably lots of girls that she didn’t know about, but that wasn’t something she wanted to think about. To her surprise, Sirius blushed. 

“You’re going to laugh at me.” He said, sounding suddenly sheepish. 

“Because I’m really in the laughing mood.” Marlene said coldly. He’d brought his hands down to her hips but she didn’t pull away. 

“I desperately wanted them to be you.” He whispered. “I was worried that if any of them were blonde, it would make it harder…would make it hurt more because they weren’t.”

Marlene didn’t laugh. She grabbed the front of his robes and pulled him to her. Kissing him more hungrily than she ever had before. His words were bouncing around he inside of her skull. _He had desperately wanted those other girls to be her_. How did he always seem to know the words that would make her melt? She tangled her fingers through his hair, trying to pull him impossibly closer. She nipped his bottom lip and his groan seemed to vibrate through her soul. It was as if the kiss stretched to the end of time. Sirius lifted her and she wrapped her legs around his waist. The movement knocked a book from the shelf and Marlene reluctantly broke away.

“We’re in the library.” She whispered, unhooking her legs and looking over his shoulder. It didn’t look like anyone had seen them. Sirius’s breathing was ragged and his eyes were dark, so when he pressed his lips to hers, ever so gently, it took Marlene by surprise. 

“You have nothing to be jealous about, Marley. It’s always been you.” He murmured, tucking her hair behind her ear. 

“I’m _not_ jealous.” Marlene mumbled. She didn’t get jealous, certainly not over Sirius. He grinned knowingly and nodded.

“Of course you’re not.” He said placatingly, offering his hand for her to take. As she did Madam Pince came around the corner…lucky she wasn’t any earlier or she’d have probably banned them from the library. Sirius touched his fingers to his head and saluted the librarian as they hurried away. “James.” He said, stopping abruptly as they came face to face with him in the corridor outside the library.

“Marley.” James said, refusing to look at Sirius. She could feel Sirius’s good mood evaporate in an instant. She hated this, hated them not talking. And she got it, got why James was so angry, but it killed her that he was ignoring him like his. Especially when Sirius was guilt ridden over what he’d done, it would be different if he wasn’t remorseful, but she believed him when he talked about how sorry he was. She could see it on his face.

James pushed past them and Sirius watched him go. “He’s never going to speak to me again.” He mumbled.

“He will.” Marlene said, trying to sound more confident than she felt. “Just give him a little more time to calm down. I’ll talk to him. Make him see sense.”

“Yeah.” Sirius sighed, but he didn’t sound convinced.

“Come on, you want to help someone with their Transfiguration homework, you can help me.” She didn’t actually need it, she was happy with her essay, but reading over it might keep him distracted.


	162. 11th December 1976

Sirius flicked moodily through his motor cycle magazine, even that wasn’t making him feel better right now. Marlene was at Quidditch practice, Remus wasn’t talking to him, and Peter seemed to have taken their side. So he was just left to stew. He looked up as the dormitory door opened.

“I thought you could use some company.” Lily smiled, crossing the room and sitting down on his bed. 

“No offence, Lily, but if James comes here and finds you in my bed, he’ll kill me.” Sirius muttered.

“Oh relax, I’m _on_ your bed, not _in_ your bed.” Lily laughed, pulling her legs up and crossing them out in front of her. Sirius didn’t think James would see it quite that way. “Remus told me what happened.” 

“You know about him?” Sirius asked, he’d suspected as much.

“Yeah, for a while now. What were you thinking?” She asked sadly. Sirius let his head fall back against the wall, staring up at the velvet canopy.

“I don’t even know anymore.” He mumbled. The further way he got from it, the more he couldn’t believe what he’d done. He didn’t give a shit about Snivellus, that bastard deserved terrible things… _But Remus!_ “This is the worst thing I’ve ever done in my life. There isn’t anything I wouldn’t do to make it right, I just wish they’d tell me what it is.” 

“Oh Sirius.” Lily sighed.

“I thought you’d be screaming at me for trying to hurt Snivellus.” Sirius asked, looking back at her in time to see the battle travel across her face.

“I believe that you saw him try to kill Marlene.” She murmured. “I’m not saying that what you did was right, but if that was why, then I understand it.” 

“Thanks, Evans.” He said, managing a small smile. Lily shuffled up to his end of the bed and sat beside him. 

“It’s going to be alright, they’re going to forgive you.” She said kissing his cheek. Sirius bit down hard on his lip, his eyes suddenly feeling watery. He hadn’t expected this from her, he’d thought Marlene was the only person left talking to him. “What are you reading?”

“I’m trying to decide which bike to get.” He said, he was pretty sure he could make one fly but he wasn’t going to tell Lily that, he wasn’t sure she’d approve, especially because flying wasn’t really her thing.

“Want me to come with you when you’ve found one? Can’t have some Muggle taking advantage of the clueless wizard.” She grinned.

“Oh shut up.” He smiled, shoving her shoulder gently with his. The door opened again and James walked in.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.” He snapped, when he spotted them. He slammed the door behind him on his way back out and Sirius banged his head against the wall in frustration. 

“Don’t worry, I’ll talk to him.” Lily shrugged, reaching up to rub a comforting hand over the back of his head. “Now, which bikes do you like the look of?”


	163. 11th December 1976. II

James brushed snow of a bench in the courtyard and sat down. He could _sort of_ understand Marlene taking Sirius’s side, they were a couple now — and while he never would, he knew that if he begged Marlene to cut Sirius out, there was a pretty good chance she would — but _Lily_? He didn’t even think Lily _liked_ Sirius that much.

He just didn’t understand how Sirius could have done something like this? After everything Remus had been through… 

“Hi.” Lily whispered. “Can I sit?” James glanced up at her, she looked cold. He nodded and she sat down beside him on the bench. 

“You’re not wearing a coat.” He murmured. 

“I didn’t think you’d have sat outside in the snow.” She smiled. “You don’t really think there’s anything going on with me and Sirius do you?” 

“You looked pretty cozy in bed together.” He said, digging the toe of his shoe moodily into the snow. He didn’t _really_ think it… though it was ridiculous how good looking Sirius was, and he’d thought that he’d never have cheated on Marlene, but it seemed that maybe he was capable of betrayal.

“You’re insane.” Lily sighed exasperatedly. “And we weren’t _in_ his bed. He was just lonely, he misses you so much, and he’s so sorry.”

James took off his coat and wrapped it around her shoulders. He still had he’s Quidditch jumper on, he’d been fine, but Lily would freeze to death out here. “I just don’t understand how he could have done that—”

“Don’t you? I’m not saying what he did was right, but Severus could have killed Marley, are you honestly telling me that you never considered trying to get even?” Lily asked. James ran his hand through his hair. _Of course_ he’d thought about it. He wasn’t even sure if Sirius had really seen what he thought he had and he’d wanted to choke the life out of Snivellus. 

“This is different! It was a big joke to him, and he _used_ Remus to try and hurt Snivellus.” James snapped. “You weren’t down there, you don’t know how close it was. Remus never would have forgiven himself if he’d killed us. His life would have been over.”

“I know.” Lily murmured, sliding her hand down his arm and into his. “Sirius loves you and Remus so much… he just made a mistake.”

“I know.” James sighed. “I never thought I’d see the day that Lily Evans was coming to me plead Sirius Black’s case. There was a time you’d have been on Snivellus’s side of all this.”

“Yeah, well, he also called me a Mudblood—” 

“Don’t.” James said quickly, it sounded so much worse when she said it. “I suppose you can change your mind, you called me an ‘arrogant, bullying toerag’ and now you’re holding my hand.” 

“I am sorry about that.” Lily said, placing a kiss on his shoulder. 

“It was deserved… though the ‘stupid Snitch’ comment hurt.” He grinned.

“I’ll make it up to you later.” She laughed.

“So, you and Sirius, huh?” He asked, this was a friendship he hadn’t seen coming. He was glad of it, he and Sirius would get past this, he was sure of it, and it would be nice if, when he and Lily told people about their… whatever this was, if two of them got along. 

“You have nothing to worry about though. I fancy _you_.” Lily said. James would never get tired of hearing her say that.

“I’m sorry, I missed that, can you say it again?” He asked.

“I fancy you, James Potter.” She grinned.

“The giant squid will be disappointed.” He said. None of that afternoon had been his finest moment, but he felt particularly ashamed about throwing an ultimatum at her. It had been a shitty thing to do — like he was trying to force her to go out with him, and that wasn’t how he ever wanted Lily, how he _ever_ wanted her to feel.

“The giant squid will get over it.” She said, tilting his chin and kissing him softly.


	164. 14th December 1976

Sirius usually went to bed before his friends now, he had no reason to stay up with them anymore. He’d sit with Lily in the library or find a quiet corner in the castle with Marlene, but the other Marauders were usually still up when he went to bed. 

The common room was empty when he and Marlene snuck back in, but the fire was still lit and he was so tempted to just stay down here. “What are you doing?” Sirius asked as she sat down in one of the arm chairs and pulled her school bag towards her. 

“What I _should_ have been doing earlier.” She said, and Sirius smirked. He’d fantasised about having Marlene McKinnon on her knees in front of him, and she’d ended up being better than he’d even imagined. His eyes drifted down to her lips as she spoke and she blushed, looking away. “Go to bed.” She grinned. 

“You don’t want me to reciprocate?” He asked, trying to keep his voice innocent. Marlene bit her lip.

“Go to bed.” She said, though it looked like it caused her an incredible amount of effort to do so. 

“Goodnight.” He grinned, leaning down to kiss her cheek before climbing the stairs to his dormitory. As soon as he opened the door his friends stopped talking, and Sirius was sure the temperature physically dropped, right along with the good mood he’d been in. “Remus, can we talk?” He asked.

“I have nothing to say to you.” Remus hissed, yanking the curtains around his bed closed. 

“I’m sorry.” He mumbled, and turned to James. “I’m so sorry, you have no idea. Please, you have to believe me.” 

“No one wants you here, Padfoot.” Peter snapped. A spasm of pain seemed to flash across James’s face and for a moment Sirius was sure that he would tell Peter to shut up, sure that he was about to tell Sirius that it was going to be alright… but instead he got into bed and closed his own curtains. Sirius sighed and closed the door behind him. He settled down on stairs, he’d have to sit here until Marlene went to bed, and then sleep in the common room. If he went down now she’d have questions and he wasn’t in the mood to talk about it. The last thing he wanted was to fight with her too.


	165. 16th December 1976

James sunk down onto the bench in the changing room and rubbed the towel over his face. Ana had kept them out for an hour in the freezing rain. He was soaked through and it did nothing to help his miserable mood. 

“James?” Marlene asked. James looked up, the rest of the team seemed to have fled to the warmth of the common room. “Are you coming?” 

“I’d have thought you’d be running off to meet Sirius.” He muttered, letting his head fall back against the wall. He sounded sulky. He _was_ sulky and he knew that it wasn’t a good look on him but he couldn’t seem to stop himself.

“He’s so sorry about what he—”

“If I asked you to break up with him, would you do it?” James asked her sharply. Marlene stared at him, her face twisting in agony, and guilt flooded his stomach.

“Jamie.” She whispered, sitting down beside him and grabbing his hand.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean that.” He mumbled. That had been cruel. It wasn’t fair to try and make her choose. He’d promised himself that he wouldn’t, that he wouldn’t drag her in the middle of this fight that had nothing to do with her. 

“He hates himself for what he did… to Remus… to you…” Marlene said, and really, James knew that. He _knew_ Sirius, knew that this must be killing him. “And I don’t know about Remus, but I know that _you_ miss him.”

“No I don’t.” He snapped, avoiding Marlene’s eyes. “Yeah, I do. I miss him so much.” He finally admitted, running his free hand through his wet hair. “So does Remus, he’s just hurting.” 

Marlene kissed his cheek and he sat forward his head in his hands. “I’m really glad you didn’t die.” She said and he laughed. 

“Would you miss me?” He grinned at his shoes. 

“I’d be lost without you, Jamie.” Marlene said softly. “Go on, get changed. We’ll be a lot warmer in the common room.”

James got changed and together they braved the wind and rain, running as fast as they could back to the castle. The common room fire was the most welcoming sight. He looked around, Sirius was no where to be seen. He spotted Marlene’s face fall slightly but she hitched the smile back up quickly. They joined Peter, Dorcas and Mary at the arm chairs.

“You look frozen.” Mary said, getting up. “Here, have this one, it’s closer.”

“Oi, what about me?” James asked as Marlene switched chairs with her. “I’m cold too. Dorcas?” Without looking up from her book, Dorcas stuck her middle finger up at him. “You’re in a delightful mood.” 

“I am actually.” Dorcas grinned, looking up at him. She put her book down and warmed her hands tauntingly. “Nice and toasty too.”


	166. 17th December 1976

“Just go and apologise to them.” Lily whispered to Sirius, handing Marlene back her corrected Potions homework.

“I’ve tired.” Sirius muttered, looking longingly over at James and Remus in their usual armchairs. His heart ached with how much he missed them. This friendship that seemed to have sprung up with Lily had been an interesting surprise though. She also seemed to be the only person who believed that Snape had tried to kill Marlene — except Marlene herself; he wasn’t even sure anymore if his friends believed it. However, he wasn’t feeling nearly as guilty about what he’d done to Snape…it was what he’d done to Remus that was causing him to lie awake at night — and how close he’d coming to getting James killed.

“Fine, I’m going to bed. Have a good Christmas.” Lily said, picking Gary up off of her lap and crossing to the girls’ dormitory.

“Try again.” Marlene said, rubbing soothing circles into the back of his neck. Sirius pulled out of her reach, he felt too terrible to let her try and make him feel better. He wasn’t sure he even deserved to feel better. “They really miss you. James has said so…I don’t even think he’s actually angry anymore. Well, maybe a little bit, but mostly he just misses you.”

Sirius watched as James got up and crossed the room to them. “You’ve not packed yet.” James said, putting his hands awkwardly in his pockets.

“What?” Sirius asked.

“You’ve not packed, we’re going home for Christmas tomorrow and you’ve still not packed anything.” James muttered. Sirius stared up at him, he’d imagined that after what he’d done a couple weeks ago he’d be spending Christmas alone at Hogwarts. “You told Mum and Dad that you were coming home for Christmas, they’re expecting you.”

“Do you want me there?” Sirius asked, before he could stop himself. He wasn’t sure that he wanted to hear the answer if it was going to be ‘no.’ James didn’t say anything for a while, he seemed to be struggling for words.

“‘Course I do.” He finally muttered, walking away to the dormitories before Sirius could say anything else.

“I’m going to bed as well.” Marlene said, giving him a soft kiss. “Try and get some sleep tonight, okay?”

Sirius knew that he needed to pack, but instead he shot over to the chair that James had just vacated. As soon as he sat down Remus went to get up, but they were alone in the common room now and he needed to make the most of it. He dived across the table and grabbed Remus’s wrists, keeping him in place.

“Please, Remus.” He begged, desperately.

“Let me go.” He was back to his quiet calm at least.

“Not until you listen to me. I’m so sorry. Snivellus tried to murder Marlene, I know he did…and just…I wanted to hurt him. I wanted him to pay for it.” He stumbled.

“You wanted him dead but you were too much of a coward to kill him yourself?” Remus asked coldly. “Let go.”

Sirius ground his teeth, but he wasn’t going to let Remus provoke him. “I’m not a killer.”

“Neither am I, but you tried to turn me into one.”

“I never meant to, I just didn’t think it that far through.” He said.

“I trusted you, Sirius.” Remus muttered, he looked so betrayed; shame clawed at Sirius’s insides.

“Remus, I’m so sorry. Please.” He let go of him. He really hadn’t meant to hurt Remus like this or risk James’s life. Telling Snape how to get past the tree hadn’t been a spur of the moment decision by any means, but he really hadn’t thought about what that meant for his friend. “I’ll understand if you can’t forgive me, but I need you to know how sorry I am.”

“I know you are.” Remus sighed. It didn’t exactly sound like he was forgiven but Sirius would take whatever he could get. Remus hesitated at the door. “Don’t just sit there, James said you haven't packed.”

Sirius smiled slightly, following Remus up the stairs.


	167. 18th December 1976

Remus knew it wasn’t going to be good when the owl had flown up to the carriage window. The envelope contained Muggle money and a note telling him that his dad couldn’t leave his mum right now, and that he was to get a train up to Leeds. 

Sirius had offered to wait with him until his next train arrived, said he’d make his own way to James’s. Remus had thanked him for the offer and turned him down. He was trying to make up for it, for what he’d done.

He appreciated the gesture, but he wanted to be alone. 

The train ride to Leeds was lonely. Was she sick again? Or worse? He loved his dad, but he really fucking hated him. Remus dragged his trunk from the station, they didn’t live too far but it was still an effort. His front door seemed to be getting further away, not closer.

He heard a crash as he let himself in. He dropped his trunk in the doorway and hurtled round the corner and into the living room. Hope was standing among the shattered remnants of the mirror that hand hung over the fireplace, a small wolf statue in her hand. Her lip was bleeding.

“Hope, put it down.” Remus spun around to see his father on the opposite side of the room, his hands raised as though preparing to approach a spooked animal.

“Did you hit her?” Remus snarled at his father. 

“Of course I fucking didn’t.” Lyall snapped, ducking as the wolf missed his head by an inch. It broke against the wall. 

“Mummy.” Remus whispered, taking a tentative step towards her. 

“Remus!” She cried, darting forwards and throwing her arms around her. “Who is that man?” She whispered. Remus glanced back at his father. This was new, usually it was him who she didn’t remember. 

“Mum, that’s dad.” He said, because Lyall always tried to remind her who Remus was when she forgot. “It’s your husband. It’s Lyall.” 

“Lyall.” She said, although it sounded more like a question. He wrapped his arm around her waist and helped her into the kitchen, sitting her down on one of the chairs, wincing at the trail of blood left but her bare feet. 

“What happened to your face?” He asked, wetting the tea towel and dabbing it against her lip. Hope winced. “Sorry.” He muttered. 

“I fell into the mantlepiece.” She sighed. “I’m sorry. Sweetheart, I’m so sorry. I’m such a mess.” 

“It’s okay. You’re going to be okay.” Remus promised, but he was sure that it was a lie — as desperately as he wanted it to be true. “I’ll look after you.”

“Hope?” Lyall appeared in the doorway. 

“I’m sorry, Lyall.” Hope whispered, turning to him. “I don’t know what happened. I don’t know what’s happening to me.” Lyall strode over and wrapped his arms around her shoulders, kissing the top of her head.

“You have nothing to apologise for. I’m going to fix this, I promise.” Lyall murmured. Remus wished he could believe him, but he’d tried to fix it before.


	168. 19th December 1976

“Sirius, can you come in here for a moment.” Sirius jumped in the hallway, almost dropping his cup of tea. He hadn’t thought anyone else was up. He pushed open the living room door and saw Euphemia and Fleamont sitting on the sofa.

“Sorry, I didn’t realise you were awake, I’d have made you a—”

“Sit down, please.” Fleamont said, gesturing at the arm chair opposite. Sirius crossed the room and dropped down into the chair. He was gripping the mug with both hands so hard that it was burning his skin. This was it, they were going to kick him out. 

“We received a letter from Professor McGonagall, I imagine that the Headmaster sent one to your parents, but as you’re living here she felt that we should be informed.” Euphemia said. Sirius’s heart was pounding. “She told us that you played a prank on another student that nearly cost him his life, James’s too. Is that true?”

Sirius looked down at his knees, unable to meet their eyes. He would have told them about Marlene, they loved her, they would care, but he didn’t want it to sound like he was trying to make excuses. “It is, I’m so sorry. You have no idea how sorry I am.”

“Do you have any idea how serious—”

“I do.” Sirius said quickly, cutting Fleamont off. “And I never meant to risk your son’s life. I love James so much… I’ll go and pack my stuff.”

“We’re not throwing you out, this is your home.” Euphemia sighed, and Sirius stared at her. “But there will be consequences.” Sirius stiffened in his seat, trying to stamp down the rising panic. “You are to remain in the house until term starts again — except when you visit your uncle on Christmas Eve that is — and you are to write a letter of apology to the boy you played the prank on.”

“That’s— That’s it?” He frowned, looking between them. Writing an apology to Snivellus would be painful, but it wasn’t the same sort of painful punishment that his parents preferred. The Potters exchanged a glance.

“We’re not going to hurt you.” Fleamont said quietly and Sirius bit down hard on the inside of his mouth, trying to blink away the tears that had welled up. 

“I really am sorry.” Sirius whispered. They got up and Euphemia patted his shoulder as they left the room. Sirius hated that he flinched.


	169. 21st December 1976

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for discussion of past abuse

Marlene stepped out of the Potters fire and dusted herself off. The house was quiet but she was sure that Sirius would be here. The sound of her heels echoed around the hallway; high heels and the jumper that she’d stolen from Sirius was all that she had on, but she’d wasted a good half hour debating whether she should, or if he’d think it was stupid. Marlene climbed the stairs and knocked on his bedroom door.

“Yeah?” He asked. She opened it and grinned at how quickly he sat up.

“Mr and Mrs Potter are out with my parents, and James has taken Nicole last minute Christmas shopping, I thought you could use some company.” She smiled, though he’d not taken his eyes off of her legs so she wasn’t sure how much he was actually listening to her. She glanced at the parchment on his desk, it just said ‘ _Dear Snivellus_ ’. “The apology letter’s going well then?” James had told her this morning, he’d barely been able to get it out he was laughing so much.

“I’m taking a break.” Sirius huffed, flopping back down against the pillows. 

“How about, ‘ _Dear Snivellus, I’m sorry that you’re a greasy little prick_ ’?” Marlene grinned as she crossed to the bed, and the corners of Sirius’s mouth twitched up. He was in a bad mood but she could fix that.

“I’m not sure that’d go down too well.” He said, skimming his finger up the back of her thigh and along the slight crease where her leg met her bum. Marlene’s breath hitched slightly.

“You’re not wearing any underwear, are you?” Sirius asked, and she noticed the change in his voice. 

“No, I’m not.” She smirked, letting out a little scream as he tugged her down on top of him. Sirius tangled his fingers in her hair as his kissed her, and Marlene slid her hands under his t-shirt, breaking the kiss only to pull it off over his head. Sirius brought his hands down and slipped them under the jumper, his fingers brushing over her ribs, her heart was pounding.

“Can we talk about something first?” He asked, breaking away. Marlene settled herself down on his groin, he groaned when she shifted slightly. 

“It doesn’t _feel_ like you want to talk.” She smirked, and she watched the war he was having with himself play out on his face for a moment. “Fine.” She sighed. “What do you want to talk about?”

“I want you to know that you can tell me anything, it’s not going to change how I feel… what ever might have—” He broke off, seeming to struggle for the right words. Marlene stared at him in confusion and then it dawned on her.

“Is this about Craig?” She snapped. Why was he bringing _him_ up now. “What are you doing? You don’t want to deal with your own misery so you’re poking at me instead? Look, I’m sorry that had sex with someone else, I didn’t think you were one of those creeps that only wanted to shag vir—”

“I don’t care that you had sex with someone else, I care that you might not have wanted to!” Sirius shouted over her. The silence that followed was deafening. Her heart was pounding again, but this time she wanted to bolt. “Marley.” He whispered. “I’m just trying to say that you can talk to me.” 

Marlene shifted off of him, kicked off her shoes and tucked her legs under his duvet, suddenly feeling incredibly exposed. “It wasn’t like that.” She mumbled, shaking her head. Not sure which of them she was trying to convince more. She slid down against the pillows and stared up at the ceiling; Sirius had rolled onto his side to look at her and she wished that he wouldn’t. “Why are you picking at scabs?”

“I’m not saying you have to talk about it, but I’m here if you want to.” He said kindly, and Marlene found herself having to blink away tears. 

“It wasn’t like that.” She said again, it felt more like a lie every time.

“What happened?” He asked.

“Which time?” The air around them stilled. She could feel herself being pulled back into the pattern of trying to protect Craig, and that was the last thing she wanted. He was terrible; he had been terrible to her. 

“The night you came back from the Christmas holidays last year?” Sirius asked after a moment. “You got into a fight about us.” He added, as though she needed help remembering.

“He took my wand, and pushed me down over a desk, I told him not to but…” She trailed off, the monotony of her voice was quite unlike her own. “He did it anyway.”

“You said he didn’t force you.” Sirius muttered, and she couldn’t bring herself to look at him.

“You were already angry at him, I didn’t want to make it worse.” Marlene shrugged. 

“And when we found you upset in the kitchens? A book didn’t really fall on your face did it?” He asked, but she was sure that he hadn’t ever really believed that excuse. She shook her head.

“He threw it at me.” She sighed. “He wanted me to go up to bed with him, but I said no because I didn’t want to have sex in front of other people and all his friends were up there. He had his arm against my throat, I couldn’t breath. And then when he put his hand down my knickers I—”

“Kneed him in the balls?” Sirius asked, and she could hear a slight smile in his voice, seeping into the fury. 

“Yeah.” 

“Why didn’t you tell anyone any of this?” He murmured, reaching up to tuck her hair behind her ear. Marlene shrugged again, but she knew it wasn’t really an answer. 

“I don’t know.” She said. “Look, he hurt me a lot, but I broke up with him. It’s done.” She didn’t want to talk about it anymore, not right now. She didn’t think it _mattered_ anymore, but she was sure that Sirius would disagree on that one. “And to think,” She added lightly. “We could have been shagging right now, but you went and killed the mood.” 

Sirius leant forward and kissed her gently. “I’m sure we’ll get plenty more moments. I can’t leave the house, there’s not much else for me to do.”

“Except write an apology letter to Snivellus.” She grinned, and Sirius pulled a disgusted face.


	170. 25th December 1976

The Potters were hosting Christmas this year, which worked out well for Marlene as it meant that she could spend the day with Sirius after all. He, the three Potters and the five McKinnons were all sat in the living room exchanging presents and drinking sherry (though after Nicole had taken a sip from her glass and pulled a face at the taste, Beatrice finished hers off). James chucked a present across the room for Nicole to catch; he’d still bothered wrapping it even though every year he gave her a bag of Nik Naks from the Muggle shop down the road.

“Thanks.” She grinned. It was a pretty subpar present, but Marlene knew that Nicole liked that she got a joke present even though James was Marlene’s friend, and especially because he’d never gotten Jeremy anything.

“Don’t eat them before dinner.” Gordon warned.

Marlene handed Sirius his and he unwrapped a copy of _The Picture of Dorian Gray_. He opened the first page. “ _Just in case I bore you on our next date_ ”, he read with a laugh and kissed her cheek. “Not much chance of that.” He handed her a small box, mumbling that it wasn’t much, but inside was little silver lion on a chain. ‘Not much’ didn’t really feel accurate.

“It’s beautiful, thank you.” She smiled, as he helped her fasten the neckless’s clasp. Sirius went to take the book up to his room and in the distraction of the table being set, Marlene followed him. He turned at the sound of the door closing behind her. “You’re a lot tidier here than you are anywhere else.” She grinned, looking around. His clothes were all put away and his bed made. A stark contrast to how his room at Grimmuald Place had been, and his dormitory…though the latter wasn’t entirely his fault.

“Yeah, well, I still feel like a bit of a guest here.” He shrugged. “You look really nice, by the way.” Marlene spun on the spot, the hem of her velvet dress floating around her thighs.

“You don’t look so bad yourself, not sure there’s many guys who can pull off a burgundy waistcoat quite so well.” She said.

“I look good in everything.” He laughed. Nothing too, she imagined. He waved his wand and mistletoe sprouted from the ceiling above their heads.

“Any excuse, Black?” Marlene asked, closing the distance between them. The kiss was heated, another that she could add to the bank in her mind of kisses to play back while she was alone in the dark. She was slightly taller than him in the high heels that she was wearing today but he didn’t seem to care...anyway, height became irrelevant when he gently pushed her down onto the bed.

“If you want to stop any time, just say so. No pressure.” He said seriously; he was trying so hard not to be Craig, but he didn’t have to worry.

“I know.” She said, kissing just below his jaw as she undid the buttons of his waistcoat. Sirius nudged her knees apart and slipped a hand into her knickers. She gasped against his skin. He was good at this.

“Mum says dinner’s—” James said, opening the bedroom door but breaking off suddenly and turning his back. Sirius pulled away as quickly as if he’d been burned and placed a pillow over his lap. “—ready.” James finished faintly. “Seriously?! When we’re all sitting downstairs?” 

Marlene stood up, straightening her dress. “Would it have killed you to knock?” She muttered. “Sirius, are you coming?” She asked. James’s shoulders began to shake in a fit of silent giggles at her poor word choice.

“I’ll catch you up, I’m going to need a minute.” Sirius said, flushing a horrible clash with the burgundy he was wearing.

Throughout dinner, every time James caught Marlene’s eye they had to suppress their laughter, she was sure that she’d cracked a rib with the effort. It took until dessert for Sirius’s embarrassment to turn into amusement. She wondered if the problem was that James had caught him with her specifically, he’d never seemed to be this embarrassed at being caught with other girls. After they’d eaten, they moved back to the living room and split themselves into pairs for Mrs Potter’s Christmas quiz, it had been several years since Marlene’d had a Christmas with Mr and Mrs Potter but it was a tradition that she loved.

“I’m going with Sirius!” Nicole said quickly, throwing herself onto the sofa beside him.

“What about me, Nik Nak?” James asked, his hand on his heart as though she had mortally wounded him.

“I’m just more handsome.” Sirius grinned.

“Your loss Nic. I’m smarter than both those idiots.” Marlene said, but Nicole just shrugged.

After the quiz, came chess with a couple of sets they’d gotten in the crackers. Marlene watched as Jeremy tried to coach Nicole to a victory over James. She was doing so well that Marlene half expected James to call for Sirius to help him out; Sirius was the best of them at chess — though for a while now he usually refused to play. She sort of understood why, chess had been something he’d done with Narcissa, she’d taught him how to play, they’d played together all the time, and now Narcissa had just completely removed herself from his life. Marlene looked around, wondering where he’d gone. She took the bottle of Champagne from the bucket and topped up Mrs Potter’s glass on her way out of the room. In the kitchen she spotted him through the patio doors. She slid them open and stepped out into the cold night air.

“It’s snowing.” Sirius said, and she reached up to brush it off of his shoulders. He hadn’t put a coat on and she touched his cheek. He felt too cold, what was he thinking, standing out here all alone? She had a nagging suspicion and it always left her feeling so helpless.

“Might even settle.” Marlene said, they’d be ankle deep by now if they were back in Scotland; there was just something so magical about winter at Hogwarts. “What are doing out here all by yourself? Nicole is thrashing James at chess, of course Jeremy’s helping her, they’d probably be quite evenly matched without him…” She was rambling now. He was in one of his moods, and she wasn’t sure how to deal with them…those times when he got quiet and withdrawn; the dark, bleak moods that left her fearful that she’d never see that smile she loved so much ever again. They were few and far between, and they never lasted. But even so, she wanted to pull him out of his own head.

“I just needed five minutes, I didn’t want to bring anyone down so I just slipped out.” Sirius shrugged. He took her glass from her and had a sip of the Champagne.

“Do you want me to leave you alone?” Marlene asked.

“Don’t you dare.” He said quietly, she laced her fingers with his and squeezed his hand. They watched the snow fall around them, Celestina Warbeck had been replaced by a soft instrumental number which meant that her father had commandeered the gramophone. “Would you like to dance?”

“What?” Marlene laughed.

“It’s this thing were someone moves in time to the music—”

“Shut up.” She groaned, rolling her eyes. He was trying, she was sure of it, trying to force himself into a better mood so he wouldn’t worry her. She wanted to tell him that he didn’t have to do that, but she couldn’t find the words. Sirius set her glass down on the patio table and lifted her hand to back his shoulder. He placed a hand on her hip and took her other hand in his. They started to move. Marlene doubted that either of them were any good, but she didn’t care. Sirius spun her around the skirt of her velvet dress lifted around her thighs again.

“Did I mention that I like your dress?” He asked, a grin turning up the corner of his mouth.

“You mentioned something like that. Did I mention that you look good in burgundy?” Marlene smiled, sliding her hand down from his shoulder to fiddle with one of the buttons of his waistcoat.

“You did mention it, yeah. And like I said, I look good in every—” He said, but Marlene cut him off with a kiss. They jumped at the flash of a camera and saw James stood in the kitchen.

“Go away, James.” Sirius muttered.

“Hey, I was taking photos of you two dancing, it’s not my fault you started kissing.” James shrugged. “I think I should stay here though, the neighbours are going to complain if you start having sex on the lawn.”

“We’re going to have a falling out if you keep interrupting us, Jamie.” Marlene muttered, leading Sirius back inside.


	171. 27th December 1976

_Dear Snape,_

_I have come to realise that setting you up to come face to face with a werewolf was not an appropriate way to seek revenge after you tried to murder my girlfriend._

_I am dreadfully sorry that you almost got hurt. I would have missed you terribly if you had met an untimely end._

_Your dear friend,  
Sirius Black_

Sirius set down his quill and reread the letter. It was short, sarcastic, and insincere, and it had still taken him almost a fucking week. He couldn’t send this, as much as he wanted to. It wasn’t _fair_. He knew that he sounded like a child, but Snivellus had just gotten away with what he’d done.

_Snape,_

_I’m sorry you could have died. It was wrong of me to set you up to come face to face with a werewolf._

_Sincerely,  
Sirius Black_

That would have to do, he doubted it was even close to what Fleamont and Euphemia’d had in mind, but he didn’t know what else to say. He _was_ sorry, he wasn’t a killer, that wasn’t who he wanted to be. But it didn’t change the fact that he _hated_ Snivellus. 

Sirius rolled up the parchment and attached it to the leg of the Potters’ owl. He watched it fly out of the window, glad that it had gone before Euphemia asked to see it. He got up and threw himself down on the bed. He could feel that dark and miserable mood pulling him under. It was ridiculous, he loved it here, loved the Potters, he’d had a good Christmas. He and James were okay again, he and Remus would be. And yet he felt so cold, so tired.


	172. 3rd January 1977

James sat with his feet up on the opposite seat as they travelled back to Hogwarts. Every so often he let go of the Snitch for a moment before diving forwards to catch it. Peter was watching him, but James noticed he was a lot quieter, probably because Sirius had taken the piss last time. 

“Who are you showing off for, James?” Marlene asked, looking up from her Defence Against the Dark Arts book.

“Yeah James, Evans isn’t here.” Sirius grinned, reaching forward to take hold of Marlene’s wrist, tugging her across to sit on his lap. Marlene gave him an irritated shove but settled into him. 

“I don’t _show off_ for Evans.” James muttered, but that felt like the biggest lie he had ever told. “Shut up.”

“Speak of the devil.” Marlene grinned, and James looked up quickly as the compartment door slid open and Lily and Remus joined them. He’d not seen Remus yet today, he looked terrible but it was the full moon in a couple of days so he supposed that was to be expected. 

“McGonagall wants a word with you when we get back to school.” Lily said.

“Who me?” Sirius asked.

“No, James.” Lily said, taking the seat next to Peter. James wished she’d sit by him. He’d missed her over Christmas. Maybe they could find an excuse to sneak off together somewhere on the train. But there was no way there would be anything believable, she was doing the rounds with Remus. 

“Wait, what?” James asked, registering what she’d actually said. “What have I done?” He _hadn’t_ done anything. He’d been good. Well, mostly.

“It’s probably nothing bad, she’s just gone off Sirius, needs a new favourite.” Peter grinned. 

“Oh shut up.” Sirius muttered, aiming a kick at him, but the movement was hampered by Marlene. James watched as he tried to push Marlene off his lap — to sulk sullenly out of the window, he expected — but Marlene didn’t let him. 

“ _I_ like you.” She grinned, kissing the corner of his mouth, and this seemed to relax him again slightly.

“Wait for me?” James asked Lily quietly as they walked up the marble staircase.

“Why?” She asked, raising her eyebrows, her eyes sparkling, a slight smirk on her face. James swallowed. He could think of a variety of exciting possibilities.

“It might be bad news. I could need comforting.” He grinned, before veering off in the direction of McGonagall’s office, sure that Lily was still watching him. He knocked on her door and she called him inside. James was surprised to see Ana there too.

“Take a seat, Mr Potter.” McGonagall said. James frowned slightly, but dropped into the chair opposite her. “Miss Scott is stepping down as Gryffindor Quidditch captain, she has recommended you as her replacement.” 

“You’re quitting the team?” James asked quickly, twisting in his seat to look at her. He noticed now that she looked upset.

“No, just the captaincy.” She said quietly.

“What’s going on here?” He asked.

“It’s too much stress for me right now. I can’t cope with the extra responsibly. And you’ll be good at it, you’ve been my right hand since I was made captain.” Ana said, her eyes tearful. James shifted uncomfortably, hoping that she wasn’t about to start crying. This was _Ana_ , she didn’t cry. 

“I don’t understand.” He said, and he saw her nod ever so slightly at McGonagall. 

“Miss Scott’s parents have removed their children from the school. They are allowing her to remain until she completes her NEWTs this summer.” McGonagall explained. 

“ _Why_?” 

“They’re scared.” Ana mumbled. “They’ve all gone back to Portugal to live with my mother’s family. Dad is going to collect me as soon as I finish my last exam.” 

“I’m sorry.” He murmured quietly. She was here all alone, it must be horrible. McGonagall held out the captain’s badge and James hesitated. “Are you sure about this?” He asked Ana, and when she nodded he took the badge, still feeling guilty about it.

McGonagall went over a couple of details with him before she asked Ana to wait while she discussed her Transfiguration essay. At the end of the corridor he spotted Lily; she’d actually waited for him.

“What happened?” She asked. James glanced back at McGonagall’s office, still not quite sure.

“I’m Quidditch captain." He murmured, brushing his fingers against hers, and desperately wanting to take her had. “Ana stepped down.” He added, showing her the badge.


	173. 4th January 1977

“We’re going to lose this war, aren’t we?” Peter asked gloomily, reaching for another slice of toast. 

“Yeah.” Marlene said, taking the paper from him, all five of the Armstrong siblings (along with their families) had been murdered — the way Dorcas relayed all the stuff Moody told her about the Order of the Phoenix, that sounded like a good chunk of the organisation. “But that’s why we need to fight. We need to fight because we know that we’re going to lose, _especially_ because we know that we’re going to lose.”

“So you want to be a sacrifice?” Peter grinned, but Marlene didn’t laugh.

“I prefer martyr, but sure, fine, I guess sacrifice works too.” She shrugged, and Peter shifted uncomfortably in his chair, clearly he didn’t feel the same way. She looked at James. “Tell me I’m wrong?” 

“I can’t.” He murmured. “We have to fight because what else is there?” 

“It’s more than that though! We have to stand up and refuse.” Marlene said, not caring that people were starting to stare at her. “It’s not just ‘what else is there.’ We know right from wrong. And they’re just wrong. We have to fight _because_ we know we’re going to lose this war.” She glared around, daring any of them to contradict her. 

“Alastor says more people are joining up, I asked to, but he said Dumbledore won’t let me until I’ve finished school—”

“Well as soon as I finish my exams next year I’ll be in Dumbledore’s office.” Marlene muttered, tossing the paper aside. “We can’t stand for this shit.” 

“He told me Craig joined up. You know, your Craig.” Dorcas said quietly. Marlene froze, her hand on the jug of orange juice. 

“He’s not _my_ Craig.” Marlene hissed. She knew Dorcas hadn’t said it like that to be cruel but that still stung a little. “Well, I suppose the Order are hardly in a position to turn down members just because they’re arseholes.” She pushed away her breakfast, no longer hungry. “I’m going back to the common room.” She said abruptly. She’d been intending to spend her free period in the library with them, but she didn’t feel like working right now.

*

“Don’t fancy the library like a good student?” Sirius asked, when he spotted Marlene in his armchair in the empty common room. He’d slept through breakfast and had been considering going down to the kitchens to see if the elves would be so kind as to feed him — they always were.

“Nope.” Marlene said, looking up. There was something off with her. Sirius climbed into the armchair to sit behind her and she leant back into him. He brushed back her hair and rubbed his thumb against the base of her skull and she let out a sigh.

“What’s the matter?” It was easier to focus on her problems than face his own, especially because half the time he didn’t even _know_ what was wrong with him. How could he even begin to explain it to other people when he barely understood it himself. 

“Dorcas said that Craig has joined the Order of the Phoenix.” Marlene muttered. Sirius stilled his thumb. 

“ _What?_ ” His voice coming out as a growl. “But he’s a rapist.” Marlene flinched at the word. She’d not called him that; whether she didn’t think it was true, or she was worried that saying it would make it too real, Sirius didn’t know, but she’d told the bastard to stop and he hadn’t. It was the only word for him. 

“But apparently not a Death Eater.” Marlene said lightly, recovering herself. Sirius couldn’t see her face, but she was tense in his arms. He knew the levity was just for show, a defence mechanism. 

“Well, it’s a dangerous world out there, maybe Voldemort will finish him off.” He said. Marlene laughed, before quickly covering her mouth.

“Does it make me a terrible person to hope for that?” She asked, tracing patterns on his knee. 

“If it does, then we can be terrible people together.” Sirius shrugged, kissing her her temple. He certainly wouldn’t lose any sleep if Craig Platt met an untimely end.


	174. 14th January 1977

Lily spotted James walking just ahead of her in the corridor, a bottle of Firewhisky in each hand. He wasn’t even trying to be discreet, he was Quidditch captain now, she’d have thought that would have come with some sense of responsibility…

“Potter!” She called, aiming for her old levels of irritation with him that she had lately been struggling to reach. He turned, and very unsuccessfully tried to hide the bottle behind his back.

“Alright Evans?” He grinned, that wonderful cocky grin. “Are you going to give me a detention?” He asked, the innocence in his tone didn’t fool her for a second. Oh the possibilities, having him alone in a classroom… Lily swallowed, trying to pull her mind back out of the gutter.

“I could.” She warned him. “In fact, I should.”

“Do I get to do the detention with you?” He smirked, and Lily felt her cheeks turn pink, her thoughts must have been painfully obvious on her face. She opened her mouth to respond when she heard the footsteps. She glanced quickly behind her, then back at James, before opening a broom cupboard and beckoning him inside. She didn’t _really_ want him to get detention — unless, of course, it was with her. 

It was pitch black with the door closed, the space so small that her body was pressed up against his, her lips could barely be half an inch from his collarbone. Together they listened as McGonagall and Sprout talked right outside their door. James shifted around quietly, and then she could feel him bring the bottle of Firewhisky up to take swig. She rolled her eyes, there were teachers _right outside_. Lily bit her lip, and then in a moment of daring she found his hand in the dark and took the bottle from him. The liquid was wonderfully warm and it slid down her throat.

“Prefect.” James whispered, she could feel the smile as his lips brushed against her earlobe. Her breath hitched and she tightened her grip on the neck of the bottle. Eventually, they heard Sprout and McGonagall move along. 

“I’ve decided to take your advice, James, and you know, live a little.” She said, turning to open the door. Nothing happened. 

“Um, Lils?” He asked, and Lily pulled out her wand 

“Shh. Alohomora.” She said. She tried the handle again but nothing. “I think we’re stuck.”

“Are you sure you’re doing the spell cor—” He broke off, Lily raised her eyebrows, though she knew he wouldn’t be able to see the look she was giving him.

“What was that, James?” She challenged, turning back to him, her hand on her hip.

“I didn’t say a thing, you must be hearing things Lily.” He grinned. “It’s fine, someone will be along eventually, when they do we’ll just start banging against the door… I didn’t mean that.” He added quickly as Lily dissolved into a fit of giggles.

“I suppose you sort of bought me a drink first.” She said, taking a sip from the bottle and handing it back. He shifted again and she assumed that he’d set the bottle down.

“I get all flustered and make a fool of myself around you, is it nice to tease me for that?” He challenged.

“I didn’t think you minded me teasing you?” She grinned, reaching up to play with the collar of his shirt, scraping her nails gently over his skin.

“Lily.” James groaned. He took a step forward, using his body to push hers against the wall. His lips travelled across her skin, searching for her mouth in the darkness. Lily reached up, tangling her fingers in his hair, tugging as he deepened the kiss. She felt his hands on the back of her thighs and he lifted her, wrapping her legs around his waist. When his hands slid up her body to find her breasts she gasped into the kiss. She had just been about to unbutton his shirt when she froze, she could hear footsteps again. Unhooking her legs, she dropped back down to the floor. “Wha—” He began but she covered his mouth with her hand.

“Someone’s coming. Quick, hide the bottles.” She whispered. “Hello!” She shouted, slapping the palm of her hand against the wood. “We’re stuck in here! Can you let us out?” The door burst open and light flooded the space, Lily shielded her eyes, and as they adjusted, she saw that she was stood face to face with Severus. James was going to be in his fucking element. Severus eyes travelled over her, and she was suddenly very aware that she looked a mess, there’d be no doubt as to what they’d been doing. 

“Good man, Snivellus. Thanks for that.” He smirked, shifting to let Lily out before him. 

“Thanks.” She said. “Went to put a bucket back and got stuck.” She shrugged, though she was sure he wouldn’t believe her. Lily hesitated for a moment before hurrying back down the corridor, James close behind.


	175. 23rd January 1977

Marlene hooked her arm around his four poster and leant to the side. “My parents won’t be home for hours.” She smirked, even though James was two months younger than her so it made even less sense. Sirius frowned, looking up from his book.

“Your parents— Oh, James.” He laughed. She swung round to sit on his bed. “And what about Remus and Peter?” 

“What’s life without a little risk?” Marlene grinned, crawling up the bed to lean against him. She was sure he was trying vary hard to keep the look of concentration on his face as he read, but Marlene wasn’t fooled…she knew he was playing with her. She trailed her finger along his nose. “Is that book really more interesting than your girlfriend…in your bed…when we’re all alone?” The corner of his mouth twitched just a fraction.

“You were right, it’s a very good book.” He said. Marlene sighed and propped herself up on her elbow. 

“Am I really going to have to take my own clothes off?” She challenged. His eyes flicked to look at her for second, raking down her body, seemingly before he could stop himself. Sirius turned back to the front page.

“ _Just in case I bore you on our next date._ ” He read the inscription that she’d written and Marlene snatched the book away in frustration. Sirius laughed and turned onto his side. 

“I hate you so much.” She muttered, flopping irritably onto her back. Sirius traced a finger along her collarbone and she shivered.

“I love you, Marlene McKinnon.” He whispered. Marlene sat up so quickly she headbutted his jaw. “Ouch!” He muttered, rubbing his face and rolling onto his back.

“What did you say?” She asked, she _knew_ what she’d heard, and yet…

“I love you.” He said again, this time through gritted teeth, as though he was starting to think better of it. “I thought I needed some grand gesture, maybe burn it into the grounds and take you up the astronomy tower to see — actually, shit, that would have been quite cool — but I just need this, I just need you.” 

“You love me?” She asked, unable to keep it from sounding like an accusation. “Why?”

“You actually want a list?” Sirius laughed. 

“I—” Actually, a list could be fun. “Is this some sudden realisation that you’ve come to?” 

“No, I just didn’t know when to tell you…how to tell you. First you were with _him_ , and then I thought I’d scare you off. I considered telling you after you came off your broom in November. But I know what you’re like, you’d think I was only saying it because you nearly died.”

“When then?” Marlene frowned, wondering how long he’d been keeping this revelation to himself.

“You actually saw it before I did.” Sirius said, tucking her hair behind her ear. She felt herself start to melt under the intensity of his gaze. “You stopped yourself from saying it, but you started to tell me to stop looking at you like I’m in love with you…”

“When—” His words pricked at a memory that she couldn’t quite place.

“I like your socks.” He whispered. 

“You’ve know you’re in love with me for over a year and you’re only telling me now?” Marlene demanded, now remembering the moment exactly. She’d been so embarrassed that he’d seen her looking so ridiculous when he always looked flawless. She spent half her time thinking that he was going to get bored of her and go back to Florence, or Vivian, or Rachel, or any number of other girls that swooned over him. She supposed there was still a chance, but it seemed less likely if he really was in love with her. “I hate you so—” But then he was kissing her, his fingers tugging at her hair, before sliding down to grip her thigh. His touch seemed to burn though her clothes. Sirius Black was in love with her. She broke away to pull his jumper off over his head, and he’d just got all the buttons on her shirt undone when the dormitory door opened.

“ _Seriously?_ ” James snapped…it was the Christmas Day kiss all over again. He slammed the door closed behind him and Marlene’s laughter took quite a while to subside. James walking in on them was becoming quite a ridiculous reoccurrence now.

“You didn’t say it back.” Sirius eventually whispered, pressing his forehead into her shoulder. Marlene swallowed, her heart was pounding. He seemed too afraid to look at her. She traced patterns on the back of his neck, pondering her answer. She felt the same way, of course she did.

“No.” Marlene said softly. “I didn’t.” Sirius froze, and Marlene pushed him off of her. “I need to move the bed.” She said, getting up.

“What?” He frowned, looking hurt. 

“Get up, I need to move the bed.” She said again. Sirius, looking rather confused, got to his feet and Marlene pointed her wand at the bed. It slid a foot from the wall and she grinned, showing him the words she’d scratched behind the headboard. _Marlene McKinnon loves Sirius Black_.

“When did you write that?” Sirius asked, staring at it. “Marlene, when—” But she was already closing the dormitory door on her way out…not that it was a competition, but it was definitely a competition, and she’d won.


	176. 2nd February 1977

“I hate theory lessons.” Sirius muttered, when Professor Ormond told them all to get out their books and turn to the chapter on the Imperius curse. 

“Yeah well, has to be with the Unforgivables, doesn’t it?” James shrugged. He was right of course, and Sirius had no interest in trying any of them out. But still, Defence Against the Dark Arts practical lessons were usually a high point of the week. 

“We all know Mulciber’s a fucking expert with this one.” He whispered, glaring at him across the room. “Him and Avery.” When they’d all filed into the classroom he’d noticed that Mary had seated herself so far away from them that if she stayed still too long she might become part of the brick wall, so James and Sirius had sat in front of her, hoping she'd feel a little more secure. 

“Plus side of a theory lesson,” James mused. “Marley can’t show you up.” 

“Oh shut up.” Sirius said, trying not to grin. He didn’t really mind that she was better at him in this subject, honestly, he thought it was pretty hot. There was a knock on the door and McGonagall entered. 

“Ravi, can I borrow Sirius Black?” She asked, and Ormond nodded, gesturing at Sirius.

“I think she’s going to make you Quidditch captain.” Peter grinned. “Sorry James, I think you’ve been fired.” 

“Fuck off, Wormy.” James said. "He's a shit flyer and I'm a great captain."

“Watch your language, Mr Potter.” McGonagall said.

"I'm not as shit as you, Wormy, you know the broom is suppose to go higher that two feet off the ground right?" Sirius smirked, and Peter turned red. Anyway, Peter was talking out his arse; so maybe he wasn't as good as James, but he had no interest in being on the Gryffindor team anyway, so it didn't matter. Sirius stuffed his book back into his bag. What the fuck had he done this time? He’d been keeping his head down after what he'd done last term, trying to prove himself to her again. So what the fuck had he done now?

“I wasn’t me, Professor.” He said quickly as he followed her down the corridor. She didn’t say anything until they reached her office.

“Take a seat.” She said, opening the door. Sirius froze.

“Andromeda?” He asked, his cousin looked around, her eyes red. She’d been crying. “What is this? What’s happened? Wait, is Dora okay?” He demanded, looking around quickly, hoping to see the little girl, but she wasn’t there.

“Dora’s fine.” Andromeda said quickly. Sirius breathed a sigh of relief and dropped into the seat beside her.

“I’m sorry to have to tell you,” McGonagall began. “But your Uncle Alphard has died.”

“What did you say?” Sirius asked. She was wrong, there was some sort of mistake. He’d been there on Christmas Eve, Alphard was fine. 

“Barney called me last night.” Andromeda whispered, taking hold of his hand but he snatched it away. None of this was making any sense. He was young, healthy. Someone must have done something to him. 

“Hang on, how did he—”

“The Dark Mark was over their home.” McGonagall said gravely, and Sirius felt the floor fall out from beneath him. Alphard had never done anything to anyone, he was kind, and funny, and he’d been one of the only people that Sirius knew loved him. 

“Barney wants to have the funeral on Saturday—”

“That’s in a few days!” He was in school, he looked at McGonagall, would he be allowed to go? She must have noticed the panic on his face.

“You will be allowed to attend, of course.” McGonagall said kindly.

“And he wants to get the will sorted on Sunday… He says there’s probably going be a problem with it.” Andromeda said, and Sirius was shocked to see that she was smiling. “I have a feeling that he’s cut most of the family out.” 

Sirius grinned, despite everything. Oh his mother was going to be _thrilled_. 

“I have to return to my third years.” McGonagall said. “Sirius, you are excused from classes for the rest of the day. And I am so sorry for your loss.” She added, before sweeping past them and carefully closing the door. 

“I guess it’s just us now.” He murmured, glancing at Andromeda, and trying to swallow down the lump that was forming in his throat. She reached out and took his hand, he wished she wouldn’t, it made it harder not to cry. But this time he didn’t pull away.


	177. 6th February 1977

Sirius had tried to talk to Regulus on the way to funeral the previous day, he’d hoped that away from the rest of the Slytherins and before they were around the rest of the family again, that he might be able to get through to him, to let him know that he had choice, that he didn’t have to follow Bella’s example. 

But Regulus had acted like he wasn’t there. And he was doing the same today. 

He’d wished Marlene could have joined him this weekend, it would have been nice to have her to lean on, but he didn’t want her anywhere near his family ever again, they were so vile and she was just so good — plus, it would have made a pretty miserable birthday for her, he couldn’t do that.

Sirius was barely listening as Barney began to read Alphard’s will… his mother had her eyes fixed greedily on the parchment. He gripped his wand tightly under the table, sure that any second she would turn on him, punish him for his Muggle clothes, or his disobedience… He doubted it mattered to her that she’d disowned him already. 

“—to my partner, Barney Abbott—” Barney read, Sirius wondered if it was strange for him, as the executor, to read out his own bequeathal. Cygnus snorted at the word partner and Sirius felt an intense urge to curse him. “—I leave my half of the apartment that we shared in London. To my niece, Andromeda, I leave all of the Black family heirlooms in my vault, feel free to sell them if you wish, but if you do, use some of the money to set Nymphadora up after she finishes school. And finally—” There was a ripple around the room, there were far more people here than were clearly named in the document. Sirius slumped back in the chair, pushing back on its back legs. He wanted to get back to school, make it up to Marley for missing her birthday. “to my nephew Sirius. I leave all of my gold.”

“ _What?_ ” His mother snarled. Sirius let the chair fall forwards, the front legs hit the wooden floor with a slam. 

“I don’t understand.” Sirius frowned. 

“Alphie was worried about your future after you were kicked out.” Barney said kindly. “He loved you so much, he wanted to make sure that you were okay.” 

“He’s not even part of this family.” Bellatrix snarled, drawing her wand.

“Careful Bella.” Andromeda said cooly. “We’re in the ministry, you wouldn’t want to get caught using an unforgivable curse now, would you?” Bellatrix stood, apparently not caring, but Narcissa grabbed her arm. “Sirius, Regulus, I’ll take you back to school.”

“You will stay away from my son, Blood Traitor.” His mother snapped. Andromeda raised her eyebrows, and Sirius wished he knew what she was thinking. “Fine, Sirius let’s go.” She shrugged, holding the door open for him. “Barney, we’ll walk you out.” Clearly she didn’t want to leave him alone with the rest of the Blacks any more than he did. 

Sirius left the room, slightly dazed. _All of Alphard’s gold_. He didn’t know how much that was, but Alphard had certainly been well off.


	178. 5th March 1977

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously posted for Jilytober

Though she would never admit it to him, Lily actually cared about Quidditch when James was playing. Plus, she got far too much enjoyment from their on going argument of football verses Quidditch to admit to anything. Football was obviously better, but Quidditch wasn’t _quite_ as bad as she pretended that it was. 

She didn’t hate it nearly as much as she pretended to, just like she hadn’t hated James nearly as much as she’d pretended to. 

It was his first match as captain now that Ana had resigned from that particular position, and she desperately wanted Gryffindor to win… for him. Lily’s first thought when he’d been made captain was that they might bump into him in the Prefects' bathroom… she wouldn’t be admitting that to him either. 

Maybe today, after the match…

_Stop it, Lily!_

James threw the Quaffle to Marlene who fumbled with it and had to roll in the air to keep hold of the ball. Sirius stiffened beside her, and Lily was sure that his heart might have stopped for a moment, but Marlene was fine. Lily understood, after that last match he was on edge, they were all a little on edge. Marlene passed to Ana and she scored to a deafening cheer from the Gryffindor supporters. 

James caught the Quaffle again but one of the Hufflepuff Beaters hit a Bludger at him. Lily didn’t have to be able to hear it to know the sound his shoulder must have made as it popped out of the socket. On her other side Peter turned slightly green. 

“He’ll be okay.” She told him, hoping that it was true. _That damn shoulder of his!_ “He needs to call for a time out, he can’t play like that! He needs to get it sorted.”

“Arrogant prick.” Sirius muttered, chewing on his thumbnail.

“Look at Clodagh!” Lily shouted as the red blur of their Seeker shot towards the ground. The Gryffindors rose in a mass of scarlet and when she straightened up, fist in the air, the roar was tumultuous. “Come on, let’s go.” She said to Sirius, pushing him towards the stairs. They hurried down them and onto the pitch as the rest of the team landed beside the Seeker. James dismounted his broom, white faced and stumbled towards Lily and Sirius. 

“Pop it back in before Marlene makes me go to the hospital wing.” He said to Sirius. Sirius rolled his eyes and gripped James’s elbow before tapping his shoulder with his wand. Lily didn’t cover here ears in time to miss the _crack_. Her stomach rolled, normally she was made of stronger stuff but there was something so awful about James's dodgy shoulder. 

“Are you alright?” She asked, resisting the urge to grab him by the front of his robes and kiss him. This was still their little secret after all, and they were standing in front of the whole school. 

“Right as rain.” He said, though he extended his arm a little gingerly. “Nothing a soak in a hot bath won’t fix.” He added, winking at her. Lily felt her cheeks turn warm and quickly looked away. _Do not get ideas._

“Why didn’t you call a time out?” Marlene demanded, hurrying over to them, and Lily was immensely grateful for the change of subject. 

“I was fine.” He sighed, letting her check his arm for herself.

“Would you have called for one if it had been one of us?” Marlene asked, but from the look on her face Lily was sure that she already knew the answer. 

“Well obviously.” James grinned. That stupid, cocky, handsome grin that she loved so fucking much. 

“He likes to be the big hero.” Lily said rolling her eyes, but she wasn’t sure she’d managed to make it quite exasperated enough. 

“Party in the common room?” Sirius asked, it sounded rhetorical. “Where’s Moony? We need to get supplies.”

“Excuse me, where’s my kiss, or even a ‘wow, Marley, you flew well’?” Marlene asked him, her lip twitching as she fought a grin. Sirius pecked her lips and slapped her arse as he walked past her. 

“How’s that?” He called back over his shoulder, hurrying back towards the stands. 

“Such a knob.” Marlene laughed, a soft fondness under the sound. “Come on Jamie, let’s get changed.” 

“See you later Lily.” He smirked, his eyes raking down her body before he turned towards the changing rooms. Lily’s breath caught and she suddenly felt far too hot in her jumper. It wasn’t _fair_ that he could make her feel like that with such ease!


	179. 19th March 1977

There was so much love in Marlene’s eyes as she looked up at Sirius that his heart ached. He didn’t deserve her. She loosened her long legs from around his waist and reached up to brush the hair out of his eyes. He kissed her softly before rolling off of her to lie at her side. They could stay here all day, their friends were in Hogsmeade, he’d mentioned to Remus that this was what he and Marlene’d had planned, and he’d promised to try keep the other Marauders out of the castle for the day. Sirius was getting very sick of James walking in on them every time things got even a little heated. 

“I have to go to the bathroom.” Marlene said, sitting up and reaching for his shirt that she’d thrown to the end of the bed. She put it on and pulled back the curtains.

“Are you okay?” He asked, taking her hand.

“Yeah, I just need the toilet.” She laughed.

“You’re coming back though, right?” He asked quickly, hating how pathetically hopeful the question sounded. What had she done to all his _Sirius Black-ness?_ Marlene’s smile faltered, and he watched as she tried and failed to hitch it back in any convincing manner. 

“You want me to?” She asked, sounding surprised. _Fuck Craig Platt_. Sirius hated him more with every passing moment. He lunged forwards and tangled his fingers in her hair, his lips connecting with hers, in a desperate, hungry kiss, before he broke away.

“If I had my way, we’d spend the rest of our lives cocooned in this four poster.” He breathed. Marlene laughed, her breath tickling his face.

“I’ll be back in a minute.” She promised, getting up and closing the dormitory door behind her. Sirius flopped back down, staring up at the velvet canopy. _He had just had sex with Marlene McKinnon, and it had been incredible_. It wasn’t his first time either, but that time he’d been with Vivian paled in comparison…and he’d spent the whole time wishing that she was Marlene. She returned, closing the curtains around them once more and settled down against his side. 

“Are you okay?” He asked again, tracing patterns on her shoulder with his thumb.

“I—” She began, placing a hand on his chest. “I just wish that was my first time.” Sirius tried to catch her eye but she wasn’t looking at him. “You actually love me and—” her lips twitched up in a small smirk. “—you actually cared if I _enjoyed myself_.” 

“Of course I do, of course I did.” Sirius murmured and hearing her moaning his name like that had been quite the ego boost. “Your first time was with Craig?” He hated that he sounded like he was prying; she nodded against his chest. 

“The first time we went out—”

“When he was seventeen and you were only fourteen?” He asked through gritted teeth before he could stop himself from interrupting her. _When he took those fucking photographs of you that got passed round the fucking school?_ He didn't ask this though, he already knew the answer.

“Yeah.” She whispered. “It hurt, a lot. And he was so rough with me. I could have been anyone, he didn’t really care.” Sirius could feel the rage building up, he played with the ends of her hair as he tried to stamp it down. “As soon as he pulled out of me he told me that I had to get dressed and leave.” She added, a little quicker this time. “He broke up with me on the train back to school the next day.” 

“Marley.” He swallowed, his hands were shaking with anger. She hadn’t deserved that, _no one_ deserved that. She propped herself up on her elbow to look at him, and he quickly brushed away a tear that escaped down her cheek. He never knew what to do with a crying Marlene McKinnon. 

“So yeah, I wish this had been my first time.” She shrugged, dipping her head to kiss his collarbone. 

“I hope he lives long enough that I get paired on an Order mission with him.” Sirius muttered darkly. Marlene’s head shot back up to look at him.

“Why?” She frowned.

“I can kill him myself and make it look like Death Eaters.” Sirius said, it opened up a whole world of vengeful possibilities.

“That’s not funny.” Marlene murmured, gripping hold of his hand, but she didn’t look angry at him. 

“I’m not joking, I’m serious.” He hissed. To his surprise, her face cracked into a wide smile.

“And I’m Marlene.” She said, and Sirius groaned. He flipped them over, hovering above her. 

“I hate you so much.” He breathed, his lips brushing hers as he spoke.

“I hate you too, Sirius Black.” She smiled.


	180. 12th April 1977

“Do you think you can help me practice some of these?” Mary asked, handing the list of defensive spells to Dorcas. Dorcas took the list and scanned it.

“Wouldn't you rather wait until after the holidays when Marlene is back?” 

Mary bit her lip. Sure, it was Marlene’s area of expertise, but Dorcas lived with an Auror… an Auror that let her use magic outside of school, providing she could promise that she was training. Plus, it was _Dorcas_ that she wanted to spend time with. “You’re just as good as Marlene.” Mary shrugged. 

“Thanks.” Dorcas grinned, setting aside her Care of Magical creatures book. “Come on then, this is way more fun than revision.” They found an empty classroom and pushed aside the desks. “Alright, the Shield charm. So it’s _Protego_ , and you’ve got to get the circular motion right with your arm.” Dorcas said, demonstrating. 

“Got it.” Mary said, mimicking the gesture.

“I’ll try and jinx you. You ready?” She asked, and Mary nodded. The problem was, Dorcas had gotten pretty good at nonverbal spells, so Mary didn’t have that extra second to cast the shield. She was doing it though, blocking the jinxes. It wasn’t so hard, but she wasn’t sure that Dorcas was trying _that hard_ to hurt her. What didn’t help was how good she looked; she moved well, there was a perfect curve to her arm as she brought her wand through the air. There was also a perfect curve to her lips, though that had nothing to do with what they were suppose to be doing right now.

“ _Ouch_!” Mary yelped as a stinging jinx slipped through, she cradled her arm as red welts travelled up her skin. Dorcas quickly lowered her wand and crossed to her. 

“Sorry! I got a little carried away.” Dorcas admitted, taking gentle hold of her wrist. Mary swallowed, Dorcas was stood so close. Her heart sped up, and she was sure she must be able to feel it in her pulse. “You were very good though.”

“Thanks. I just got distracted.” Mary breathed. Dorcas looked up. She could kiss her… There was something in the way Dorcas was looking at her that made Mary sure that she was considering the same thing. Dorcas hesitated for a moment and then took hold of her waist. Their lips met and Mary pulled her closer. Dorcas ran her tongue over her bottom lip and Mary parted her lips for her, tangling her fingers in her curls as she did.


	181. 17th April 1977

“Do you want anything from the kitchens? Dorcas? Hello?” Dorcas looked up quickly at Remus. She’d been watching Mary reading her Divination text book, a cute little frown of concentration on her face. 

“See if they have any of those sweet little patisseries.” She said. Mary loved them. At their mention Mary peered over her book, her eyes lighting up. 

“Definitely.” Mary smiled, stretching out a leg to rest her foot against Dorcas’s thigh. Dorcas smiled and rubbed circles on her ankle with her thumb.

“I’ll take some too.” Sirius yawned, dropping straight into the chair as soon as Remus stood up.

“Would you be so quick to jump in my grave?” Remus muttered irritably.

“Of course, mate.” Sirius shrugged. 

“Aren’t you coming with me? Help me carry stuff?” Remus asked.

“Pete’ll go with you, he loves a trip to the kitchens. I’m too tired.” He yawned again, as though to make his point.

“You wouldn’t be if you didn’t stay out until five this morning.” Remus said.

“Funny, that’s the time Marlene got back to the dormitory.” Mary smiled. “You dirty stop-outs.” Sirius just smirked. She watched as Remus beckoned for Peter and they left the common room. Dorcas slid her hand up to rest of Mary’s calf but she quickly pulled her leg away. Dorcas didn’t care who saw them, but Mary seemed hesitant for people to know about them. She supposed she understood. Mary wanted a quiet life, wanted to blend in, not draw attention to herself… and this could make her stand out. Dorcas didn’t think their friends would care, and she was sure that Alastor wouldn’t, but she wasn’t so sure about Mary’s parents. And neither was Mary. 

For now, it would just have to be their secret.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's such a short chapter today


	182. 22nd May 1977

“I still annoyed you saved that bloody goal.” James laughed, messing up his hair. Marcella Parrinello was such a good Keeper that he wished she was a Gryffindor not Ravenclaw. The Three Broomsticks was packed, and he was sure this was the only reason she’d come and sat with him. He’d thought she’d have been smarting about yesterday’s match, but she seemed alright.

“Like that last goal mattered, you won.” Marcella grinned, rolling her eyes. James took a sip of his drink and as he set the bottle down he watched Lily pass his table. She looked irritated. 

“Evans!” He called, but she didn’t seem to hear him. “I’ll see you round.” He said to Marcella, jumping up and following after Lily. She was stalking down the high street and he sped up, wrapping his arms around her waist and tugging her into an alley way. “You didn’t even struggle, what if I’d been a Death Eater?” James frowned, turning her to face him. 

“I knew it was you. I know what you smell like—” She blushed, quickly breaking off and James grinned; she knew what he smelled like.

“Didn’t you hear me calling you?” He asked 

“I did, I ignored you.” Lily snapped; James’s face fell. “I didn’t want to interrupt your date.” She added.

“What are you—” _Date? What fucking date?_

“It’s okay, really. I shouldn’t have asked you to wait and not ask out any other girls, especially when I couldn’t give you any idea of how long for. If you want to go out with Marcella, you can, it’s okay.” She said, she was smiling but he was sure that there was something forced about it. “She’s pretty, and plays Quidditch…It’s alright if you’ve lost interest, we can still be friends—” James cut her off with a kiss, she was insane, of course he hadn’t lost interest in her. When she didn’t kiss him back he quickly pulled away to look at her. He wasn’t going to kiss her if she wasn’t kissing him back.

“You’ve lost your mind.” He muttered, she tried to push past him but moved to the side, blocking her in, before he backed her further away from the high street. 

“Let me go.” She sighed.

“No.” He said, he’d let her go as soon as he’d explained. “Not until we’ve sorted this out. I wasn’t on a date with Marcella, she came and sat by me. We were chatting, she’s nice. We were talking about yesterday’s match. I have no intention of going out with any girl that isn’t you. I’d rather never go out with anyone.”

“You’ve not… lost interest?” Lily asked, she sounded so adorably hopeful.

“It’s embarrassing how much of my time is spent thinking about you. You’re in half my dreams.” He admitted with a grin. Not _every_ dream was dirty, there were plenty of dreams where he was just _with_ her.

“You dream about me? What sort of dreams?” She smirked, the smirk on her face made his breath catch slightly. James laughed and backed her right up against the wall, reaching down to lace their fingers together. He waited a moment, until he thought she might think he was just holding her hand, before lifting her arms above her head, and catching her lips with his. His kiss was heated, and he was sure that she was playing catch up. He felt her try to drop her arms but he kept them pressed against the bricks. He broke away and pressed a kiss to her neck, touching his tongue to her racing pulse. “If you leave a mark I’ll never speak to you again.” She moaned, he’d never get tired of hearing her moan like that. James smirked against her skin.


	183. 18th June 1977

“If we fail our exams, we’ll know why.” James grinned. Sirius took the map from him, his eyes drifted over to the Gryffindor common room, to the girls dormitory, and to the little dot labelled Marlene McKinnon walking around the room.

“If we fail our exams I don’t think it matters. Look at this thing.” Sirius laughed. Between this and becoming Animagi, he was pretty sure that they could just drop out now.

“I still can’t believe you pulled off the Homonculous charm.” Remus said. James stretched his arms above his head and gave an exaggerated yawn.

“It was easy.” He said, and Sirius snorted. They’d all been practicing it, but James had mastered it first… Not that any of them were surprised.

“We don’t get enough credit for our talent.” Peter said, taking the map from Sirius.

“ _Our talent_.” Sirius mouthed to James so Peter wouldn’t hear him.

“Hey.” Peter muttered, sulkily. “I saw what you just said.” Sirius shrugged. He wasn’t taking it back, Wormtail had done very fucking little.

“You kept us well supplied with cups of tea while we worked, that’s a very important job, Wormy.” James said seriously, but his eyes were sparkling with suppressed laughter. Peter tossed the map back on the table and stormed up to the dormitory. Remus started to rise, but caught Sirius’s eye.

“Just let him sulk.” Sirius shrugged. “He’ll be back down in a minute, worried he’s missing out.” Remus raised his eyebrows and Sirius sighed, putting his feet up on the coffee table. “And yes, I will apologise to him.”

“Are you going to tell Marlene about the map?” Remus asked.

“Who are you talking to? Me or Sirius?” James asked, and Remus shrugged. Sirius looked over at James. He was as uncomfortable as he was keeping things from Marlene — maybe more so. Neither of them had told her yet that they were Animagi, there was a good chance she’d never speak to them again.

“I hate lying to her.” James mumbled.

“You think I don’t? You’re her family, she’ll forgive you eventually. There’s a good chance she’ll end it with me.” Sirius muttered, his heart ached at the thought of losing her. He’d never loved anyone like he loved Marlene. But not telling her was cowardice.

“This is more forgivable than us becoming Animagi behind her back.” Sirius didn’t miss the resentment colouring James's tone, nor the way his eyes flicked to Remus. Luckily, Remus was engrossed in the map. “We should tell her about this — Ana!” He called across the common room. “Can you go up stairs and ask Marley to come down here?” Ana rolled her eyes but got up. “Love you!” James added quickly.

A few minutes later Marlene entered the common room, looked around for a moment and spotted them. “What’s up?” She asked, sitting on the arm of Sirius’s chair.

“I…” James hesitated, taking the map from Remus and holding it out to her. “We wanted to show you something we made.” He said. Marlene took the map from him and stared down at it.

“This is Hogwarts.” She said carefully. “This is everyone _in_ Hogwarts.”

“Yeah, it is.” Sirius said.

“Fuck off did you make this.” She laughed.

“We did!” James insisted. “It took us a while, but that was what I’ve been drawing all this time.”

“You made this?” She asked, though it didn’t sound all that much like a question, her expression was unreadable.

“We did.” Remus said carefully. “Us three, and Peter.”

“Peter did this?” Marlene laughed darkly. “Peter Pettigrew? Fuck off.”

Sirius smirked, trying not to catch James’s eye. “He mostly watched.” Sirius _supposed_ that there were areas of the castle that he had been able to access that were harder for the rest of them to get to, but he could hardly tell Marlene that without admitting how.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Marlene asked James, but then she looked round to Sirius. Her gaze seemed so penetrating that for a wild moment he thought she might have mastered legilimency.

“We didn’t think we’d succeed, it only just came together.” James shrugged, and Sirius wasn’t sure how he was managing to keep the guilt out of his voice.

“Okay.” Marlene eventually said, throwing the map on the table, but there was something off in that ‘okay.’ “Well done. This is very impressive.”

Sirius hesitated, before placing his hand on her knee. It was promising that she didn’t push it off, but she seemed a lot stiffer than she had when she’d sat down. “Thanks.” He mumbled. 


	184. 19th June 1977

Marlene couldn’t sleep. She was being ridiculous, she _knew_ that she was being ridiculous. So what if James, Sirius and Remus… and apparently _Peter_ had created a stupid map. Well, it was a very cool map…

She would have loved to be a part of that, if James had asked her, she would have jumped at the chance. But he hadn’t. Long gone were the days when they did everything together, they weren’t little kids any more. They both had other friends now as well. And that was okay.

It just stung a little… and she _knew_ that she was being ridiculous.

“You’re up early.” Sirius said, startling her. She looked around to see him standing behind her. “Or late, however you want to look at it.”

“Can’t sleep.” She shrugged. She’d tried, she’d even gotten a couple of hours, but she woken at half three and couldn’t drop back off.

“Are you alright?” Sirius frowned. What was she supposed to say? That she was jealous of his friendship with _her Jamie_? It would make her sound like a child… she was behaving like a child.

“It’s some incredible magic — the map — and I’m so proud of you all.” She said, because she _was_. It was amazing what they had accomplished… she thought of how long she’d seen James sketching away, and really, for _such_ an advanced bit of magic, it had been no time at all. “I just can’t believe you didn’t tell me. I could have helped.” She sighed.

“I’m sorry. So is James.” Sirius murmured.

“I know, I’m just sulking.” She admitted with a small laugh. It sounded even sillier when she said it out loud. It had always been James Potter and Marlene McKinnon, and now it was James Potter and Sirius Black. And she was just jealous.

“Are we alright?” Sirius asked, and he looked terrified. So terrified that it broke her heart. She couldn’t let him panic about this. It was just a stupid map. Marlene knelt up in her chair and wrapped her arms around his neck.

“We’re alright.” She smiled, pecking his lips. She felt his whole body relax under her arms. He seemed so scared of losing her and she couldn’t really understand why. He was _Sirius Black_ , he could get any girl he wanted.

“I hate you, Marlene McKinnon.” Sirius grinned happily, giving her ponytail a tug.

“I hate you too.” She laughed. “Come on, I want a cup of tea, let’s go and annoy the house elves.”

They were alright, it was just a stupid map.


	185. 3rd July 1977

Lily sat on the window seat of the Potter’s living room, watching Sirius remount his bike. She’d gone with him to buy it, as she’s said she would, she didn’t want him getting ripped off because he wasn’t as knowledgable about the Muggle world. It hadn’t occurred to her that he wouldn’t actually know _how_ to ride a motorbike. Really that was on her, she should have realised he’d never learned.

“How’s he doing?” James asked, joining her at the window to watch.

“Well, he’s staying on a bit longer each time. Though he almost collided with a parked car.” Lily said, trying not to grin. He’d already had to use _reparo_ a fair few times.

“The neighbours are going to be thrilled.” James laughed. Lily bit her lip, she didn’t want this causing trouble for his parents, she wanted them to like her.

“He’ll get better, he just needs practice.” She said. “Oh ouch, that looked like it hurt.” She hissed as the bike slid out from beneath him and he rolled across the road. Sirius pulled himself up, there was blood on his clothes but she couldn’t see from here where she’d hurt himself. Lily expected him to come back inside, but he picked up the bike and tried again. “He’s such an idiot.”

“Make me a cup of tea, Jamie.” Marlene said, sitting down opposite Lily.

“Hello to you to.” James muttered, giving her a shove. “Do you want one, Evans?”

“Please.” Lily smiled. She followed Marlene’s gaze out of the window and watched her face fall. It occurred to her that maybe Sirius hadn’t actually _told_ her about the bike.

“What the fuck does he think he’s doing?” She hissed.

“He’s trying to ride a motorcycle.” Lily grinned, it was a good job Marlene didn’t get here sooner, she’d missed some of his more serious mishaps.

“He’s going to get himself killed.” She muttered, worry creasing her forehead.

“He’s alright.” Lily said, trying to sound more sure than she felt. “He’s getting better. Look, he’s staying on.” They watched as Sirius rode the bike past the house, this time successfully avoiding the car that had been causing him so much trouble.

“Is that _blood?_ ” Marlene asked as he circled back round.

“Just little bit of blood.” James said, retuning to the living room and handing them each a mug. Sirius pulled up outside and waved at them, his grin faltering slightly at the sight of Marlene. “I’m going to have a go.”

“James!” Lily shouted, but he’d already hurried from the room. She watched as he opened the gate and climbed onto the back of the bike. She wished he’d wait until Sirius was a little better at steering.

“They’re fucking idiots.” Marlene muttered. “I can’t watch.” Though Lily noticed that she didn’t take her eyes off of them as they shot off along the road… She decided that it was probably best not to mention just yet that Sirius had talked about trying to make it fly.


	186. 30th July 1977

It had been such a beautiful afternoon, they had been in the middle of Muggle London... and it had been such beautiful afternoon. Marlene and Sirius had been taking a walk around Hyde Park before dinner when it had all gone disastrously wrong.

“Where do you want to eat?” Sirius asked, taking her hand as they walked.

“Somewhere close, need to limit the time we’re on your new death trap.” Marlene said. Okay, so maybe he had gotten a lot better on the bike, but she’d kept her face pressed tightly against his back when he’d picked her up.

“Are you scared?” Sirius teased, shoving her slightly.

“I’m not _scared_ of anything.” Marlene muttered, pushing him back. “I’ve just gotten quite fond of having you around.”

Sirius grinned. “I’m fond of you too. So I’m not going to drive us into oncoming traffic. Don’t you trust me?” He asked her with such a smile on his face that her heart fluttered. She trusted him with her life, it was the bike that she didn’t trust.

“Shut up.” She sighed. They walked quietly for a while, watching children play around them. She wanted that life with him one day. A beautiful happy family, Saturday’s in the park. One day when this war was all over… if this war was ever over.

Marlene wasn’t sure what made her look back. She turned her head and spotted the masked, hooded figure raise their wand at Sirius. As the woman screamed _Avada Kedavra_ , Marlene yanked Sirius to the ground. They watched as the jet of green light flew over their heads and hit a child that had been playing a few feet from them. Marlene stared, horror struck at the little girl’s lifeless body. She barely registered that Sirius had jumped to his feet, his wand already out. She needed to get up, she needed to fight back.

_That poor child._

Marlene tore her eyes away, drawing her wand. There were more Death Eaters now. People were running, screaming. That first Death Eater was firing Killing curses everywhere and Muggles were just dropping, no real idea what was going on.

They needed help. Marlene tried to focus on something happy… the day Sirius had told her he loved her… and encased the call for help inside her silvery lioness. It shot off to the Auror office as a Killing curse missed her by half and inch.

“ _Stupify!_ ” She shouted, directing her wand at one of the Death Eaters.

Eleven Muggles had been killed that afternoon, most of them children. Aurors had arrested two of the five Death Eaters, the other three had disapparated. Moody had tried to tell them that they had helped save so many others, that because of them many more people had survived. But Marlene hadn’t been listening. She felt numb.


	187. 30th July 1977 .II

Sirius stared at Marlene. She was sitting at her kitchen table, her parents fussing over her. She was alive, they were alive. He’d have been dead if it wasn’t for her. Bella would have killed him. She hadn’t taken off her mask, but he knew that it was Bellatrix beneath it. They were lucky to be alive right now, they’d gotten luckier than those poor kids.

Any moment now Gordon or Beatrice were going to turn on him. He’d put their daughter in danger, just by being around her.

“Stop it, I’m fine.” Marlene said, as Gordon draped a blanket around her shoulders. It had been the first thing she’d said since they’d left the park. She wasn’t fine, neither of them were fine. Sirius crossed through to the living room and dropped down onto the sofa, his head in his hands. He needed to get back to the Potters, they must be getting worried about him. But he didn’t want to just _leave_ Marley like this.

“Do you want me to make you a cup of tea?” Nicole asked him. Sirius looked up at her.

“Do you know _how_ to make a cup of tea?” Sirius teased, his lips almost managing to prick up into a smile.

“ _Of course_ I do.” Nicole said defiantly.

“Drop of milk, no sugar, then.” He said. “Thank you.” As she left the room he saw Gordon watching him.

“What happened?” He asked.

“Your daughter saved my life.” Sirius murmured quietly. _She shouldn’t have, if she hadn’t pulled me out of the way, that little girl would still be alive_ , he didn’t add. Gordon looked back at Marlene.

“I think it’s time you went back to Mr and Mrs Potter, Sirius.” Beatrice called from the kitchen. She was right, of course, but he couldn’t leave. Not yet. Not when he was so worried about Marlene.

“Bea, it’s alright.” Gordon said softly. He moved closer to him. “Are you okay?”

Sirius shook his head. He wasn’t okay, of course he wasn’t okay. But he needed to get used to this, they needed to get used to this. Things like this were going to keep happening. That was _why_ they had to fight in this war.

As much as Sirius hoped for it to be different, he didn’t think those would be the last people they ever saw killed. And he didn’t think that would be the last time they had to fight for their lives. “You should be really proud of her. She’s sharp, she thinks quickly, and she’s such a good fighter.” Even as he said it, he realised that Gordon would probably would rather his daughter stayed home where she would be safe. Then, was Gordon naive enough to believe that anyone was really safe in their homes at the moment? “I’m sorry that I almost got her killed.” He whispered.

“You didn’t.” Gordon said quickly.

Sirius couldn’t meet his eyes, he hadn’t been there, he didn’t know how close it really was.


	188. 5th August 1977

James looked up from his toast as the school owl soared in through the open patio doors, dropping letters for himself and Sirius onto the kitchen island. It was gone eleven and Sirius still wasn’t up yet. He’d been like this since the attack in the park. Keeping himself to his room, not venturing down until the afternoon for something to eat before returning upstairs. Sure it was the summer holidays, but James was worried. He didn’t want him disappearing inside his own misery.

He boiled the kettle, made them each a cup of tea, and tucked the letters under his arm. He wasn’t going to let Sirius spend the rest of the summer in bed.

“Come on, get up.” He said, opening Sirius’s bedroom door with his elbow and setting the mug on the bedside table. Sirius groaned and pulled the pillow over his head. “What’s your name, Marley McKinnon?” He muttered, sitting down at the other end of the bed and giving him a kick. Sirius kicked him back. “Letters are here.” He said, throwing it at him. Sirius sighed and sat up, reaching for the mug and taking a gulp of tea.

“You’re the worst friend in the world, you know that right?” He asked.

“If you say so.” James shrugged. He wasn’t, Sirius was just grumpy because he’d woken him up, and it was mixing with his general air of sadness. He tore open his own letter and frowned when a badge dropped into his lap. He already _had_ a captain’s badge, he didn’t need another.

“What’s that?” Sirius asked, looking up from his own letter. James picked it up. He didn’t understand. “Wait that’s the _Head Boy_ badge.” Sirius snorted. James wasn’t sure if he was outraged or amused. What the fuck had he been given this for?

“I’m not even a Prefect.” He said. “I’m in detention every five minutes. Do you think Dumbledore has finally lost it?”

“Clearly!” Sirius laughed, but he sobered up quickly. “Though… I suppose it’s not _completely_ insane.”

“What do you mean?” James snapped, he didn’t know why he was so annoyed by this.

“Well, you’re one of the smartest students in school—”

“So are you.” James said quickly, Sirius gave him a sad smile. “But since when do they give people that cause this much trouble Head Boy badges.”

“I suppose when they’ve also saved people’s lives.” Sirius said quietly. “Snivellus—”

“That was less about saving Snivellus and more about saving you and Moony.” James countered, Sirius was making out like he was some sort of hero and he just wasn’t.

“Doesn’t matter.” Sirius shrugged. “And…” He hesitated. “Babworth.”

James froze, his hand halfway to his mug. He didn’t like thinking about that night. “Babworth died. I didn’t save him.”

“But you tried to. You did everything you could think of, you were in fourth year. It wasn’t your fault that he died.” Sirius said kindly.

“And it’s not your fault those kids died last week.” James said sharply, and Sirius’s face fell.

“Shut up.” He muttered. “Look, you’re going to be a great Head Boy, and think how much shit I can get away with now.” He added with a grin.


	189. 15th August 1977

James watched as Lily crouched in front of the oven, looking through the door. He hadn’t told her yet that he was Head Boy, he’d congratulated her on being made Head Girl, but he was a little nervous about how she’d react. Whatever Sirius had said, it was fucking insane that Dumbledore had picked him. “It’s not rising.” She said, clicking her tongue in frustration.

“Because you’re staring at it.” James grinned, tugging her away. She let out a small scream of surprise as he gripped her waist and lifted her onto the kitchen counter.

“I don’t think that’s how ovens work… Have you ever even used one before?” Lily challenged, reaching for the mixing bowl so that she could eat the excess cake mix. He opened his mouth, but closed it again. She had him there.

“Well no.” James admitted, he dipped his finger into the mix and touched it to the tip of Lily’s nose. Lily extended her tongue to try at reach it. He laughed, she looked so ridiculously adorable. “Are you sure you got the recipe right?” He asked, glancing through the oven door himself.

“I have no idea, I’ve never done any backing before.” Lily shrugged.

“What do you mean? You said you wanted to help.” James said, licking the spoon. He figured that she’d offered because she knew what she was doing, and knew he didn’t have a clue.

“Yeah, I wanted to help, I wanted to spend the day with you. But I’ve never baked anything in my life.” Lily said.

“But you know how to sew!” And she did it the Muggle way too.

Lily snorted and rolled her eyes. “What does that have to do with anything! You’re excellent at cutting hair. But neither of our skills have anything to do with baking your mother a birthday cake.”

Once more, James opened his mouth for a moment and closed it again. “You’ve got me there… Well, if it doesn’t work then we’ll buy one and pretend that you’re an excellent baker. She’ll never believe us if we say it’s me.” He said, kissing the chocolate off of her nose, before moving down to her lips.

“Wait.” She said, pulling back rather reluctantly. “Your parents are definitely out all day?”

“They won’t be home until this evening.” James promised, as Lily reached up to dust some flour from his hair. They had the place to themselves, they didn’t even need to go up to his bedroom. And that opened up a whole world of _interesting_ possibilities. He’d take her up there if it went that far, of course. It would be their first time and he wanted it to be comfortable. But they had all day.

“And Sirius?” She asked.

“At the McKinnons… Their house has Marlene, I can’t see him rushing back, can you?” He asked trailing some chocolate mix along her jaw before kissing it away. He slid his hands up her thighs, and smirked against her skin when she wrapped her legs around his waist, pulling him closer to her. Lily pushed the bowl off of her lap and it clattered to the floor. James found her lips once more, kissing her deeply, desperately.

He moved his hands under her skirt and found the waistband of her knickers, he spent a moment tracing pattens on her soft skin before he gripped hold of the fabric. As soon as Lily lifted herself up he pulled them as far down as they could go. It would do for now, and if she didn’t want to release him, he could always tear them away.

Then they heard the cough.

Both froze, James’s heart was pounding. She broke away and he saw her looking over his shoulder.

“Well, well, well.” Sirius said. James pressed his forehead against Lily’s shoulder. That wasn’t nearly as bad as it could have been. It could have been his mother. “As much as I approve, do you think you could move it to the bedroom? I eat my breakfast in here.”


	190. 27th August 1977

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted for Jilytober

James appeared with a pop in the flower bed in Lily’s back garden. He quickly jumped out and on the the patio, her parents would probably be pretty mad if he crushed them all. He crossed to the French doors and peered into her kitchen, spotting Lily making a cup of tea. He wrapped his knuckles on the glass and Lily jumped, sending water flying everywhere… Maybe he should have gone round the front and rang the bell. She’d sworn, he could read her lips. He loved it when she swore.

“What are you doing here?” She asked, opening the door to let him in.

“I came to see if you wanted to hang out?” He asked. That was part of it, the other part of it was that he’d been able to hear Marlene and Sirius having sex and he’d just had to get out of the house. Lily bit her lip.

“Actually I was just going out.” She said, and he noticed the scarf for her football team draped around her neck.

“Oh yeah, Saturday afternoon. Football with your dad.” She’d told him that once. He took her ballet in the mornings (though James suspected that she now took herself), and they went to the match in the afternoons.

“I… You remember that?” She asked, raising her eyebrows.

“I remember a lot of things that you’ve told me.” He shrugged. Mainly because he’d spent years hanging off of every word she’d ever said around him. Lily smiled.

“I’m going by myself, Dad’s not feeling well… oh he’ll be fine.” She added quickly. “He’s just being dramatic. It’s a fucking cold but he’s acting like he’s been shot.”

“I’m just taking this tea up to him and then I’m off. Mum and Tuney are wedding dress shopping. I’d have gone with them but she insisted that I not be there.” Lily said, her face falling slightly before she quickly hitched the smile back up.

“Bitch.” James muttered.

“Do you want— No, never mind.” She shrugged.

“No, go on?” James asked curiously.

“I was going to ask if you want Dad’s ticket, but I’m not going to sit and listen to you whinge for ninety minutes.” Lily laughed. “I’ll be right back.” She said before carrying the mug from the kitchen.

He could go to a football match, he was sure that it would be shit, but he could behave himself for Lily. And she loved it so much… He could probably behave himself, definitely keep his mocking to the absolute minimum. Anything to spend time with her.

“I’ll come with you. I’ll be on my best behaviour, I’ve never actually watched a football match before.” He said.

“You sure?” She asked, and he could hear a slight hopefulness in her voice. She wanted to spend time with him too.

“I might even enjoy it.” He lied.

“Alright then.” She grinned, picking the red and blue scarf off the counted top. She draped it round his neck and used it to pull him closer for a kiss. “Come on then.” She said, taking his hand and leading him out of the front door.

“So we’re supporting Aston Villa right?” He asked, wanting to make sure he got the name of the team right.

“Correct.” She said, and he saw the corner of her mouth twitch up, amused that he seemed to be trying.

“And who are we playing?”

“Everton.” She must live fairly near the pitch because they seemed to be walking, unless they were walking to the train station.

“What if I decide I like them better?” James teased, he doubted that he would, he doubted that he would like either team.

“I’ll fancy you a little bit less.” She promised pleasantly. “But at least we’re not playing West Brom today, if you decided you liked them better, I’d never speak to you again.”

“I have heard they’re quite good…” James grinned, letting go of her hand and wrapping his arm around her shoulders.

“Oh shut up.” She snapped, but she was grinning.

“So is it really only ninety minutes long?” He asked, that didn’t seem like nearly enough for how much Muggles were mad for it.

“Well, there’s a little break halfway through, but yeah. I mean sometimes it goes slightly longer, but just by a few minutes.” She explained.

“But what if no one scores?” He asked, that seemed highly unlikely, but if the game had a time limit that had to be a possibility.

“Oh that happens all the time.” Lily said. “Occasionally, depending on what the match is for, it might go to penalties. But usually, if no one scores it’s just a draw.” She looked at him, almost daring him to make a nasty comment, but he bit his tongue. This was the most stupid game he’d ever heard of.

James would never admit that he’d actually had fun. The game was absolutely as stupid as he’d imagined it would be… and slow too, but he had been spoiled by how fast Quidditch was. Though he supposed it wasn’t the Muggles’ fault that they had to run and not fly. But the atmosphere had been what had made it enjoyable… That and watching Lily jumping around and screaming her team on.

“What did you think?” She asked, as they followed the sea of supporters in the direction of what James suddenly realised was the local pubs. Well, this was part of the game he could get on board with.

“Do your team always loose?” He grinned, though he said it quietly because he wasn’t sure that comment would go down too well with everyone they were surrounded by.

“Fuck off.” Lily muttered, shaking her head. “We don’t _always_ lose. We _should_ have won today.”

“But you didn’t.”

“Fuck off.” She said again, but she was smiling despite her obvious annoyance and disappointment.

“I just wish they had brooms, and more than one ball… How can you think this better than Quidditch?” He asked, he just didn’t understand.


	191. 1st September 1977

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Partially posted for Jilytober

“How the fuck have you ended up Head Boy?” Marlene muttered as James sat down beside her at the Gryffindor table.

“I have no idea, Sirius has his theories but I’m not sure I agree. It was so awkward in the prefects’ carriage.” James said. “They’re pretty furious at me… It was fun.”

“Even Remus?” Marlene asked, looking past James to where he was talking to Peter a few seats down.

“Well, maybe he’s not furious, but a little annoyed I think — that bit wasn’t so amusing. Some of them were raging.” And Marlene assumed that by ‘some’ he meant the Slytherin prefects. “Lily was the only one who wasn’t giving me any sort of cold shoulder.” He said, and shoved her slightly when she wiggled her eyebrows at him. There was _definitely_ something going on between James and Lily. “Who’s that?” James asked, clearly trying to change the subject. Marlene followed his gaze to a beautiful young woman with long, shiny dark hair.

“New Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher, I guess.” She said, kicking Sirius under the table when she noticed him staring at her. “Put your eyes back in their sockets.” She snapped, at least he had the decency to look ashamed of himself when he turned back to her.

“Sorry.” He said quickly. “She’s not half as beautiful as you.”

“Hmm.” Marlene said. He hadn’t been the only one who was staring though. Dorcas was gazing at her slightly open mouthed, not even noticing that Lily was talking to her. Really, she could hardly blame them. The woman was stunning.

Dumbledore called for silence and began to run through the start of term announcements. “I would like to introduce to you our new Head Boy and Girl, if you could stand please, Lily Evans and James Potter.”

Whispering and half hearted claps filled the room and James got to his feet, rather reluctantly, she thought — at least the Gryffindor table seemed pleased. Though James did seem to take some sort of comfort from the looks of disgust from the Slytherin table, and grinned broadly at them. That was the cocky bastard she loved. Dumbledore motioned for them to sit and turned to the new teacher.

“And I would also like to introduce Professor Charlotte Reed, who has kindly agreed to fill the post of Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher for the year.” There was considerably more applause for this announcement.

*

“I still can’t believe Dumbledore made you head boy.” Lily said, shaking her head as they walked along the seventh floor corridor. She didn’t _mind_ , obviously, but he hadn’t even been a prefect. There had been uproar in the Prefect’s carriage that morning, and James had seemed to enjoy every second of the chaos.

“He said I had showed the right character.” James grinned. “I guess he wasn’t here all those days I was being an absolute prick.”

“Well, you saved Severus last year, and before that you did try to save Babworth…” James’s grip on her hand tightened, she knew that he didn’t like to talk about the latter. “You might have been a bit of a prick here and there, but you’re a good man.”

They stopped when they reached the Fat Lady and Lily grabbed his other hand, turning him to face her. “I know, I know. I won’t tell anyone about us, I know Sirius walked in on us in the kitchen, but I’ve told him that he has to keep it to himself.”

“Actually, that was the opposite of what I was going to say.” She said, suddenly very aware that the Fat Lady was watching them curiously. “I don’t want to pretend that this isn’t happening anymore.”

“Lily Evans, are you asking me out?” James grinned, his eyes alive with excitement. He’d been so patient, ever since she’d made him promise last September not to ask her, to instead wait until she asked him, he’d been more patient than she had ever expected him to be.

“Yeah, I’m asking you out. I don’t want to sneak around anymore.” She grinned back. “I am prepared to endure all of the teasing that’s obviously going to come with it, I was very vocally opposed to you.”

“You think I’m going to stand for anyone teasing you?” He challenged, tucking her hair behind her ear. “Well, anyone other than me teasing you, that is?” He clarified with a laugh.

“No, hexing people on my account.” Lily warned, and James held his hands up defensively.

“I’ll do my best.” He grinned.

“James, I mean it—” Lily started to say but he grabbed her face and kissed her, she tried unsuccessfully not to smile and wrapped her arms around his neck. The Fat Lady cleared her throat and they quickly broke apart.

“You ready?” James asked, taking her hand again. She nodded, and James gave the password. There was a hush in the common room as they entered holding hands, a couple of giggles and then the whispers started. James drew his wand, and a vaguely threatening manner. “Not a word.”

“James.” Lily sighed. “What did I _just_ say?”

“I think you said, ‘I’m asking you out.’” James smirked, and Lily rolled her eyes, he was as impossible as he had always been, but she had been finding more and more that she didn’t actually mind that.

“You know that’s not what I’m talking about.” She said, tugging him in the direction of their friends.


	192. 2nd September 1977

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Partially posted for Jilytober

“Defence Against the Dark Arts first.” Lily said stifling a yawn, looking down at her timetable. She’d stayed up far too late last night. She’d endured the teasing from the girls, it was only playful and really she’d deserved it. She had been so adamant that she didn’t fancy James, and now they were a couple. She and James had stayed up even later, _mostly_ organising prefect schedules but there had been more than a few distractions. Her cheeks grew warm at the memories and Marlene caught her eye with a smirk over the jug of orange juice. Was it really that obvious?

“Excellent.” Peter grinned, gazing over to Reed at the staff table, his egg yolk dripping into his lap without him noticing.

“ _Please_ ,” Marlene snorted. “Even if you were capable of impressing her, you really think _you’re_ going to score with a teacher?”

“All of you are idiots.” Lily sighed, looking up as Sirius squeezed himself between her and James and reached across the table to steal the rest of Marlene’s toast.

“What are we talking about?” He asked.

“Timetable.” Lily said, handing over the one that McGonagall had left there for him.

“Excellent, Defence Against the Dark Arts first.” He said around a mouthful of toast. Marlene raised her eyebrows at him. “Purely an academic interest.” He said. “Come on Marls, we went through…something this summer. I swear, it’s just about the subject.”

Marlene seemed to soften, and Lily reached forwards to fill her mug for her. “Yeah, we did.” She murmured.

“I heard she’s an Auror.” Remus said, looking to Dorcas, but their friend shook her head.

“Not at the Ministry she’s not.” Dorcas said, Lily supposed she’d know. Dorcas was full of stories of school holidays spent in the Auror office.

“She’s American.” Mary said, sitting down opposite Dorcas just as the bell rang.

“Been chatting her up have you?” Lily teased, as they stood up.

“I doubt you’ll be the only one she turns down.” James laughed, and Lily stepped aside so Mary could slap him on the arm. “Can you believe this, my girlfriend won’t even protect me from you, Mackers!”

 _My girlfriend._ Lily couldn’t help but smile. As they left the Great Hall James slipped a piece of parchment into her hand before hurrying to catch up with Sirius and Marlene. Lily unfolded it and looked down.

_Lily,_

_Meet me in the Forbidden Forrest at 9pm, the clearing off the path behind the pumpkin patch._

_James._

There was a hesitancy in his ‘J’ and Lily had a funny feeling that he’d be about to sign off ‘Love, James.’ Her heart fluttered slightly at the thought. Was James Potter in love with her? It was almost enough to squash the slight annoyance at his cryptic request.

*

At half eight she made her way through the castle and out into the grounds. She was glad that she'd left early, because it was proving rather difficult to find the clearing in question. _Shocking_ , Lily thought irritably, _what with his very clear instructions._

“ _Lumos_.” She muttered, shining her wand across the dark path as the trees around her thickened. What was James thinking? She hated wandering around the forrest by herself. She wasn’t _afraid_ … but acromantula could get fucking huge, and she didn’t fancy running into one of them. Lily jumped at the sound of cracking branches and she spun around, wand raised. A white unicorn darted away into the darkness. She clutched her chest in relief. She was going to kill James.

Eventually she found the clearing, she stepped out into the faint moonlight, wand still raised, listening hard. What if the letter hadn’t really been from James? After a few minutes of straining her ears, the silence was replaced by the sound of more hooves crushing the twigs that covered the forest floor. She’d expected the unicorn again, maybe a centaur or a thestral, but instead a majestic stag broke through the trees.

Lily stared at it, lowering her still lit wand. It was James. She couldn’t explain how she knew this. She could just feel it in her soul.

“I think you have a bit of explaining to do, Potter.” She said, shaking her head, surprised at how calm her voice sounded. The stag stopped his advance, staring back at her, before turning back into her boyfriend.

“How did you know it was me? I had this whole thing planned!” He whined. “You were supposed to be shocked!”

“When the fuck did you become an Animagus? Are you completely insane?” Lily asked, the second question was rhetorical, clearly he was insane. There was _no way_ that the Ministry had approved this.

“It took a while, finally managed it the first day of fifth year.” James grinned, sounding so proud of himself. Lily’s lip twitched as she tried to fight a smile. That was incredibly impressive, reckless and stupid, but ridiculously impressive. Seeming to decide that it was save to approach, James stepped forward and took her hands.

“You did this all by yourself?” She asked.

“I— Yes.” He was lying, not that she thought he was doing it maliciously, but he was lying.

“Sirius and Peter?” She asked. Remus was a werewolf, she didn’t even know if they _could_ become Animagi. James looked away and she took that as a yes. “Aren’t you worried that I’m going to report you?” She laughed, not that she ever would.

“No, I trust you completely.” James said seriously. Lily swallowed, the intensity of his gaze made her melt. She cleared her throat, trying to ignore the fact that she'd stepped so close to him that their bodies were now touching.

“I can’t believe Marlene didn’t tell me— though, I guess if _you_ swore her to secrecy…” Lily knew that she would always come second to James in Marlene’s life.

“Actually, Marley doesn’t know.” James mumbled, pain darkening his expression. “I want to tell her, Sirius wants to tell her, but we’ve left it too long, lied to her for too long. She’ll never speak to us again.”

Lily reached up to touch his cheek. “Oh James.” She breathed. “Of course she will, she loves you so much, you’re her brother. She’s going to be furious but she’ll get over it.”

“Yeah, yeah maybe.” James muttered. Lily searched around for something to try and distract him.

“I guess ‘Prongs’ makes sense.” She grinned, running a hand through his dark hair. James laughed, the sound rumbling in his chest.

“Are you sufficiently impressed by my magical prowess?” He asked, his smirk telling her that he already knew that she was.

“I’m finding myself impressed by a lot of things you can do.” Lily said, her eyes flicking down to his lips as he wrapped his arms around her waist. He must have caught her, because the next thing she knew, he was kissing her.


	193. 4th September 1977

“She’s coming this way.” James murmured, and Sirius looked down at the map. His heart was pounding. Marlene was never going to forgive him. She’d get over James’s betrayal, she had to. But she didn’t have to forgive Sirius.

“What are you two doing?” Marlene asked as she rounded the corner on the fourth floor and spotted them.

“We need to tell you something, but the common room is too busy.” James said, and Sirius shifted guiltily. Marlene narrowed her eyes, as James slid aside the mirror hid the passage below. “After you.”

“Are you going to trap me in?” Marlene asked, pausing at the entrance.

“This isn’t some sort of prank.” Sirius murmured. Though that might be easier for her to forgive. The three of them descended the stairs and James lit the lamps in the cavernous room with his wand.

“Alright, you need to promise that you won’t tell anyone this, no matter how mad you are at us.” James said seriously. “Because it’s against the law and we’ll get in so much fucking trouble.”

“What have you done?” Marlene asked quickly, but she was looking at Sirius. He was sure that she probably thought he’d murdered Craig or something. She was going to be completely blindsided by this.

“We’re Animagi. Peter too. We became Animagi, unregistered of course.” James said very quickly. Marlene stared at them for a moment and started to laugh.

“Yeah, alright. Sure you are.” She grinned. Sirius took a deep breath, he was going to have to prove it to her, she wouldn’t believe them otherwise. He stepped forwards into his dog form and approached her. Marlene’s expression was unreadable as she looked down at him. He sniffed at her hand and she took a quick step backwards.

“What the fuck.” She said quietly. “What the fuck.” Sirius transformed back and reached out to take her hand by she snatched it away. “When?”

“Start of fifth year.” He admitted.

“It took us a couple of years to actually manage it.” James murmured, rubbing the back of his neck.

“You’ve kept this from me for that long?” Marlene asked, she wasn’t looking at either of them now. “Did you think I would report you?”

“ _Never_.” Sirius hissed. He trusted her, but they’d done this for Remus, and at the time she hadn’t known. And that hadn’t been their secret to tell.

“We _wanted_ to tell you. It was killing me not to.” James said desperately, because Marlene was backing away from them now.

“Clearly.” Marlene snorted.

“It was, the amount of times James sabotaged himself out of guilt…” Sirius trailed off. There was a very odd look on her face.

“I suppose I should congratulate you. This is an incredible bit of magic.” She shrugged.

“Marley—” Sirius began, grabbing her hand. She yanked it free.

“Leave me alone.” She muttered. Marlene turned and climbed the stairs out of the passage.

“At least she didn’t curse us.” James said casually, but Sirius looked over at him he looked close to tears.


	194. 7th September 1977

Dorcas dropped her hand down to play with Mary’s hair when she put her head in her lap. She was always happier to be affectionate up here in the dormitory, away from the prying eyes of the rest of the house.

“Did you tell Alastor about…” Mary trailed off, Dorcas was sure that she was about to say ‘us’, but were they really an ‘us’? Mary seemed to shy away from the topic so much that they hardly ever finished a conversation about what they were. “You.” She finished. Dorcas rolled here eyes.

“No.” Dorcas sighed. It felt strange to just blurt it out to him. She’d been hoping that it would just come up in conversation, rather than over breakfast one morning having to just say, ‘by the way Alastor, I like girls.’ Anyway, she’d doubted very much that Mary had told her parents. Dorcas wanted to tell everyone about them, she wanted to be able to do something as simple as holding her hand in the corridors, but Mary wasn’t ready for that yet and she didn’t want to push her.

The door opened and Marlene entered, flopping down on her bed. She’d been spending a lot more time with them than she usually did over the last few days. She seemed to have fallen out with James and Sirius. Now she was moping… she even seemed off with Lily.

“I’m not interrupting anything am I?” Marlene grinned, though it didn’t quite meet her eyes.

“Not yet, we’ll let you know if you should leave the room though.” Dorcas winked. Marlene pulled out her books and opened them up on her bed. The library and common room must both be out of the question for her at the moment.

“Why are you so mad at them?” Mary asked quietly. Marlene paused as she unscrewed her ink bottle.

“It doesn’t matter.” Marlene mumbled. “I don’t want to talk about it.” The door opened again and Lily entered, hesitating on the threshold when she spotted Marlene. 

“Hi.” She said. Marlene looked up at her and nodded her head slightly. “Listen, Marley. I’ve just been with Sirius and James. They wanted me to tell you how sorry they are. They never wanted to hurt you like this—”

Dorcas was dying to ask what they’d done but she was sure that neither would tell her.

“—they love you so much. Come on, James loves you more than he loves anyone else. You _know_ that. And Sirius…” Lily trailed off, not seeming to be able to find the right words.

“I didn’t know you and Sirius were such good friends.” Marlene murmured. Mary shifted against Dorcas to watch the two other girls. They weren’t arguing as such, but there was a definite iciness to Marlene.

“Sirius and I understand each other in a way that you don’t.” Lily said coldly. Marlene sat up rather quickly, eyebrows raised.

“What is _that_ supposed to mean?” She asked.

“Nothing.” Lily sighed, sitting down on her bed. “Look, Sirius would do anything for you. He’s so in love and he’s terrified that you’re going to leave him.”

“I’m not going to leave him.” Marlene mumbled, flopping back down against her pillows and staring up at the canopy. Her anger seemed to have deflated as quickly as it had risen; now she just looked sad. She reached under he bed and pulled out a bottle of Firewhisky and four glasses, passing them out.

“Thanks Marls.” Dorcas said, holding out her glass for her to fill.


	195. 10th September 1977

“What about Les Elliot?” James asked Marlene, but he had a feeling that she wasn’t listening to him. They’d had tryouts yesterday, they needed a Keeper and another Chaser now that Ben and Ana had gone. James wanted Marley to help him choose, it had to be someone they both liked, but she wasn’t really listening. Honestly, he’d been quite amazed that she’d even agreed to sit him him, tryouts had been tense to put it mildly.

“Hello, Marley? What about Elliot. He flew well, and he was great at passing.”

“No. I don’t like him.” Marlene mumbled, not even looking at the paper he had in his hand.

“Richard Armstrong?”

“No.”

“Jane Armstrong?” James asked, the younger of the two Armstrong siblings had actually been a better flier.

“Maybe.” Marlene sighed, staring out of the window.

“Kevin Bates?”

“No.”

“Ian Hudson?”

“No.” She said and James had to resist the urge to throw his papers at her. She was being infuriating.

“Susan Sutton… No, she was terrible.” James shrugged.

“Put her on the maybe list.” Marlene murmured and James stared at her. Was she actively trying to sabotage their chances of winning the cup.

“She could barely fly!” James protested.

“We can train her up if we have to—”

“Made your decision yet?” James glanced up briefly as Kevin Bates dropped down next to Marlene on the sofa. He returned irritably to his papers. He knew they should have gone somewhere else to do this.

“Not yet.” He said. “I’ll let everyone know when I have.”

“Excellent. I’ll just be over there.” Kevin said jovially, he seemed pretty confident he was going to get it, but he hadn’t heard Marlene’s flat out refusal.

“He was actually really good.” James said to her quietly, nudging her with his foot. She looked round at him, a dark expression on her face that raised goosebumps on his arms. “He did better as a Keeper though, I think that might be a better fit.”

“No.” She said flatly.

“Fine. Melissa Gilbert?”

“Maybe.”

“Tracey Kay?”

“Maybe.”

“Ross Davies?”

“No.” She said. They were running out applicants who knew which was the front end of a broom.

“Hang on, I’m sensing a pattern here.” James said carefully, as he looked at the four girls — the only names — on the maybe list.

“I don’t want a bloke.” Marlene mumbled. James got up from the chair and went to sit beside her. He didn’t think this was about him and Sirius and their complete betrayal, but whether she’d want to talk to him about whatever was going on in her head was debatable.

“Marls—”

“This is someone new you’re asking me to spend time with, to work with.” She didn’t add get changed in front of but he was sure she was thinking it. None of them had ever really seemed to care about that, even Marlene. He wanted to ask her why this was different, but he wasn’t sure how to do it without making her explode. “I might be alone with them and I’d rather that be a girl.”

“You work with me, you get changed in front of me, you’re alone with me.” James pointed out.

“You don’t count. And neither do Eric and Dougie, nor did Ben. I _know_ them.” She mumbled. “You won’t understand.”

“Is this about Craig?” James asked carefully, but even as he asked it, he knew the answer. Post-Craig Marlene was different. James couldn’t remember the last time he’d seen her with anyone new. She spent all her time with the Gryffindors in their year, the team, or Nicole.

“No…” She said, though she sounded as though she didn’t believe her own words.

“Craig was a bastard, but you don’t know that these guys will be. Davies or Bates—” 

“Bates put his hand on my leg when he sat down.” Marlene snarled, her eyes flashing.

“He did what?” James asked quietly.

“You heard me.”

“I didn’t notice…” He admitted. “I’m sorry, I would have said something, you _know_ I would have. I know you’re furious at me but I know that you know I wouldn’t just sit by and let someone grope you.”

“I don’t need you to— Look, he moved it pretty quick when he saw the look on my face but can you see why I might be a little cautious?” Marlene sighed.

“I’m really sorry.” He murmured. He wasn’t apologising for not seeing what had just happened, well, he was… but not just that. He was just _sorry_ , sorry that she’d been treated like complete shit, sorry for whatever Craig had done to her that had made her so… Un-Marlene. Marlene nodded and offered him an attempt at a smile.

“So, we have Jane Armstrong, Susan Sutton, Melissa Gilbert and Tracy Kay to choose from — I’m ruling Sutton out right now. But the other three were good.” James said, reaching for a cheerfulness. He wasn’t prepared to pick anyone Marlene wasn’t happy with, and those were the only ones on their maybe list. 


	196. 14th September 1977

Marlene jumped as a hand closed around her elbow, twisting free she spun around. It was just Sirius. He looked as miserable as she felt.

“Please, can we talk.” He begged. She missed him so fucking much. Marlene nodded and led him into an empty classroom at the end of the corridor, a chill creeping up her spine. It was _that_ classroom. She flinched as the door clicked closed behind them. _It was just Sirius. It was just Sirius_. She forced her face into an impassive mask and turned to face him.

“I am so sorry that I didn’t tell you.” He said quickly, before she could speak. “You have no idea how sorry I am.”

“I get that it was because of Remus, I _get_ that. But you saw it on my face — when I found out about him — you knew that I knew. Why didn’t you tell me then?” She asked, though really she was far angrier at James for that. It had been before she and Sirius had been together. “Why didn’t you tell me in any of the hundreds of hours we’ve spent alone together?”

“I don’t know.” Sirius said, shaking his head.

“Is it because you’re a coward?” She asked coldly. Sirius flexed his hand — it wasn’t intentional, she _knew_ that, it was just a reaction to that word. But she stepped backwards quickly, and she was sure that he’d seen the fear on her face. _It was just Sirius_.

“Marley, I wasn’t going to— I would never…” He trailed off, looking around the classroom, and realisation dawned on his face. “Let’s go somewhere else.” She hated the pity in his voice — it was one of the things they had in common.

“I’m fine.” She said, her voice far steadier than she had expected it to be. “I never would have betrayed you. I need you to know that. You could have told me. And I wouldn’t have ended it between us.” Hadn’t she proved that with the map? They were still together. She was still madly in love with him. 

“I was scared.” Sirius said, though his eyes kept scanning over the desks… wondering, she was sure, which one it had been. An angry fire blazing behind his eyes.

“Look at me.” She whispered, stepping forward and taking his hand. It seemed to take him an enormous amount of effort to do so. “I love you, and I need you to know that there is nothing anyone could do that would make me betray you, nor James, Remus or Peter. I love you, Sirius.” She said again. This was not the time for the teasing ‘I hate you’ repartee. “Just… Please don’t lie to me again.” She begged.

“I won’t, I swear I won’t.” Sirius murmured, and Marlene tilted her head to kiss him, pulling him closer by his robes. Sirius tore his mouth away and pressed his forehead to hers. “Not in here.”

Marlene felt the tears well up and quickly tried to blink them away. She didn’t want him to think that she was weak. She _wasn’t_ weak. A tear escaped and Sirius brushed it quickly away with his thumb.


	197. 1st October 1977

Lily stared out of the window, she could make out the Gryffindor’s practice down on the pitch but she wasn’t really watching it. Her mother had written back, Lily had gotten what she wanted, but it didn’t stop her feeling miserable.

“Alright, Evans?” Sirius asked. Lily jumped and looked down at him from where she sat on the windowsill. Sirius hoisted himself up to sit opposite her. “What’s up?”

“I’m just watching them practice.” She said, nodding out of the window.

“Ah, so you’ve written down the rules to remind yourself.” He teased. Lily kicked him and he braced himself against the wall so she couldn’t push him off.

“I get why Marlene says she hates you.” Lily muttered, rolling her eyes. He could be so irritating at times.

“Well, when Marlene says she hates me, she’s really saying ‘I love you’, so love you too Lils.” Sirius shrugged. Lily grinned, she couldn’t really deny it.

“Shut up.” She said. They watched the practice in silence for a while. She had always found it nice to just sit with Sirius, especially when he was by himself. They were content in each other’s company. 

“So, if it’s not Quidditch rules, what is it?” He eventually asked, nodding at the paper in her hands.

“I wrote to Petunia, asking if I could bring James to the wedding…” Her cheeks turned scarlet and he grinned. It must be so obvious that she wanted to have James alone. “Shut up.” She said again, though he hadn’t said anything. “He’s my boyfriend, I want to bring him to my sister’s wedding, I want to introduce him to my family.”

“Whatever you say, Lils.” He smirked, and she kicked him again. “She said no?” He asked.

“No, she didn’t write back at all. This is from Mum. I’m allowed to bring James, but clearly Petunia doesn’t want me to. She doesn’t even want _me_ there.”

“I’m sorry.” Sirius said quietly.

“We used to be so close, and then I got that stupid letter about this place and she _hates_ me for it. She thinks I’m a freak.” Lily felt her eyes well up and she quickly tried to swallow her tears back down.

“You’re not a freak.” Sirius said firmly. “You’re incredible.”

“Shut up.” She smiled again.

“I know how you feel, I promise I do.” Sirius said, reaching over and taking hold of her free hand. Lily looked at him. His relationship with Regulus seemed even worse than the one she had with Petunia.

“Yes, I suppose you do.” She murmured. “Do you miss him?”

“So much.” Sirius murmured. “And I hate admitting that because he believes _terrible_ things. His great ambition is to be a Death Eater — might already fucking be one by now. But sometimes I miss him _so much_.” He looked up at her guiltily, but it wasn’t his fault. “I’m sorry.” Lily squeezed his hand.

“You don’t need to be sorry.” She murmured. “I’ve tried talking to Marlene about it, but she doesn’t get it, not really.”

“Yeah, I know that feeling.” Sirius laughed. “I get jealous watching her with Nicole… Even with Jeremy and she only ever seems to argue with Jeremy.”

“Me too.” Lily admitted, Marlene’s relationship with her siblings seemed so easy, it was heartbreaking to watch.

“Maybe you and Petunia will patch things up one day.” He said hopefully.

“I’d say the same about you and Regulus… but you know…” Lily sighed. “Thanks for this.”

“Anytime, Evans.” Sirius said, turning his attention back to the pitch. Lily watched him for a moment before following his gaze.


	198. 26th October 1977

Lily sat up in bed, she’d been tossing and turning for hours, trying to get comfortable, trying to drift off, but sleep wouldn’t come. She looked at the clock illuminated by the moon light, it had gone one in the morning and she had a full day of classes tomorrow. Shooting envious glances at her fellow girls’ sleeping forms she swung her legs out of bed and pulled on her dressing gown and slippers. She’d go to the kitchens for a hot chocolate.

The castle was quiet. She nodded to Nearly Headless Nick as she past him in the corridor — she supposed what James liked most about being Head Boy was that no one questioned him being out of the common room in the middle of the night.

As she walked along the first floor corridor, movement from the window caught her eye. Two figures were skirting the edge of the forrest. Lily moved closer, squinting. Her first thought was James and Sirius, creeping around the grounds in the middle of the night must be a habit for them at this point.

But then, they would be under James’s cloak, she wouldn’t be able to see them. In the bright moonlight, they also looked a lot smaller than her Lost Boys… and it was the full moon, they wouldn’t be walking round in this form. No, this had to be some kids from a younger year.

_It was the full moon._

Lily’s blood ran cold, she bolted down the stairs and out into the night. She sped across the grounds towards the two figures, the closer she got, the younger they looked.

“Hey!” She shouted. The two turned, first years she was sure of it. They looked sufficiently scared enough being caught out of bed that they had to be first years. “What on earth do you think you’re doing out of bed?” She demanded.

“Exploring.” The braver of the boys mumbled. Lily narrowed her eyes.

“What are your names?” She asked.

“Darren Spencer.”

“Dean Spencer.”

Lily remembered them from the sorting, the twins that had been put in Ravenclaw and Slytherin. “Alright, I’m giving you each a detention. Get back to bed, now. It’s not safe to be wandering round the grounds at night.”

“Bitch.” Darren muttered as they walked back towards the castle. Lily glared after him, but she let that slide. One of the two slammed the castle door furiously behind them and Lily pulled her dressing gown tighter around herself against the cold night air. She needed to get back inside too.

The sound of a howl sent a shiver up her spine that had nothing to do with the temperature. Remus sounded close by. Those stupid kids didn’t know how lucky they were… then _really_ he shouldn’t be out of the Shrieking Shack. Lily set off towards the castle at a brisk walk. She was almost away from the trees when the wolf darted out from the darkness, his teeth bared.

“Remus.” She breathed, backing away slowly. He seemed monstrous, but her mind recoiled at the thought. He was still Remus, sweet, kind Remus. He couldn’t help this. It wasn’t his fault. Lily stumbled, falling backwards as the werewolf advanced. Morecambe and Wise were supposed to be keeping him in check, where the fuck were they?

Lily struggled to pick herself back up from the wet grass. Remus snapped at her, and a large black dog darted out from the trees, his teeth closing around Remus’s neck as they rolled.

_Sirius._

The wolf and the dog fought before Remus chased him back into the forest. Lily pushed herself to her feet, wanting to run after them, to make sure Sirius was okay, but that would be monumentally stupid of her. James ran out from the forest, turning back into himself.

“Lily!” He shouted, grabbing hold of her shoulders. “Did he hurt you? What are you doing out here?”

“Is he going to be alright?” She asked faintly, staring through the darkness, but she could no longer see them.

“They’ll be fine.” James snapped. “What are you _doing_?”

“What am _I_ doing? Why are you so close to the castle? There were first years out here! I just sent them back to bed!” Lily snarled.

“He got away from us.” James muttered, glancing back into the trees, his expression unreadable.

“What are _you_ doing. Turn back into the stag! It’s not safe for you like this.” She said, panic rising. If he got hurt checking that she was alright…

“Not until I walk you back.” James said firmly.

“No. Go and help Sirius.” She insisted, reaching up to give him a soft kiss. “I’ll see you in the morning.” She promised. “Be safe, okay.”

James glanced over his shoulder again, a war battling across his face before nodding. He stepped away, and turned back into the stag. Lily ran her hand over his neck and he sped off into the forest. As soon as he was gone, Lily turned and ran towards the castle, not stopping until she had closed the door tightly behind her.

That had been too close. 


	199. Note

Guys, I'm so sorry, but I'm going to have to take a week off. I've got an exam coming up that I need to worry about. But I'll be back posting next week. I'm so sorry!!

xxx


	200. 27th October 1977

Remus stared up at the hospital wing ceiling. He had almost attacked Lily. She was the kindest, most gentle person he knew, and last night he’d almost attacked her. He could have killed her. He could have made her a monster.

What were they all thinking, leaving the Shrieking Shack like that? It was just a matter of time before someone got hurt. He was supposed to be locked up in that horrid little house — that was the deal — and he was risking so many people’s safety.

He deserved to be expelled. Arrested even.

“Remus.” Lily whispered, approaching his bed, her voice small. Remus shifted to sit up, but couldn’t bring himself to look at her.

“I’m so sorry.” He choked, shifting as far away as he could when she put her hand on his arm.

“It wasn’t your fault.” Lily said, clearly undeterred because she sat down beside him on the bed. “It wasn’t your fault. And I’m alright, look at me.”

Remus swallowed and forced himself to meet her eyes. There was a ferocity in them. “I could have killed you.” He mumbled.

“But you didn’t. It’s not your fault. If anyone’s to blame it’s The Two Ronnies.” Lily said, and Remus snorted at the moniker. “You don’t have any control when you’re like that, it’s not _you_. But those two idiots…” She sighed.

“I should leave. It’s the safest thing… I should’ve left last Christmas, after I—”

“Stop that.” Lily snapped. “You’re not going anywhere. I won’t allow it. You belong here as much as anyone else does. I’m going to have it out with James and Sirius later… Peter too, I suppose. But you’re not going anywhere. You’ve done nothing wrong.”

“Lily—”

“I know you’d never hurt anyone on purpose.” She said it with such a finality that Remus couldn’t help but smile. He loved Lily so much. “Now, how are you feeling? Do you think that you can face going down to breakfast?”

Remus shook his head, he felt awful. Weak and achey. He doubted that he’d be able to keep breakfast down anyway. Peter would take notes in Potions for him, as he usually did when he couldn’t make it to class. He’d just spend the day here. Madam Pomfrey was good company, she liked him, sometimes she taught him healing spells if she wasn’t too busy.

“Alright, well I’m going to bring you a cup of tea. That’ll make anyone feel better.” Lily smiled, kissing his cheek and getting up. Remus could hardly believe that she didn’t hate him, that she still wanted to be his friend. He was a monster.


	201. 5th November 1977

Marlene glanced behind her as the team walked out onto the pitch for the first match of the year. Melissa looked so green. James would be furious if they lost, she’d been so adamant about which new players to pick. Jane didn’t look much better either, James was whispering hurried advice in her ear.

As Clodagh came up beside her Marlene grabbed her arm.

“Catch the snitch as soon as you can.” She muttered, quiet enough so that James wouldn’t hear her.

“That’s literally the opposite of what James told me to do.” Clodagh hissed back. “He’s captain, Marley.”

“Melissa and Jane need the win, and if Melissa lets in too many goals its going to ruin her confidence. We need to keep this as short as possible.” Marlene said.

“James will kill me.” Clodagh whispered, they’d stopped now, and James was shouting at them to hurry up. The rest of the team were stood opposite the Slytherin’s, and they’d already mounted their brooms.

“Tell him that I was me that told you to, he can be mad at me instead.” Marlene said before dashing over to the rest of the team.

“What’s wrong?” James asked, as soon as they’d stopped.

“Nothing, sorry, we were just chatting.” Marlene shrugged. She mounted her broom and kicked off as soon as Madam Hooch blew her whistle.

Melissa managed to save the first goal, but let in the next two. The Slytherins were just playing _better_ than they were today. Jane was fairing slightly better, she really was a very good flier, and she worked almost as well with James and Marlene as Ana had. She did drop the Quaffle a few more times than any of them really would have liked, but it was nothing a few more training sessions wouldn’t fix.

“What’s she doing.” James shouted, flying up beside her as Clodagh went into a dive, racing Regulus towards the ground. “We’ve not even been up here ten minutes.”

Seconds later, she pulled out of the dive, fist in the air.

Marlene had never seen James look so annoyed about winning. The rest of Gryffindor house seemed happy with the win though, so fuck him. They were spilling onto the pitch as though they had won by more than a hundred and seventy points.

“We’ll get some drinks for a party.” Sirius said, wrapping his arm around her waist as soon as she’d dismounted. “What’s up with you James?”

“I’m fine.” James said, though the kiss Lily planted on his mouth seemed to cheer him up ever so slightly. “We’re going to get changed, we’ll see you up there… Come on.” He added to the team.

He turned to Clodagh as soon as the changing room door had closed behind them. “What was that about?”

“I told her to catch the Snitch as soon as she could.” Marlene said quickly. James stared at her, but said nothing. For a second she thought he was letting it drop, but as the team filed out to return to the castle he grabbed hold of her arm.

“What the fuck, Marley?” He asked. “I can’t believe you went behind my back like that.”

Marlene thought that was a little rich coming from him. “Look, Melissa and Jane needed a quick win. Look how happy they were. They’ll play better next match now!”

James tore his Captain’s badge off his robes and held it out to her. “Take it, you clearly think I have no idea what I’m doing.”

“Of course I don’t think that, Jamie.” Marlene sighed.

“Don’t do it again.” James snapped, fixing the badge back in place.

“Or as Head Boy you’ll give me detention?” She bit before she could stop herself, but to her relief the corners of James’s mouth twitched in a smile.

“Yeah, I fucking will.” He said.


	202. 1st December 1977

“Sirius.” Sirius pulled the bedcovers tighter around himself, he could feel warm breath in his ear and a soft hand on his chest beneath his pyjama top. “Sirius, wake up.” Marlene whispered.

“Timesit?” He grumbled, opening his eyes. The room was pitch black.

“It’s about two in morning.” She said. Sirius groaned and pulled his pillow over his head. Marlene snatched it away and he felt it hit his feet. “I want you to come with me, get dressed.” He felt her stand. Where could she possibly want him to go at two in the morning? He reached out and grabbed hold of her waist, pulling her down on top of him. To her credit she kept very quiet. The pressure of her body on his, the way her hair was tickling his face…he suddenly felt awake, alert. He reached for her thigh and was disappointed to feel denim beneath his fingers instead of bare skin. She grabbed hold of his wrist and pinned it to the mattress when he popped open the button of her jeans. Probably a good thing too, James would never speak to him again if he had sex with Marlene while he was sleeping in the next bed. “Get dressed.” She whispered.

“Not until you tell me where we’re going.” He said quietly.

“It’s snowing. It’s my last first snowfall here.” Of course, snow. He couldn’t see her features but he knew her eyes were alive with excitement. Sirius reluctantly slid her off of him and got out of bed. It took him considerably longer to find warm clothes and boots in the darkness, but after five minutes and a stubbed toe he followed Marlene down to the common room. He noticed that Marlene was wearing the thick jumper that he had actually been looking for under her coat. The rotten thief. It occurred to him, as they creeped down the stairs to the sixth floor, that he should have grabbed James’s cloak. However, they didn’t meet Filch or any of the teachers along the way and, after a quick check to make sure the coast was still clear, they went through the door to the Astronomy corridor. Sirius was sure they would have had a better view when things were lighter a few hours from now, but he doubted Marlene would be told. They climbed the spiral staircase and out into the cold night air. “Look at it.” Marlene breathed, gazing out over the grounds and surrounding mountains. “Isn’t it beautiful?”

“Yeah.” He said softly, watching her. What possible interest could this view itself hold for him when he could watch her admiring it. There was a layer of fresh snow beneath their feet and she pressed her shoe into it, leaving a footprint. How was it possible that she treated every single snowfall like it was her first? It was still falling gently, dusting her hair…his own too he imagined. She looked down at it on her sleeve, before sticking out her tongue to catch some in her mouth like she was a little kid. Marlene sat down on the parapet, facing him, and he felt the smile drop from his face. “Get down.” He said quickly, but she just rolled her eyes. “Marley, I mean it. I’ve watched you fall through the air to what should have been your death once already. It’s not an experience I ever want to repeat.”

“Don’t worry, I’m indestructible. I’m never going to die.” She grinned.

“Marley—” She leant back, hovering right over the edge, sitting almost horizontal, and released her grip on the stone wall. Sirius could feel his heart pounding against his ribs. One gust of wind, one slip on the ice, and she’d fall head first off of the tower. “Marlene, please get down.” He begged. She must have heard the desperation in his voice because she sighed and sat up. Sirius lunged forwards, grabbing her wrist and pulling her into his arms. He backed right up to the wall and slid down to sit on the stone floor. Marlene settled herself down, her back against his chest, and looked up at the sky. His grip on her was a little tighter than normal, but if it bothered her she didn’t complain.

“Can you see your star? Wait, are you a star or constellation prize?” She shook with laughter at her own terrible joke.

“I hate you so fucking much.” He muttered, unable to stop a grin curling around the words. “Ifyou listened at all in Astronomy—

“I didn’t.”

“—you’d know that I’m a star.” He finished.

“You’re just as pretty to look at.” She said it in a teasing voice, but the way she gave his knee a squeeze…he knew that she’d meant it. He bit down on his tongue to keep himself from saying something cheesy, he hadn’t caught her in a soft enough mood for grand declarations of love — he’d realised that as soon as she’d started leaning out over the edge of the tower —and she’d be sure to mock him for pointing out that he’d rather look at her. “Are you going to name your children after stars? If you have any that is.” She seemed to suddenly be choosing her words very carefully.

“I doubt it.” Sirius chuckled. “The whole star thing is a Black tradition, and I don’t want to saddle a child with anything to do with my family…probably best if I just don’t have any at all really.”

“You don’t want kids?” Marlene asked, her voice sharper than he was sure that she had intended.

“I don’t think it’s fair to inflict myself on a child.” Sirius shrugged, he’d hardly had the best role models…who was he supposed to model his parenting off? His mother? His father? He shuddered at the thought.

“Stop it, Sirius.” Marlene snapped. “Any child would be lucky to have you. You’re good, and brave, and you have such a big heart.”

They sat in silence for a long time. Sirius wanted, more than anything, to be able to see himself the way that Marley saw him. Marlene McKinnon, who would not hear a bad word said against him, who always defended him with a ferocity so blinding that it out shone the sun. 

“What’s going on in that big brain of your’s?” Sirius eventually asked. Her posture in his arms had changed, and while he couldn’t see her face, he knew that a darkness had crossed it.

“I keep thinking about those kids. And that poor woman…I can’t even imagine…” She choked. Sirius stiffened beneath her, trying to force his mind back out of that park. Bellatrix had been aiming at him. He had no proof that the Death Eater under the mask had been Bella, of course, but he knew it like he knew his own name. She’d followed him…to kill him? On some level definitely. Yet, she’d hesitated. It had been a fraction of a second, where they had shared some memory or another, but it had been enough for Marley to pull him out of the line of fire. Except, when she did, the Killing curse had hit a five year old.

There was nothing he could do to walk that back.

There was nothing he could do to walk back Bella firing Killing curses around in frustration and slaughtering so many innocent people that sunny afternoon.

There was nothing he could do to walk back that poor Muggle lady’s screams as the dust settled and she was confronted with the bodies of her two dead children.

That would haunt him for the rest of his life.

“So do I.” He muttered. “I wish we could have done more.” They had fought…Marlene had sent for Moody with some of the fastest magic he had ever seen in his life, they had battled with the Death Eaters alongside the Aurors that had showed up…but it didn’t feel like enough. They hadn’t saved enough people. “It was Bellatrix, I don’t know about the others that showed up, but that first Death Eater was Bella.” He finally said.

“What?” Marlene asked, turning on her side in his arms. “You never said, how do you know?”

“I don’t know, but I _know_.”

“But she tried to _kill_ you.” The outrage in her voice was adorable. Marlene was from a happy, normal, and more importantly, good family. There were just somethings about his life that she would never be able to understand. She complained about her brother, but Jeremy was still a good guy…he was positively angelic in comparison to some of Sirius’s relatives.

“You’ve seen what my family is like.” Sirius shrugged. “They aren’t all awful. Andromeda is wonderful, and I think Narcissa is good deep down…very, very deep down. Most of them think I’m a complete waste — though Uncle Alphard just left me fucking fortune, he always liked me.”

“Ah yes.” He could hear the grin in her voice. “You’re back to being a very rich man, I wasn’t looking forward to having to break up with you.”

“I hate you so much.” He laughed again. “I’m going to start looking for my own place, maybe move back to London. I’ve imposed on the Potters for too long.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. Mr and Mrs Potter love having you.” Marlene sighed. Sirius made a non committal noise, his own parents didn’t love having him, why on earth would someone else’s? He didn’t want to get into an argument with Marlene over it now though, she always seemed to win. “Why do you call them Mr and Mrs Potter?”

“You call them Mr and Mrs Potter.” Marlene pointed out.

“Yes, but you’ve known them all your life, I haven’t.”

“I’ve never asked. James also calls Mum and Dad Mr and Mrs McKinnon. Maybe when Jeremy was born Mum just thought it would be the polite thing because they’re older and it stuck. Let’s go back inside.” She said, pushing herself to her feet.

“Marlene McKinnon has had enough of the snow?” Sirius gasped. “Are you feeling alright? Would you like to go to the hospital wing?”

“Oh shut up.” Marlene smiled, holding out her hand. Sirius took it and she pulled him up.

“Who are you and what have you done with my girlfriend?”

“I hate you, Sirius Black.” She smiled. They hurried back down the spiral staircase, through the door at the end of the corridor, and back out onto the sixth floor. She slipped her icy fingers under his layers of clothing to touch his stomach.

“Marley!” He jumped.

“Shh.” Her hiss was impaired by her giggles.

“What do you think you are doing?” They spun around, McGonagall was stood behind them in her tartan dressing gown, her pulled to a thin and furious line. “ _It is three o’clock in the morning!_ ”

Sirius tried his best to stop himself from grinning, he really did, but compared to his usual misadventures, wandering around in the dead of night was pretty minor. “We were sleepwalking, Professor.” He said sweetly, trying to bite back his laugh. McGonagall’s face softened for a moment, clearly remembering the straight up lie the eight Gryffindor’s had told her in their first ear when she’d caught them out of bed, before the stern expression was securely back in place.

“We’ll see how amusing you find it during a week of detentions.” McGonagall snapped.

“It was my idea Professor. You should just put me in detention.” Marlene said quickly, Sirius felt a rush of affection, Marlene was terrified of McGonagall’s wrath and she was trying to take all the blame. “I forced Sirius to come with me.”

“She’s a liar, Professor, prolific really. It was my idea.” Sirius said. “You shouldn’t give—”

“Enough! Go to bed, both of you! There will be hell to pay tomorrow morning if either of you yawn in Transfiguration.”

Sirius didn’t dare speak until they were back up on the seventh floor. “Definitely worth it.” He grinned, squeezing Marlene’s hand


	203. 8th December 1977

“Miss Evans, please can I have a word?” Lily looked around to see McGonagall standing outside of her office at the other end of the corridor. Something was wrong, she could see it on her face. Something was very, very wrong. James must have sensed it too, because the grip on her hand tightened. Her mother had written to her a couple of days ago. Her dad was in hospital, she’d promised to write as soon as she knew more… She’d told her not to worry…

“Come with me?” She begged James quietly. She couldn’t bring herself to let go of his hand just yet. The walk to McGonagall’s office seemed so long.

It had to be bad news. McGonagall wouldn’t look like that if it wasn’t. Had her mother written to her instead?

“Take a seat.” McGonagall said, gesturing to the chair opposite her desk and conjuring another for James.

“What’s happened?” James asked. Lily glanced at him. He looked so serious, worry was creasing his forehead. Lily looked back to McGonagall, dreading the response.

“I received a letter from your sister—”

“ _Petunia_ sent you an owl?” Lily asked, her mind struggling to comprehend the idea. Petunia _hated_ everything to do with magic.

“Lily, there was an accident. She said that your mother was driving home from visiting your father. I’m so sorry. She passed away.”

“What?” Lily asked. Her ears were ringing. It wasn’t _possible_. There had to have been a mistake. Her mother _couldn’t_ be dead. Petunia was getting married next week!

Her mother couldn’t be dead… she was her _mother!_

“Lily…” James murmured. She was shaking her head now.

“She can’t have.” Lily said defiantly, but even as she did she felt tears spill over.

“The funeral is scheduled for the Thursday before your sister’s wedding, you will of course be allowed out of school as early as you need… Today if necessary.” McGonagall said. Lily only realised that she was gripping her desk when she patted her hand.

“Wait, Petunia is still having the wedding?” James asked. "That'll be a _lovely_ day." He sounded appalled… and maybe he should be… but their mum had spent so much time planning it. She’d want Petunia to have her day.

How could her mother be dead?

Lily didn't understand. She didn't want to understand. It was too unbearable. Her grip on James's had was so tight that she must be hurting him, but she couldn't seem to let go. He was the only thing keeping from crumbling to the floor. If she could just keep hold of James, everything would be okay. If she could just keep hold of James, none of this would be real. 


	204. 15th December 1977

James had gone with Lily to the funeral. McGonagall had tried, half-heartedly, to stop him, but he hadn’t asked. Lily needed him. He’d borrowed Sirius’s Muggle suit — it felt weird to wear the one he was going to be wearing to Petunia’s wedding — and the sleeves and trouser legs were ever so slightly too long.

Lily had been very quiet on the Knight Bus home the day before, and she was even quieter today. James didn’t know what to do or what to say. Petunia had hardly spoken to her. Her father was out of hospital but he didn’t look well at all. Lily had gone off for a chat with him and she’d come back with tears running down her cheeks. James had tried to ask her what was wrong, but she’d just shaken her head.

She looked like her whole world was collapsing around her and James didn’t know what to do or say.

He kept apologising and he was sure that it was starting to irritate her.

“This wasn’t how I imagined you meeting my family.” She mumbled as they sat in the corner of the pub where they were having the wake.

“It’s alright.” James said, looking round the room. He supposed most of these would be at the wedding on Saturday, they might be slightly more interested in meeting Lily’s boyfriend. He still couldn’t believe Petunia was going ahead with the damn thing. He watched as Lily ran a finger around the rim of her untouched whisky glass.

“I’m so sorry, Lily.” He said again before he could stop himself. Lily made a noise in the back of her throat. James took a sip of his drink, more for something to do than anything else.

“I was a beautiful service, Lily.” Said the elderly woman, that approached their table.

“ _She_ didn’t organise any of it.” Petunia said coldly as Lily opened her mouth to speak. “She’s been away at boarding school, having he time of her life with her new boyfriend.”

James’s hand itched to reach for the wand in his pocket, Lily must have read his mind because she placed a hand on his forearm and gripped it tightly.

“It was all Tuney, Aunty Mavis.” Lily said quietly. “She’s done an incredible job.”

James felt a surge of hatred towards Lily’s sister. Had that _really_ been necessary.

“Your mother would be very proud of you, and with a wedding so soon.” Mavis said, linking her arms with Petunia’s bony one and leading her away.

“She’s such a bitch.” James muttered under his breath.

“She’s right though, I should have done more. I should have come home sooner.” Lily mumbled.

“You were distraught, you’re grieving. You’ve done nothing wrong.” James assured her. “It took Petunia long enough to write to McGonagall. She should have sent a letter as soon as it happened.” The bitch had waited almost a week to let Lily know that their mother had died! He didn’t care if Lily forgave her, James never would.


	205. 17th December 1977

“You’re the worst dancer I’ve ever met.” Lily laughed, looking over her shoulder as James closed the hotel room door behind them and dropped her shoes in the corner.

“Look, I get points for enthusiasm. And I danced a lot more than Vernon did and it’s his and your sister’s bloody wedding day.” James said, kicking off his own shoes without bothering to undo the laces. Lily took a swig from the champagne bottle they’d brought up with them from downstairs and passed it to him. She sank down onto the bed and started to pull the pins out of her hair, it had been a nice day really, it was just heartbreaking that her mum wasn’t there for it. “How are you holding up?” He asked quietly, kneeling down in front of her.

“I just can’t believe she isn’t here for this. I can’t believe she won’t be here for _my_ wedding… Not that I’m saying that we’ll—” Lily broke off quickly, her cheeks feeling warm, she didn’t want him scare him off. “I just mean in general, not necessarily to you. Forget I said anything, it’s the champagne.” James reached up and took out the final pin, the rest of her hair tumbled down from its bun, and she was sure he was trying not to smile. “Mum was so excited for Tuney’s wedding. I just can’t believe she’s gone.”

“I’m so sorry.” He said for what had to be the thousandth time, and she felt tears well up. She wished he would stop, she knew he was just trying to help but it wasn’t. There was no _helping_ with this. Her mum was dead.

“I bet this isn’t what you were imagining when I said we’d be sharing a hotel room.” Lily said with a snotty laugh. “Less crying, more fucking.”

James winced, and Lily bit her lip. “Well yeah.” He admitted, sounding relucant. “But I don’t _expect_ anything.”

Lily stared down at her knees, there was such a huge hole in her life now. “I’m running out of people that love me, people that care what happens to me. I don’t think Tuney has loved me in a long time. Dad isn’t going to get better. I’m going to be all alone.” She whispered.

“You have me, I love you and I’m not going anywhere.” James said. Lily’s head shot up.

“You love me?” She asked, trying to blink away tears, and smiling slightly.

“I… Yeah, I love you, Lily Evans.” He sighed, sounding a little bit irritated with himself.

“Are you just saying that to get me into bed?” She teased, looking away.

“No.” He said firmly, and he gently took hold of her chin, forcing her to look at him. “No, I’m not.”

“I love you too.” She smiled, her heart starting to race. Lily stood, pulling him with her. As she leant up to kiss him, she undid his belt. He deepened the kiss pulling her closer to him. She broke away and turned her back to him. “Unzip my dress?” James slid the zipper down and pushed it from her shoulders. Lily turned back to him and loosened his tie, before pulling it off over his head. “We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to…”

“That’s supposed to be what I say.” James grinned, undoing the buttons of his shirt.

“Why, because you’re the bloke?” She challenged, raising her eyebrows.

“No, because you’re upset and I don’t want you to feel like you _have_ to do this right now. We can wait.” Jame said.

“I want you James.” Lily breathed, smirking as her eyes drifted down to see the effect those words alone seemed to have on him. James grabbed her hips and pulled her back to him, and she tangled her fingers in his hair as he kissed her.


	206. 6th January 1978

Marlene returned to the train compartment and rolled her eyes, James had made himself comfortable in her seat by the window. “I was gone for two minutes.” She complained.

“I wanted to sit by Lily.” He shrugged, wrapping his arm around her shoulders.

“You’ve made him a soft git, Lils.” Marlene said, though really James had always been a bit of a soft git, deep down anyway. Marlene let out a shriek as Sirius grabbed her waist and pulled her down on to his lap.

“You can sit here.” He grinned against her shoulder.

“I hate you so much.” Marlene sighed, tilting her head for a moment to kiss his cheek. “Was the wedding alright? I mean, as alright as it could be anyway?” She asked Lily. She wasn’t overly close with her own mother, but she couldn’t imagine losing her like that. 

“Yeah, it was as lovely as it could have been.” Lily sighed. “I just can’t believe Petunia has married that…”

“Wanker?” James supplied.

“That works—”

They all turned as the compartment door slid open and Peter stepped in, Marlene frowned, she hadn’t remembered seeing him on the train home. “Everyone have a good Christmas?” He asked, dropping down into one of the seats.

“What the fuck, Peter?” Sirius asked, sliding Marlene off of his lap.

“I thought you were staying at school with Remus?” James frowned, looking between Peter and Sirius.

“I changed my mind.” Peter shrugged. “Got the Knight Bus home.”

“The full moon was on Christmas Day. Are you telling me you left Remus to spend it all alone?” Sirius demanded, Marlene could feel him working quickly towards an explosion, if James didn’t beat him to it.

“He said he didn’t mind.” Peter said, trying to sound casual but she noticed he didn’t seem to want to look at any of them.

“Of course he said that, he didn’t want you to feel like you had to stay.” James snapped.

“If you told me you wanted to go home for Christmas then I would have stayed at school.” Sirius snarled. Marlene quickly put her hand on his arm, sure that he was about to curse him. It wasn’t that Peter didn’t deserve it, but it was hardly a fair fight. 

“—want my mum to be on her own.” Peter mumbled.

“Doesn’t she live with your grandad?” James asked.

“He died a few years ago.” Peter said. He looked so sad that Marlene couldn’t seem muster the same level of anger that James and Sirius had risen to.

“Oh Peter.” Lily said, moving to sit beside him.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” James asked.

“You can all see thestrals because of something exciting, my grandad was just old.” Peter muttered. The air in the room stilled. Marlene stared at him, her mind tripping over his words. _Exciting_? There’d been nothing fucking exciting about it.

“What the fuck did you just say?” Sirius laughed, but it the sound was absent of any humour.

“I don’t mean— That came out wrong.” Peter stumbled.

“I should hope so.” James snapped. Marlene gave Peter a disgusted look, there was something fucking wrong with him. The five of them fell into silence. There was nothing _exciting_ about being able to see the thestrals, about why they could see them.

“You should have told us you wanted to go home.” James finally said. “One of us would have come back. You shouldn’t have just left Moony like that.”

“I know. I’m sorry.” Peter said. Marlene thought he’d be better off apologising to Remus.


	207. 7th January 1978

Sirius pushed open the door to the common room, Marlene was dozing in one of the armchairs by the fireplace, her Charms book open on her chest. He lit the fire with a flick of his wand and crossed the room to take the book away. As Sirius pulled a blanket over her, Marlene stirred.

“Hi.” She mumbled, her eyes fluttering open. “What time is it?”

“Almost three.” Sirius whispered, leaning down to place a kiss on her forehead. “You can’t be comfortable.”

“I’m not.” Marlene said, shifting slightly and pulling him down onto the chair with her.

“Even less so now.” Sirius grinned against her collarbone, humming as she ran her fingers through his hair.

“Worth it.” She laughed. “Can’t you sleep?”

“No, I think the thunder woke me up.” Sirius said, he had tried to get back to sleep but with no success.

“I didn’t even notice it.” Marlene said, the sat quietly for a moment, listening to the rain against the windows. “How’s Remus?”

“He said he’s fine, but he always says that.” Sirius sighed. He must have had a miserable Christmas, out in the Shrieking Shack by himself. “I should have been here for him.”

“You didn’t know he’d be all alone.” Marlene soothed, rubbing circles onto the back of his neck. “Peter said he was staying. James was with Lily so you wanted to spend Christmas with Mr and Mrs Potter. There’s nothing wrong with that.”

There might not be anything _wrong_ with that, but he still felt guilty.

“I still can’t believe what Peter said.” Marlene murmured. “There’s something fucking wrong with him.”

“Stop it.” Sirius muttered. Peter could be a bit thick sometimes, say stupid, insensitive things — they all did — but he didn’t want Marlene talking shit about him.

“You really didn’t know about his grandad?” She asked, tilting her head to look at him. Sirius shook his head. He couldn’t believe Peter hadn’t told them about that. Did he think they would have teased him for being upset? So they teased him a lot… They all teased each other, but they would have been there for him if he was upset.

“He never really talks about his family.” Sirius said, now he came to think about it, he didn’t know much about Peter’s home life at all. He’d never bothered to ask. “I’m a really bad friend.”

“No you’re not.” Marlene said quickly.

“I am, at least I am to Peter.” Sirius sighed, kissing her temple.


	208. 5th February 1978

“I can’t believe you’ve scheduled a Quidditch practice on my birthday when it’s fallen on a Sunday, a Sunday when it’s bitter cold out.” Marlene said, dropping into the seat opposite him at the Gryffindor table. It was still early, and the Great Hall was still mostly empty. Most students always came to breakfast late on Sundays.

“You were born in February, it’s always bitter cold on your birthday.” James shrugged, biting into his toast. Marlene could whinge about it all she wanted, his mind was else where so it would be easy to tune her out.

“You had better at least be giving me a birthday party later to make up for it.” She huffed, pouring milk onto her cereal.

“Wait, it’s your birthday? You should have mentioned something!” James smirked.

“Shut up.” Marlene grinned, though it looked like she was trying very hard not to. James checked his watch, the rest of the team still hadn’t joined them. He’d give it a bit longer, and then turf them out of bed. “Things with you and Lily seem to be going well.”

“I’m going to marry her.” James sighed before he could stop himself, and quickly covered his mouth with is hand.

“What?” Marlene whispered. James bit his lip, but this was Marlene, he could tell her anything.

“Well, I’m going to ask her to marry me. She might not want to.” He murmured. “I’ll leave it another couple of months, and I want time to find a nice ring… but yeah…”

“We’re still in school.” Marlene said.

“We are?” James asked with fake shock, looking around wildly. “I hadn’t noticed. She might say no, or think we’re too young… But I’m going to ask anyway.” He didn’t care how long it took until they actually got married, but he wanted her to know that he intended to marry her. He was so completely in love with Lily Evans, there was no one else in the world for him.

“Is this because we all might die as soon as we join the Order?” Marlene frowned.

“No.” James said firmly. “It’s not because we all might die. I’d want to marry her even if there was no war going on.”

“Well, in that case, I’m really happy for you.” Marlene smiled, topping up his cup of tea.

“Don’t tell anyone, alright, you know how gossip spreads around this school. I want to actually ask her, rather than it come thirtieth hand from some Ravenclaw fifth year.”

“I won’t. But Jamie… I really think she can do better.” Marlene teased.

“Shut up, Marley.” He muttered kicking her under the table in the shin. He thought she was right, but he just hoped that Lily didn’t come to that realisation.

“I might have been nicer if you hadn’t got me up this early on a bitter cold Sunday morning on my birthday.” Marlene shrugged.

“I thought I’d have to have someone drag you out of bed.” James said, he was surprised that she’d made it down before the rest of the team, Marlene usually needed dragging out of bed in a morning.

“Yeah, well, you have Mary to thank for that. She made sure I got up.” Marlene muttered bitterly.

“I should deputise her more often.” James laughed.


	209. 12th March 1978

“Have you seen Lily today?” James yawned as he walked over to where Dorcas and Mary were siting on one of the sofas in the corner of the common room. He’s slept in this morning, the party for yesterday’s win had gone on into the morning. He doubted Lily was still in bed though, she’d gone to bed a lot earlier. “She _can’t_ be studying, it’s the weekend.” It was Lily, she was probably in the library with Remus.

“She’s gone to dance.” Mary said. James huffed and left the common room. Why was that room only there for Lily? He’d long given up on it, written it off as one of those eccentricities of Hogwarts. A room that played favourites with students. He wandered down the seventh floor corridor and sure enough there was that stupid door. He pushed it open and closed it quietly behind him, sitting on the floor.

Lily was always so mesmerising when she danced, moving quickly on her toes, leaping and spinning to the music. Her arms moving so gracefully. He could spend the rest of his life watching her.

“How do you do that?” He asked, after a while. Lily spotted him in the mirrored wall and grinned.

“Years and years of practice and hard work.” She murmured. James kicked off his shoes and went to join her, trying to copy the way that she’d moved her arms but he looked ridiculous. Lily ran her hands across his arms, moving them for him, straightening his shoulders. She slid her hand down his front as he breathed in and placed a kiss between his shoulder blades. He breath hitched as her fingers dipped below the waist of his jeans, grazing his skin. Lily moved around to face him and lifted herself up to sit on the bar that ran along the mirror.

“Are all your toenails still attached?” He asked taking hold of one of her ankles and unfastening the ribbons of her shoe. His stomach rolled slightly as he remembered the way one of the nails had just come off in her hand. “You might be the most beautiful girl I’ve ever met, but your feet are disgusting.” He grinned, and Lily laughed.

“Evidence of that years and years practice and hard work.” She shrugged.

“How is it that this room is only here when you want to use it? When I come looking it’s a solid wall.” He challenged. It was so frustrating, they’d even tried to include it on the map but drawing kept disappearing.

“I expect it’s because it can tell that you’re a terrible dancer.” Lily teased. James rolled his eyes and lifted her leg up, kissing the back of her knee. Her flexibility was a wonderful bonus. “James!” She laughed, he grabbed hold of her other ankle when she tried to kick him away. Lily tugged him closer and ran her fingers through his hair. “I’d ask if you just rolled out of bed but your hair is always a mess.” She mused. James’s breath came out as a hum as she rubbed circles onto the back of his neck.

“I have also just rolled out of bed.” He admitted.

“You missed breakfast and lunch.” Lily said.

“I could eat.” James smirked, sliding his hands up her thighs. Lily blushed, but he was sure that she was trying very hard not to smile.

“That was _not_ what I was getting at.” She insisted, though she didn’t sound that convincing.

“Sure you weren’t.” He murmured, pressing his lips back to the underside of her knee.


	210. 1st April 1978

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it’s been a few days since I updated, I’ve been covering shifts at work. Just a short update today, and I’m not sure I can promise daily updates right now, but I’ll try not to leave it this long between updates again!!

“I thought we were going to The Three Broomsticks?” Sirius said, as he followed James up the high street. He had no idea where they were going; they took a left and but there were hardly any shops down this street. “Are you taking me somewhere quite to murder me? Look I’m sorry, it was a joke. It’s April Fools day. What did you expect?”

“No that was good. You had me believing Marley was pregnant for all of five seconds before I remembered the date.” James chuckled. Marlene had played it on Sirius first and Sirius had fallen for it much longer than James had. The fear had probably impaired his senses, it wasn’t his fault. James stopped and peered into the window of a jewellers. “I’m going to ask Lily to marry me.” He said, pointing out a diamond ring. “I snuck down here yesterday to choose it. I just wanted to know what you think.”

“Very funny. Sure you are.” Sirius said, rolling his eyes.

“This isn’t a prank. I won’t be asking her today of course, because that’ll be her reaction too.” James sighed. “So, do you like it? Wait, that doesn’t matter — do you think Lily will like it?”

Sirius took a closer look at the ring. It was very pretty, sparkling up at them from the box it sat in. “I think she’ll love it, but are you sure?” Though Sirius was less concerned about that, and more concerned about how devastated James would be if Lily turned him down.

“I’ve never been more sure about anything.” James smiled. “When I actually decide what day I’ll ask her I’m going to take her on a nice romantic walk. I don’t _really_ want to do it in front of everyone, I don’t want her to feel like I’m putting her on the spot.”

“Well, congratulations mate...I’m sure she’ll say yes.” Sirius grinned, gripping hold of his shoulder for a moment. James nodded and pushed opened the shop door.


	211. 3rd April 1978

Lily checked her watch as she raced down the marble staircase. There was only a five minutes until the bell and she’d not had breakfast yet. She hadn’t meant to lose track of time, she’d gotten up early to dance and and the next thing she knew it was almost time for Charms. She hurried along the Gryffindor table to where James was waiting.

“There you are.” He said, handing her a cup of tea as she perched on the edge of the bench.

“Have I mentioned that I love you?” She grinned, before taking a large gulp of tea.

“I also saved you some toast.” He laughed. Lily planted a kiss on his cheek and took a bite. She was starving this morning. “You can inhale it if you want, I promise I won’t judge you.” He said. At this Lily finished it off in two more bites, barely taking the time to chew.

“You’re so hot.” James smirked.

“Oh, shut up.” She muttered, draining her mug. The bell rang and Lily got up. “Everyone else already gone?” She asked as they joined the stragglers leaving the Great Hall.

“Remus, Peter, Dorcas and Mary have.” James said, as they made their way to the third floor corridor. “I don’t know where Sirius and Marlene are.” Lily was willing to hazard a guess. “I need to talk about something with you later.” He suddenly sounded so serious and Lily’s heart began to race. _Oh god_ , she thought. She glanced over at him.

“What is it?” She asked, dreading the answer.

“Later—”

“Look, if you’re going to end it, I’d rather you didn’t drag it out.” She sounded panicked and she hated that, he must be able to hear it.

“End it? What, no! Lily you’re insane! Turn around.” He said, and she realised that he was no longer walking beside her. Lily turned and James was in the middle of the Charms corridor, down on one knee.

“What the fuck are you doing? Get up.” She mumbled, people around them had stopped to watch. The silence was rippling down the hallway.

“What does it look like I’m doing?” He asked, taking a little red velvet box out of his pocket.

“It looks like you’re being an idiot.” She muttered, trying not to let the excitement get the better of her. If this was a wind-up then she was going to kill him. “Are you being serious right now?”

“No, I’m being James.” There was a quiet titter of laughter from the onlookers. He was such an idiot. “I wanted to ask you on Saturday, when I got the ring, but it was April Fools day and you never would have believed me—”

“I’m not sure I believe you now!” She she said, dragging a shaking hand through her hair. James grinned and flipped the little box open. The ring was beautiful, simple but elegant. The diamond sparkled up at her and someone squealed before it was quickly stifled. She sort of wished that he hadn’t done it in front of everyone.

“Lily Evans, I love you. I have loved you for so long, I didn’t even realise what was happening. It has only ever been you. Will you marry me?” James asked.

“But we have Charms!” She cried before she could stop herself. James snorted.

“I don’t mean right this second!” He laughed. “But I’m asking you to marry me. This isn’t a joke, or a bet, or a dare. This is a real proposal. I want to marry you, I want to be your husband. I don’t care if I have to wait until the end of first period, or the school year, or fifty years!”

Lily bit her lip, trying very hard not to smile. More and more she’d been fantasising about marrying James Potter, and what a marvellous life they could have. “James.” She breathed. Someone watching shouted for her to say yes, and he gestured wildly in the direction of the voice.

“I’m going to stay right here until you give me an answer, I don’t care how long it takes…but I will blame you if my knee disintegrates.” He was grinning, but there was a slight panic lacing his voice. He was worried that she was going to say 'no'.

“You swear that this is real?” She asked, heart pounding.

“Cross my heart.” He said, making the accompanying hand motion.

“Yes.” She breathed. James’s face lit up and he was the most handsome that she had ever seen him. He got up and strode over to her, pulling her into his arms. Lily didn’t care that everyone was watching their kiss. She was going to _marry_ James Potter. They broke apart at the sound of a crash and looked around, it was so loud that it had cut across the cheers and wolf whistles. Severus had blasted a suit of armour across the corridor. He was glaring at them, so much hatred in his face. But Lily didn’t care. He would never be happy for her, and there was no use in trying. She tuned back to James and wrapped her arms around his neck. “I love you too.” She breathed.


	212. 10th April 1978

The second floor corridor was a mess. A window was broken, letting cold rain run down the wall, a portrait of two wizards playing chess was torn, and large pools of blood dotted the stone floor.

“What happened?” Lily asked Florence, who was stood at one end of the corridor — she imagined to stop students using it before it was cleaned up.

“You don’t know?” Florence asked quickly, concern lacing the words. “Severus and James got into a fight, they’re in the hospital wing—” She had barely finished speaking; Lily hurtled down the stairs to her right, and along the corridor to the hospital wing.

“James!” She shouted, pushing open the doors and striding passed the rows of curtained off beds.

“Down here.” She heard him say from behind a wall of curtains. His voice sounded weak. She hurried towards him and pulled back the curtains.

“James.” She breathed, swaying slightly. He was white. A nasty wound ran from his shoulder to his hip, his white shirt was now stained red and balled up on the table beside him. Lily dropped down into the empty chair.

“It’s healing, don’t worry.” He said with a small smile. “Madam Pomfrey can work wonders, she said their might not even be a scar — not sure I believe her.”

“Severus did this to you?” She asked, sitting forwards to take his hand. She was going to kill him.

“After he broke my leg!” Lily jumped at the sound of Snape’s voice as it echoed down the hospital wing, but she could see him. He must be similarly walled off. Madam Pomfrey clearly thought it best that they not be able to see each other. Lily yanked the curtain around James closed again and turned back to him.

“You broke his leg?” She challenged. He was Head Boy, he couldn’t behave like this any more. He was her fiancé, he couldn’t behave like this anymore. Fear flashed across his face, somewhere inside he thought she was going to leave him. Lily gripped his hand a little tighter.

“I did.” James murmured. “And I’d do it again too.”

“For fucks sake, James.” She sighed, picking up the cloth from the bowl beside him to wipe away the trickle of blood that had run down his ribs.

“I won’t have anyone talking about you the way he did.” James said firmly, his hazel eyes boring into her hers with an intensity that made her heart flutter despite her frustration at him.

“What did he—”

“I’m not repeating it.” He snapped, turning his head to stare up at the ceiling. “It was vile… you’re furious at me aren’t you?”

“You should have ignored him.” Lily mumbled, pressing her lips to his hand.

“None of us would have.” And Lily knew that in her bones, she didn’t even need to know what had been said to know that was true.

“What did he do to you?” Lily asked, touching her fingers to the skin of his torso, a couple of inches from the the cut. It looked deep, but it definitely looked better than when she’d entered, what ever it was it did seem to slowly be healing itself. James shrugged.

“I don’t know, but he’s done it before.” He said touching his cheek, and Lily remembered that sunny afternoon by the lake where he’d acted like a complete prick. “At least Madam Pomfrey has healed it before. She said it would be quicker if she actually had the counter curse, but the greasy bastard said he doesn’t know it, said he doesn’t even know what the spell was.”

Lily was willing to bet her engagement ring that Snape was lying about that. “There’s so much blood upstairs.” She whispered. “You look awful.”

“I’m going to be okay, I have to be, you only get to be the glamorous young widow if I die after we’re married.” He teased and Lily snorted.

“That’s not funny.” She said, though her smile was betraying her.


	213. 17th May 1978

“That doesn’t look like Potions revision.” Marlene grinned, glancing over at Lily as she flopped down onto her own bed. Lily had a Muggle bridal magazine open in front of her, and it seemed she’d tried to hide it behind a pile of books.

“I’ve just been teasing her about the same thing.” Dorcas grinned.

“Leave me alone.” Lily said, turning a little pink. “Anyway, Marls, I’ve been revising all evening, you’ve been at Quidditch practice.”

“Well, we’re hardly going to lose the last match we’ll ever play… James would never speak to me again.” Marlene said, reluctantly reaching for her books.

Dorcas snorted, and sat up on the bed. “Please, you’d never speak to James again, don’t try and pretend you’re not just as invested as he is.”

“So are there any dresses you like?” Marlene asked Lily quickly, Dorcas was right of course, but she wasn’t about to concede on that. 

“Yeah, a few. A few that would look good on you too.” Lily said, pushing her books aside and dropping any pretence that she wasn’t actually flicking through the magazine.

“Bridesmaid dresses?” Marlene grinned. “As long as you don’t make me look hideous… Nothing peach and puffy… I’ve seen the photos of your sister’s wedding.”

“Wedding dresses.” Lily smirked, waggling her eyebrows. Marlene’s face fell, and she quickly looked behind her, not that there was any way that Sirius could have heard that.

“Do not let Sirius hear you say that.” She muttered. “You’ll scare him off.” She was also a little worried that as soon as they left school and entered the real world he’d find someone better, and she didn’t want to get her hopes up by imagining their future just yet.

“I don’t think Sirius scares that easily.” Dorcas laughed.

“Yeah, well. I’m not risking that just yet.” Marlene said. “Anyway, we’ll probably all be dead long before me and Sirius get married.”

“Marley!” Lily said, throwing a book in her direction, it missed her by an inch.

“I’m kidding.” Marlene said, but she wasn’t, not really. Things were getting worse out there, Voldemort seemed to be getting stronger everyday, and all of them intended to join the Order as soon as Dumbledore would let them. It would be a miracle if they won, and and even more so if they all even made it to twenty-five.

“Good, I don’t really fancy talking about us all dying while I try and pick out a wedding dress.” Lily murmured, flicking to the less page a little more forcefully than necessary. There was a small frown creasing her forehead now, and Marlene wondered if that was just because she was annoyed at her for saying it, or because she knew that she was probably right. Marlene got up and crossed to Lily’s bed, lying down beside her.

“Alright, come on then. Which ones do you like?” Marlene asked; revision could wait a little bit longer.

“For me or you?” Lily asked with faux innocence, and Marlene elbowed her in the ribs.


	214. 29th June 1978

James plucked a daisy from the grass and brushed it across Lily’s nose. Lily giggled and pushed his hand away. It was a beautiful afternoon by the lake, and at least they could enjoy it now that their exams were done. He’d had his parents looking for cottages for them, they were getting married, and everything would be perfect… When they weren’t fighting for their lives that was.

Lily opened her eyes and looked up at him, her head in his lap. “Have you finished all your packing?” She asked.

“Of course.” He lied quickly. Sirius snorted as he waded knee deep in the lake with Marlene on his back. She let out a scream as he pretended to drop her. James thought that was a little rich, at least he’d made a start, Sirius’s stuff was still scattered all across the dormitory.

“You should get a move on, we’ve got a lot to do tomorrow, you can’t just be Head Boy when it suits you.” Lily scolded, but he knew she wasn’t really annoyed at him. There was just nothing fun in helping to organise the carriages back to Hogsmeade station.

“Just been to see Dumbledore now.” Dorcas said as she and Mary approached them, Mary picked James’s camera up off the grass and snapped a photo of them all. “I’ve joined the Order.”

James wasn’t surprised in the slightest, Dorcas had been itching to sign up. He was sure that she’d start Auror training the second they left school. Then again, she lived with Alastor Moody, she’d probably been partaking in some unofficial Auror training for years.

“We did the other day.” Marlene said, her voice sombre. “We have to fight, what other choice do we have?”

She was right, of course. James couldn’t just sit back and live his life while people were being slaughtered… People like Lily. He’d never be able to live with himself.

“We’ll be alright, won’t we?” Peter asked. James resisted the temptation to roll his eyes, Sirius either wasn’t as successful or hadn’t even bothered trying.

“Highly fucking unlikely.” Sirius muttered irritably. James couldn’t even understand why Peter had joined up. Sure, Sirius had called him a coward, but he’d only been taking the piss. 

“Well, even if we’re not, we’ll fight bravely,” Lily said, jumping to her feet and looking around at them all. “And make death proud to take us!”

“ _Anthony and Cleopatra_!” Remus laughed, pointing up at her. With one motion Lily clicked her fingers and pointed back.

“ _Anthony and Cleopatra_!” She grinned. James looked between them frowning, it must be some book or other, it usually was when Lily and Remus had these moments. Frankly, he’d rather death not take Lily anywhere, but she was definitely right about the fight bravely part. And Lily Evans was one of the bravest people he had ever met. He looked up at her, her green eyes sparkling in the afternoon sun. So brave, and so beautiful. And he loved her completely.


	215. 30th June 1978

Marlene looked down across the sea of students crowding in the Entrance Hall, waiting for the thestral drawn carriages to take them back to the station. She couldn’t believe that she was saying goodbye to this place. She wasn’t going to be soft enough to cry about it, not while she was surrounded by her friends anyway, but she was going to miss this school so much.

The time she spent here had been the best years of her life… and the way things were in the real world, that would probably remain the case.

“We’ll be okay.” Sirius murmured. Marlene jumped, she hadn’t heard him on the stair behind her.

“Yeah, we’ll be fine.” She said, but she didn’t believe this, and she very much doubted that he did either. It was easier to keep it all at a distance when they were inside the safety of the castle walls. At school they were safe, it was when they had gone home that tragedy had always struck — tearing through their lives, chipping away pieces of them.

If she didn’t know any better, the glorious sunshine streaming into the Entrance Hall through the heavy front doors would have lulled her into a false sense of security — how could anything very terrible happen on days that were this beautiful?

They were going to be alright, even if they weren’t.

“You were right, Lily.” Marlene said, leaning forward and squeezing her hand.

“About what?” Lily asked.

“We’ll make death proud to take us.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we have reached the end. Thank you for sticking with me this long! I really hope that you've enjoyed it!


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